The Wedding Dress

by Danielle Steel

  “What happened? What’s wrong?”

  “It’s not moving.” She cried and held her arms out to him, and he held her and cried too.

  “Let’s go to the hospital,” he said quietly. “I’ll call the doctor. Get your things.” He called and the doctor promised to meet them at Children’s Hospital immediately. Eleanor was dreading the same result as before, and a heartbreak for them. It was all Eleanor could think about. She was silent in the cab on the way to the hospital, crying quietly, as Alex kept an arm around her and held her close. “Whatever happens, we can get through this,” he told her quietly, trying to will his strength into her, to endure another tragedy, if it happened. They were braced for the worst as they walked through the emergency room, and took the elevator up to the maternity floor, which they were all too familiar with, but never with a happy result. The doctor was already there. He looked serious as they walked into an exam room, and Eleanor lay down on the exam table, clutching Alex’s hand. His eyes were bright with unshed tears, but he locked his eyes with his wife’s, and tried to think positively about the baby they both wanted so much.

  “How long’s it been since you felt anything?” the doctor asked, as he adjusted his stethoscope to listen for a heartbeat he hoped would be there, and feared might not be, again.

  “I don’t know, about two hours. I had a big breakfast, and then everything kind of stopped. I poked it a little but nothing happened.” The doctor nodded with a concerned expression, put the stethoscope in his ears, and placed the round listening device on the other end where he thought he’d hear the heartbeat if there was one. And as he pressed down on Eleanor’s hugely round belly, the baby kicked so hard that all three of them could see it, and it almost knocked the listening device out of the doctor’s hand. The heartbeat was strong, and the baby continued to kick vehemently for several minutes as all three of them laughed.

  “Well, I don’t think there’s any doubt about that.” The doctor smiled at both of them. “I think the baby may have been asleep. Your big breakfast may have knocked him or her out.” The baby hadn’t stopped kicking for five minutes and seemed furious, and various pointed appendages were sticking out almost like a cartoon. “I think he or she may be running out of room too, we have a nice big baby in there.” That worried Eleanor a little, she was aware of it too. It was considerably bigger than the last one, but she didn’t care what she had to go through as long as it was healthy and alive when it was born. She swung her legs off the table feeling sheepish, and the doctor reassured them that given what had happened last time, they were right to come in and check if they had any concerns, and he didn’t mind at all. He lived nearby.

  “I’m sorry,” Eleanor said to Alex in the cab on the way home. “I feel stupid. But it wasn’t moving at all.”

  “It is now.” He smiled at her. “I’d say he or she is seriously pissed. That’s no little milquetoast you have in there.” They laughed about it, but from that day on, it was as though the baby had declared war on her. It pushed and shoved, pounded and kicked. She could feel elbows and legs, feet and knees, it pressed down against her pelvis with its head. It was as though it was trying to make room in a space it had outgrown, and it seemed to be growing noticeably every day.

  She could hardly finish the last month of school, but managed to, and by the time her due date came, Eleanor was exhausted. She’d been taking a beating for the last month, her belly looked like she was having twins, but the doctor insisted she wasn’t, it was just a very big baby, and an exceptionally active one. The constant movement and kicking set off contractions that the doctor said weren’t serious ones, but they were uncomfortable. Several times, Eleanor thought she was in labor, but then it stopped instead of continuing. She was two weeks late and miserable by the third week of June. When Eleanor saw the doctor, he said they might have to perform a Caesarean section if the baby didn’t come on its own in the next week or two. They couldn’t let it go any longer than that, and the baby was just getting too big. The prospect of a Caesarean frightened Eleanor. She looked worn out when Alex came home from work. He felt sorry for her, she looked miserable and she could hardly sleep at night. The baby was kicking and pounding her night and day, and the constant mild contractions she had now made it all seem worse. They were painful but never led to active labor.

  “What did the doctor say?”

  “That it’s a baby elephant, and I’m going to be pregnant for two years.” He laughed. Everything was ready in their bedroom, all the little shirts and nightgowns, the diapers and sweaters, and little caps. And her hospital bag had been packed for weeks and was waiting at the front door. All they needed was for her to go into labor now. But the doctor had confirmed again that afternoon that nothing was happening yet. Her mother called her constantly. She wanted to be there for her, but didn’t want to leave Charles alone, and Eleanor wanted to be on her own with Alex, in case it all went wrong again.

  “He said the baby is getting too big, and I may have to have a Caesarean section if it gets much bigger,” she told Alex. He was worried about it too. The baby looked huge, and he couldn’t imagine how someone as slim and narrow as Eleanor could give birth to it, and surely not easily.

  “Maybe that’s a good idea,” he said, concerned, and lay down on their bed next to her. They both wanted it to be over now and for the baby to be delivered safely. She looked like a mountain lying beside him and he could see the baby kick frantically under her dress. “Settle down in there,” he spoke to her belly, and it stopped for a minute and then started again, and Eleanor laughed.

  “I think the baby heard you.”

  “Come out soon,” he said then, “we’re tired of waiting for you.” It stopped and started again, and then Eleanor had a contraction that was stronger than the others had been. The doctor had said that the internal exam that afternoon might get things started, but this was the first real pain she’d had. “Anything happening?” he asked Eleanor hopefully, and she shook her head.

  “Probably not.” She went to take a shower, her back was hurting from the weight of the baby. She let the hot water pelt down on her belly and her back and it felt great. She stayed in the shower for a long time, and didn’t notice the water pouring down her legs in the shower, until she got out, and it continued, and she was standing in a pool of water with a look of surprise, when Alex walked in to check on her.

  “You okay?”

  She nodded, looking startled. “I think my water just broke.” The pool of water at her feet continued to spread, and she wrapped herself in a towel, and got back in the shower until it stopped, and she had several big contractions then, and could feel the weight of the baby bearing down with considerable force. “Something may be happening.” She looked at him with a broad smile. The moment had finally come. They were about to be parents, after ten and a half years of marriage. As she thought about it, she had a hard contraction, and had to sit down, and breathe through the pain. “I think I’ll lie down for a few minutes,” she said, and he looked panicked.

  “No, no. Not here. We’re going to the hospital. You’re having a baby, and I am not going to deliver it.”

  “Don’t be silly. First babies take a long time.”

  “Great. This is your sixth. And even if miscarriages don’t count, the last one does. Let’s get you dressed and to the hospital.” She had two big pains then, and he brought her clothes in to her, and she was laughing at him.

  “I promise, I won’t have it here.”

  “I don’t believe you,” he said as she tried awkwardly to dress and the pains continued. She could hardly walk down the stairs by the time they left, with her bag in hand, and Alex hailed a cab and gave the driver the address of the hospital. They had called the doctor before they left the apartment, and he promised to meet them there.

  By the time they got to the hospital, labor had begun in earnest. A nurse and the doctor helped Eleanor onto the
exam table, and when the doctor checked her, they told her she was almost there.

  “This baby is in a hurry to meet you.” He smiled as Eleanor groaned with another pain. “Would you like your husband to leave now?” he asked her.

  “No!” Eleanor said through clenched teeth. “No…I want him to stay.” It was unusual but after their last bad experience, the doctor was willing to do what they preferred.

  “I’ll stay,” Alex said quietly and took his wife’s hand in his. “We’re almost there.” Mother Nature and the baby took over then. It was one long push and howl from Eleanor as she clutched Alex’s hand, and the baby pushed its way into the world, crying loudly as it came out, and both parents watched in wonder as their baby girl was born. She almost did it herself, with very little help from Eleanor. It was all over ten minutes after they got to the hospital, and the baby weighed nine pounds, ten ounces. The moment she heard their voices, she stopped crying. She was beautiful and looked just like Eleanor, but with fair hair. She had perfect features and a little rosebud mouth. She looked at her parents with interest as they stared at her in wonder, the doctor cut the cord, and then the baby closed her eyes and went to sleep, as Alex kissed his wife.

  “You are amazing and I love you.” It occurred to him that if he hadn’t rushed her out the door, he would have had to deliver the baby himself. It had all happened so fast, and despite the baby’s size, she had been born with ease.

  A nurse took her away then to clean her and wrap her in a blanket, and Alex kissed Eleanor again as she smiled at him, and cried tears of joy. They had finally done it. They had a little girl.

  They called her parents a few minutes later, and they were immensely relieved that everything had gone well. Eleanor promised to bring her to Tahoe to meet them soon. And by then the baby was nursing peacefully at her mother’s breast.

  “What’s her name?” the doctor asked after checking Eleanor again. Everything was fine, and it had been an easy birth.

  “Camille,” Eleanor said softly with a glance at Alex and he nodded. They both liked the name.

  “She’s a beautiful little girl,” the doctor said, “congratulations!” They had earned it. It had taken ten years, but their dearest wish had finally come true. They had so much to look forward to. As Eleanor held the baby, Alex kissed his wife, and she was the happiest woman on earth as she smiled at him. He had given her the greatest gift of her life. Camille was their long awaited miracle child, and had been well worth the wait.

  Chapter 8

  After a relatively easy first year as parents, they celebrated Camille’s first birthday over a weekend in Tahoe with Eleanor’s parents, who adored her. She had added immeasurable joy to their lives too. Charles had cheered up noticeably, and was far more optimistic than he had been for years. Louise had bought a cake and put two candles in it, one for her age and one to grow on, and showed her how to blow them out.

  Camille was an easy, happy baby. Eleanor took her to a woman she knew who babysat three children in her home for working parents. She had previously been a teacher at Miss Benson’s until she had a baby of her own. Eleanor took Camille there every day and picked her up after school. Camille fit right into their life. She slept in her crib in their bedroom. They ate their meals with her. Eleanor had stopped nursing her at six months. They were with her constantly when they weren’t working. She was either in her mother’s arms or her father’s. She was the light of their life, and the center of their universe. She was their dream come true at last.

  She loved visiting with her grandparents in Tahoe, and playing outside with them. Charles loved tossing her in the air, and having fun with her. She added a whole new dimension to their lives, and had given them all hope, that if you believed in something long enough, it finally happened and turned out right. In another lifetime, she would have been whisked away by nannies, and been kept in a nursery on an upper floor of the house, and brought to them once a day for a few minutes, all dressed up. Instead, she was part of everything her parents did, and spent time with her grandparents frequently too. Her upbringing was very different than her parents’ had been, with hands-on parents who took care of her themselves.

  Meanwhile, the war in Europe was continuing, as the European Allies tried to stop Hitler from taking over Europe, and couldn’t. The Germans had occupied France a few days before Camille was born, and on her first birthday in June of 1941, most of Europe was in Hitler’s clutches. He was trying to conquer and occupy England, but hadn’t succeeded so far. By the summer of 1941, there had been considerable loss of life on both sides. America was still sitting out the war, observing keenly, but not involved.

  Eleanor would have loved to get pregnant again by then, but it hadn’t happened. She was thirty-one years old. She wondered sometimes if Camille would be their only child. She wanted more, but Camille was so adorable that if they never had another baby, she knew she could be satisfied with just one. Camille was so perfect and such a sweet little girl.

  They were in Tahoe for the weekend, the first weekend in December. Eleanor was chatting with her mother on Sunday morning, and her father had the radio on, when they heard a news bulletin come on. Pearl Harbor in Hawaii had just been attacked and bombed by Japanese forces. It had just happened. The news was chaotic and confused, and Eleanor and her parents were staring at each other, as the baby chortled happily, and Alex came in from outside. He had come from the cottage and saw on their faces that something serious had occurred. They were listening intently to the radio, and he heard the same news reports they did. He and Charles exchanged a long glance and then Alex looked at his wife. It had been a surprise attack and a brutal one, and would force America’s hand to join the Allied forces in the war. When the final reports came in, three hundred and fifty Japanese planes had executed the attack not only on Pearl Harbor, but five other air stations as well. Two thousand four hundred and three people had been killed, one thousand one hundred and seventy-eight injured, three ships had been destroyed, sixteen damaged, and a hundred and fifty-nine aircraft damaged.

  On December 8, the following day, President Franklin Roosevelt asked Congress for a declaration of war on Japan. The U.S. Congress declared war on Japan and the president signed the resolution. America was finally in the war at last, while Europe had been fighting for more than two years by then.

  They left Tahoe early because the question in everyone’s mind was if the Japanese were going to attack the mainland next, the West Coast specifically. And Alex wanted to get back to the city, although Charles had suggested they stay in Tahoe with them, but Alex and Eleanor both had to work the next day.

  Alex was quiet on the drive home, and said very little when they got back to the apartment. He waited until Eleanor had put the baby to bed. He was waiting for her at the kitchen table, and she had a bad feeling from the look on his face. She had not seen him look quite that serious since the news of Black Tuesday had reached them in Italy on their honeymoon. He didn’t look panicked this time, or scared. But he was certain of what he wanted to do, and that it was the right thing.

  “I’m going to enlist,” he said quietly, with a look of determination.

  “That’s ridiculous. You’re forty-five years old. You don’t have to. And you already served in one war. Why do you need to go this time?” Eleanor looked frightened the moment he said it, as he knew she would.

  “They won’t put me in the front lines. You’re right, I’m too old,” he said with a small, wintry smile. “But I’m an officer. I can volunteer. They can put me in a finance office somewhere, and relieve someone else for active duty. I wouldn’t feel right just staying at home.” He spoke calmly and quietly, sure of what he was doing.

  “What about us? What are we supposed to do now?”

  “What do you want to do? Do you want to stay with your parents in Tahoe?” She shook her head.

  “No, I’d feel trapped there with just the two of
them.” They led a quiet life, and despite his delight over the baby, her father was still depressed. He had never been quite the same after they lost everything. Her mother worked hard to buoy his spirits and distract him, but sometimes even she couldn’t. He still had some very dark moments remembering the past and their enormous losses. And no longer working at a relatively young age hadn’t been good for him. Eleanor knew she needed her own life away from them, or she’d wind up depressed too. Ten years of a bad economy had taken a toll on everyone. “I don’t want to give up my job, I want to stay in the city. I’d rather wait for you here. But I don’t understand why you feel you have to go. I don’t think they’ll draft men your age.”

  “They might, I’m not as over the hill as you seem to think.” He looked faintly insulted, but they both had bigger things to think about, like their daughter, and their future, and the risks for him.

  “What if something happens to you? What happens to us then?” Eleanor asked with tears in her eyes.

  “Nothing will happen to me,” he said confidently. “I was in the infantry last time, but they’re not going to do that with guys my age. I can serve some useful purpose in the military in an office, and support my country, more so than working a menial job at the bank every day. I’m just passing time there. I need to do this, Eleanor. It’s something a man has to do. We’re at war, and I want to defend my country. In a way, I’ll be protecting you and Camille, and everything we believe in and this country stands for.” He sounded so sure about it, and in a way she envied him the ability to act on his beliefs. She couldn’t do that. She had a child to take care of. She couldn’t just march off to war and leave him with an eighteen-month-old baby. But he could, and would be considered a hero for it. In some ways, it didn’t seem fair, not that she wanted to go to war or enlist. And in his shoes, at his age, she wouldn’t have gone off to war, and left a wife and baby at home, so he could be a hero. And she was almost sure that he probably could have avoided the army if he wanted to, but he didn’t. She could see that he couldn’t wait to sign up. In some ways, it seemed selfish to her. The war was the most exciting thing that had happened to him in years and she could see it. His eyes were alive and he was glowing.