Mercy

by Debra Anastasia

  “What are you confessing to me?” Off-balance. He was a little off-balance. I knew this. I wanted to believe he teetered in my favor, but people can be broken. And they could cut you on the shards of their toxicity.

  “That I’ve only had so much. I’ve only been given so much by people. By women. I have unrealistic expectations for you.” He looked away, maybe regret washing over his inked face.

  “What are your expectations of me?” This was a hell of a conversation to have so soon. But somehow I knew he was a part of me.

  He was silent for a while. Instead of answering, he touched different parts of my body that he seemed to fancy. My cheek. My neck. My lips. My shoulders. My hips.

  “That you’ll let me stay near you.” He was looking at his hands now.

  It was such a simple request. A stunningly simple request.

  “You can stay near me.” I touched his face, putting my palms along his jaw.

  He stepped away from me and my touch. “You don’t know what you’re saying. You should have all the facts about me.”

  I folded my arms in front of me. “I don’t need facts to know who you are. I know you.”

  He walked away from me and looked out the window. He put the pad of his thumb between his teeth and started biting down on it.

  “Hey, did I do something wrong here?” I didn’t know why there was such a change in him all the sudden. Had I said something to make him distance himself?

  “You deserve to know what you’re dealing with. What you’re getting into with me.” He didn’t turn away from the beautiful view from his bedroom window.

  I walked to his door and made sure it was locked. I started stripping his clothes from my body. I didn’t want to know what it was he was into. I was scared of the change too. Reality was coming for us both. But not yet. Soon. I tossed his T-shirt onto the floor.

  He turned at the soft sound it made. “Becca.”

  Was he using my name as an admonishment?

  After kicking off the borrowed sneakers, I nudged his sweatpants over my hips and stepped out of them.

  “Becca,” he said.

  He was intimidating. I was naked.

  “This is what you’re dealing with right now, Nix. What are you going to do about it?” I gestured to my body.

  It wasn’t fair. And it was bold. I watched his nostrils flare like a bull about to charge.

  He held his own fist and wiggled his fingers, making the joints snap. “What if protecting you means leaving you alone?”

  He was scanning my body while he made his observation. His gaze was like a touch.

  “What makes you assume I want to be safe?” I was at his mercy now—rejection was his to apply.

  He took his shirt and hoodie off in one swipe. I was relieved he was abandoning the conversation as quickly as he was divesting himself of his clothes. His jeans were undone by the time he wrapped his arms around me.

  The kiss he gave me was as desperate as I needed it to be. His tongue touched my mouth and I opened it for him. With his hand between my legs, I gave in to his need. I felt his back, bumpy with scars, and slid my hands around to his ribs.

  “You deserve to be safe,” he rasped.

  I had to piece the sentence together through his kisses and nips.

  Stopping him with my hand over his mouth, I waited until he could focus on me.

  “I want to be the good thing that happens to you.” I lifted my hand when I was sure he heard me.

  His hand between my legs stilled. I rocked against his fingers, missing the friction.

  “Okay.” He inhaled.

  I smiled.

  “You looking at me like that…” He removed his hand and grabbed both of my wrists—holding them behind my back with one hand. “…is enough.”

  I leaned backwards as his mouth found my breast. I felt him drag his other hand down my chest until he splayed it on my stomach. I was begging him again. I spread my legs wider. His hand dipped lower until he could test my ability to remain standing while he explored me. His thumb grazed my clit over and over and all I could do was moan. Then he enticed me with his index finger. He bit my nipple gently, switching the sensations there from pleasure to pain. Between his thumb and his index finger, I was losing my balance. I looked down at him. The skull sucking on my right breast tilted a bit and I could see his other hand going to work. He added another finger when he saw I was watching. His pace increased. The veins in his forearm were pronounced. Eventually, I could barely see the motion. He was speed and talent. He added another finger and I could hear how wet I was for him.

  I would’ve said something, but I was too far gone. His lips went from my breast back to my mouth. He wouldn’t let me have my hands.

  “I won’t stop until you…”

  My vision went blurry with the orgasm before he could finish the sentence.

  He dropped to his knees, letting me have my hands to catch my balance. I could only use his head, because he was tonguing me where the sensations were the strongest. His fingers were slower, deeper, and I could’ve sworn he added another. My throat was raw from the shouts he was forcing out of me.

  He was still wearing his jeans, and I was boneless.

  When he stood, it was clear he was nowhere near satisfied. Nix bent low and tossed me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. I expected him to drop me onto his bed. I was ready for that. Instead, he walked us to the full-length mirror mounted on his closet door. He positioned himself so he could see my ass draped over his shoulder.

  I watched from behind his shoulder as he ran his hand over me. He turned his head and kissed the top of my outer thigh. Then he licked it. Then he bit it until I squealed about it. He was mesmerized, watching his hand as he groped me.

  In the daylight, I felt exposed. He parted me and inserted his fingers again. I gasped. He watched as he fingered me, his smile growing with every pump. He used his pinkie this time to graze my clit. It was like a live wire. He stopped touching me to push his jeans the rest of the way off his hips and over his hard dick.

  “Please,” I uttered the word like it was his name.

  Instead of letting me have it, he started stroking himself. He angled himself so he could see my face and then between my legs.

  “Please.” It sounded like a demand now.

  He flipped me off his shoulder like I was nothing. Like he could have stood there all damn day.

  “Grab your ankles.” He was every bit of the menacing skeleton as he ordered me darkly. I did what he said. He adjusted me so we were sideways in the mirror. I could see as well as he could.

  He took to one knee and started licking me again. He was going to kill me and I told him so.

  “Stay here.”

  And then the fingers again to ready me, I was guessing. Because he was a lot to take, even as turned on as I was.

  When I finally got all of him, I groaned his name.

  “Fuck yes. Say it again. Say it the whole time.” He started moving for his own satisfaction.

  He was hitting the perfect spot inside me with every stroke. His balls slapped forward and hit my clit, the sensations worked to my advantage. I turned my head and watched him. All of his muscles were tense. His sex face was a mix of pleasure and agony, with a bit of an Elvis lip.

  It was happening again. It was building again. I crossed my ankles because I knew it would make things even tighter for him.

  I was right. His tempo increased and the veins in his neck stood out as his fingers dug into my hips.

  I pinched my own nipple and watched his reaction in the mirror when he noticed.

  “Fuck. Becca.”

  And then he came. I uncrossed my legs and rocked back on him when he was still as a statue, hissing my name. Eventually, he had to stop me. He staggered away.

  I took the opportunity to go to my knees in front of him. I had one more gift for him. I started to lick his dick clean. At first he seemed to want to stop me, but he was still coming a little. I swallowed it for him.<
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  His curses intensified. I rocked back on my heels, licking my lips as I looked up at him.

  Nix landed on his knees, pulling my head to his chest. “Holy shit.”

  We tumbled together on the carpet, tangling with each other.

  I was crazy about his ink. I loved his taste. I wanted to stay right where we were forever.

  ~Fenix~

  My brain was straight static. Just amazing sex and pussy and Becca and static. I pulled her closer as I tried to catch my damn breath.

  My eyes rolled up into my head as my dick twitched again. She’d done things to it—that damn. I may always see her mouth wrapped around my dick when I looked at it.

  Coming that hard should be illegal. It probably would’ve killed me if I weren’t in good shape. I looked at her. Her face was buried in my neck. I was spent, but her body was ridiculous enough that my dick wanted a defibrillator.

  Her breasts were the perfect size. More than a handful. Her nipples were the prettiest damn pink I’d ever seen. Her waist was small, and her stomach had a little plump to it. Her ass was the most exquisite apple shape. Her thighs were perfection. Even her hands were lovely. A face like hers, combined with skin this soft, was the kind of beautiful that would make men fight wars. Fight like animals. She nuzzled lower on my chest. Her lashes fanned out over her cheek like a friggin’ painting.

  She opened her eyes and looked at me. She didn’t wince with regret. Instead, she smiled like I was a welcome sight. I kissed her forehead to give my mouth something to do instead of telling her how much I loved her. I kept my lips pressed there as the urge to do push-ups to show her I was strong passed. I bit those traitorous things because they wanted to promise her the world. Tell her that I’d had so little love in my life that I didn’t know how to do it right. I couldn’t figure out how to be reasonable with it. There was a proper way to love a woman, and there was how I felt about her.

  Too much. I had a room downstairs filled with boxes with her name on them. I knew what her favorite pajamas were because I’d watched her in them so often. My father was here to hurt her—somewhere. And that brought the guilt. Because if she’d kept to herself that day in the grocery store, my father would’ve taken me home and killed me. Becca would remain untouched by this world I’d brought to her doorstep.

  And yet. And yet the selfish part of me wanted her here. My heart surged in my chest. It warmed my whole body down to my toes. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed.

  I sighed and she peeked up at me, propping on her elbow. “That was…”

  I laughed. It was suddenly hilarious to try to put a name to what we’d just done to each other.

  She laughed with me. I ran one hand through my hair, and she took the opportunity to push onto her stomach. I could see her marvelous ass, but I missed her tits and pussy immediately.

  She moved her hair away from her forehead before considering me. “Don’t say anything that’ll change this.”

  I snapped my jaws together. I decided right then that we would ignore the world today. Maybe watch a movie. Take advantage of that big bathtub. Maybe she’d let me take pictures of her naked body. I flashed to the mental picture I had of her draped naked over my shoulder. It had been a very male pleasure. I wanted to do things to her that weren’t even legal.

  A knock on my bedroom door made me shake my head. Animal would never interrupt this. Unless…

  I rolled away from Becca and stood.

  “No. How about no? I’m a big fan of no.” She refused to take the hand I offered to help her off the floor.

  She rolled onto her back and stomped her feet.

  She was naked on my floor and mad that I was leaving.

  “This better be good!” I hollered in the direction of my door.

  I reluctantly stepped into my jeans when Animal knocked again. I grabbed the blanket off my bed and placed it over her. She shoved it down to her waist and stuck her tongue out. Like an angry girlfriend. Like my angry girlfriend. It made me grin at her. I tucked the blanket over her tits after I kissed each one. “Keep these covered. No one gets them but me.”

  She wrinkled her nose, but didn’t look too mad anymore. As if I’d charmed her.

  This was the best day of my life.

  I stepped over her and went to the door. I shimmed out and shut it behind me.

  Animal looked me up and down. “Brother, I am so, so sorry. You smell like sweat and sex, and you had to know it was bad for me to do this.”

  I put my hands into the pockets of my jeans, straightening them out. All of a sudden I was on. He knew I’d been going at it with Basement Girl. Something bad had to have happened.

  “Which asshole?”

  It was either Feybi or…

  Animal whispered, “Your father. He’s downstairs.”

  “Oh, that motherfucker. Of all the fucking days. I’m going to put his head on a goddamn pike at the end of my driveway.” I was raging.

  Animal made huge eyes at me and put his index finger to his lips. “Baby, you got your honey in there.” He pointed at the door behind me.

  I put my hand to my forehead and massaged. All these years I wanted this man. I wanted to face him. But not today. Today I had love. Not hate.

  Of fucking course, he would be here.

  “What does he want?” I knew Animal would extract at least some information. “Do you have him tied up?”

  “No, he’s in the living room. He’s got a message.” Animal looked over his shoulder.

  I lifted my eyebrows.

  “He says he’s got a message from Feybi.” He hitched his thumb in the direction of the living room.

  I knew my nostrils were flaring as I considered all the options. “I can’t even think clearly right now.”

  I didn’t have to tell Animal why this was complicated. I had Becca here. It was impossible to kill my father with her in the house. I’d never do that to her. Wistful images danced in my mind of the day I’d planned with her.

  “Listen. Let your girl get dressed. I’ll stay in here with her. Then, after you talk to your father, you can go back to…” He trailed off.

  It was impossible, but I loved him for trying to save this day for me. “You got a visual on him?”

  Animal shook his head like I was asking him the most obvious question. He took out his phone and showed me the live footage of my father walking around in my living room like a junkie looking for a fix. He was in every nightmare I had. He was always so much bigger in them. He looked puny next to my couch.

  “He’s locked in. If he attempts to leave the living room, we get the alarms. He’s not armed, but he does have a wire. I patted him down.” Animal took back his phone.

  I rubbed my jaw over and over. I wanted to take Becca and Animal out the window of my bedroom and burn the house down around my mother’s murderer. I grabbed my skull and punched on it with my fingers until it hurt.

  As if he could read my mind, Animal shot down my scenario. “Feybi’s on the end of that wire. He wants to frame the fuck out of you, my friend.” Animal grabbed my bare shoulder. “You got to outthink them all. And that’s easy. We’ve been preparing for this since you were thirteen. Just tell me what you want to do.”

  “I need you to take Becca to her place and stay with her until you get the all clear.” I shook out my arms and rolled my head on my neck.

  “I don’t want to leave you alone with this.” Animal looked adamant.

  “I have to handle him alone. He’s my problem.” I looked at the ink on my chest. I didn’t have to cover the names. He already knew them.

  “No, I’m with you.” Animal folded his arms stubbornly over his chest.

  My brain scrambled for a second. Seeing my mother die in front of me over and over. I waited until the chaos subsided. Then I was focused. I didn’t get to pick the day I dealt with the devil. It would be today. But I wasn’t scared of him anymore. As long as I was sure Becca was safe, I could handle it.

  “Feybi is suspicious about Becca
. This could all be a setup to get to her. Distract me and shit. He doesn’t get to see her. He doesn’t get to intimidate her.” I pointed at the living room, then grabbed Animal’s shoulder like he had mine. “Just keep her alive. Away from all of them. You know how I am about her.”

  He patted my hand. “I know, sweetness. I got you. I’ll get her out of here. I’ll send you a text when we’re clear.”

  “Thank you. Honestly.” It was deeper than we could get into—how much this man meant to me.

  I opened the door slowly, and in the time it took me to talk to Animal, Becca had gotten dressed in another selection of my clothes. Her hair was tucked up into a bun again. The room still smelled like sex. My balls mourned the loss they were about to endure.

  “You need me to go,” she offered.

  I nodded.

  Animal stepped into the room when I waved that it was all clear.

  “I can take myself home.” She was closing herself off from me.

  I walked close enough to her to whisper. I took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Animal’s going to help you get home. Because you don’t have your car, you know.”

  She complied. “Fine. That’s fine.”

  After pulling her hand out of my grasp, she started to step around me. Animal held up a hand in a sheepish way. He left the explaining up to me.

  “I have someone to meet in the living room. You have to go out the back.” I led her into the closet and swept aside my suits. I entered the required code and swung open the door that was normally hidden. Her eyes were wide with surprise. Animal excused himself and stepped through first, grabbing weapons from the wall just inside. They would take a small hallway to the set of back steps.

  “Are you going to be okay?” She seemed more worried than angry all at once.

  I inclined my head.

  “Why do I have the creepy-crawlies all of a sudden?” Becca tucked a flyaway hair behind her ear.

  I leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I’m tougher than anything else. No worries. Stay close to Animal. I’ll get in touch as soon as I can.”

  She sighed. As she tried to do what I told her, I stopped her by grabbing her arm. She looked at me hopefully.

  “You made me real last night and today. All this time—I wasn’t real.”