My Blue

by Jacobs, Emery

  My mouth drops open to speak, but no words come out. It’s been years since I’ve seen Mrs. Kincaid. The last time I was in the same room with her was several months before Ella left town. When I showed up at Ella’s parents’ house, demanding to know where she had gone, I was met at the door by her father.

  Ella suddenly appears from behind her mother, and my attention moves away from Mrs. Kincaid to her daughter.

  “Leo, hey. I wasn’t expecting you.” She steps around her mom, moving closer to me.

  “I should have called, but I was out running a few errands and thought you might like your favorite.” I lift the bag of greasy burgers and fries, bringing her attention to our lunch.

  “I’m starving. Thank you.” She grabs the bag from my hand and motions for me to follow her. “Mom, you remember Leo, don’t you?” she asks as we walk around Mrs. Kincaid, who’s still standing in the foyer, gripping the doorknob.

  She nods a couple times before closing the door. “Yes, of course I remember Leo. I’m just a little surprised to see him.”

  “Yeah, I noticed,” Ella says, giggling. She looks back at me and mouths, “Sorry,” before reaching for my arm and pulling me into the kitchen. Ella and her mom definitely have a weird relationship.

  “If I’m interrupting, I can leave and come back later,” I mumble in a low voice meant only for Ella’s ears.

  “Don’t be silly. She”—Ella motions toward her mom, who’s following us from the front door, through the den, and into the kitchen— “waited until I got out of the hospital to even show up, so she can wait while we eat lunch.” Ella pulls two plates from the cabinet and sets them on the counter.

  “Are you sure?” I glance over my shoulder at Mrs. Kincaid. “Because I don’t think she wants me here.”

  Ella opens the bag of food and fills each of our plates with a burger and fries. “It doesn’t matter what she wants. I want you here, and that’s all that matters.” She smiles before grabbing a fry from her plate and tossing it into her mouth. “I love greasy, bad-for-me food.” She pushes my plate in front of me.

  “So, Leo, how’s your family doing?” Mrs. Kincaid leans against the kitchen island next to her daughter.

  I’m not in the mood for small talk with a lady who clearly doesn’t like the idea of me being near her daughter. I unwrap my straw and shove it into the opening on the lid covering my chocolate shake before glancing at Ella. She’s smiling, almost to the point of laughter. She knows her mother is full of shit and really doesn’t care about how my family is doing. My eyes bounce from Ella to her mom. “Everybody’s fine.” It’s basically the truth. Other than my mom being sick off and on for the past few years and my sister having a breakdown in between every loser she dates, I’d say we’re doing pretty damn good. It doesn’t matter—Margaret Kincaid doesn’t give a shit about my family. She’s just being polite before she goes for the jugular.

  “That’s good news.” She plasters a fake smile across her face. “I hear your brother’s automotive shop is doing well.”

  Here we go. She’s about to nicely put down my entire family because of what we do for a living. Repairing automobiles—where’s the shame in that? It’s all I’ve ever known, and it puts a roof over my head, food on my table, and cigarettes in my pocket.

  “It is your brother’s place, now that…” Her eyes flit away from me for a few seconds before she returns her focus on me. “Now that your father’s gone?”

  I think she meant it as a question, but I’m not sure. She seems a little off—different. She’s probably always been this way, I just never noticed because I was a kid. Maybe she’s been drinking. I remember Ella talking about how much her mom used to drink when we were in high school. She called her a closet drinker because she never drank at social functions or when they were out to dinner. It was always at home. She didn’t want all her rich friends to know she hid behind a bottle of vodka.

  “It’s our place—Beau, Hannah, and me—but my brother keeps it going.” I take a long pull from my straw. Damn, I’d forgotten how good these shakes are. I reach for a fry and then smile up at Ella, who’s watching me intently. Her eyes are bright and happier. She seems to be doing better now that she’s away from the hospital.

  “I’m sure the three of you are thankful for Emmie Carmichael.” She pulls the stool back and sits down next to Ella. “Your brother knew what he was doing when he married into that family.”

  I stop chewing at her last statement and anger slowly crawls up my spine, because now I know exactly where she’s headed with this conversation. My brother’s wife comes from old money. She’s loaded; plus, she has a successful business of her own.

  “It’s Emmie Matson, and I don’t know what you mean by ‘he knew what he was doing,’ but I guess if you’re talking about marrying for love, I’ll agree.” I push a packet of ketchup in Ella’s direction. “Do you want some ketchup?” My gaze meets hers, and she knows what I’m thinking. It’s just this unspoken language we’ve always shared, and I guess being apart for so many years hasn’t changed it.

  I don’t want to be in the same room with her mother anymore.

  She gives me a half-smile and moves the packet away from my fingers. She grabs my hand and squeezes it.

  “What I meant was—” Mrs. Kincaid only gets out a few words before Ella interrupts her.

  “We’re gonna eat in my bedroom and watch TV.” Ella scoops up her plate and milkshake then gestures to me to do the same.

  “Your bedroom?” Her mom’s gaze lands on me.

  Look, lady, you started this shit, not me, so you need to look somewhere else for help with the uncomfortable situation you’ve created.

  “Yes, my bedroom.” Ella moves toward the long hallway in the back part of the house, and I follow closely behind. “Oh, and we’re going to shut the door.” Ella laughs as she continues moving away from her mother. “And lock it.”

  “Ella!” Mrs. Kincaid calls out, but we’re already in her bedroom with the door shut and locked.

  I set my food on the small table next to her bed, and she does the same.

  “I’m really sorry about that—about her.” Ella falls onto the mattress of the unmade bed she slept in last night.

  I bet those sheets smell like her, vanilla and strawberries.

  “Don’t apologize. She’s your mother and she’s worried about you. Plus, I’m sure she wasn’t expecting me to be standing at your front door when she opened it.”

  Ella moves a pillow out of the way before sitting up and crossing her legs. “You’re probably right. Did you see the look on her face when she realized it was you?”

  “How could I not? She was standing right in front of me, staring at me like she’d seen a ghost.”

  “I guess I didn’t look at her that closely. All I noticed was that she wasn’t acting like her normal self.” Ella reaches for my hand and grabs it, pulling me down onto the bed next to her. “That’s enough talk about my mother.” She looks at me with a smile so big it lights up her whole face.

  I nod before looking around her bedroom. There’s nothing here that even remotely reminds me of Ella Blue, but I guess it’s a rental and she doesn’t have anything with her but clothes.

  “So, you never really told me why you stopped by. I mean, I’m happy you’re here, but I figured you’d be at work all day.” She inches her body closer to mine.

  “Ella.” Her mom’s voice is followed by a couple of impatient knocks on her bedroom door. Damn, her mom treats her like she’s twelve.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ella huffs as she hops up from the bed and makes her way to the door. She jerks it open quickly, and the older woman freezes mid-knock. “What could you possibly want?” Ella asks her mom with an irritated tone.

  “I spoke to your father, and he said he texted you earlier but you didn’t respond.”

  I blow out a breath and push myself up to my feet. I’m not in the mood to deal with this shit today. She’s treating us like we’re still tee
nagers and can’t be trusted to be alone behind a closed door.

  “Yes, and why is the fact that he texted me a while ago so important that you have to interrupt our lunch to tell me now? Don’t you think it could have waited until later?” Ella leans against the door as she waits for her mother’s response.

  My patience grows thin as I stand here watching my day waste away when I could be doing something much more productive, like working.

  “I’m sure it could’ve waited, but I thought you would like to know that his plane just landed, and he’ll be here in about thirty minutes.”

  That’s my cue to leave. I refuse to be anywhere near her father ever again.

  “He’s coming here?” Ella’s voice cracks as the words fall from her mouth. She looks back at me with panic in her eyes.

  I’m sorry, Ella Blue, but I can’t help you with this.

  “I just thought I’d let you know so you wouldn’t be surprised when he arrives.” Her mom walks away without another word.

  Ella slams the door closed before turning to face me. Her eyes are focused on the wall in front of her, and her shoulders are slumped in what looks like defeat.

  I take a few steps in her direction, but she doesn’t budge. What’s going on in that head of hers? Maybe she’s thinking or remembering something that will help her get her life back.

  “Ella Blue,” I whisper as I lean in near her.

  She shakes her head a couple times before tucking a few stands of hair behind her ear.

  “Please don’t be sad. You know I hate to see you upset.” And that’s the truth. Unlike most kids, we rarely fought or disagreed on anything. Then, when we were teenagers and our feelings and emotions were involved, we never fought. I couldn’t stand to see her upset, because with every tear she cried, I felt it, too, somewhere deep inside my chest.

  I lift her chin with a slight touch of my fingers, and she forces herself to smile. It’s not the one that lights up her whole face, but the one she always wore for her parents, especially her dad.

  “You know I’ll stay if you want me to, but I’d rather not. It’s just, your dad…” My heart hammers against my chest at the thought of facing William Kincaid again. The last time I saw him, things didn’t end well, and I’m sure he’s not forgotten the promises he made to me that January morning eight years ago.

  I cup her face with both my hands and rest my forehead against hers. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but letting Ella go again doesn’t feel like an option. I swallow around the lump in my throat. I need her to be okay. I need her to know she has me to lean on, and if me being here when she faces her dad will help, I’ll do it—even though I know I’ll regret it.

  “No. I don’t want you to have to deal with him today. I really didn’t want you to be around my mom, but I had no idea she would be here at the same time you surprised me with lunch.”

  “I should’ve called first.” Dropping by unannounced won’t happen again, especially if her parents are going to be in town for a few days. I need to check and see when they will be leaving.

  She grabs my wrists and her eyebrows draw in. “No, you never have to call before stopping by. I want you here.” She leans in and brushes her lips gently across mine.

  “I’m gonna head out. I need to get back to work anyway.” I slowly pull away from her.

  “Thanks for lunch, and sorry about my mom.” Her voice cracks softly. “And my dad.”

  “Your dad? Why would you apologize about him when he’s not even here?” Yet. My left eye twitches as I clench my jaw, because just the thought of spending any time in the same room with him digs up memories I put behind me long ago.

  “I may have lost my memory over the past few days, but I’m not stupid.” She takes a step in my direction and leans in closer to me. “I know something awful happened between you and my dad. I can feel the tension in the room when I just mention his name.”

  “It was a long time ago and I’d rather not talk about it right now,” I tell her.

  She rises up on her toes, places a soft kiss on my cheek and one on my jawline, and finally kisses the skin just below my ear. “Thank you again for lunch.” Her voice is soft and low as her warm breath massages my neck.

  She rubs her body against me and kisses my neck again. My dick is hard and my hands itch to touch her and hold her. My lips ache to kiss her and taste her. But I can’t. At least not now. It’s too soon. I quickly pull away from her, attempt to catch my breath, and survey the bedroom, giving myself a few seconds to regain my composure before she realizes what she’s done to me.

  “I really need to go…to get back to work.” I shove my hand in the front pocket of my jeans and grab my keys.

  “I’m sorry,” Ella blurts out before I even turn toward the door.

  “Sorry? For what?” My mind runs through all the things she could possibly be sorry for, like hauling ass eight years ago without telling me why she left or where she went, or not contacting me at any point during those eight years, or that she showed up in the small town she grew up in, knowing I would still be here. The best part about this entire fucked-up situation is that I can’t ask her any of those questions because she can’t fucking remember.

  I shake my head a couple times before making eye contact again.

  “I’m sorry for everything—Mom making you feel uncomfortable, whatever my dad did to you eight years ago, leaving you and never coming back, losing my memory, and…” She looks away for a breath before bringing her gaze back to mine. “Loving you.”

  Fuck. How in the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Dammit, Leo, say something.

  “Come here.” I reach for her, and she wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my chest. “Ella Blue, you don’t have anything to be sorry for.” I squeeze her tighter.

  “I just feel like I’m an inconvenience for everybody—my parents, Gracie, and you. I know you have a life, and I’m keeping you from it.”

  It feels so damn good to have her in my arms again.

  “Please don’t use your energy worrying about me. You need to be focusing on yourself right now,” I whisper.

  She pulls away from the hug and steps back. “Thank you for everything. I know you need to get back to work, and I would never ask you to stay and face my dad.”

  Thank fuck, because I’m not in the mood to deal with both of her parents today.

  “How long will they be here?”

  “Not long. They aren’t staying here. Mom says they still have their house here in town, so I’m guessing that’s where they’ll stay tonight, and I’m not sure when they’ll be heading back to Washington.”

  “Washington state or DC?” I ask, curiously.

  “Umm…Mom only said Washington when I asked where they lived, but I think it’s DC.”

  “Oh, I thought after he didn’t get reelected as mayor, he gave up politics.” I’m sure my face has confusion written all over it, but now I’m curious to know what her dad does for a living. Especially if he finds out that Blue and I have been in contact.

  “He’s not in politics. Mom says he invested in a security company and their main office is based out of Washington DC.”

  I nod, taking in every word she says. I have to be very aware of Mr. Kincaid because I don’t trust him. And now that I now he’s in the security business, I’m a little uncomfortable about being around Ella Blue. But being uncomfortable isn’t going to stop me from helping her through this fucked up situation.

  “Why are you worried about where my parents are staying?” she asks, before pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

  My phone vibrates in my back pocket. It’s probably Beau wanting me to get my ass back to work, so I ignore it.

  “I wanted to take you somewhere tonight.”

  Her cheeks redden and it throws me back to before—before I went to jail and she left town, back when she was young, shy, and innocent.

  My phone vibrates again. Dammit!

  “Sorry, give me a second t
o check this. I’m sure it’s Beau. He’s probably ready to go to lunch.”

  “Sure.” She grabs another fry from her plate and pops it in her mouth. Her big, brown eyes look up at me and she smiles.

  I pull out my phone to check my message. It’s Luke, and this is the second time he’s texted me today. I’m still somewhat irritated at him for telling Beau all the shit about Ella Blue, but for some reason I’ve got this sinking feeling that something may be wrong. Otherwise he wouldn’t keep blowing up my phone.

  “It’s Luke.” I open the screen and scan his text quickly.

  Luke: Have you heard from Wade?

  My fingers fly across the screen in response.

  Me: Nope. Not since the night of the concert.

  Now that I think about it, I didn’t see Wade after my car was stolen. I don’t think he even knows anything about it.

  Me: Why? What’s up?

  Luke: Nobody has seen him since last Saturday night at the Bait Shack, and his phone is going straight to voice mail.

  Now I’m worried. Wade never goes without a charged phone. It’s his damn life line.

  Me: Keep me posted.

  Luke: Yep. If you hear from him, let me know.

  I don’t text him back because he knows he’ll be the first person I call if I hear from our best friend. I turn my phone off and cram it back into my pocket.

  “Is everything okay?” Blue asks.

  I shrug. “Not sure. Luke says nobody has seen Wade since the night of your concert.”

  “Is that normal behavior for him?” Her brows are drawn and her smile fades.

  “Sort of. I mean, he may hook up with some chick and be gone for a day or two, but he always has his phone on.”

  “His phone isn’t on?”

  “No. Luke says it goes straight to voice mail.” I don’t admit this to her, but I’m really fucking worried about him.