Sanctum (Blackwater Pack Book 1)

by Hannah McBride

  His eyes slid shut and he ducked his head, breathing deeply for a minute. He looked back at Larkin. "We need to report this."

  Her eyes went pitifully wide. "No. I just want to forget this ever happened. Besides - it's his word against mine."

  "But I saw him leaving," I reminded her. "I can tell the teachers what I saw."

  "You saw him leaving," Larkin pushed, shaking her head. "He'll just say I asked him to meet me there. It will be his word against mine, and there's no proof."

  "Look at your face," Katy said, eyes flashing. "Hell, you have bruises all over you!"

  "What?" Rhodes looked alarmed, his dark eyes moving over Larkin as if he could see through her clothes to her injuries.

  "I just want to forget this happened," Larkin said woodenly. "Please don't make me."

  "No one's going to make you do anything," Remy assured her. He came and knelt in front of her on the floor. "But are you sure? We all believe you. Others will, too."

  "And others won't," she said stubbornly. "Things are already tense with the Norwood pack-"

  "Whatever is happening between the packs doesn't change what happened to you," Remy said firmly. "We're not going to sit on this just to keep from causing waves. Everyone would go to bat for you, Larkin. You're part of Blackwater. We all have your back no matter what."

  "Thank you," she whispered, genuinely grateful for his support. She wiped her eyes. “But I still would rather not report it."

  A muscle in Remy's jaw ticked. "Okay. But I'm going to talk to Trace."

  "No-"

  Remy shook his head. "I can't let this go. He hurt a member of my pack. You don't have to report him to the school, but I won't let him touch you again. "

  I shivered at how dark his tone was.

  "But-"

  "I'm sorry, Larkin," he told her kindly, but firmly. "It's my decision as the alpha on campus for our pack. I can't just let this go. Not when it risks your safety and the safety of other pack members. I'll handle it as discreetly as I can, but it will be handled."

  Her lower lip trembled but she finally nodded, and then looked at Katy and me. "Can we go, please?"

  I looked at Remy, who gave a reluctant nod. I didn't envy his position at all. He looked miserable and angry all at once. The urge to hug him was strong as I got up beside Larkin and Katy, but I forced myself not to.

  "Lark," Rhodes called when we almost made it to the door, his voice tortured.

  Larkin turned.

  Rhodes sighed, looking helpless. "I'm here if you need me."

  She nodded and followed Katy outside. I hesitated in the doorway, my eyes finding Remy's again.

  My wolf protested, my chest aching as she struggled with my decision to leave our mate behind.

  Squaring my shoulders, I followed the girls into the night, closing the door on Remy.

  22

  Larkin closed the door behind us as we walked back into our room and immediately went to her bed, climbing up on it and laying on her side. She drew her legs up almost to her chin, looking at us with big brown eyes full of pain. Katy climbed onto my bed and I joined her, both of us leaning against the wall to watch Larkin.

  "I'm all right," Larkin whispered with a small sniffle.

  "Sure you are," Katy agreed. She got off my bed and walked to Larkin's, unfolding a blanket from the bottom and tucking it around Larkin's frame before returning.

  "Thanks."

  "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked. "I mean, trust me, I understand if you don't."

  Larkin sighed, her fingers curling around the edge of the blanket. "I just feel so stupid."

  "Don't do that," Katy begged, shaking her head. "Don't blame yourself for what he did. Girls always blame themselves for being victimized. You did nothing wrong."

  "Maybe if I had said something sooner-"

  "Katy's right," I agreed firmly, cutting her off from trying to shoulder any blame. "I don't care if you told us or a teacher or even Remy a month ago. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Trace is the one who did this."

  "Yeah, but it's my word against his," Larkin whispered, tucking the blanket around her neck. "They can't do anything."

  "Remy will figure something out," Katy promised. "He won't let this go, and he won't let anything else happen to you."

  Larkin nodded. "Yeah. But he seemed a little ... off tonight."

  "Off?" The word came out strangled, and I coughed to cover it.

  Katy frowned. "Yeah, he seemed distracted." She looked at me. "Did anything happen after he came to find you?"

  I shrugged, but I couldn’t meet their gazes. "No. I don't think so."

  Larkin's brown eyes blinked at me. "You've been acting weird, too. I mean, you practically jumped out of your skin when Remy touched you."

  Katy looked at me, her dark eyes narrowed. Her jaw dropped after a second of inspecting me. "Did you hook up with my brother?"

  "What?" I yelped, eyes wide. "No! Definitely not."

  "You like him?" Katy pressed.

  "No, I don't like him," I retorted, but it sounded weak to me. Even as I said it, the words tasted bad in my mouth, and I got the distinct impression my wolf was annoyed with me for answering like that.

  "It's because of me, isn't it?" Larkin said with a watery sigh. Katy and I turned to see she was crying again.

  My heart twisted. "Lark-"

  "What happened to me is making you think of what happened to you all over, isn't it?" Larkin went on. The tip of her nose was bright red against the white of the blanket. "It's why you took off like that and had to shift. I'm bringing back all those shitty memories of when you lived with your old pack."

  "Lark, this is not on you," I whispered, running a hand through my dark hair. I got off the bed and walked to the window, staring out at the darkness. "Something did happen tonight. With Remy. I'm trying to sort it out."

  "What happened?" Katy asked suspiciously.

  I leaned against the wall and sighed. "He found me in the woods and it was ... nice. He calmed me down. But when he shifted-"

  I couldn’t seem to find the words I wanted to say. It was so surreal. If it wasn’t for the fact that my wolf was still mentally raging against me for leaving Remy at the cabin, I would probably have thought that I had dreamed what happened in the clearing.

  Because there was just no way that we were ...

  "And then what?" Larkin pressed.

  I took a deep breath. "I don't know. It was weird. He looked at me and it was like there was an earthquake or something. And then I could hear his thoughts, and this one word kept chanting in my head."

  "Mate," Larkin whispered. I turned at the awe in her voice.

  I swallowed. "Yeah."

  "Holy fucking shit." Katy covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes huge. "You two bonded?"

  I flinched, my defenses immediately going up. "It just happened. One minute he was Remy and the next minute he was … more than just Remy. I didn't ask for this, okay?”

  Katy started to laugh. "Well of course you didn't ask for it - that's not how true mate bonds work. It simply is. You guys are so young for this to happen! That's just crazy that the first time your wolves saw each other-"

  "What does it feel like?" Larkin pressed, cutting her off as she sat up. Her eyes were bright again, curious.

  I shrugged, hands splayed wide. "I don't know, it's like-"

  "If this is the part where you tell me you're hot for my brother, I need to exit the conversation," Katy warned.

  I felt my cheeks heat and I ducked my head, letting my hair cover my face. "Of course I don’t."

  Lie.

  "So, you don't think he's hot?" Larkin asked.

  I groaned, my mind bringing up the image of him pulling off his shirt in the clearing. "I didn't say that."

  "Ew!' Katy grimaced, waving her hands around frantically. "Can we stop talking about how hot my brother is or isn't?"

  I flipped my hair back in exasperation. "You brought it up!"

  "And now I'm unbring
ing it up!'

  "That isn't a word!"

  "Hey!" Larkin called sharply, snapping her fingers. "Focus."

  With a huff, Katy folded her arms over her chest. "Fine. But can we please make it a rule of the friend zone that we not discuss any sexual curricular activities you and Remy engage in?"

  I growled. "Who the hell said I wanted anything to do with Remy? I didn't ask for this anymore than I asked for having green eyes. It just happened. And now I need to figure out what to do about it!"

  "Hold on. Do you not want to be bonded?" Larkin picked her words carefully.

  "Of course not!" I retorted, but then I hesitated. "I mean, I don't think so? It's not like I have a choice. I can't un-bond."

  "That's not true," Larkin said, causing Katy and I to both stare at her.

  "I can break this thing?" I asked, moving to sit on Larkin's bed. Even as I spoke the words, considering their weight, my wolf pitched a fit.

  Katy scooted to the edge of my bed. "True mate bonds are rare. Why would anyone want to break that?"

  "Maybe because the people in the bond don't know each other and didn't sign up for a life sentence at the age of seventeen?" I answered, giving her a pointed look. "Remy didn't ask for this either, Katy. It's not like your parents who were together for years before their bond snapped into place. I’ve only known Remy for a couple of weeks."

  "That's why other couples have found a way to break the bond," Larkin said. "Or so I've been told. When we went on vacation to the beach a few years ago, the shifter who ran the hotel we stayed at told me that his sister had just broken her true mate bond."

  "How?" I demanded.

  Larkin glanced at Katy and then me. "Apparently the bond is broken if one of you cheats on the other? I think that’s how it works. Like, if you or Remy have sex with someone else, it destroys the bond. The sister of the hotel owner found out she was true bonded to an omega in their pack, and she didn't want it. So, she slept with his brother and it severed the bond."

  Katy gave me an odd look. "You're gorgeous, but I'm not sleeping with you, Skye."

  "Gee, thanks, Katy." I rolled my eyes so hard I thought I sprained a socket. I looked at Larkin. "So, if Remy or I have sex with someone else ... that's it?"

  Larkin shrugged. "That's what the guy told me. I guess some people feel the same way you do - that the bond takes away their choice."

  "But a true mate bond is a sacred, incredible thing," Katy argued. "I don’t want to drink the Kool-Aid, but I've seen my parents and other couples in Blackwater who are true mates. Most people would be crazy not to want that."

  I closed my eyes briefly. "I get that, I do. But I've spent my entire life having decisions made for me. When do I get to live my own life?"

  "Would being with Remy be that awful?" Katy asked quietly, and I got the distinct impression I was on the verge of offending her.

  "It's not about Remy," I replied, frustrated. "It's about having a choice. I would think you would be all about a girl's right to choose."

  "And I am," Katy answered quickly. "But the true mate bond isn't something that comes along every day.”

  Larkin nodded in agreement. “She’s right, Skye. You don’t want to make a knee-jerk reaction that could affect the rest of your lives.”

  I all but growled at them. “I’m not making any reactions right now, okay? I’m trying to figure out all of my options.”

  Katy held up a hand. “All I'm saying is, talk to Remy before you decide anything. Odds are he's feeling just as confused as you are."

  Larkin reached over and threaded her fingers with mine. "If this whole thing hadn't happened, how would you feel about Remy?"

  "He scares me," I admitted.

  Katy tensed. "Scares you?"

  I reached over with my free hand and held hers, making sure I was looking at her in the eye. "I've never known someone like your brother. I've never known someone could be an alpha, and a protector, and a friend. It scares me because he's incredible and I'm ... me. I'm so damaged in so many ways, and he's … amazing." My heart sank with each word. "How could he want to be with someone like me?"

  Katy's eyes filled with tears. "I really need you to listen to me, Skye, okay?"

  I nodded, pressing my lips together.

  "You are incredible," she hissed. Her fingers squeezed mine hard. "You're a fighter. You have so much compassion. You've survived hell. If anyone deserves a happy ending, it's you. And you're right - my brother is pretty freaking amazing. He deserves someone as strong and beautiful as you."

  She paused and glared at both Larkin and me. "If either of you tell him I said that, I'll burn your bras on the front lawn."

  We both laughed. The tightness eased in my chest as we giggled together.

  "I mean it," Katy continued. "You've only been here a couple of weeks, but you fit in perfectly with us. I know you see this bond as something else you don't have a say in, but you also didn't have a say in joining the Blackwater pack and look how well that turned out."

  "You didn't have a choice in your roommate and look how that turned out." Larkin flashed me a cheesy grin.

  I laughed again, feeling tears prick hotly against the backs of my eyes.

  "Talk to Remy," Katy said gently. She gave me a small smile, both dimples flashing.

  Larkin nodded, squeezing the hand she still held. "I agree."

  "Okay," I agreed. "I'll go see him tomorrow."

  Katy arched a brow at me and Larkin frowned.

  "I won't go see him tomorrow?" I was confused.

  "Sweetie," Katy said with a patronizing sigh, "do you honestly think either of you are going to get any sleep until you sort this out?"

  I glanced at Larkin. "I don't want to leave you after everything that's happened."

  Katy let me go and sank further into Larkin's bed, laying her head in the omega's lap. "I'll hang out until you get back."

  "But-"

  "It will give me something else to focus on," Larkin said solemnly, her large brown eyes innocently hopeful.

  My jaw dropped and Katy started giggling, clapping her hands with glee.

  "Oh, the emotional manipulation is strong with this one," Katy declared.

  "You suck," I retorted.

  Larkin shrugged and gave me a sweet smile. "Don't stay out too late. We'll want to hear all about it before you go to sleep."

  Rolling my eyes, I got off the bed and headed for the door. "I hate you both."

  "You love us," Katy replied in a singsong tone.

  I smiled as I closed the door because I really did.

  The walk to the alpha cabin usually took less than ten minutes. Between my pacing and detours, it took me nearly twenty minutes. The last three of which, I had been standing at the foot of the stairs leading to the front door.

  I could see the lights from the TV flickering against the fragmented glass of the front door, so someone was definitely awake. Probably Remy, if he felt half as confused as I did.

  "Okay," I told myself quietly, "you're just going to walk up there and figure this out, Skye."

  Four more minutes ticked by. Four torturous minutes where I contemplated everything from running back to the dorm to finding a trucker to flag down and get me the hell out of Montana.

  "Screw it," I whispered, squaring my shoulders. I jogged up the steps and crossed the porch. I rapped my knuckles against the glass and waited.

  And waited.

  It took forever before the door opened. Rhodes had barely cracked it before I pushed him aside and made my way through. I stopped short once I came in.

  Remy was sitting on the sofa, the controller for a game in his hands. It slipped out of his grasp when he saw it was me, landing with a thunk on the rug.

  "Skye. Hey." He stood up slowly, wiping his palms against his jeans.

  "Is Larkin okay?" Rhodes demanded, touching my arm. "Did something happen?"

  I blinked and looked at him, remembering he was in the room, too. "What? No, Larkin's fine. She's with Katy. I, um, need
to talk to Remy."

  Rhodes looked back and forth between us. After a beat, he reached for the denim jacket hanging by the front door and shrugged it on. "I'm just gonna go anywhere that isn't here." He hurried back out the door, slamming it behind him.

  I turned back to Remy and we stared at each other for a long beat. I quickly cut him off when he opened his mouth to speak.

  "Can I start?" If I didn't get this out now, before I lost my nerve, I never would. "I mean, please?"

  Remy nodded slowly, his warm dark eyes sliding over me. He reached for the remote and turned off the television.

  I walked around him and started pacing in front of the lit fireplace. The heat did nothing to seep into the sudden cold that weighed down my bones.

  "I've never been alone," I finally blurted out, still pacing. "Growing up I was always in the omega house, and it was never empty. Hell, I even shared a bed with my mom until I started going to school here.”

  I hesitated and made a face. “Which you probably didn't need to know."

  He smiled softly and sat down on the edge of the couch, his hands clasped loosely between his knees.

  "My life before Blackwater sucked. It was literally hell. And there was never a break. It's why I like to read so much - it's an escape."

  "You mentioned that."

  God, had his voice always sounded that warm? That husky? That ... Dammit, I was getting off track.

  I blinked. "I did? Right. I did." I gave a quick nod. "I mean, I know technically I'm rooming with Larkin, but for the first time in my life, I can just be me. Not the omega or the bastard or the … whatever. I'm just me."

  My pacing slowed and I let out a long breath. "I know you can't control this anymore than I can. You didn't ask for it. I'm just ..." I sighed, trailing off as I stopped pacing altogether.

  "Scared that you're just being attached to yet another person who can control you?" He finished my thought perfectly. "That once again you don't get a say in your own life?"

  My eyes went wide. "I thought Zoe told me you would only be able to read my thoughts in wolf form."

  He laughed and shook his head, eyes smiling. "That’s true. This is just me being able to guess where your head is since I’ve gotten to know you. It’s not a big leap."