The Blurring

by Angela Peach

“Are you kidding? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either!” I admitted.

  “Really?” This time her laugh was nervous. “Look, um, I’d better go. Call me tomorrow, ok? Have a nice night Tris!”

  “Oh, ok. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  I was confused as I hung up. I felt like I was getting conflicting signals from her. Whenever she appeared to imply she liked me as more than just a friend, she seemed to back off when I responded.

  Hell, I didn’t even know myself how I felt.

  I dialled her number and waited with baited breath for her to answer. When she did, she sounded a little more subdued.

  “Hello?”

  “Look, I know I probably shouldn’t say this cos I’m really trashed. But…I really, really miss you. And I really, really like you.”

  She didn’t reply and my face burned.

  “I guess I just wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve done. It all means a lot to me.” What I meant was ‘You mean a lot to me’, but I bit my lip.

  “Um…that’s ok. I really like you too” she said carefully and I cringed. It sounded like I’d come on too strong and she was trying to let me down nicely. I cleared my throat.

  “Ok, so…I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Sure. Bye.”

  She hung up without waiting for a reply, and as I stared at the phone in my hand, I realised something.

  I’d fallen in love with Spencer.

  All of a sudden, I found it hard to breathe.

  “Tris? You takin’ a bath or somethin’? You’ve been ages.”

  I took a deep breath and tried to swallow down the soul destroying rejection from Spencer.

  “Coming back now.”

  I stripped off all my clothes, then went back into the bedroom. His eyes widened when he saw me.

  “Ok, so not complaining!” he remarked, tugging off his own clothes. I got onto the bed and kissed him. We rolled around for a while kissing passionately, but then I sensed he was about to penetrate me and I was far from ready yet.

  “Nick, wait! Go down on me first?” I breathed huskily.

  “Really? I thought you hated that?” he said, surprised.

  “I want it tonight” I insisted.

  “Ok! I’ve wanted to do this for a long time!” He seemed genuinely excited, and as he kissed his way down my body, I thought of the reasons for asking him this. It was true-I’d never liked anyone going down on me and I wanted to prove to myself that I couldn’t be a lesbian because this was what they did, right? The second reason was that I needed lubricating before I had sex with Nick.

  After five minutes, I pulled him back up and let him enter me. The oral foreplay had been as awful as I remembered it to be, and for the first time since getting with Nick, I shamelessly faked my orgasm.

  CHAPTER 9

  The next morning, I rolled over in bed and noticed straight away that things had blurred massively.

  For a start, Nick was not in bed with me. This didn’t bother me as much as when I opened my eyes to see that the bed I was in was not the bed I’d gone to sleep in. It was only a mild reassurance that I was in my own bed at home.

  I gingerly got up, noting that it felt like another scorcher of a day, and wondered what else had changed. I had no idea where my phone was, where Nick was, or what the hell was going on!

  Maybe Nick isn’t in my reality anymore?

  A flood of mixed emotions flooded through me, worryingly relief and happiness being the prominent two. But a quick look around was enough to tell me that I still shared the house with a man, and that man was probably (although not definitely) Nick.

  A knock at the front door froze me to the spot. I couldn’t answer it, not in this state. What if I didn’t recognise the person stood there and it was someone I was close to? The knock came again, more insistent this time, and I realised I was holding my breath. A minute later, I heard my mobile phone ring from the kitchen. I tip toed out to it and when I saw it was Spencer, I answered it quickly.

  “Please tell me it’s you knocking on my door?” I whispered.

  “Yes, it’s me. What’s wrong? Are you ok babe?”

  I hung up and ran to let her in, wondering vaguely if the awkward conversations I could remember had still occurred.

  “Ok, so when I went to bed last night, I was in a hotel in the middle of the Cotswolds. What did I actually do…in this reality?” I asked when the door was closed behind her.

  “Oh my god, they’re getting worse, aren’t they? Well, Nick took you out to that Thai restaurant we went to where you got hideously pissed and made some embarrassing calls to me, some of which were really hard to understand cos you were hammered! I mean, I thought I was drunk, but you were in another league, babe!”

  “So he doesn’t think I’m pregnant?”

  “Oh. Yeah. Sorry, I forgot about that bit!”

  I groaned. Of all things to stay the same!

  “So, how long will it take for you to get ready?”

  “Um, not long, why? Where are we going?”

  “It’s Nick’s big match? He’s got a big football game today and there were rumours that a scout is going to be there” she explained, understanding instantly that this was all new news to me.

  I ran off to get ready, whizzing through the shower in just over ten minutes, and throwing on a small skirt and a tight red vest after emptying half the contents of my wardrobe. My blonde hair hung down around my breasts creating wet patches which I knew would be dry within half an hour, and I decided at the last minute to apply some light eye make-up before re-joining Spencer in the kitchen. I watched her eyes work their way up my legs, pausing at my breasts, then settling on my face.

  “Wow! You look stunning! Is that to try and distract the other team’s attention and make Nick look better?” she asked with raised eyebrows. I blushed, feeling warm and tingly from where her eyes had travelled, but also pleased she thought I looked so good! I smiled stupidly and we left. I didn’t tell her it was all for her-I’d made enough of a fool out of myself already, so as we walked to the car, I made a point of talking about Nick and how much I loved him.

  When I’d finished rambling on and she was able to get a word in, she told me she had a theory about the blurs, and I shut up instantly.

  “This could just be a coincidence, but I think I’ve found a pattern emerging. Your blurs, they only seem to happen when we aren’t together, right? The nights I’ve stayed over with you were the only times things haven’t blurred as far as I can tell, and yesterday I went home at twelve, and since then, you’ve had loads of slips.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked, processing this. She was absolutely right.

  “I don’t know. But they also started when we met, right?”

  “Yes!”

  “And they happen when we’re not with each other?”

  “Yes! And getting worse! More…blurrier” I frowned at the word, wondering if I’d just made it up.

  “Ok. Well in that case, maybe we should go ahead with the hypnotherapy after all.”

  “What? Go back to my psychiatrist? No way!”

  “Your…? Tris, I’m a fully trained hypnotherapist. You asked me on Wednesday if I’d put you under, but I said no because I don’t treat friends. However, I think we should just do it now, if you still want to? Maybe we can get some answers?”

  I was quiet, letting all the new things sink in. Then I sighed and looked out of the window.

  “Oh well. There go my cookery lessons” I muttered. “Yeah, let’s do it. The sooner the better.”

  “After the match? You can come to mine-I have a treatment room?” she said, as if reminding me in case I didn’t know, which I didn’t. As she drove, I checked through the checklist, looking for any other discrepancies. There were a couple more, including that I could now play the guitar and speak French almost fluently. I tried to think of a sentence and couldn’t, so I really hoped no one would test this on me!

  At the pitch, we could
see the game had already started, so we parked up quickly. Spencer grabbed a blanket and small picnic basket from the boot and we jogged over to the side of the field. I hoped no one would notice we were late, and looked around for Alice and Jen who Spencer said were meeting us. When we spotted them, they waved us over and while Spence spread the blanket down, emptying the contents of the basket onto it, I had a quick catch up with my friends. I was too wary, however, of saying anything much in case it was wrong, and after a few minutes of uncomfortable chatter, I excused myself to sit down. I could tell Alice was upset at being snubbed, but it couldn’t be helped. Plus, I was starving and I could see a fruit salad and croissants, making my mouth water.

  About twenty minutes later, I’d satiated my hunger and managed to miss most of the game. Every now and then there’d be some cheers and clapping, but it was such a beautiful day I found myself just leaning back on my elbows and gazing up into the sky. It was such a deep rich blue today, and I found that watching a bird swoop calmly around above us was so much more interesting than a boring football match! I’d never been a fan of the game anyway and got annoyed at all the dirty tackles and ridiculous dives. However, a sudden burst of raucous shouting from everyone around us brought my attention crashing back down and I sat up, joining in with the clapping.

  “Shit! What happened? Did you see?” I asked Spencer in a low voice.

  “Um, no, I didn’t. Sorry” she said, but her voice was quiet and tight. I looked at her, concerned.

  “Hey, are you alright?” I asked, suddenly worried at the seriousness in her face.

  “Yes.” She sighed. “Actually, if you want me to be perfectly honest with you, I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything…because all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you right now” she said, so casually she might have been commenting on the weather. I spun my head round to see if anyone else had heard her remark, but they were all still clapping happily and discussing whatever it was we’d missed on the pitch. As her words sunk in, heat spread through me and my pulse quickened. I looked at her, at a loss for words. She was watching the pitch with a feigned interest, so I did the same, but my heart rate had kicked up to a rhythm that I was sure matched those on the field!

  “Oh!” I managed to spit out eventually, and she turned to look at me again. I could feel her eyes watching me intently.

  “Especially…” she paused and I looked at her, finding it hard to swallow. She was staring at my neck as she raised her hand idly. “…especially your neck.” The tips of her fingers whispered down the side of my neck, and I felt a small explosion between my thighs as I shuddered in delight. She dropped her hand as I dropped my jaw, and we stared at each other in total confusion. I couldn’t think of anything to say, largely because everything that was running through my mind involved pushing her down on the blanket and lying on top of her and kissing her and touching her. Definitely no talking.

  “Oh my god Tris, that was awesome, wasn’t it?” Alice was suddenly there, big and loud and totally unwanted.

  “Incredible!” I enthused, snapping my head round to her. On an impulse, I continued before she could ask anything more. “Ali, I think I might have to go. I don’t feel too well at all.”

  “Hm, you do look pale. Do you want some water?” Spencer asked, genuinely concerned and passing me a bottle. I took it and swigged some as Ali crouched down next to me.

  “Do you think it’s something you ate?” she asked, eyeing the remnants of our breakfast suspiciously.

  “No, I’ve been feeling light headed all morning to be honest. That’s why we were running late. I thought maybe I’d feel better after I’d eaten, but I don’t.”

  “Well, there’s not long left til half time. Are you going to hang around til then and tell Nick you’re going?”

  I pretended to think about it as I sipped more water.

  “I don’t think I can. I just want to lay down in a cold dark room until this passes.”

  “Ok babe. Look, I’ll just tell Jen, then I’ll drive you back-you shouldn’t be driving if you feel that bad.”

  “Actually, it makes more sense if Spencer drives me, seeing as we came in the same car. Would you mind explaining to Nick for me?” I saw a strange look cross Ali’s features.

  “No. Course not. Come and say bye to Jen-you’re ok packing this up Spencer, aren’t you?”

  “Sure.”

  Alice helped me to my feet and led me toward Jen.

  “What’s going on? I mean what’s really going on?” Obviously seeing straight through my fake illness I could tell she wasn’t going to drop this easily, and as I couldn’t very well tell her I was craving some alone time with Spencer to maybe act out some very lesbian fantasies, I had to think of something else.

  “Look, I’ll explain later babe. I can’t tell you right now.”

  “Why the hell not? Is it because of her?” she hissed, gesturing with her head toward Spencer. I could tell she was upset that she was being ditched for my new friend.

  “No! Please Ali, trust me on this one? All I can say is that it’s really important, ok?”

  “That’s not good enough chick” she sighed. “Go home, lay down or whatever. Get whatever it is you’re going to do done, cos I’m coming over this afternoon for a chat. Just us” she said with heavy emphasis on the ‘just’.

  “Ok. What time?”

  “We’re all having a drink in the pub after the match, so let’s say three hours from now at your place?”

  “Ok.”

  I had no idea what I was going to tell her, but I had three hours to think of something. She searched my face then leaned forward and gave me a hug and a kiss.

  “Come on. Say bye to Jen-I’ll talk to Nick.”

  After I’d given my sorry excuses to Jen, I snuck off back to the car with Spencer.

  “Take me to your place. I think you need to hypnotise me now.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I think we need some answers.”

  She started my car and we drove off in silence, neither of us mentioning what had happened between us on the blanket.

  Spencer’s treatment room was beautiful. Immediately upon entering, it had a natural calming effect and the scent of lavender hung lightly in the air. There was a massage table in the centre of the room , and next to the window was an extremely large beanbag and an armchair.

  “Wow! This is amazing!” I enthused as we walked in, but when I turned around I saw she had her back pressed against the door and was looking uncomfortable. I walked back over to her. “What is it?”

  “I don’t understand the way I feel about you, Tristen. I’m so confused.”

  I gave a short dry laugh.

  “I thought I was the one who was supposed to be confused round here!”

  “Don’t laugh at me, I’m serious. I’ve got so many conflicting emotions right now and I’m scared. A part of me wants to never see you again because you scare me. But I know I’m in way too deep now-I know I can’t stay away from you without causing myself pain” her dark eyes searched mine and she licked her lips. “Please…just kiss me?”

  I moved forward slowly until our bodies were almost touching, and I was sure that if I looked down, I’d see sparks crossing between us because I sure as hell could feel them. I could tell Spencer was experiencing the same electrical pull as I was from the way her breathing had quickened to match mine. I hadn’t felt this nervous since…no, I couldn’t remember ever feeling this nervous before! I was petrified!

  I licked my lips and placed my hands lightly on her warm waist, closing the last of the gap between us by pulling us gently together. As I closed my eyes, I had the distinct feeling of falling and there were a few seconds that felt like an eternity. Her breath was warm on my lips and then…

  BOOM!

  It was so soft as our lips made contact, but it felt like two worlds colliding! Neither of us moved for a moment, but then slowly and softly, our mouths got over the initial shock and started moving togethe
r. I’d never experienced anything like this before! It was infinitesimally better than it had been in my dreams! I was glad she was leaning against the door because I was certain we both would have fallen over by now without its support. I felt her hands moving up my back, pulling me closer until our bodies were pressed firmly together and the sensation of her bare thighs against mine was almost too much! Gasping, I brought my hand up behind her head, tangling my fingers gently in her hair, and as I did so, she took the opportunity to tease the tip of her tongue between my open lips. I moaned aloud in pleasure as I tentatively reciprocated with my own, and nearly lost all control when our tongues met. She tasted sweet, like honeydew melon, and oh my word I wanted to eat her! As we explored each other’s mouths, I could feel our legs softly grinding together until my thigh rested between hers and I could feel the heat and wetness from her, as I was sure she could mine which was pushing against her leg. I was on fire, but there was no urgency in our kissing! It was the softest, most beautiful kiss I’d ever had in my life, and I wanted it to go on forever! But then Spencer was breathlessly pulling her mouth away from mine and just as I was about to wrench open my eyes to see why, I felt her lips graze my neck just below my ear. My knees actually shook as my eyes rolled back in my head and little explosions erupted simultaneously around my body! As she lightly licked my neck, following it with breathy kisses, I moaned aloud. God, I wanted her so much right now, it was insane! My short skirt was riding up higher and one of her hands slipped down my back and over the curve of my cheek…and now it was on my thigh, sliding between the cheeks…

  Before I was even aware I was doing it, I pushed myself backwards out of her arms until my lower back hit the massage table, gasping for air and confused. We stared at each other in shock, trying to steady ourselves. Her beautiful tanned face was flushed red and her eyes looked like they were struggling to focus.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  We both apologised at the same time, but she indicated for me to speak first.

  “I don’t think I would have been able to control myself if I hadn’t stopped then" I said, my voice shaking slightly. “And I don’t want to do that until you’ve hypnotised me and we’ve got some answers.”