Love at First Light (Lost Harbor, Alaska Book 6)

by Jennifer Bernard

  “Ethan,” she moaned.

  “Shh. I’m busy.” His stare drilled down on her sex, amping up her arousal level even more. His thumbs made their way to her sex and slid between her slick folds. She gave a cry and arched back even farther. Waves of tingling pleasure swamped her senses.

  She closed her eyes to give herself fully to the sensations he was teasing from her. Stars spangled her vision and thrills ran up and down her system. The vibrating washing machine gave her no mercy with its steady oblivious rhythm. Oh God, the way he touched her, the friction, the heat, the juice, the intensity. And then something changed. Cool air briefly came across her sex, then wet warmth latched onto it.

  She glanced down to see his head deep in the vee between her legs. Tousled brown hair brushed against her pelvis. He’d pulled down the front of her panties to expose her sex, and was now stroking his tongue against her clit. The surge of sensation made her body tighten like a bow. She wanted to draw her legs together, to clamp him between her thighs. But his hands were still braced on her inner thighs so she couldn’t move.

  Giving in to the pleasure, she relaxed and let him take command with his hard hands and firm mouth. He devoured her as if she was more delicious than her cinnamon buns. He licked her and teased her as if there was no rush at all, as if he could do this all day long. As if right there between her legs was exactly where he wanted to be.

  He set the pace, not her, no matter how her hips twitched and her body writhed. As he worked her with his thumbs and his tongue, she lost all sense of where she was. She could have been on a cloud somewhere, or deep within a cave. This little room with this vibrating machine became the entire world. Nothing else existed. No one else could hear. No one else mattered.

  The orgasm hit her like a steamroller, blasting pleasure all the way through her, from her curling toes to her tingling fingertips. She gripped the edges of the washing machine and rode out wave after wave of ecstasy. Ethan kept pace with her, keeping his tongue right where it was. He didn’t release the pressure until every last speck of bliss had been wrung from her body.

  She sat up, panting with deep ragged breaths, as he straightened. The sight of him running his tongue across his mouth, lapping up her taste, would have made her blush once upon a time. But she was way past that now.

  She slipped off the washing machine with an assist from Ethan. She ran her hand across the gigantic bulge in his pants as she stepped to her backpack. “I have a surprise for you.”

  “Oh yeah?” He adjusted his jeans.

  She bent over her backpack, making a provocative show of it. When she stood up, she held a condom in her hand. It took him a moment to drag his gaze away from her body to notice it. Very satisfying.

  “I grabbed this from the Aurora Lodge. Those billionaires will never miss it.”

  He grinned widely and snatched it from her fingers. “Have I mentioned that I love you?”

  As he bent his head to unzip his pants, she froze in place. How dare he drop another of his flippant flirty comments at a time like this? How dare he toy with her heart like that?

  When she took a step away from him, he glanced up.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She didn’t answer. If he didn’t understand, she wasn’t going to explain it to him.

  Awareness flashed in his eyes. “I…” He closed his mouth. She turned away, ready to put an end to this. The next thing out of his mouth shocked her even more.

  “My God. I said it as a joke but it’s not.”

  She spun around to face him. “What?”

  He wore a stunned expression. “I love you. I do. I know it doesn’t make sense. We don’t make sense. You’re all wrong for me. But there it is. I love you anyway.”

  In her bra and damp panties, as confused as her laundry in the spin cycle, she stood frozen to the ground. She was all wrong for him? But he loved her anyway? What kind of backhanded non-romantic thing was that to say?

  Maybe that would work for Team Sex, but when it came down to it, she was Team Romance all the way.

  Her wash cycle came to an end. She elbowed him aside and flung up the lid. With her arms full of laundry, she pushed past him, then dumped it all in the dryer. Jabbed the start button and headed for the door.

  “Good luck working all that out.”

  “Jessica.” He called after her. “Please, don’t walk away.”

  “It’s the sensible thing to do. We’re all wrong for each other, after all.”

  “You’re really going to go out there in your underwear?” She heard him coming after her, but didn’t look around.

  “This is Lost Harbor. The first time it hits zero degrees the crew at the Olde Salt streaks naked down the boardwalk. I think they can handle a woman in her underwear.”

  She was so furious she didn’t even care if anyone saw her. If she stayed in that little laundry room with Ethan one second longer she might explode.

  “You said the same thing, that we were all wrong for each other,” he pointed out from behind her.

  That was true. She had said that. But she hadn’t loved him at the time.

  Oh dear God. Did she love him now? Was that why she was so outraged right now?

  She shook that notion off and stalked around the corner toward the side door that offered a shortcut to the bakery and the upstairs staircase. “Which is why I’m doing the logical thing and walking away. You should too. It only makes sense.”

  “Maybe sense is overrated.”

  Maybe? Maybe? She was sick of his maybes and his common senses. She flung the door open and charged inside.

  There, on the floor of the bakery, she found herself face to face with perhaps the last people she wanted to see her in her underwear.

  Her mother and Gary.

  Chapter Thirty

  In the short time he’d known Jessica, Ethan had never seen this side of her. It was simultaneously arousing and confusing. But one thing he knew for sure: the part about him loving her was real and he had to make her understand that. He’d never said that to anyone other than family.

  As she stormed into the bakery, he followed after her. He nearly collided with her when she skidded to a stop.

  A fifty-ish woman in an embroidered kaftan top and a burly guy in a camo hat faced off with Jessica.

  “What are you guys doing here?” Jessica demanded. “We’re closed.”

  “Good grief, I started this bakery!” the woman exclaimed. Putting two and two together, Ethan figured she must be Jessica’s mother. “It doesn’t matter if it’s open or closed. It’s my bakery.”

  “No, Mother, it’s mine now. You dumped it on me, remember? Why do I have to remind you of that all the time? It’s mine. Which is why it’s not getting sold unless I say so.”

  “Well, make up your mind! That’s all we’re asking. Oh!” She threw up her hands. “You always were a disaster when it came to decisions. I know you, Japonica. You’re dithering because it’s so hard for you to choose. You’ve always been like this. Remember when you couldn’t decide which college to apply to so you let all the deadlines pass and never went?”

  “I remember that. Yes. But I didn’t go because you left and I had to run the bakery.” Her voice sounded thin and tense.

  “I offered to hire a manager. You took forever to decide and by the time you did, she’d moved on. Remember? And the time you couldn’t decide between cross-country and debate so you missed them both? And the time—”

  “I remember. I remember it all.” Visibly shaking, Jessica clenched her fists by her sides. “Do you remember when you made me choose which parent to live with?”

  Jessica’s mother clucked at her. “Of course kids should have a say. I was giving you a choice.”

  “I was eight. It broke my heart having to choose.” That confession seemed wrenched from Jessica’s soul. “It drove Dad away. Didn’t you care about that?”

  Behind her, Ethan put a steadying hand on her back, just to let her know he was there. She stepped back until hi
s chest was pressed against her. Maybe she was using him as a wall. Whatever she needed, he was there.

  “That was his choice. Why are you blaming me?”

  Jessica’s chest heaved with emotion. “We just met a woman who hasn’t seen her daughter for fifteen years and still she’s doing everything she can to protect her. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. You made me choose between you and Dad. That was a terrible thing to do.”

  “Well.” Her mother shared a look with her husband. He made a little motion with his head. “I always encouraged you to express your feelings. At least I did that right.”

  Jessica’s shoulders stiffened. “Justify it however you want. You shouldn’t have done it. If I struggle with decisions, maybe that’s why.”

  Her mother blinked a few times, as if she couldn’t quite believe this new version of her daughter. “I’m sorry, then. I’m sorry if that hurt you. But now there’s another decision to make, honey, and we can’t just let it hang forever. Gary says there’s a window and we won’t get as much if we wait.”

  Jessica didn’t respond right away. Was the family pressure getting to her? Ethan bent down and murmured in her ear, “Remember what we talked about, Jessica.”

  “Who are you?” Jessica’s mother asked.

  “Must be the lawyer Hutch mentioned,” Gary said.

  “Oh yes, of course.”

  “No.” Jessica finally spoke in a firm tone; she seemed to be standing up to the pressure just fine. “He’s not my lawyer, he’s much more than that. But this isn’t about him. This is about me.” She drew in a long inhale and declared, “I’m ready to make my decision.”

  Ethan squeezed her shoulder before she could do something she couldn’t take back. “Jessica, can I speak to you for a moment?“

  She nodded, and he tugged her back outside the building and closed the door. He stood so she was shielded from any onlookers who might wander by.

  “What are you doing?” he asked her.

  “Announcing my decision.” Color still glowed along the tops of her cheeks. Her chest moved up and down with her fast breaths. He hadn’t seen her so riled up since she’d walked away from him at the lodge.

  He spoke in his most calm and soothing tone. “What about giving yourself some time? You can’t make this decision on pure emotion.”

  “What’s wrong with emotion? Didn’t you just tell me you love me?”

  “Yes, but…” He trailed off, realizing that for the first time in his life, he’d acted from his heart alone when he told her that. And it felt very, very right. “What about consulting your crystal?”

  “I don’t need my crystal. I can do this. Want to know why?”

  “Okay.” She was on some kind of tear he didn’t understand.

  “Because I finally figured out that I can trust myself.” Her eyes blazed with fire. She was magnificent. His heart turned over in his chest and he knew that he would do anything for her. Even abandon all his common sense and take a leap into new, unmapped territory.

  “I can step out of my safety zone,” she continued. “I can do things I haven’t tried before. I can be real. Feet on the ground. Sex on a washing machine.”

  He had to correct her there, because he hadn’t even gotten the condom on before she’d stormed out. “Technically, that hasn’t actually happened yet.”

  “The point is…” She straightened her spine and shoulders. “I can handle my business. I don’t always have to put my shit on the back burner for everyone else. That’s another thing Maya told me, and she was right.”

  “Maya’s a smart woman.”

  “She is. Usually I run to her when I need to make a big decision. But the truth is, our whole trip, I was thinking in the back of my mind about what I want to do about the cruise line offer. I can do this. I got this.”

  “I know you do. I don’t doubt it for a second. You’re spectacular. I believe in you all the way.”

  “You do?”

  “Absolutely.” He noticed goose bumps rising on her arms. The bra-and-panties look, much as he loved it, made it hard to concentrate on the important part—her inner fire.

  He took off his Henley and handed it to her. Underneath he wore a t-shirt saturated with wood smoke. The scent brought their adventures in Lost Souls rushing back. “How about a little extra support while you take on the world?”

  She glanced down her body, as if she’d completely forgotten her half-naked state. “Thank you.” She pulled it over her head. It hung halfway down her legs and didn’t diminish her sexy appeal one bit. “That’s very kind of you.”

  With a much softer expression, she tugged her glorious hair from under the Henley. His heart twisted and he realized that he couldn’t wait another minute to throw himself at her mercy.

  “Jessica, I screwed up before. I’m no good at saying things romantically. I don’t have any practice with it because I’ve never done it. I was talking from the wrong side of my brain. Will you give me another chance?”

  She twisted her mouth to the side, as if unsure. He’d really hurt her with his flippancy, and he hadn’t even realized it. He couldn’t let that stand. He had to make her understand.

  He set his hands on her shoulders and met her gaze, letting his entire heart show in his eyes. “I’m not used to falling in love, Jessica. I’ve never let it happen before. Not even with Charley. It came at me sideways. I’m sorry I ruined it. Will you please give me another shot?”

  “Another shot?”

  “Another shot at telling you that I love you.” Now that he’d said it again, it felt even more real. “I promise I can do it better.”

  She leaned toward him and lifted herself on tiptoe. He bent his head so their lips could meet. Fresh and sweet, the touch of her mouth sent hope rushing into his heart.

  “You’re cute when you grovel,” she whispered against his mouth. “How could I say no?”

  The relief made him sag. He hadn’t ruined everything. He was getting a retake. He planned to blow her away with romance the next time.

  And then she was gone, back into the bakery, and he had to follow her and find out what her future held.

  Because he absolutely intended to be part of that future.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Just as she’d told Ethan, in the back of her mind Jessica had been weighing the pros and cons during the entire trip through Lost Souls Wilderness.

  Now that it was time, her decision came out easily. “I’ll agree to sell the bakery, but only on one condition.”

  “Name it,” Gary said.

  “I want an executive role in the development of whatever they build. A meaningful role, not just for show.”

  Gary was already shaking his head. “That’s not in my power—“

  “Then tell whoever does have the power. It’s not negotiable. I won’t let some non-Lost Harbor-ites come in here and build something that doesn’t suit the town. I know this place and I know the tourists who come here. I know what people are looking for. They’re not after a prefab experience they can get anywhere else. They want something authentic. You go back to these people and tell them that I can be a real asset to their project. I’ll meet with them whenever they like if they want to discuss it further. If they’re not interested, I’m happy to walk away from their offer.”

  Her mother scrunched up her face. “I don’t know, honey. You don’t have a head for business.”

  “Haven’t I been running this business for the last decade? Stop telling me what I’m bad at. Stop telling me who I am. This is my decision, and I’m not changing it. That’s my offer, Gary.” She turned to him, Ethan’s Henley swinging around her legs. It gave her an extra layer of confidence, she had to admit. “You can try some kind of lawsuit or whatever to change the terms of the contract, but this is much easier. One of my best friends is a total shark of a lawyer when she’s not harvesting peonies, and Ethan is a fantastic private investigator. I’m not afraid of your shenanigans.”

  He grunted as he absorbed
her seriousness.

  “Shenanigans?” Her mother bristled. “We wouldn’t—“

  “Process servers, intimidation, big dudes with hairy eyebrows, anything along those lines. It’s just a waste of time and money. The best way to get this deal done quickly is to accept my terms.” She crossed her arms over her chest, more than ready to be done with this conversation. “After all, I’m perfectly content staying here in my bubble. Such a lovely little spot by the beach. Have you seen the wild roses?”

  Her mother surveyed her with a look of speculation. “Are you really? Content here? I’m starting to wonder.”

  “You bet I am. Especially now that I have this guy.” She reached behind her and grabbed the neck of Ethan’s t-shirt. She pulled him toward her. At first his body language registered surprise, but then he caught her drift. When she turned her head to the side, he was there. Their lips met in a passionate kiss. “I love you too,” she whispered into his mouth.

  With a start, he deepened the kiss. A sense of perfect rightness came over her. She hadn’t meant to say that to him. She hadn’t even known for sure that it was true. But now that she’d said it, it felt like the truest thing ever.

  She was a Team Romance girl to the core, after all.

  Her mother cleared her throat. Jessica ignored the sound. Gary said something along the lines of, I’ll let you know what they say. She ignored that too. Then her mother added a question about what shenanigans she was talking about.

  Jessica tuned it all out.

  After all, Mother and Gary were the ones who had crashed her sex-turned-argument-turned-romantic moment. Next time, maybe they’d call first.

  As she and Ethan continued to kiss, she turned to face him and fully abandoned herself to his embrace. Her mother and Gary muttered their goodbyes and departed through the front entrance.

  And still she and Ethan kissed.

  Of course she had no idea what any of this meant in terms of a future. He didn’t live in Lost Harbor, and if Prince Cruise Lines accepted her terms, she’d be staying here. But luckily, she didn’t have to decide all that right now. They’d figure it out together. Or they’d argue about it and then use the argument as foreplay and hash it out in bed. If none of that worked, they could always call on her crystal—together. It hadn’t led them wrong so far.