Only the Beginning: Only You, #4

by Thorpe, Elle

  She sighed. “You think I don’t know he’s the reason you’ve always made me turn down any overseas projects?”

  I shrugged. “I never had Hollywood dreams, Tangie. You knew that when you took me on as a client. Ocean Bay has always been enough for me.”

  “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, B. You’ve been in love with that man for your whole adult life. You didn’t want to leave him.”

  I threw my hands up in the air. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

  I couldn’t deny what she was saying. I had stayed for him. I’d stayed for my mother. But I’d also stayed for myself. I wasn’t lying when I said Ocean Bay had always been enough for me. That was true. I just wanted to act for the pure joy of throwing myself into a role and becoming someone else for those few minutes. I’d never wanted the fame that came along with it. Though I guessed any chance of obscurity was gone now, after the world saw my sex tape.

  “Riley and I are done. For good this time. I need to move on.”

  Tangie spun around, a teaspoon still clutched in her fingers. “Really?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Could you try sounding a little less delighted?”

  She pointed the spoon at me. “Then you can go to LA.” It was a statement, not a question.

  “Why would I want to do that?”

  “Because I haven’t turned down that job offer on the Ridge Leone project.”

  Unbelievable. She was truly the worst manager ever. I opened my mouth to yell, but she cut me off with a wave of her hand.

  “Stop. I already know what you’re going to say. I’m the worst manager ever. I don’t listen. I’m fired. Yadda yadda. Let’s just skip that and get to the bit where you agree to taking the part and I start making phone calls.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  “Tangie!”

  “BB!” she mocked. “Look. You are going to get hounded in this country for that tape. You think that’s going to die down anytime soon? Hell no. This is the biggest scandal to hit the Australian TV in the history of forever. Go to LA where you’re a relative unknown and sex tapes are a dime a dozen. I can have you on a plane tomorrow. Do the movie. It’s four months, tops. Then come back and pick up your role on Ocean Bay.”

  “If I even have a role left to go back to. A sex scandal hardly fits with their dinner time slot,” I said wryly.

  She pinned me with a look. “Have I ever let you down?”

  I shook my head. She was a pain in my ass but she was an A-plus manager. I wouldn’t have had half the opportunities I’d had without her.

  “Then trust me.”

  I tilted my head. I couldn’t deny, the thought of running away and leaving this whole mess behind me was appealing. “Four months.”

  She nodded, shifting her weight from foot to foot, practically dancing on the spot with her building excitement.

  “And then I’m back. And you won’t give me a hard time about doing more movies. Because despite there possibly being some truth in what you said about Riley, movies aren’t where I want to be.”

  She saluted me. “Scout’s honour.”

  I let out a long sigh, but my lips lifted at the corners. “Fine. I’ll do the movie. I’ll go to LA.”

  30

  Bianca

  The LA skyline was undoubtedly beautiful, with the sun sinking behind the city buildings, but I could barely bring myself to care. I closed the glass doors and turned away from the view and back to Tangie. She bustled around the extravagant hotel room the production company had put me in while we shot Back Blade. The schedule had blown out, and we’d been here five months instead of the four I’d been promised, but Tangie had gotten me extended leave from Ocean Bay. She’d assured me the producers were all fine with it. They were excited for the publicity my starring in a big-budget movie would bring their little Australian TV show.

  And I definitely owed them some good press. The show had copped abuse left, right, and centre after the whole sex-on-the-beach scandal. Mobs of people had called for me to be fired, claiming I set a bad example for the teens and young families who watched the show. But the show had steadfastly stood by me and refused to cave. And for that, I owed them everything.

  Tangie pushed a rolling hanger across the white floor tiles to where Bree sat on a stool, her makeup brushes all spread out on the bench behind her. I’d been a complete brat and demanded that the company fly my friend and old makeup artist out here to do my makeup for the awards ceremony tonight. We’d met years ago when she’d briefly dated Jamison in his pre-Elodie days. Then she’d come back into my life as my makeup artist in the early days of Ocean Bay. On my first day, I’d found myself in her makeup chair, and we’d been friends ever since. The movie producers hadn’t even blinked an eye when I’d told them nobody could do my makeup like Bree could. They’d just booked the ticket. I would have liked to have flown Reese and Elodie over, too, but that would have been pushing my luck.

  Truth was, I’d pretty much been a complete brat the entire time I’d been in LA. I’d been a pro on set, because that was my job and I wasn’t going to let anyone down, but I’d spent the rest of my time hiding in my trailer. The other cast members had invited me for drinks on numerous occasions, but I’d turned them down so many times that they’d stopped asking. The film company had offered to rent me an apartment, but I’d refused that, too, insisting that I was fine in the hotel. Deep down, I knew I was scared of putting down any sort of permanent roots.

  I was homesick. I missed Sydney beaches and my job on Ocean Bay. I missed my friends, my parents, my coworkers. Most of all, though, I missed Riley.

  I felt his absence like a gaping wound. Even when we hadn’t been together, I’d never gone five months without seeing him. There was always some event within our mutual friends’ lives that meant we saw each other at least once a month. To go five whole months without speaking to him had only widened the black hole that had opened up in me the day I’d left.

  Bree eyed me curiously, then motioned to come sit in front of her so she could do my makeup. She’d only gotten off the plane a few hours ago and looked tired. Dark circles rimmed her eyes. Shit. I was the worst friend ever. So selfish.

  I let out a long sigh. “I’m so sorry I dragged you all the way here,” I said to her. “I just…God. I don’t know. You don’t even do makeup anymore, but here I am, acting like a total diva and flying you all the way out here.”

  Bree chuckled. “Are you kidding? I’m a bit jetlagged, but a free trip to Hollywood, just to do your makeup? You should be a diva more often.”

  “But Damien and the girls, and your job…”

  She shook her head. “The girls have Damien wrapped around their little fingers. And he’s a terrific dad. He has the fort well and truly held while I’m gone.”

  I could believe that. Bree had done well for herself and come so far from the angry young woman she’d once been. Meeting Damien had mellowed her, and motherhood suited her well. Her twin daughters were blonde-haired rays of sunshine.

  “You want to talk about whatever’s bothering you?” Bree asked, startling me from my thoughts.

  I shook my head. “Later. Let’s just get ready. I haven’t even chosen a dress yet. Want to help me pick? Then you can do my makeup to match.”

  Bree agreed, and I jumped off my chair, heading for the rack of dresses Tangie had abandoned to take a phone call on the balcony. I ran my hand over a sparkling gold number then stripped down to my underwear. I shimmied into the dress and turned around, waiting for Bree to do me up. Then I stood in front of the full-length mirror Tangie had placed in the middle of the room for this exact purpose. Whoa. The dress was something else. My cleavage spilled over the top, and the material clung to my hips, showing off my curves. I turned to the side, smoothing the material over my belly and frowning at the way it pulled taut. I shook my head.

  “Nope. I look pregnant. Definitely not this one.”

  I tugged the dress off and tried on all the others on the rac
k before flopping down on the lounge, still in just my underwear. “Arggghhh!” I yelled as Tangie finally came back in from outside. “Tangie! None of these fit! What am I supposed to wear?”

  Tangie frowned without looking at me. “What do you mean, they don’t fit? You’re like a tiny doll. Everything fits you.”

  I stood, padding over to where the two women stood and gestured at the rack in frustration. “Well, they don’t!”

  Dammit. There I was acting like a brat again. I knew whose fault it was that none of my clothes fit. I’d been stress eating the entire time I’d been here. It was hardly a wonder that I’d put on some weight.

  I glanced from woman to woman, but both stared at me with their mouths hanging open.

  “What?” And then I realised they weren’t just staring at me. They were both staring at my belly. I covered my stomach self-consciously.

  “Can you two stop that? Yes, I’ve put on a bit of weight.”

  Bree and Tangie exchanged a glance then stared back at me.

  “Bianca,” Bree said gently. “Are you pregnant?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Great. If you guys are asking me that, the reporters probably will, too. Especially if I rock up wearing one of those dresses. Tangie, can we get some other choices in time?”

  Tangie shook her head, quiet for the first time in the entire ten years I’d known her. “B. Are you sure you aren’t? You don’t just look like you’ve put on weight. That looks like a baby bump.”

  I turned and studied myself in the mirror. I’d been avoiding them lately, because I had noticed I was putting on weight. But that was only because of the copious amounts of chocolate I was eating every time something made me think of Riley.

  I shook my head. “I can’t be. I haven’t had sex with anyone in months. And I’m on the pill.”

  “Have you had your period lately?”

  I nodded. “Yep.” Though when I thought about it… “They’ve been quite light and irregular, though. Which doesn’t normally happen. I was going to go to the doctor once I got back home to Sydney, but then the schedule got extended… It’s probably just because I’ve been so stressed.”

  Bree crossed the space between us and squeezed my fingers. “Some women still have bleeding throughout their pregnancies…it can be completely normal. Maybe you mistook that for your period?” She gazed down at my rounded belly. “Because that’s a baby bump, Bianca.”

  I dropped my hands, running them over the slight swell, the tight skin. No. It couldn’t be a baby bump. The last time I’d had sex with anybody was with Riley after the awards ceremony…

  “Oh my god.” I gasped. I pushed off the lounge and ran to my bathroom, slamming the door. With a sudden rush, I remembered making love with Riley on the beach. In the hotel. Unprotected. Like we always did because we trusted each other to stay on top of STD tests, and I always took my pill religiously. But then I remembered vomiting the morning after the night on the beach…

  No. I’d done a pregnancy test the first week I’d been here in LA. I’d remembered throwing up my pill and I knew that might have meant my contraception hadn’t worked. I’d taken a test, just to be sure. It had been negative.

  But the way Bree and Tangie had looked at me with such certainty... Tangie didn’t have kids, but Bree did. She’d know, wouldn’t she?

  With my heart in my mouth, I crouched to riffle through the cupboard underneath the bathroom sink and found the two-pack pregnancy test, one already gone. I pulled out the remaining one and held it in trembling fingers before taking it over to the toilet.

  When I was done, I placed the test on the bathroom sink, washed my hands, and sank heavily to the cold floor to wait. Bree and Tangie knocked at the door, Bree asking if I was okay, Tangie calling out that Jerome was here, and we were going to be late. But I couldn’t bring myself to care. Jerome would be pissed. He’d been accompanying me to all my publicity events, just like he always had, pre-Riley. He loved the attention, and I was happy to let him have it. He wouldn’t want to miss the red carpet.

  I focused anywhere but at the test. I forced my gaze over the ceiling, the tiles, the towels I’d hung neatly after my shower…but inevitably, it eventually landed on my belly. I traced the small swell with my fingers.

  I knew before I even picked up the test and saw the two blue lines that it was positive.

  31

  Riley

  Elodie and Jamison’s living room was chaos. Sophie, their toddler, ran around squealing her excitement over having a houseful of new people to play with. Reese and Low sat on the lounge in front of the TV, encouraging her. Elodie kissed the gurgling baby on the cheek and held him up for Jamison to take.

  It was a happy scene. But it did nothing to improve my mood. I leaned on the wall and took a swig from the beer bottle I’d grabbed from the fridge. Shit. I shouldn’t have come to this thing. I should have just sat at home, by myself. Here, I’d have to watch Bianca walk the red carpet with that over-tanned, over-buffed loser she was dating. At least at home I could have nurtured my misery alone. Now I’d have to hide it or be the asshole who brought the whole party down.

  “Riley, come sit!” Reese called, patting the space on the lounge beside her. She’d had a few drinks, and her cheeks were flushed.

  I tilted a beer bottle towards her. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll go start the barbecue.”

  She frowned, but then Elodie squealed over some A-lister who had just appeared on screen, and I took the opportunity to make my exit. Elodie and Jamison’s barbecue sat right by the open door. Plenty close enough that I could still hear the TV and the running commentary from my friends. I clicked on the gas, watching as the flame ignited.

  “You all right, bro?”

  I looked up to see Jamison and Low following me outside. I turned back and fiddled with the dial so I wouldn’t have to face them. I’d known the two of them for so long, they’d know just from the expression on my face that I wasn’t okay. I hadn’t been for months. Not since she’d left.

  I shrugged and tried to force a smile. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “We’re happy to hide out here with you and drink beer all night,” Jamison offered.

  “I’m not hiding.”

  “Yeah, you are. But we get it.”

  I picked up a sausage from the plate beside the barbecue and tossed it onto the grill. It let out a satisfying hiss. “I can’t stand that guy she’s dating. He’s a fucking tool.”

  Low nodded in agreement. “Reese says they’re not dating, though. That he’s just her arm candy.”

  I gave him a withering look. “Does it matter? He’s still going to be all over her.” I shook my head, dumping the whole plate of meat onto the grill, then stabbed at it with a pair of tongs. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t watch his hands on the small of her back, or the way she’d lean into him when the reporters asked them to pose for photos. And he’d pose effortlessly, like some runway model, of course. Nothing like the awkward posing I’d done. He undoubtedly fit into her world better than I did. With his shining white teeth and ease in front of the cameras. The two of them were everywhere. The next IT couple, according to the gossip magazines.

  Our sex scandal long-buried by her moving on with someone else.

  “She’s next! Elodie yelled from the living room.

  “You guys go,” I mumbled. “I’d rather be alone anyway.”

  Jamison and Low exchanged a look, then Low clapped me on the shoulder. “We’ll be back in five. Remember. The meat is already dead. No need to murder it again.”

  I flipped him the bird, and he laughed as they returned to the living room. Bianca had said much the same thing the night of the award show. I took another swig of beer and tried to stop the flood of memories. That night in the limo. Kissing her. Touching her. She’d been mine for such a brief moment, but it was all I’d thought of for the entire time she’d been gone. How could it be over? How could she have just walked away?

  “There she is!” Reese squealed from the livin
g room.

  I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. I didn’t need to watch. I didn’t need another reminder of everything I’d lost. She was on the other side of the world, with another man. Why would I subject myself to watching that?

  Fuck me.

  I yanked open the door and strode across the room. Reese lifted her head when I entered and gave me a small, knowing smile. I ignored her, my gaze focussing in on the flat-screen TV mounted to the wall. And there she was. The woman who owned my heart and soul, taking the hand of that douchebag Jeremy or whatever his stupid name was, and sliding out of a limo. She stood, straightening her dress…

  Elodie gasped. “Is that a…”

  But Elodie’s words drifted away as Bianca’s long blonde hair fell down over her bare shoulders, cleavage spilling from a gold dress. She stared right into a camera, and for half a second, it felt as though she was looking for me.

  “A baby bump!” Reese yelped, snapping me out of my trance.

  What?

  “Holy shit,” Low muttered, then threw a glance at me.

  My brain struggled to keep up.

  “Riley….” Jamison said quietly. His face was full of sympathy.

  “It couldn’t be, could it?” Reese asked, seemingly unaware of my confusion. “She couldn’t be pregnant. She would have told me…”

  Realisation shot me through the heart. Her boobs were definitely bigger. Her hips flared where they hadn’t a few months ago, and when my gaze landed on her belly, my stomach rolled. I knew her body. She was the only woman I’d been with for so damn long, I knew it like the back of my hand. I knew she had a freckle on the underside of her left breast. I knew she had a scar from a childhood accident on her thigh. And I knew that her belly was toned and flat. I knew because I’d run my hands and tongue all over it so many times that the feel of her skin beneath mine was burned into my memory.

  She tried to cover herself with a large purse, but I saw it. And evidently, so did everyone else.