Party Hard

by David Petrie

  Kira cringed at the man’s use of vocabulary. It wasn’t that she was bothered by swearing. Sometimes she loved it. A well-placed F-bomb or an interesting combination could be pretty funny, if timed right. More often than not, though, it showed a lack of creativity and throwing away such a great opportunity like a Taunt seemed like a waste. Even worse, most of the scalefangs ignored the player altogether, still focusing on her.

  Jaws snapped shut, missing Kira’s toes by less than an inch as she hopped out of the way. She might have stood a better chance if she had at least picked a combat mage class such as a Venom or a Cauldron. But had she picked either of those? Nope. She had gone with Breath Mage, which could heal, and that was pretty much it.

  "Any time now, Max," she grumbled through her teeth as she swiped open her spell-craft menu and set up a Mirage with one hand while casting another Pulse at a hungry scalefang with the other. Two transparent versions of herself appeared, bracketing her on both sides and mimicking her every move. They were taken out after a couple more attacks, buying her precious little time. That was when a drooling mouth clamped down on her left arm. A dull, simulated pain spread through her wrist, followed by a numbness that radiated from her elbow to her hand to keep it bearable. She pivoted, using the beast's momentum to swing her attacker off. She looked to her forearm where teeth marks glowed red across the digital ink of her stat-sleeve before fading away. The bone charm at her side did the same, taking the hit for her and leaving her feeling vulnerable without it. It was an item that only worked once, meaning that the next hit would be her last.

  "Crap!" She regretted her decision to jump into the situation alone. Without some reliable back up, it was only a matter of time.

  MaxDamage24 shoved with one hand at a scalefang as it pinned him to the ground. The beast’s jaws scraped against the underside of the pistol he gripped in his other hand. He would have shot the thing, but the angle was off, leaving the muzzle of the gun sticking out the side of the creature’s mouth like a cigar. Oh well. At least it wasn’t biting him. There had been a second scalefang, but he’d pushed that jerk off the ledge. Granted, he’d also dropped his other gun in the process. Now it was laying on the ground just out of reach.

  He shoved again at the beast above him, its over-muscled neck holding steady as it pushed back in an attempt to eat his face. A droplet of drool fell from its tongue. It would have landed in his mouth if Max’s scarf hadn’t slipped up over his chin a moment before. He blew a puff of air at the fabric with a frustrated grunt to clear it away from his face. Then another drop of drool fell.

  “Blah! Right in my mouth.” Max spat right back at the creature.

  The scalefang didn’t seem to care.

  “Get off me, you damn lizard thing!” he growled through his teeth. He was glad Kira wasn’t around. She’d never let him live down such a bland insult, or for that matter, the fact that he had been caught off guard a minute after he’d jabbed her for not paying attention to her surroundings. Thinking of her, he glanced at his party readout roasting in the tattooed flames on his wrist. She didn’t have time to wait for him.

  Max wasn’t any stronger than he was in the real world. Sure, his stats were high enough but that only affected his weapon damage. He reached for his other gun, fingertips falling just short. He groaned. He almost would rather it be further away, as if it was teasing him by being so close, yet so far. In the end, he ignored it and opted to punch the scalefang in the neck. It let out a growl, but his bare fists couldn’t do much more than chip damage. He cursed Noctem’s developers for prioritizing the game’s realism over giving players enhanced physical capabilities to match their character build. Although, it could be worse. He could be Kira. She’d hit him more than enough times to know how limited a fairy’s physical strength was.

  He punched the beast again hoping to make it flinch. Then he got a brilliant idea. He shoved his wrist into the creature’s mouth and held it in place while he yanked his pistol free. Teeth clamped down, illuminating his arm in a glow of crimson puncture marks.

  “Bite me.” He shoved the gun into the thing’s side and fired.

  The scalefang reeled backward, letting Max roll out from under its weight. He snatched his other pistol from the ground and fired twice to put down the threat.

  Max stood as the red glow faded from his wrist, and he spat out his scarf which had somehow gotten back in his mouth during the struggle. The light scrap of fabric hung halfway off his shoulder, leaving him looking disheveled. He pulled the accessory off and stuffed it down the front of his leather armor to keep the bump to his dexterity that it provided. He could equip it properly later. Right now, he had to get moving.

  Max raced down the canyon’s zigzagging path, catching a glimpse of the party below. Kira was at its center, dodging scalefangs and casting every spell she could to stay alive. He still had some way to go when she took a hit. He checked his stat-sleeve for her health, hoping she still had a bone charm equipped to take the damage for her. He exhaled when he saw her meager fifty points, right where they belonged, but even with that, he couldn’t slow down. No, worse. He had to move faster. The next attack would kill her.

  He examined the path, finding a place where it doubled back further down. He was still over thirty feet above the canyon floor, but the ledge below was halfway in the middle. It sparked an idea. He glanced at his own health and ran the numbers, estimating the fall damage against his defense and remaining health. He nodded to himself, then took a running leap.

  His boots hit the ledge with a crunch of crumbling rock, and he lost track of which direction was up for a moment. Then it was obvious. The ground met his feet with a sudden jolt of simulated pain that faded as he tucked his body into a ball. From there, damage registered all over. He rolled, working with the momentum until he found his footing and slid to a stop on one knee between Kira and a few hungry mouths. He drew his pistols in the same motion and opened fire.

  A cacophony of sound and smoke erupted from his hands, his eyes darting between enemies to make each bullet count. It was his turn to catch the scalefangs by surprise. Swirls of smoke trailed around him until his magazines ran dry, the slides of his pistols locking back empty. The first wave of The Culling was finished; lifeless reptilian bodies littered the ground around him. He stood motionless for a moment, still aiming his guns in opposite directions. A satisfied smirk grew on his face while his dumbfounded audience took in the scene. He gave Kira his most annoying wink. “Sorry, I had to do my class justice. Wouldn’t be much of a Fury if I didn’t know how to make an entrance.”

  She narrowed her eyes back at him.

  He responded with a bow, twirling the tip of one empty gun as if it were a top hat. Having made the right impression, he stood back up and tossed one pistol into his other hand to hold it next to its twin and ejected their magazines. He shoved in a fresh pair just as the next group of scalefangs got into position.

  "Nice of you to show up. Did you log out and use the bathroom on your way down?" Kira spouted in an obvious attempt to hide how relieved she must have been as she took up her position at his side.

  "Yeah, that's exactly what I did, you jackass," he replied through a thick layer of sarcasm.

  "That's good. I'd hate to repeat that night you ate all those tacos before logging on," she added with a musical laugh at the end that was entirely out of place in such a tense situation.

  "God, you're never gonna let me live that down, are you?"

  She laughed again. "Nope, it was hilarious. I’m just glad I don’t have to do your laundry."

  Noticing the party's unease at their banter, Max got serious again. "You ready for this?"

  "It's what we came for." She turned back to the party. "We're gonna need some space for this. Before I landed, I released enough pixie dust to give you all a few minutes of Flight. You should have a little left. Use it to get clear."

  The group did a double take at their stat-sleeves to find a tiny feather icon next to each of their names. Be
fore Max could say good luck, they were already gone. He let out a low whistle. "Damn, they cleared out fast.”

  "Yeah, I’m kinda glad I didn't mention the effects of my pixie dust earlier."

  Max brushed a lock of dirty blond hair off his cheek with a thumb. "Did you ever think you would use the words ‘pixie dust’ in a serious conversation?"

  Kira snorted. "No. No, I did not."

  Then, almost on cue, the next wave of scalefangs began to close in, now outnumbering them ten to two. Kira and Max turned to face each other and stepped in close, their backs to the creatures.

  He gave her a smirk. "May I have this dance?"

  She rolled her eyes as hard as possible and swiped her hands up to open her spell-craft menu for both casters at once, surrounding herself with glowing glyphs on either side.

  Both Max and Kira were level one hundred and fourteen, but that didn't mean they were strong enough to survive with only the two of them. They could win if they had a party of five or six, but alone, it would take some strategy.

  Max held his guns up in front of his forehead and breathed the words, ‘Custom Rounds’ followed by, ‘Low Velocity.’ He didn’t need much range for what was coming, but the fifteen bullets in each magazine weren’t enough to kill a wave of scalefangs before being overtaken. There was no margin for error and reducing the recoil on his guns would help him land his hits. Of course, he could have used the same skill to add an element to his bullets, but he couldn’t change them a second time, and besides, that wasn’t his job.

  Kira spun the rows of glyphs without needing to look, skipping past the one that started Infusion. That spell would have worked to buff Max’s hits, but it was too slow, and the scalefangs’ ability to change their affinity made them versatile. She needed to be, too. Her fingers aligned three low-level spells instead, Flame Touch, Spark Touch, and Wind Touch. Most players forgot about this little group of spells as soon as they got new ones because they required the caster to actually touch a player’s weapon. She dropped two of each into her queue and finished off with a Guidance spell which let her see the elemental weakness of each target as a colored aura around them.

  Max swept the scene with his eyes as the feathered lizards closed off any possible route of escape. He took a breath and raised his pistols to a pre-planned height to allow the fairy to reach them with her short stature.

  Kira turned to face the creatures and reached back over her shoulders, tapping each gun with her fingertips. Then it started.

  A scalefang lunged as the pair darted in opposite directions, causing it to stumble between them. Then turning in unison, Kira pointed at it with her right hand, telling Max to use his right gun. He fired a single round, ending the creature. He looked back to his partner. She had already selected two more targets for elimination before the ejected bullet casing hit the ground.

  The scalefangs swarmed, leaping two and three at a time as Max dodged and ducked attacks. Kira matched him, weaving past without ever getting in the way. She pointed. He fired. Together they took out the closest threats to make some room. They left alive the ones that didn't match their current set up. Kira ducked past him, close to his side. He responded by lowering one pistol for her to touch on her way by and she spun across his back like a dancer to update his other weapon. With both guns set to spark, he cleaned up the last of the wave, electricity arching off each kill.

  Max ejected his near-empty magazines as a new wave of enemies moved into position. Normally, he would keep firing until they were spent, but he had to make efficient use of the moment available. He didn’t bother reloading; there wasn’t time to get a new mag from his pouch. Instead, he held both pistols sideways so that the openings at the base of their grips faced the same direction. He didn’t even have to wait. Kira was already sliding in two fresh magazines from the stock she carried as a backup.

  From there, Max continued to fight while Kira pranced around him, speeding up as his confidence grew which led to an almost cocky attitude. “Hey, scaly dumbass,” he called as he took out another.

  “Oh, if you’re doing wisecracks you can do better than that.” Kira pointed out a new target.

  He fired. “I think that one had a reptile dysfunction.”

  “Really? A dick joke?” Kira slapped one hand to her face and pointed to another scalefang with her other.

  “Toothy handbag?” Max fired.

  That one got a snort out of her.

  “Feathers McBiteface?” he offered, pulling a trigger.

  The fairy laughed and twirled past him, becoming more excessive with her movements for added style. She leapt backward and materialized her wings to float over his head. At the same time, he raised his guns for her to update. Shimmering particles fell from her wings, mixing with the swirls of smoke that drifted around him. It was impressive, but her landing put her in the path of a lunging scalefang, which forced Max to dash between them to take the hit.

  He grunted with the impact and lost his balance, going down on one knee hard enough to take damage to his leg. He took a few more hits before regaining his stance. His health plummeted. Kira cast a frantic mid-level heal in an attempt to fill him back up without drawing too much attention. He recovered, but the near loss reminded him of what they were up against. From there, he quit screwing around and pushed on with renewed focus, leaving few openings for the rest of the beasts.

  The whole fight, which seemed to last forever, only took about a minute. After which, he was left standing with her at his back in the middle of a circle of corpses. There was no blood, as that would have been more graphic than what the game intended for its audience, but the sheer number of bodies still gave the scene a macabre feeling.

  Max took a moment to catch his breath as the same deep growl that signaled the start of the event echoed from the largest cave in the canyon. They both looked in its direction, making contact with a single massive green eye that glowed in the dark of the shadowed entrance. A glance at the shifting ink on his wrist showed him the boss's health bar as it appeared, running down the edge of his forearms to the side of his party status.

  One-eye stalked into the bright light of the moon, his size being several times that of the scalefangs that they had finished off. His feathered mane fanned out like razor blades. Despite being nothing more than a construct of the system, his low growl seemed full of contempt and rage for the ones that had put his brothers to death. He charged. Max and Kira did the same.

  The fairy darted into the air, casting a Pulse with both casters. White puffs of energy hit the beast in the face and neck, bursting on impact. His massive scaled body faltered for a moment. He recovered and spun his head to face the fairy for a killing blow as she landed on the ground in front of him within reach. It would only take seconds for him to end her. Then the sound of a bullet being chambered came from beside the huge scalefang.

  The boss hadn't seen Max approach since Kira's distraction had kept the beast's blind spot turned toward him. There was no time for it to turn or run. Instead, it just froze. For a moment, Max almost pitied the artificial beast, but only for a moment. He unloaded one pistol into the scarred indent where the creature's missing eye should've been, landing several critical hits before switching hands and emptying his other gun for good measure. Max ejected the magazines while saying one line as the beast fell. He kept his voice low as he quoted a bad action movie, "Rest in pieces."

  Kira hopped over to him, grinning like a goon. There was a sharp contrast to the intensity she had carried just seconds before.

  Max chuckled at the sudden cheerfulness. It suited her better. Although, he would never actually tell her that.

  "That was quick. Didn't have to wait around at all," she stated, drawing a small doodle on the dusty ground with her foot.

  Max's heart lifted, excitement rushing into him. "That's true. We still have a few hours before logout. We could do something else … something that’s actually fun."

  Kira navigated through her stat-sleeve's options again
, this time selecting the word ‘loot’. It redrew itself into a list of the items gained by the fight.

  Five scalefang scales

  Twelve scalefang teeth

  One large claw

  Fifteen bones of predatory beasts

  "Nice! This should cover me for a couple of weeks at least." Kira bounced on the balls of her feet as she tapped ‘collect all’. The bodies faded to bones which would disappear as well over the next hour, erasing the evidence of the last few minutes of scalefang murder from the landscape.

  Max checked his progress bar in his journal, finding his level hovering at ninety-five percent, even after the 51,634 experience points gained from the fight. Most of the time, he didn’t bother looking because the bar took so long to fill, but he had been close to advancing for the last few days. He also needed the upgrade points to rank up his Custom Rounds skill. His attention was drawn away when he noticed a Blade class player standing behind them. It was the leader of the party that they’d rescued.

  “Umm, thanks.” The Blade seemed to be making an effort to stand tall.

  Kira returned to drawing on the ground, so Max did the talking as usual. “No problem, we were here anyway.”

  The Blade’s eyes shifted from Max to Kira, then down to her drawing. “Oh.”

  “Why were you here with The Culling overdue like that?” Max asked as he pulled his scarf out from where he had stuffed it earlier and held it out straight so he could fold it back into a triangle.

  The Blade’s eyes snapped back to him, and he scratched at the back of his head. “A friend told me that it had already happened, so we were trying to get a level.” He gestured toward the rest of his party hiding up on one of the ledges.”

  “I’d probably have a chat with that friend. I think they just tried to get you killed.” Max wrapped his scarf around his neck and tied it back on.

  The Blade’s eye widened. “Oh, damn! You might be right. Anyways, my name is DarkAssassin. Thanks for the rescue.”