The Housewife Is an Immortal Cultivator

by Catofdreams

  Lei Wu smiled as she knew that this was a difficult one to answer. She only knew that her master was older than her.

  She looked at her opponent, who seemed to fall silent. She felt her victory incoming as Lang Jie let out a sigh, but her confidence quickly waned as Lang Jie let out a confident smile of his own.

  "That's it? I thought it would be harder. I should've expected less…", Lang Jie let out another sigh in order to provoke Lei Wu, which seemed to work. Lei Wu gritted her teeth as she listened to her opponent's taunting.

  "Just answer the question!", Lei Wu impatiently shouted at her opponent.

  "Around 2500-2700 years old!", Lang Jie confidently answered.

  Lei Wu fell back in shock as Lang Jie's answer fit into her criteria of being older than her perfectly. She looked at Xue Yan, who seemed to have a shocked expression, which meant that Lang Jie might've gotten it right. Lang Jie also showed no signs of faltering, which meant that her plan of showing Xue Yan his hesitance when it came to loving an older woman failed.

  "We're not done! Next! Since you're a shorty, you should feel pressured about this. How tall is Xue Yan?!", Lei Wu continued barraging Lang Jie with questions.

  "175 centimeters, 27 millimeters, 37 micrometers, and 18 nanometers tall!"

  "What does Xue Yan's birthmark look like? And where can you find it?"

  "A butterfly! And it's behind her right thigh, just a little bit below her buttocks!"

  "How many exes do you have? And how many does Xue Yan have?"

  "I had none since I was a loser in the past. Xue Yan also has none!"

  "What are Xue Yan's three sizes?"

  Lang Jie approached Lei Wu and whispered the answer to her ear. After all, he didn't want his wife's sizes to be public knowledge.

  As Lei Wu heard the answer, she felt blood pouring from her nose.

  "Wow… if that's true, she sure has gotten a lot sexier compared to back then…", Lei Wu told Lang Jie in response to his answer.

  Lang Jie nodded with a proud look on his face.

  "Of course. My wife is the best, isn't she?", Lang Jie smiled and asked Lei Wu, who nodded in response.

  The two of them seemed to get along for a moment there, but Lei Wu immediately snapped out of it.

  "Y-you! I let my guard down for a bit and you immediately take advantage of it!", Lei Wu jumped backward as she realized that her opponent was not a simple mortal. His threat level significantly rose after showing his capability in answering her questions.

  Xue Yan found the first few questions touching at first. She didn't know that her husband knew a lot about her, so it was quite a nice surprise, but after a while, the two looked like children who were fighting over something petty.

  She sighed as she leaned back on her chair. She decided she would just watch the two fight against each other since it seemed quite fun. Lei Wu and Lang Jie also seemed to be enjoying the competition.

  "Tsk. You might have passed the first round, but I'll take you down on the next challenge!", Lei Wu realized that asking questions wouldn't be enough to beat her opponent, so she had to resort to other means.

  "Bring it on! I'll accept any challenge you throw at me!", Lang Jie confidently responded.

  Lei Wu smiled as she saw how confident Lang Jie was. The next challenge she thought up was one that was of incredibly high difficulty. The challenge needed a lot of stamina and willpower in order to complete, and since Lang Jie was a mortal, Lei Wu thought that he didn't have enough of those.

  Both Xue Yan and Lang Jie were enjoying the challenges, but the next few words that Lei Wu announced made them feel surprised. They completely misinterpreted the meaning of what she was about to say.

  "For the next challenge, I'll be testing out your capability as a man!”

  CHAPTER 29 – “THE HOUSEWIFE’S HUSBAND AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM”

  "Mm… push harder!"

  Lei Wu's sweat fell down to the ground as she felt her strength slowly getting drained. As a cultivator at the Celestial Realm, she felt ashamed that she had to resort to these means against a mere mortal.

  "I... I can't anymore…", Lang Jie was heavily panting as he felt the last bit of his stamina slowly deplete. He's been going at it for a while now, which made him feel incredibly weak.

  "How dare you do this, Lei Wu?! The moment I get there, this Venerable One is going to beat you!"

  Xue Yan's angry voice transmitted through a projection that was made using her qi. Her angry face was also visible on the projection. She watched her husband and another woman shed sweat as they pushed both their bodies to their limits.

  "Urgh… I'm at my limit, Lei Wu!", Lang Jie shouted as loud as he could as he exerted the last bit of his power.

  "Me too… I can't…", Lei Wu felt like she was about to collapse.

  How did the two of them get into this sticky situation? Let's go back a few hours ago, back when Lei Wu had finished with the first phase of her challenge.

  "For the next challenge, I'll bring you along to a Celestial Realm cultivator's tomb!"

  Lei Wu announced the next phase of her challenge. She wanted to bring Lang Jie in order to prove his manliness through conquering a dangerous tomb.

  All of the tombs that high-level cultivators were buried in had almost all of their treasures hidden in them. Although the Celestial Realm was quite a high level, that cultivation level was the minimum requirement for their tomb to be publicly recognized and for their sect to allow their treasure to be buried with them. If a cultivator died before reaching the Celestial Realm, they would be buried in the sect that they trained in, along with their fallen brethren.

  Also, all of the tombs weren't as dangerous as they seemed to be. Anyone would be able to safely traverse through a tomb as long as a cultivator at the same level as the tomb's owner was present, even if he or she was a mortal. Lei Wu was confident to use the tomb to test Lang Jie because of that very reason.

  Xue Yan had a bad feeling about Lei Wu's idea, but as she was about to reject it, Lei Wu turned towards her and gave her a wink, as if to tell her that Lei Wu had a plan in mind. Xue Yan let her greed get to her as she wanted to feel more happiness from watching her husband, so she kept silent and agreed to the idea.

  "I-Isn't that dangerous…? I'm not a cultivator after all…", Lang Jie immediately voiced out his doubts. Although he was willing to do it, his life was still dear to him. He knew the powers that cultivators had, so he felt that cultivators wouldn't let anyone just get into their tombs without any sort of retaliation, even if they were dead.

  "Don't worry. As long as I'm watching over you, you'll be safe.", Lei Wu confidently reassured Lang Jie.

  Xue Yan still felt uneasy about the whole thing, so she also decided to tag along.

  "Me too. I'll make sure no harm will come to you, darling!", Xue Yan joined in reassuring her husband.

  Lei Wu clicked her tongue as she thought that Xue Yan would be a hindrance to her plan. Originally, she planned to traverse the tomb alone with Lang Jie while projecting everything to Xue Yan using her qi. If Xue Yan tagged along with them, everything will be a breeze for Lang Jie since Xue Yan would probably just wipe out all of the traps that a Celestial Realm cultivator painstakingly worked hard to set up. It wouldn't be much of a challenge for Lang Jie if that were to happen.

  As Lang Jie heard his wife's words, he immediately felt confident in facing the situation. After all, he knew that his wife was extremely powerful. Any kind of danger that he couldn't deal with in the tomb could easily be dealt with by his wife since he knew that his wife's power level was way above that of a Celestial Realm cultivator.

  "Okay! Let's do it!", Lang Jie responded.

  Lei Wu sighed as she had no choice but to bring Xue Yan since she couldn't really refuse her. Even if she told her the reason why she wanted to bring Lang Jie alone, she knew that she didn't have the power to contest Xue Yan, so she just decided to let it be.

  "Okay… both of you, come closer.", Lei Wu told the two as she
brought out two talismans from inside her sleeves.

  As Lang Jie was about to step forward, he noticed the tray that was on the table that contained the snacks and the tea he prepared earlier.

  "Ah! Before we go, can I clean up first? Ants might come and gather here while we're gone…", Lang Jie told Lei Wu.

  "Darling! Let me do it! It's my duty as the housewife to keep the house clean!", Xue Yan's housewife switch immediately flipped as Lang Jie's concern about the house's cleanliness reached her. She picked up the tray and made her way to the kitchen.

  The moment Xue Yan stepped foot in the kitchen, Lei Wu had a glint in her eye as she found an opportunity to pursue her original plan.

  She immediately threw one talisman underneath Lang Jie and another one underneath herself. A large circle immediately appeared before them, emitting a light that swallowed both Lei Wu and Lang Jie whole.

  "W-wait!", Lang Jie screamed out of surprise as he was caught off-guard by Lei Wu's sudden move.

  Xue Yan, who heard her husband's frantic scream, immediately noticed what was happening and dropped the tray she was holding. She ran towards them as fast as she could, but she was too late. The light that engulfed both Lei Wu and Lang Jie had already disappeared along with the two.

  Although the speed at which she ran was almost as fast as the speed of light, she still didn't make it. She was a hair's breadth away from removing the talisman underneath Lang Jie. If she had noticed even a millisecond earlier, then she would have made it, but alas, it was just not meant to be.

  As anger and frustration started to surge inside Xue Yan, her housewife alarm started roaring inside her. The tray that she dropped earlier was still falling, so she quickly ran back and caught it before it made a mess.

  She quickly dealt with her housewife duties in order to turn off the alarm inside her. As soon as she finished. The anger and frustration she felt earlier came back. Although Lei Wu was also important to her, she valued Lang Jie far more. What right did Lei Wu have to expose her most important person to danger? And how dare she defy Xue Yan's will?

  She vented her frustration by screaming as loud as she could, which resulted in the ground shaking and the clouds that loomed above her splitting open. The strength and vigor of her scream made it feel like a lion's roar.

  "LEI WU!!!"

  Xue Yan's veins bulged as her anger reached a new peak. She prepared herself to scour every corner of the world to find her husband's location, but as soon as the last echo that resulted from her scream resounded, a flash of light appeared before Xue Yan, revealing Lei Wu and Lang Jie, who were both standing in front of a massive cave.

  "Master. What's up? Did you call my name?", Lei Wu nonchalantly talked to Xue Yan through the screen projected using her qi. On the surface, Lei Wu acted as if she was fine, but underneath, she felt like hiding under a rock as she saw her master's face. She knew that her master wouldn't let this matter go and was scared of how she would be punished, but she had to put on a farce in order to convince Xue Yan that she had the situation under control.

  Lang Jie, who saw the projection that Lei Wu made, immediately made his way towards it and talked to his wife. The reason why Lei Wu was so scared was that, although they were halfway across the world, they were still able to hear Xue Yan's mighty roar. Lang Jie knew that his wife was pissed, so he wanted to talk to her as soon as he could in order to calm her down.

  "H-honey! Hey! Calm down! I'm okay!", Lang Jie told his wife through the screen while moving around in order to prove that he was still healthy.

  The sight of her husband who looked safe and sound immediately calmed down Xue Yan. She began to trace the qi that Lei Wu used to transmit the projection before her. Just a few moments later, she was already able to pinpoint their exact location.

  "Darling, stay there. I'll come as soon as I can!", Xue Yan told her husband who was listening through the projection.

  Lei Wu thought that she had to finish her challenge before Xue Yan arrived. She calculated the time that it would take Xue Yan to arrive at where they were. Even if she used the Fluttering Ghost Steps, it should still take her around ten to fifteen minutes, which should be enough time for the two to clear at least half the tomb.

  Lei Wu knew that she had no more time to waste. She forcefully grabbed Lang Jie by his arm and dragged him in the tomb.

  Xue Yan saw everything happen and started spewing every curse word that existed in every language, including extinct ones. Lei Wu heard everything through the projection and knew that she would probably be dead as soon as Xue Yan arrived, but she was prepared to give her life just to test the man that claimed to love Xue Yan.

  She quickly entered the tomb while dragging Lang Jie, who tried to resist as hard as he could, but there was no way a mortal would be able to resist the strength of a cultivator, especially one that was at Lei Wu's level.

  Inside the cave, a large stone boulder seemed to be blocking a pathway that led further in. The boulder had two symbols inscribed on it. The character for 'power' was inscribed just above another inscription, which was the character for 'hollow'.

  Lei Wu had no time to decipher what it meant. This place was meant to be a testing ground for her disciples to traverse through, so she had no idea what was inside it since she never really cared before. All she knew about it was the location and the cultivation level of the tomb's owner.

  She placed her palm on the boulder and poured her qi into it. The ground shook as the boulder started sinking into the ground, revealing a large entrance that led to darkness.

  Lei Wu ran straight inside while gripping Lang Jie's hand. Lang Jie wanted to complain, but Lei Wu seemed like she really wanted to go through with the challenge. He thought that there was a deeper meaning to her defiance against Xue Yan. After all, no one dared to go against his wife since they were too afraid to face her, yet, Lei Wu willingly did it.

  Lang Jie knew that Lei Wu held a deep affection for her master, so she would never do anything that would break her master's heart. Her determination to prove the man that claims to love her master with all his heart came through to Lang Jie, so he decided to shut his mouth and go along with Lei Wu's plan. He himself felt determined to have Lei Wu accept him as her master's lover.

  The large boulder behind them slowly started to rising up again as they entered the tomb. As the boulder fully blocked the entrance, they two were now engulfed in darkness. The only light source that was present was the projection of Xue Yan, who was still cursing as hard as she could while moving at an absurd speed through the ocean.

  Torches started lighting up one after the other, revealing a pathway. The path was made out of jade tiles, while the walls and the ceiling were made of stone bricks, which signified that they were now indeed inside a cultivator's tomb.

  "From here on out, I'll only be watching you progress through the tomb. If you mess up before master arrives, then it's your loss. Also, if I find that you're trying to buy time, I'll immediately count it as you forfeiting.", Lei Wu explained as loud as she could, trying to make her voice louder than the words that came from Xue Yan's dirty mouth that came through the projection.

  Lang Jie nodded as he understood the conditions that Lei Wu had set. He took a deep breath and gathered his courage. As soon as he felt that he was ready, he started walking into the tomb.

  Lei Wu had to follow him in case his life would be put in danger, but she had to keep her distance in order to give Lang Jie some space to solve the upcoming puzzles and traps that the tomb's owner prepared.

  As soon as Lang Jie was twenty steps ahead of her, she took the first step forward. As the heel of her front foot touched the jade path, she suddenly felt that something was off.

  The projection that she made with her qi immediately disappeared. She also felt her strength being sapped away. She immediately took a step back, but it was already too late. She couldn't feel a single drop of qi flowing through her meridians.

  Lang Jie heard that Lei Wu was scuffling behind him, so
he turned around to see what was going on.

  "Is there anything wrong?", Lang Jie asked Lei Wu out of worry.

  "Don't go any further! I can't feel any of my qi! There's something wrong with this place!", Lei Wu warned Lang Jie. She looked around, trying to find the source of the anomaly that caused the weird phenomenon. As she looked at the large boulder that blocked the entrance, she noticed a small scribbling on the boulder.

  "Note to the Sleeping Fairy Sect's elders: The owner of the tomb isn't a Celestial Realm Cultivator. He apparently broke through to the Divine Realm before dying to the Heavenly Tribulation. He also has an artifact that causes cultivators who enter to turn into mortals. The tomb has already been cleared, and although it is possible to finish it without using qi, it is still very dangerous. Proceed with caution."