Love at First Light (Lost Harbor, Alaska Book 6)

by Jennifer Bernard

  Kelsey nodded.

  “And you didn’t contact the police because you were afraid they’d hurt her. They threatened to hurt her.”

  Kelsey nodded some more. Jessica rubbed her back in soothing circles. “That must have been so terrible. Being afraid all the time that something might happen to her. You poor thing.”

  More nods. More convulsive swallowing. “They sent me photos now and then. I saw her grow up that way. I knew she was okay. But then the photos stopped coming last year. They tried to fool me with some old photos, but I could tell she hadn’t grown since the last one. I was so afraid she was gone.”

  “That’s why you stayed here all these years?”

  “No.” She shook her head fiercely. “I stayed because I thought I’d find her eventually. I thought I might be able to rescue her.”

  “Looks like she rescued herself.” On impulse, Ethan pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through to the picture of S.G. that he’d taken at Petal to the Metal. She’d been tossing feed to the chickens, and was addressing a glossy rooster like a teacher scolding a naughty child.

  “That’s her,” Kelsey choked out. “She looks like my mother. Talking to birds. My little magpie.”

  “Oh yes, she says she can talk to all kinds of animals,” Jessica said eagerly. “I confess I do the same thing, but I never expect a response. She can actually communicate with them. She told Nate—he’s the one who found her in the firehouse—that the birds told her to leave the trapper’s cabin.”

  Kelsey struggled to hold back tears. “And that trapper, he’s been arrested?”

  “Yes, but he’s in Texas on preexisting warrants. He’s not saying a damn thing about anything that happened here in Alaska.”

  “No, he won’t. He must have been working with—“ She stopped abruptly. Ethan ground his teeth together. If only she’d trust them, maybe they could actually get somewhere. There had to be something he could say or do.

  Maya shot him a warning glance. Her message was clear: his role in this was over. He’d done his part; he’d found S.G.’s mother. Maggie’s mother. The rest of this situation was in the hands of law enforcement. AKA Police Chief Maya Badger.

  He held his tongue. He didn’t want to get thrown in jail again, after all.

  Jessica gave Kelsey one last comforting pat on the back. “Do you mind if I ask how you want to handle things from here? Do you want to come with us to Lost Harbor?”

  A look of intense longing spread across Kelsey’s face. “More than anything,” she breathed. “But I don’t think I can.”

  “We can make sure no one follows you,” said Maya.

  “That’s…nice of you, but sorry. I can’t be responsible for bringing danger to Maggie’s doorstep. I won’t allow that. It’s better for her if no one makes the connection between us. Except for you all.”

  “Can we tell her we found you?” Jessica asked. “That’s what she wants most. She wasn’t sure her family was even alive.”

  “You can tell her, yes. But make sure she doesn’t come here. It’s not safe for her. Tell her I’ll come to her when I can do so safely.”

  “You know we’re here to help, right?” Maya sounded almost offended that her police expertise wasn’t being called upon. “You got a police chief, a highly rated if overpriced PI, and a crystal-wielding intuitive genius on your side.”

  “Overpriced?” he muttered. Ironic, since he didn’t plan to charge anything.

  “Genius?” Jessica lit up. “Maya, you have forgiven me.”

  “I’m getting there.” Maya kept her focus on Kelsey.

  The woman was wavering, he could tell, but then she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’ve been handling this on my own for fifteen years. It’s a little hard to give that up.”

  If there was one thing Ethan had learned in his time here, it was that Alaskan women were tough. Imagine a teenage girl giving up her baby, then being the target of threats for the next fifteen years. And she was still protecting her child. Truly remarkable. As was her daughter, of course.

  “I understand.” Maya signaled to Ethan and Jessica that it was time to clear out. “Come on, you guys, grab your stuff and let’s hit it. Chopper can’t wait much longer.”

  He remembered that everything was still in their suite, and gestured to Jessica to follow him back upstairs. “Be down in a flash.”

  “Good. I’ll let the Forest Service guys know we’re on our way.”

  As soon as they left the kitchen, Ethan twirled Jessica into his arms and planted a deep kiss on her lips.

  That flustered look on her face was adorable. “What was that for?”

  “Making up for lost time, Tasty Cakes. I didn’t like being apart from you for so long.”

  Her eyes glowed with golden light. “Aww. That sounds almost…romantic, city boy.”

  Romantic? Hell no, that was taking things too far. He had to bring them back to reality. Lighten the moment.

  With a grin, he tweaked a lock of her hair—the same way he used to tease his sister Olivia. “Guess I’m hooked on Japonica.”

  Her smile vanished and she stalked away from him, down the corridor to the stairs that led to the upper floor.

  He wrestled with the urge to go after her and tell her he was hooked on Japonica—but not as a joke. As the real thing.

  But what was the point? They both knew where things stood. The sensible thing was to walk away and move on.

  He slowly followed her up to the suite where their baggage waited. They’d completed their mission. They’d found S.G.’s mother. They were about to get on a helicopter and leave Lost Souls Wilderness, where “strange things happened.” They’d only known each other for a few days, after all. This was the perfect moment to end things between them. That was just common sense.

  So what if a big part of him wanted to say: Screw common sense. Screw logical decision-making. That was what he knew. That was what worked for him. Always had, always would.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Oh hell no. Jessica knew exactly what Ethan was doing. She wasn’t about to fall for his attempt to be flirtatious while he walked away from her. How dare he try it with his “hooked on Japonica” line and his “Tasty Cakes” and his “making up for lost time”—when he wasn’t pulling her hair like a teasing older brother?

  No. He could take his charming act somewhere else. She intended to keep her feet on the ground and her eyes firmly fixed on reality. No more deluding herself with rainbows and flowers and wishful thinking and all the other head-in-the-clouds Team Romance stuff. Boots on the ground. And those boots were going to kick Ethan to the curb before he stomped all over her heart.

  Besides, things started moving fast as soon as they’d grabbed their backpacks and met Maya outside.

  Ethan tried to make small talk with her, but she ignored him. He could find someone else to fool with his beautiful hazel eyes and his sexy forearms. Besides, every time he spoke, some kind of engine noise interrupted him.

  First there were the four-wheelers that brought them to the lodge’s private airstrip. Very loud. Then there was the Forest Service helicopter. Even louder.

  Once they’d landed at Lost Souls Airport, Maya drove them to Trumpeter Lake where Jessica had kept her late lamented float plane. They spent the drive discussing—loudly—how to handle the delivery of the big news to S.G./Maggie.

  They all agreed that Maya would be best suited to tell S.G. about Kelsey. Now that she was back, she would take the reins of the case. That included talking to S.G. and contacting state and federal authorities about the goings-on in Lost Souls.

  By the time Maya dropped them off at Jessica’s car, Ethan had given up on his small talk attempts. They drove in silence back to Sweet Harbor Bakery.

  The awkward silence continued after they’d both exited the car and claimed their backpacks.

  The bakery had already closed for the day, so the lot was largely empty. Judging by the smell of molasses, the staff had made Anadama bread today. The
wheels of the bakery had kept on turning in Jessica’s absence. As if she hadn’t gone on the wildest adventure of her life.

  Ethan broke the silence. “You did well out there,” he said. “Good job. We found what we were looking for.”

  She glanced at him briefly, enough to realize she was still irritated with him. Or maybe she was irritated with herself for getting too attached. “We lost a few things too.”

  Her naïveté. Her inhibitions. Her float plane.

  “Yeah, I’m really sorry about your plane. You can take the cost off my bill. That probably puts you in a negative range, so consider us square. I wasn’t going to charge you anyway.”

  “That’s very generous of you,” she said stiffly. “But I’m more than happy to pay your regular rate.”

  “No need. It was an experience I’ll never forget.”

  Was there a hidden meaning in that statement? She didn’t want to delve too deep, since she knew it would just be more teasing. Nothing had changed. He was still leaving.

  “Thank you. You can have the first shower.”

  An uneasy expression crossed his face. “That’s, uh, kind of you.”

  She allowed herself a smile, remembering the fun of pranking him. “Don’t worry, Old Crow’s probably out fishing. He won’t be back here for another month.”

  “Good to know. Is there anyone else I should be worried about hopping into my shower?” He lifted his eyebrows in invitation.

  Okay, now he was definitely flirting with her. She bit her lip, tempted just for a moment. She still wanted him even though he was about to disappear back to his regular life. That was the problem. She still wanted him. She’d fallen for him, just like the Team Romance sap she was. Sleeping with him again—or showering with him—wouldn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.

  “Just lock the bathroom door and you’ll have no need to worry. Enjoy.”

  She turned away from him and hauled her backpack toward the laundry room at the rear of the building. She might as well throw all her grungy hiking clothes into the wash instead of schlepping them to her room.

  On her way to the laundry room, she noticed a FedEx letter that had been slid under the side door. It must have arrived after the staff had brought the mail inside. She pried it out.

  Through the plastic window of the envelope, she saw that it was another certified letter from Gary. Which meant it was serious and she wouldn’t be able to ignore it—or pretend to ignore it.

  All the buzz of adrenaline and excitement from the trip to Lost Souls drained away. Nothing had changed in her absence; if anything, things had gotten worse. Gary had probably found a way to corner her and make her sell the bakery. He’d sue her and force her to hire a lawyer and…

  One thing at a time. Laundry came first. Then came certified letters from horrible stepfathers.

  The laundry room had been carved out of the space allocated for utilities—water heater, boiler, etc. It had no windows, one washer and one dryer. It was often the warmest spot in the building other than the work area near the stonework oven.

  As soon as she closed the door behind her, she dropped her backpack and stripped off her outer layers of clothing. Hoodie, in the wash. Thermal layer, in the wash. She unloaded everything else from her backpack and dumped it in too. Might as well add the t-shirt she was wearing. And her purple leggings and micro skirt. As soon as she heard the pipes clang, indicating that the shower had turned on, she’d run upstairs in her underwear and grab some clean clothes.

  When she was down to nothing but bra and panties, she hit the start button on the washing machine. And that was the last of her energy.

  A wave of dizziness struck her, as if she’d just plunged off the edge of a cliff and was free falling toward the unknown.

  What now?

  She slumped over the machine, gripping its familiar pistachio surface as it filled with water.

  What now?

  She’d had her adventure. She’d played on Team Sex. She’d stepped way outside her comfort zone. Now she was back to her real life. No more running. She had to make a decision about selling the bakery. Her borrowed time had run out.

  What would she do without Sweet Harbor Bakery? Who was she without it? She’d never gone to college, never traveled outside Alaska, never tried anything other than running this place. She loved it. But was that because it was the only thing she knew? Now that she’d stepped out of her comfort zone once, should she do it again?

  “This is my safe haven,” she said out loud. “I’m stuck to it like a barnacle on a rock.”

  Realizing that she was addressing the laundry detergent, she snapped her mouth shut.

  What about the other side of the coin? If she agreed to the sale, where would she go? What would she do?

  Her breath sped up, heart galloping in her chest until she was practically wheezing. Without Sweet Harbor, she’d be all alone. With no purpose. A barnacle without its shell was nothing—just a translucent little wisp of a creature that drifted with the currents. That would be her. She’d have no home, no anchor, no refuge, no work. Nothing to wake up to in the morning, nothing to plan for at night. And she had to make this decision—no one else.

  Her throat went tight and her vision blurred around the edges. No matter how hard she gulped, she couldn’t get enough air. Her entire life was crumbling around her, as if she was standing on a bluff that was eroding beneath her feet.

  Through the fog of panic, strong arms came around her. “Jessica? Are you okay?”

  Ethan.

  Trembling, she tried to answer, but couldn’t manage it. He turned her around and cradled her head against his chest. She clung to him and let the steady hypnotic beat of his heart whisper to her. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay.

  Finally she was able to get enough air into her lungs to take a normal breath. She eased away from him and glanced up, wondering how much she’d embarrassed herself. Could he tell she’d teared up from sheer panic? His face showed nothing but concern.

  “I’m okay now,” she muttered. “Sorry, I just had a moment there.”

  “Is it me?”

  “No.” A little arrogant for him to think that, no? “Of course not. It’s…everything else. I have to decide what to do about selling this place. I have to deal with my mother and Gary. It’s just…a lot. I got overwhelmed for a minute there.”

  “Understandable. Have you consulted your crystal?”

  She scanned his face closely, but try as she might, she detected no signs of mockery. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  She dropped her gaze to his throat, to the little hairs that curled just above his Henley. His throat might be even sexier than his forearms; his voice came out of it, after all. That husky gravelly baritone always sent shivers down her spine.

  “I’m afraid of what it will tell me,” she admitted. “Whether it says sell or don’t sell, I’m not ready.”

  “Then give yourself more time.”

  She blinked at him to clear away the remaining moisture in her eyes. “But I have to make a decision. I’m terrible at decisions. I have been ever since…since I was eight.”

  “But this is a big one. You don’t have to rush it just because they want you to. Tell them you need more time.”

  That advice was so logical. Such common sense. It brought her a rush of sheer relief. She drew in a long breath, steadying herself.

  “You’re right. It is a big decision. I can make it in my own sweet time. I don’t have to do anything until I’m ready.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I always blame my decision paralysis, but it’s not that, is it? This is a really important decision. It’s a hard one. Not like whether or not to kiss.”

  Her face flamed. Why had she picked that decision to use as an example?

  One corner of his mouth crooked up and he dropped his gaze to her lips. “Best decision ever.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Look at my mouth like that.
We’re not going to kiss.”

  “Okay, I won’t look at your mouth.” Instead, his gaze lowered even farther, to her breasts.”

  She remembered that she was wearing nothing but bra and panties. Just like that, her nipples swelled against the cups of her bra. If he looked farther down her body, he’d probably see that her inner thighs were trembling.

  Oh sweet heavens.

  She could take one more little trip to Team Sex, couldn’t she? Drown her troubles in orgasmic bliss? One more time. The last one. Then she’d say goodbye and not look back.

  “Lock that door,” she told him tightly.

  His eyes flared and he reached back for the door to slide the deadbolt into place. In the meantime, she rested her elbows on the washer and arched her back. The provocative pose made her feel outrageously sexy.

  It did the job; his jaw worked as he brought his body against hers. “God, Jessica. Just one look at you and I want to touch you.”

  “Then do it.” She spread her legs farther apart, then shoved her pelvis against his. She trailed her hand across the skin above her bra. “How about here? Or here?” She tucked her other hand under the upper edge of her panties, headed for her own clit.

  Her teasing had exactly the effect she’d been hoping for—except more so.

  He slid his hands onto her ass and cupped the fleshy globes. Liquid heat seared between her legs. Lust gripped her with a fierceness that shocked her. With an easy motion, he hoisted her onto the washing machine. Its vibrations traveled through her already aroused body. “Oh!” she said, surprised. “Oh.”

  She leaned back, her hands propped behind her on the lid of the washer. It was warm under her thighs.

  He was entirely focused on her panties. “I’m taking these off,” he warned her. “I want to see you, and do all those things I only talked about before.”

  She flashed back on their time in the holding cell, when he’d painted a picture that had sent her into a pulsing dry-humping orgasm. Now they were alone in another tiny room, but here they could do absolutely anything they wanted.

  “Okay.” She squeezed the word through her tight throat, and arched her back for his clever fingers to do their thing. He put his hands on her inner thighs, thumbs reaching inside her panties. The roughness of his palms made her gasp.