Sanctum (Blackwater Pack Book 1)

by Hannah McBride

  "Oh."

  Remy stood up. "Skye, I don't know exactly what you went through at your last pack. Obviously, I have some ideas, but I don't really know."

  "I'm not ready to talk about that," I whispered, all my defenses shoring up. I wrapped my arms around my waist, hugging myself.

  "And I'm not asking you to," he assured me, coming to a stop less than a foot in front of me. "A mate bond means that we're meant to be together. But that doesn't mean that we have to be together."

  "Larkin told me that there's a way to break the bond."

  Remy froze, his expression smoothing as he schooled his reaction. His body went eerily still. "Is that what you want?"

  I hesitated and looked at him, looked into those warm chocolate brown eyes and knew.

  "No. I don't want that at all." Admitting it felt like a relief and like I was freefalling off a cliff all at once.

  He shifted towards me. "This is all new to me, too, Skye."

  A sobering thought crossed my mind. The one that had been plaguing me since the woods. "Do you want this, Remy?"

  The corner of his mouth hitched up for a second as he looked at me. Slowly, he raised a hand, tracing the curve of my jaw. I shivered, remembering the feel of his hands stroking when I was a wolf.

  This was so much better.

  He inched even closer. His breath, minty and warm, fanned over my face. His eyes tracked the movements of his fingers hungrily.

  "Yeah," he answered roughly, thickly. "I want this. I want you." He dipped his head and covered my mouth with his.

  23

  As far as first kisses went, I was pretty sure this was one for the record books. Obviously, I didn't have anything to compare it to, but this was one of the most incredible moments of my life.

  Fire ignited in me the second Remy's lips touched mine, soft but demanding all at once. His hands settled on my hips, pulling me closer. The smell of him from earlier in the evening, pine and soap and something that was entirely Remy, filled my senses.

  I was going to combust in the most exquisite ways.

  His large hands almost spanned my waist, his fingers flexing against the soft material of my yoga pants. His tongue teased the seam of my lips until I opened my mouth on a gasp, letting him in.

  I groaned as his tongue stroked mine, one hand sliding from my waist up my spine.

  My hands had been clenched into fists on his chest, the fabric of his t-shirt bunched in my grip. I relaxed my hold now, letting my hands slide over the hard muscle and up around his neck, pressing my chest flush against his.

  Now Remy groaned, changing the angle of his head to deepen the kiss.

  Flames licked through my blood, and I was sure I was going to combust any second.

  I was one hundred percent okay with death by kissing.

  His other hand lifted to cradle my jaw, holding my head exactly where he wanted me for the best access to devour me. He shuffled backwards, tugging me with him until we were falling weightless for a second.

  Remy landed on the couch, pulling me down with him. I fell against his chest, straddling his lap without breaking the kiss. His hands returned to my hips, pulling me down against him.

  I rolled my hips on instinct as liquid heat pool low in my belly, my body knowing what to do even if my brain didn't.

  His low groan, almost sounding pained, made my wolf sing. I could feel the evidence of his arousal pressing more and more insistently at my center. The fact that I could cause such a visceral reaction made me feel powerful; it was a total head rush to have this alpha male underneath me and coming undone.

  Another roll of my hips had me gasping and breaking the kiss, my head dropping back in ecstasy. My hands dropped to the hard muscles of his shoulders, my nails digging in as I grew lightheaded.

  Remy's mouth moved across my jaw and down my neck, nipping at the pulse point he found and then soothing it with his tongue and lips. His fingertips traced the exposed skin between my pants and my top that had ridden up. The heat of his skin on mine made me shiver with anticipation of more.

  "Skye," he whispered against my neck, lifting his hips to meet my center.

  My hand fisted in his soft hair, much the way I wanted to do when we were dancing only hours earlier. With a growl, I lifted his head before slamming my lips back onto his with bruising force.

  He met every one of my movements with equal fervor, stroke for stroke, touch for touch.

  A strange, foreign sensation started building between my legs. The way my body was reacting was all new to me, but wholly addictive. I craved that feeling, grinding my hips down against his.

  "Shit," Remy moaned. He pulled his lips away from me and tightened his hands on my hips, stopping my movements instead of pulling me closer like I wanted.

  I frowned and tried to push myself against him again, desperate for the fiction between our bodies as I chased a high I never knew existed.

  He sucked in a sharp breath, fingers digging into my sides. "Skye, wait. Stop."

  Breathing hard, I opened my eyes and looked into his. My chest heaved in time with his as we struggled to catch our breath. His eyes were dark with lust and ... uncertainty?

  "Wait," he repeated softly, his hands relaxing on my hips as he realized he had my full attention.

  Wait?

  My wolf and I both whined the word internally. I almost whimpered out loud, frustrated as the insistent pulse between my legs throbbed.

  What the hell did he mean, wait?

  A thumb stroked the skin above my hip and nearly had me rocking against him again. "We need to slow down and talk about this."

  It was like a bucket of ice water had been thrown on my head.

  I scrambled off his lap and across the room in seconds, putting as much distance between us as possible. Humiliation and shame rushed through me, a levee breaking in my soul as I realized what I had almost done. I moved so fast I stumbled and almost went down in a blind panic.

  My first kiss with Remy, and I practically mounted him like a bitch in heat.

  I felt every bit the whore Cassian had always called me.

  "I'm sorry," I gasped out, shaking my head as disgust washed over me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-"

  "Whoa, Skye, stop," Remy ordered gently. He got off the couch, adjusting his jeans with a wince. He caught my gaze with a rueful smile.

  Heat bloomed across my cheeks as I looked away.

  "Hey, come on," he implored, coming to a stop in front of me. His hand reached up to touch my face, but I shied away, more than a little embarrassed. "Shit. Skye, I didn't mean-"

  "It's my fault," I interrupted quickly. I just wanted this over so I could get out of here and lick my wounds in peace. "I came here, and I shouldn't have ... I can go."

  "No!" he said sharply as he grabbed my wrist. His touch was infinitely gentle.

  I looked up, stunned when I saw his fierce expression.

  "Don't go," he added softly. "Please, don't go." He ran his other hand through his hair. It was a mess from my fingers tangling in it.

  I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, trying to ignore my stinging pride and the wolf currently raising hell in my chest. She wasn't sure why we weren't naked already.

  He took a deep breath. "This bond between us ... I don't want to hurry and mess this up. I know things at your last pack weren’t good. I don't want to do anything tonight you might regret later."

  "Oh," I replied simply. As my embarrassment eased, I was actually kind of relieved one of us had kept their head. If Remy hadn't stopped us, I wasn't entirely sure I would have.

  My wolf huffed, annoyed, as she calmed down.

  Yeah. I definitely wouldn't have stopped.

  The rational, human part of me knew that would have been a mistake.

  He gave me a wry grin. "Trust me, as much as I would love to keep going - and believe me, I really would - I think we need to take it slow."

  "You’re right. I’m glad one of us is thinking clearly," I returned, a shy smile tu
gging at my lips. I took a deep breath as the riot of emotions and urges in me slowed from boiling to a simmer.

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. "Why don't we just take this easy? There's no rush." His eyes slid down my body, his gaze heating. "And I really don't want to rush a damn thing with you."

  I bit my lower lip, a nervous laugh bubbling up. "Sounds good. I mean, it's late. Maybe I should head back to my room."

  "I'll walk you back," he told me, his tone not offering but telling.

  I nodded, waiting as he grabbed his coat off the hook. He glanced back at me and frowned. "Where's your coat?"

  I glanced down, realizing I never grabbed it when I left Katy and Larkin earlier. I looked back at him with a shrug. "I guess I forgot it. I was a little distracted."

  He laughed, a broad grin on his face. He grabbed a hoodie hanging next to his coat and tossed it to me. "It'll probably be huge on you, but it's better than nothing."

  I pulled it over my head, sniffing deeply. My heart warmed as I was wrapped entirely in Remy's scent.

  He was still smirking knowingly at me when I got my arms through the holes, rolling up the sleeves as it hung almost to my knees.

  I narrowed my gaze, folding my arms across my chest. "You know you're not getting this back, right?"

  He chuckled again, the warm sound rumbling up from his chest as he pulled on his jacket and came over to me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head. "It's yours."

  I let my head rest against the center of his chest for a long moment, taking comfort and sanctuary in his embrace.

  He pressed another kiss into my hair. "Let's get you to bed."

  I pulled back and arched a brow.

  He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand, pulling me out the door. "Your own bed," he retorted with a laugh.

  His fingers laced through mine as we walked down the stairs and started for the dorms, the lights from the building flickering in the distance like a beacon.

  I smiled to myself, wondering if Larkin and Katy would be watching at the window.

  "What's that smile for?" he asked, nudging me.

  "I was wondering what kind of inquisition I'll get from Katy and Larkin when I get back," I admitted.

  His brows raised. "You told them?"

  "Was I not supposed to?" I swallowed, wondering if I had done the wrong thing. It's not like an instant mating bond came with an instant manual my brain downloaded.

  Wouldn't that have been convenient?

  He shook his head. "You can tell them whatever you want. I'm glad you've become such good friends with them. Truthfully, Katy and Larkin have always been on the outs as far as the pack goes. It's why they gravitated towards each other."

  I must have looked confused because he went on, “Larkin’s always been quiet. Her family joined the pack when she was a kid. And Katy is … Katy.”

  We both laughed easily because that was the truth; Katy was simply Katy.

  "So, I'm just another misfit?" I teased.

  He snorted. "It's a little crazy to see how tight you three are. It's like you grew up together. Not like you just got here a couple of weeks ago."

  I sighed thoughtfully as he guided us to the path to the dorms, my feet crunching on the ground beneath me. "I never had this at my last pack. Friends, I mean. It's nice."

  Nice didn’t really begin to cover how I felt about Katy and Larkin. Words weren’t adequate to explain how much I was coming to love those two.

  He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. "I'm glad you and your mom got out." He dropped our hands, but still held mine in his. "I meant what I said, you know. Anytime you want to talk about what happened, I'm here. No judgment."

  "Thanks," I whispered, my fingers squeezing his briefly. "I'll be ready to talk about it one day, but sometimes I feel like I'm still processing what happened.”

  “You’ve only been here a few weeks, Skye, You have to give yourself time,” he told me quietly, the warmth of his breath fogging the air in front of us.

  “I know. It just feels like I'm always waiting for the monster around the corner or for the other shoe to drop."

  He pulled me to a gentle stop, looking down at me seriously. “I won’t let anything hurt you.” The corner of his mouth hooked up. “Monsters or otherwise.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered. After a second I turned so we could keep walking. The more his eyes studied me, the more I worried he would see past my flimsy walls to all the dark secrets I had buried.

  I cleared my throat and leaned against him as we walked. “I feel safe here. I feel safe … with you. But it’s going to take more than a couple weeks to undo a lifetime of feeling scared of everything.”

  "Is there anything I can do?" he asked as we turned the last bend to the dorm.

  I stopped us, turning to face him. "Just be patient?" I requested softly. "I'll probably mess things up at some point or do something stupid. I'm kind of new to the whole relationship thing."

  "I can be patient," he said softly, reaching up with his free hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Take all the time you want. I'm here whenever you need me. As your friend and ... more."

  I smiled. "More, huh? I think I like that."

  He grinned, his teeth brilliantly white in the darkness. "Good. There's definitely going to be more." He dropped his mouth to mine, kissing me softly, but keeping it short and sweet.

  I exhaled loudly. "What happens next?"

  He glanced up at the windows. "Now you go get some sleep."

  I rolled my eyes. "I mean, do we tell people about us? This?"

  "That's up to you. Do you want to tell the pack?"

  "Please don't do that," I begged, not wanting the responsibility of every decision on my shoulders while Remy gave me room to breathe. "I know you're being sweet and letting me set the pace, but I can't feel like my feelings are the only ones that matter. What do you want?"

  Remy ducked his head slightly, making sure I was looking in his eyes. "Skye, I would be happy to tell everyone about us tonight."

  My eyes widened.

  "But you might not be ready for that," he added knowingly. "Mate bonds are rare, and I’ve never heard of one happening to a pair as young as we are. I didn’t even know it was possible to bond right now. I think the youngest pair on record were twenty? Twenty-one?”

  "Wow," I murmured. "I mean, I knew it wasn't common, but wow."

  "That means a lot of questions and a lot of staring," he went on. "I'm used to it. I've had the spotlight on me almost my entire life. But is that what you want?"

  I considered it. "Maybe we just tell people we're dating?" I offered hopefully, knowing full well that dating the alpha-to-be of Blackwater would still cause waves.

  "We can do that," he agreed. "But we'll probably have to tell the pack before the run next weekend. If we don't, they'll definitely notice it when we shift and are near each other."

  "That obvious, huh?" I asked wryly.

  He snorted. "I can barely control myself in human form around you. My wolf already has us mated, married, and playing house."

  I laughed loudly. "Yeah, mine is pretty much the same." I winked at him. "She's kind of pushy."

  "It's easier as wolves," he said, lacing his other hand into mine and raising our hands to his chest. "Wolves are baser creatures. They don't give a shit about human emotions. It's why the bond only happens when you're shifted. There's less emotional baggage and confusion to muddy the waters."

  "That makes sense," I agreed, smoothing my thumbs against the backs of his hands.

  "So we tell the pack before the run," he concluded. “That gives us a week to just be us in public, and it doesn’t matter when we’re with our friends. You already told Katy and Larkin, and I told Rhodes."

  "You did?"

  He nodded. "He's my best friend. I tell him everything."

  "Everything, huh?" I gave him a pointed look.

  His gaze smoldered, his eyes dropping t
o my lips. "Maybe not everything."

  I was still laughing as he pressed his lips to mine again, his kiss was lazy and slow. When he tried to pull back, I rolled onto my toes, keeping our lips together. He chuckled against my mouth.

  I was still smiling when I broke the kiss. I licked my lips slowly, tasting him there. "I could get used to this," I said softly, almost to myself.

  "Me, too." He rested his forehead against mine, and I closed my eyes on a deep, relaxed sigh. "Go get some sleep. I'll see you at breakfast, okay?"

  I nodded, my forehead still against his. "Okay."

  He lifted his head and kissed my forehead. "Go. I'll wait for you to get inside."

  Reluctantly I let him go and turned, heading up the stairs to the dorm. I opened the door and looked back to see Remy still standing there, waiting for me. I smiled to myself and gave him a small wave before ducking inside the building.

  I took the stairs again, taking them two at a time, my heart lighter than it had been in years.

  I was still smiling when I opened the door to my dorm. I closed the door and looked up to find Katy and Larkin staring at me with matching grins.

  "Tell us everything," Katy demanded, her eyes sparkling.

  24

  “I’m seriously going to throw up," Katy deadpanned, throwing an arm across my chest to stop us as we walked into the cafeteria the next morning.

  "What?" I asked, throwing my arms up in exasperation.

  "We're barely in the doors, and you two are already making eyes at each other," she griped, nose wrinkled in disgust.

  I wanted to tell her she was wrong, but the second I crossed the threshold, my eyes found Remy's. If my smile matched the energy in his, we definitely looked like a couple of idiots.

  He was already seated at our normal table with Rhodes, Dante, Tate, Maren, and Ryder. He stopped mid-conversation with Dante when I came in, his full attention shifting to me.

  The grin he gave me almost had me pushing Katy aside so I could run to him.

  "Stop," Katy begged, tugging on my arm and pulling my attention back to her. "It's too early for this."