The House That Alice Built

by Chris Penhall

  Alice paused, not sure whether to go in or not. I seem to be making a habit of listening into conversations I’d rather not hear, she thought, putting her hand on the door, but not moving.

  ‘You what? Stephano, we are not in a relationship. I can get texts from whoever I want.’

  ‘Well I don’t want you to.’

  ‘All we do is have sex.’ Kathy sounded exasperated.

  Alice saw a customer walking down the corridor towards the salon and decided to interrupt before she did. She coughed loudly a few times, then shoved open the door. ‘Hello!’ she said brightly.

  Kathy and Stephano looked up, surprised.

  ‘Hello, Stephano. Lovely to see you. Do you have a customer due, Kathy?’ She nodded pointedly towards the door.

  Kathy looked confused as the footsteps from outside grew louder. ‘Ah, yes. It’s not me. I’m just finishing. It’s with another of the girls.’

  ‘I’d better go,’ said Stephano. ‘Nice to see you, Alice.’

  As he turned to go Kathy said, ‘you can’t expect me to think it’s anything more. You just pick me up occasionally, and I allow it.’

  ‘I took you for a drink the other day.’

  ‘Yes you did. You ambushed me outside work.’

  Stephano sighed. ‘Okay. Come on a date with me. I’m asking you out. Let’s arrange something for next week. I’ll text you with arrangements.’

  Kathy looked bemused. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Okay, good,’ he said, and left.

  Kathy grabbed her bag and opened the door. ‘Let’s go then,’ she said to Alice, as she turned towards the sea.

  ‘Sorry I got in the middle of that,’ said Alice.

  Kathy untied her silk scarf from around her neck and shook her head. ‘At last, uniform off,’ she said. ‘And thank you for warning me about the customer. Can’t have the salon owner arguing with men in public!’

  ‘That’s okay,’ said Alice, ‘And now you’re going on a date?’

  ‘Yes, I don’t know what’s got into him. He didn’t even take me out when we were married. Always wining and dining his customers then. But anyway, how was your date with Luis?’

  Alice giggled. ‘It was lovely.’

  ‘Excellent!’ Kathy looked pleased. ‘When are you seeing him again?’

  ‘Soon hopefully. But, um there was …’ Alice stopped herself, not wanting to ruin the feeling she’d woken up with by raking over what had happened when she’d met Antonio.

  ‘There was?’ asked Kathy.

  ‘Oh, nothing.’

  ‘What have you been up to today anyway? I can guess as you have a blue spot on your arm.’

  ‘I painted the swimming pool,’ announced Alice.

  ‘Don’t they have handymen to do that?’ joked Kathy, as they paused at a jewellery stall.

  ‘Aren’t you the funny one?’ said Alice, picking up a beaded green bracelet and examining it.

  ‘Yes, I am.’ Kathy laughed and tried on a pair of purple sunglasses.

  They meandered on into the town and Alice paused at the window of a very expensive looking clothes shop. ‘That blue silky dress at the back,’ she said. ‘Maybe I’ll treat myself to that for my birthday.’

  ‘That’s not for weeks yet,’ said Kathy. ‘Aha, that means you’ll be hanging around for longer than a fortnight then!’

  Alice was silent for a moment. ‘I didn’t say that. But I could buy it before my birthday and take it home.’

  Kathy put her arms around her friend. ‘You like it here, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes I do. The longer I stay the more I like it.’

  ‘Well stay here then.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because … what’s that music? I know it, but I can’t place it.’ A slow, haunting melody drifted along the street.

  ‘I know it too. But I’ve never heard it played on an accordion and electric keyboard before.’ They paused and listened.

  ‘It’s coming from over there,’ said Alice, pointing at two teenage boys standing next to a café.

  ‘I know it, I know it …’ said Kathy. ‘It’s … it’s …’

  ‘Some Day My Prince Will Come,’ giggled Alice.

  ‘Snow White!’ chuckled Kathy. ‘Remember, we used to watch it all the time on cold and damp Sundays?’ She stood and listened. ‘Maybe your Prince has finally arrived, Alice.’

  ‘And maybe yours has too, again!’

  ‘Yeah, right. I don’t think so. Prince Charming, no. Prince Amorous more like. And anyway, what about you and Luis last night?’

  ‘Well, it was rather lovely but …’

  ‘But?’

  Alice just needed to say it, because when she did, it would sound irrelevant and that would make her feel better. ‘We had to go and get something from that Antonio, who’s very rude by the way, and some girl was there who was also very rude. It was like a weird little soap opera.’

  ‘What did Luis say?’

  ‘He said before we went in that they weren’t his people.’

  ‘Well that’s good.’

  ‘And he did kiss me.’

  Kathy punched the air. ‘Yes, Alice Dorothy Matthews is back on the man-wagon!’

  Alice laughed. ‘Kathy!’

  ‘Oh, look, there’s Ignacio.’ Kathy motioned her head in his direction.

  ‘Ola! Boa Tarde,’ said Ignacio walking towards them. ‘My nephews are very talented, don’t you think?’

  ‘Your nephews?’ As she spoke Alice noticed their spiky hair and piercing blue eyes. ‘I see the resemblance.’

  Ignacio smiled proudly. ‘My sister’s children,’ he said. ‘I will be taking them home soon. She will only let them do this for an hour a week and only if I am here to look after them.’

  ‘Well they are excellent,’ said Kathy.

  ‘I’ll tell them. And her. She doesn’t really like them doing it, but they are teenagers. Wilful. Sometimes it’s best to give them a little bit to keep them happy.’

  Kathy and Alice took some coins out of their purses and placed them in the little plastic cup the boys were using to collect their earnings.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Ignacio, bowing. ‘And where are you going to on such a lovely evening?’

  ‘Nowhere really,’ said Kathy. ‘I’m training Alice to amble. They don’t do it in London. She’s picking it up very well.’

  Ignacio beamed at Alice. ‘It’s working. The power of Paradise.’

  ‘Do you know everyone?’ asked Alice, smiling towards the boys. ‘You seem to.’

  ‘I have a very big family, so yes!’ He laughed. ‘Enjoy your evening. And Alice – you should stay for a while. You really look much better than when you arrived. You looked so exhausted, stressed, very pale.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Alice. ‘We’ll see you soon.’

  ‘Ate logo,’ he said as they began to wander towards Fisherman’s Beach.

  ‘Maybe the song was about Ignacio,’ whispered Kathy. ‘I think he likes you.’

  Alice slapped her on the arm. ‘He’s just being nice. Stop stirring!’

  Chapter Nine

  ‘There’s none left!’ shouted Alice from the kitchen, peering into the back of the cupboards to make sure that there wasn’t a secret stash of Mary’s herbal tea hidden away.

  ‘I’m crestfallen. Do I look crestfallen?’ asked Kathy, standing in the doorway.

  ‘Well I’m crestfallen too. I can’t drink ordinary tea now, or even shop-bought herbal teas. She didn’t leave much, did she?’

  ‘She didn’t realise you were a herbal tea addict, I expect,’ laughed Kathy, taking a biscuit from a pink tin.

  ‘I wasn’t until I bought all that chamomile tea after I got made redundant and Adam sent that postcard,’ said Alice. She paused and poured herself a glass of water. ‘You know I feel sick all of a sudden. I didn’t, then I mentioned those two things and I feel physically sick.’

  Kathy put her arm around her.

  ‘I’m okay,’ s
aid Alice, trying to breathe the nausea away as she opened the cupboard door again. ‘Old Mother Hubbard. Tea-wise anyway. We’ve drunk the Very Relaxing Ones, the Very Energising ones, the Very Cleansing Ones, and a couple of Oooh Watch Out Ones – I had to go for a walk, a swim, and then danced around the living room after those – my antidote was that one sample of the Sleep Like a Baby one. Never to be repeated. I didn’t wake up for fourteen hours.’

  Kathy opened the fridge door. ‘Wine then,’ she said, taking out a bottle of Vinho Verde.

  ‘Oooooooh, I’m so disappointed,’ cried Alice. ‘No more of Mary’s herbal tea. What are we going to do?’

  ‘Very funny,’ said Kathy. ‘Good whining.’

  ‘I’m fairly relaxed mostly,’ said Alice, ‘apart from when real life pokes its nose in like just now.’

  ‘That’s because Luis is working his magic on you, my dear,’ said Kathy, taking the glass of water from her and replacing it with a glass of wine.

  ‘Well he really is much better than herbal tea. Really. Although I don’t know when I’m seeing him again. He sent me a text saying he’s very busy. But he wants to see me soon.’ She took a sip of wine. ‘Something about the property he’s doing up, and then something about his friend Antonio’s mum needing her car repaired and so he was doing an extra couple of gigs to help him get more cash. And, well, anyway … you don’t think he’s trying to get rid of me do you, only nicely?’

  ‘No I don’t. He obviously likes you. And at least he told you. I find that level of communication in men admirable. I personally am not used to it. ‘

  ‘I suppose you’re right.’

  ‘We could message Mary and ask for the secret recipe.’

  Alice walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. ‘You’d better do it. I can feel my fingers itching to get on social media and track Adam down. And that woman.’

  ‘Well you can …’

  Alice took a bigger sip of wine. ‘Nope. Not ready. I have spent two years trying to locate him with no success. He’s either changed accounts or blocked me. And now I don’t want to find him. Because if I do, it all becomes real again.’

  Kathy put her phone down on the table. ‘It’s okay, I’ve just messaged Mary for the recipe. Hopefully she’ll reply soon from wherever she is.’

  Alice’s phone pinged. She checked the message and felt her breath catch in her throat.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Kathy.

  ‘It’s a text from my mum.’

  ‘What’s wrong with that?’

  Alice looked up. ‘The first word starts with “A”.’

  Kathy took the phone gently from her. ‘I’ll check it, shall I?’

  ‘Yes please.’

  Kathy read the message. Then she hugged Alice before she read it out. ‘It says, “Adam is definitely back in the country. He phoned us and left a message. I am completely ignoring the little shit. Rather enjoying winding him up. Will continue to do so but need to tell you he is here and on the loose. He’s a bit upset that he can’t get in the house. Was muttering something about changing the locks being illegal on the phone. Well done you! All my love, Mum.”’

  Alice breathed out slowly and stood up. ‘There it is again,’ she said. ‘The nausea. Sorry.’ She sat down again suddenly. ‘In the last couple of weeks I’ve actually started to relax and enjoy myself. I mean, I know I have to go back soon and sort everything out. But just for a little while can’t I have some peace? He’s even ruining my break.’ She managed to get to her feet and walk over to the balcony. ‘I’m not ready to deal with all that. I don’t want to. Not yet. Not at the moment.’

  ‘You are in Paradise,’ said Kathy softly, ‘and you don’t have to deal with anything you don’t want to.’

  Alice stared at the trees outside. ‘No I don’t’

  ‘It’s up to you to decide when you want to sort things out.’

  ‘Yes it is.’

  ‘And you’ll have a lovely time with Luis in Lisbon.’

  Alice turned and smiled at her. ‘Hopefully,’ she said. ‘Funny, just thinking about him has calmed me down.’

  ‘Calmed you down? Surely at this stage of your relationship he should be giving you hot flushes, and not of the menopausal kind.’

  ‘Oh, yes, my stomach does a loop the loop when I see him. And when he texts. And when I think of him. But in a strangely calm way. I can’t explain it.’

  ‘Well are you okay now? You look less white.’

  ‘Yes, thanks. I hadn’t thought of that difficult stuff much for the past few days now. I’ve been so caught up in things here. It’s been so lovely, Kathy. For the first time in years.’

  ‘Did you really change the locks in your house?’ asked Kathy.

  ‘Of course I did. It’s not his house. It’s my house. Although strictly speaking I think if his name’s on the paperwork I shouldn’t have. But I did.’

  Kathy laughed. ‘Right, let’s do something about this. Where’s Mary’s manual? We can see if she’s left any ideas on what you can do to take your mind off things.’

  ‘It’s in the book case. The pink and white book with ribbons in the pink and white box with ribbons.’

  Kathy retrieved it and opened it at a random page.

  Alice closed her eyes. ‘Okay, what does it say? Surprise me?’

  ‘Paddle boarding.’

  ‘Paddle boarding?’

  ‘Paddle boarding. On this page anyway,’ said Kathy. ‘On the next page it’s tile painting. But I opened it on paddle boarding, so that’s what we do. It says, “Alice, sometimes when life gets you down it’s a good idea to throw yourself into a physical challenge. I took up paddle boarding at the age of fifty-eight. There’s a school at Guincho run by a very tall, blond and handsome Dutch chap called Hans. Tell him I sent you. You will love it. I know you will.’’’ Kathy slammed the book down. ‘Yes!’ she said, punching the air. ‘Time to get salty and sandy!’

  ‘I don’t want to.’

  ‘Tough. Mary says you have to. I’m coming too. It’ll take my mind off Stephano.’

  ‘Can we not just wait for her to get back to us with her tea recipe?’

  ‘I’m going to give them a call and book us in.’

  ‘Water again,’ said Alice, this time taking a big gulp of wine. ‘Now the little swine has sent you jumping in it, too.’

  ‘Yes, well, this will be controlled and wearing wetsuits, rather than leaping in randomly in sundresses. This is taking control. Day after tomorrow?’

  ‘But ...’

  ‘No buts.’ Kathy covered Alice’s mouth with her hand. ‘We are going to have some fun whether you like it or not.’

  Alice smiled at her friend. Kathy was right. She needed to force herself to have as much fun as possible because when Adam finally managed to push himself into her life again, it would be in very short supply.

  Alice had been hoping for a windy, wet day so the paddle boarding would be cancelled. But the sea was calm, the breeze was soft and the sun was shining brightly. ‘I thought that the water had to be dead flat with no waves for us to do this?’ she muttered to Kathy.

  ‘It is,’ she replied. ‘And there’s no turning back now. It took me twenty minutes to get into this wetsuit.’

  ‘Looks a bit choppy to me,’ said Alice.

  ‘Hans says its fine.’

  ‘Well, he would.’

  ‘Ladies.’ Hans walked towards them. ‘Come a bit closer so you can hear better and I can introduce you to your boards.’

  ‘Is the water cold?’ asked Alice, anxiously

  ‘Only moderately.’ He laughed. ‘That’s why you have the wetsuits.’

  They walked over to the small group of students comprising of three schoolboys, two long-limbed teenage girls and a man in his fifties who was telling everyone he was having a mid-life crisis.

  ‘These are your boards,’ said Hans. ‘I need you to stand on them with one foot slightly in front of the other for balance.’

  The group did as they we
re told. Hans handed out the paddles. ‘Now,’ he said, ‘in less than an hour you will be experts in steering your boards whilst standing. Before that you will fall in a lot. And before that you have to learn to get on your board, and how to fall in the water properly. But first, I will show you how to stand up.’

  Fifteen minutes later they were dragging the boards towards the water. ‘Remember,’ said Hans, ‘don’t expect miracles the first time you go in the sea. Take it slowly. Have fun, and I will come out to see each of you individually.’

  Alice looked at the sea warily. ‘I won’t be able to do this,’ she said.

  ‘Come on, just go for it. What have you got to lose?’ urged Kathy.

  ‘My dignity,’ muttered Alice.

  ‘Come! Come!’ shouted Hans as the others trotted to the shoreline. He picked up Alice’s board and carried it into the water. ‘The rest is very easy,’ he said.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Alice, looking up at his frame silhouetted against the sun. I can’t not do it with his gorgeousness watching, she thought.

  ‘Alice,’ he said, ‘everyone else is in the sea.’

  ‘Oh, sorry, miles away,’ she said. ‘Off I go.’

  The youngsters were already kneeling on their boards, trying to stand. Kathy was soaking wet and laughing hysterically. Alice paused, allowing the cold water to lap at her feet for a few moments, her heart beating anxiously. Suddenly she was back in her kitchen, loading the dishwasher, Adam sitting at the table, flicking aggressively through an exotic travel magazine. ‘No sense of adventure,’ he said quietly. ‘Why can’t you just forget about the bloody cost for once? Why do you have to be so bloody sensible all the time and lay on the guilt trip about the money?’

  The shrieks of the others brought her back to the present. She looked at the board attached to her wrist with the rope and down at the paddle stuck in the sand. She shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the memory of Adam, took a deep breath, jumped and ran deeper into the sea. ‘Yeeehaaaaa,’ she screamed, ‘Yeeehaaaaa!’ Holding the board steady she climbed on and sat for a few moments with her legs in the water, watching a school of tiny silver fish swaying backwards and forwards with the tide.

  ‘Right,’ she muttered. ‘It is time, Alice Dorothy Matthews.’ Holding the paddle in one hand she slowly tried to move to a standing position, but the board slipped from under her and she tumbled into the sea. The cold, salty water sent a shock through her body, and she pushed herself to the surface, spluttering and coughing. ‘Fabulous!’ She laughed, climbing on again. ‘Fabulous!’