Party Hard

by David Petrie

  Max shot Kira a look, hoping she’d refrain from snorting or making a joke about the kid’s name. As it was, he was pretty sure her mind was already shortening it down to DarkAss. “No problem, I’m Max, and this thing here is Kira.”

  She waved and went back to drawing.

  Assassin gave her an awkward wave back. “I have to ask. How the hell did you do that?” He looked past them at the bones on the ground.

  “It’s a farming spot for us. We come here a lot.”

  “Sure, but I mean, the Fury class isn’t really known for being that strong, and there’s no aim assist or anything, so how did you learn all the …” Assassin finished the question by making finger guns and shooting them in all directions.

  Max laughed at the gesture. It had been a while since he’d had a chance to brag, so he decided to give the guy a lesson. “It’s true that Fury isn’t a popular class, but it is versatile and can deal respectable damage, provided you can hit your targets. That’s the part that’s easier said than done. I mean, stats like strength and dexterity matter for damage output, but if you want to run, jump, aim, or dodge, the system can’t help you there. That would mean the game would have to control your movement somehow, and honestly, I don’t think the technology has come that far. So, you have to do all that on your own, like in the real world.”

  “Yeah?” Assassin raised his eyebrows, clearly expecting some kind of sage advice to come next.

  “Now, the higher your level gets, the harder the enemies get. Which means that the only way to play at higher levels is to learn to fight. In short, git-gud.”

  Assassin’s eyebrows fell back down. “Oh.”

  Max rested his hands on his guns. “Sorry. Wish I had something better to tell you. Just keep playing. Eventually, things will just click into place.”

  Kira stepped in, now finished with her drawing - which looked like a cartoon purse with a mouth. She’d written the words ‘toothy handbag’ beside it. "Tell your Shield thanks for protecting me while we waited for this ass to take his sweet time getting down here."

  "Hey! I ran as fast as I could," Max said before realizing something important. "Actually, why the hell didn't you just dust me up before jumping down here? I could have just flown down with you."

  "Ahhhh …" she started to say, but then she closed her mouth and shrugged while making a sound that suggested the words ‘I don't know.’

  DarkAssassin gave her a look that seemed to ask the same question, but he said nothing.

  After that, they said their goodbyes and sent him on his way, getting a friend request from the player almost as soon as he was out of view.

  Kira groaned as soon as she opened it. The kid had replaced each S in his name with the number 5, making him DarkA55a55in. “I hate it when people use numbers in the place of letters."

  "Oh, God. Not this again," Max sighed.

  "I mean, it's so hard to read." She held her journal close to re-read the friend request. "The only thing worse is when they alternate between upper and lower case ‘cause that's completely illegible."

  Max rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers as if he had a headache. "I know. I've heard this rant so many times."

  "Well, it merits repeating. Is it too much to ask to just come up with something original enough not to require alternate spellings and numbers?" She walked backward in front of him.

  Max sighed again. "Anyways, what you want to do next?"

  She shrugged, falling back into sidekick mode. "I don't care. You pick."

  He opened his journal and held it so they both could see as she slid up to his side. "Let's see if that guy still needs help with the Fire Temple."

  "Tomb," she corrected.

  "What?"

  "I thought it was the Fire Tomb that he needed help with."

  "Temple, Tomb, what's the difference?" Max argued.

  Kira leaned her head to one side. "Well, one is a place of worship, and the other is a place to lay the dead to rest."

  He groaned. "Thank you, Miss Dictionary."

  "Hey, you got a new message." She leaned in close so their shoulders touched and pointed to a line of text at the top of the page.

  "That's odd; I must have missed the system chime during the fight," he said, looking at the page.

  The subject column read one word: Important. If that wasn't enough to encourage him to open the message, it was also written in red ink to signify that the sender had marked the contents as urgent.

  "That's odd. The sender's unknown," Max commented.

  Kira scrunched up her nose as if smelling something. "That's fishy."

  "Better not be spam." Max selected the red text and read aloud. "Meet me in the back room of the Hanging Frederick tavern in the city of Valain. Bring the fairy. Cannot wait until tomorrow. Must be before logout. I have a mission for you. I repeat, come ASAP!"

  "I hate when people say ASAP. It makes me feel like I'm at work reading emails. Also, I do have a name." Kira squinted her eyes as if somehow glaring at the unknown sender of the message.

  Max tapped a finger on the back of his journal. "Might be interesting, though. I mean, it's piqued my curiosity."

  She chuckled. “What's that they say about cats?” She drew in a breath then frowned. “Oh, yeah. Curiosity kills them."

  Max snapped his journal shut. "True, but I don't think I've heard anything about it killing fairies."

  "I guess so." She opened her spell-craft menu and set up a Teleport. "I didn't wanna do the Fire Tomb again anyways. It's too easy."

  Chapter Three

  Water poured from the mouths of the decorative stone dragons that frolicked in the fountain at the center of the large circular park in the heart of the city of Valain. An orange sphere appeared, sparkling flakes dissipating from its surface to reveal Max and Kira standing casually as if they were used to it, which they were.

  Max began making his way in the direction of the tavern, holding his journal open to a map of the city. A line highlighted the path to the new waypoint that came in the anonymous message. That was when he realized that his partner was no longer by his side. With a quick glance, he spotted her buying some form of meat on a stick at a strip of food stands lining the side of the park.

  How the hell did she get over there so fast? he wondered. "Hey!" he called to her.

  She turned in his direction, chewing on a skewer of chicken.

  Max tried to look annoyed, but in truth, it was a kind of adorable in an unintentional sort of way. He chuckled to himself before calling to her again, "ASAP doesn't mean, ‘After you buy all the food in the park.’"

  She pulled the skewer from her mouth, taking a bite in the process. "That's what they get for saying ASAP. I have to rebel a bit."

  Max joined her, understanding from experience that there was little point in arguing. She forced one of four sticks of food into his hand. He grumbled but took a bite without further protest. Then they sat in silence, just enjoying the atmosphere and watching players pass by.

  Amongst the six major cities in Noctem, Valain was easily the largest. And since it was the only city under the direct control of Checkpoint Systems, it - and the territories that it ruled over - remained peaceful no matter what was going on in the game. Even when wars broke out between one house of players and another - which was more common than one might think. Like most of the cities in the game, Valain had an overall fantasy look to it but with larger buildings covered in Gothic architecture that towered overhead like skyscrapers. Though Noctem might have been a world of magic, the city also had elements of technology and present-day life mixed in. A stroll through its medieval streets would find taverns full of players taking time off from questing as well as cleverly disguised nightclubs and malls catering to the less adventurous inhabitants of the world. After all, some people just used the system to take back the night while they slept which had always caused a crowd in the heart of the city.

  Airships drifted through the sky, transporting people across a world that
begged to be explored. Joining them was a number of private transport shuttles, mostly carrying the city’s workaholics who spent their nighttime hours making deals and racking up more money than Max would ever see in his lifetime. In fact, business was booming in the city of Valain, so much so, that it had become something like Noctem's unofficial capital of commerce with corporations renting entire buildings of virtual space for their online operations. With a system like Somno out there, things like international travel had become a thing of the past. Hell, Max had even heard of large corporations holding entire trade shows and conferences right there in the city. Not that he would ever be invited to one. Thanks to Checkpoint, it was all kept hidden within the well-designed towers that reached high into Noctem's sky. Business was good and all, but that didn't mean it was allowed to interfere with the game. That would have gone against everything that Carpe Noctem seemed to stand for.

  Amidst all the activity, Kira finished off her three skewers and stood before Max could finish his one. She left him on the bench while she stretched out her limbs. It might have seemed needless since her body wasn't actually real, but the way the system interacted with the user's mind included subtle things such as stiff shoulders and sore legs.

  She raised her arms above her head and leaned to each side, inadvertently allowing the slits on both sides of her dress to shift upwards to show a perfectly formed hip just above the low waistline of her pants. Her delicate pale skin peeked out to say, hey!

  Kira's age was a little hard to judge, standing at only four and a half feet tall, but depending on who you asked, most would put her around twenty. She was cute, that much was obvious. Granted, that wasn't really saying much, since most of the users, especially the ones in the city, had designed their avatars to be easy on the eyes. This, of course, created an overall population that was pretty damn hot, but it also made the more unique characters like her stand out. The features of the fairy race made Kira seem a little more magical than the rest, with her large eyes and slightly pointed ears adding something special into the mix. On top of that, the fact that she weighed so little compared to others infused her movements with a subtle grace that just didn't exist in the real world. Combine all that with her somewhat goofball personality, and she gained a sort of perfect storm of appeal, making it seem like a night with her in your bed might be more fun than most could imagine. A fact that had proved dangerous for Max, as it was occasionally hard for him to stop staring.

  He watched absentmindedly as her back arched exquisitely. She stretched her arms behind herself and let out a quiet sound, a little moan to express her transition into relaxation. That was when Max caught himself eyeing her bare skin visible through the opening in the back of her dress meant for her wings, in what most would call an inappropriate manner. At least he wasn't drooling. Unfortunately, he realized he was leering a second too late, averting his eyes only to meet hers as she looked down at him over her shoulder. Her hair hung down, hiding half of her face and giving her a look that inadvertently radiated sex appeal.

  "Don't make it weird, bro. Don't make it weird." She shook her head at him.

  Max sunk into the bench, bringing one hand up to rake through his stylish yet messy hair as if trying to hide. His skin prickled hot.

  She laughed at his discomfort.

  Then he sat up and slapped one hand down on the bench. "You know what? No. You're the one making it weird, always wiggling that thing around in front of me." He gestured to her rear as the thing in question.

  She tilted her head and placed a finger to her chin. "True, but as you remember, you chose this body for me as part the deal. So, the root cause of said weirdness is still definitely you."

  The weirdness was due to the fact that in their twenty-seven years of life, they had been friends for almost all of it. Also, both of them were men. Not that there would be anything wrong with them finding love in each other’s arms, but Max didn't think of her like that, and he was pretty sure she didn't either. It wasn't on the table for them. They were bros, and that was just how it was.

  Back when MaxDamage24, whose real name was Wyatt Mathews, told Kirabell, also known as Seth Hase, that he wanted to get Carpe Noctem when it came out, they both decided that if they were going to play it, they were going to be the best. In the past, they had gravitated toward teamwork-based shooters. Over time, they‘d learned each other's tactics inside and out. So much so that they appeared to be able to read each other's minds as they worked together in perfect sync. Hell, their friends even complained when the two of them were placed on the same team against them, claiming that it wasn't fair. So, when they read that Noctem would offer a range of experiences, from fun and simple quests to near impossible boss fights referred to appropriately as Nightmares, they were sold.

  In the year before the game came out, Wyatt got a head start by looking over all the pre-release information to learn everything he could about their new world. The first thing they'd needed to decide had been the best combination of races and classes to give them the maximum potential possible - even if it meant that it might be difficult in the beginning. After all, they were far from casual gamers. In the end, it took some convincing and a number of spreadsheets, but they settled on a human Fury and a fairy Breath Mage. The convincing needed was due to the fact that fairies only came in female, meaning Seth would have to explore his feminine side since he had always preferred support classes. He'd tried to back out the deal a couple of times, but Wyatt had simply told him that ‘he was being a baby’ and ‘not to worry about it.’ Eventually, launch day came, and Kirabell was born. After that, it was too late to go back.

  When they had spawned in together in their new forms three years ago, the first thing Kira had said was an awkward, "This is new." Her words had been followed by a burst of uncontrolled giggles at the sound of her own voice, which neither of them ever expected to be so pretty. Max still remembered the judgmental stares they received as she rolled around on the ground amongst the other new players at the spawn laughing her dumb little ass off.

  She wasn't the only one to choose to play as the opposite sex. That had always been common in most MMOs, but since players actually had to inhabit the body they designed rather than just look at it on a screen, it did change things.

  For some, Noctem meant giving people an outlet where they could live as the gender that they felt matched their identity. For others, it was just part of living in a fantasy world and making it as different as possible. Of course, there were also those that chose it for, well, less pure reasons. Granted, most of them got bored with it once the novelty wore off. Kira though never seemed to care about the difference, aside from getting used to being so short. Max had always assumed she had decided not to overthink it. That seemed to allow her to continue her dual existence as both a well-adjusted adult male and an adorable fairy mage.

  As for relationships, Kira didn't seem interested in dating while online and therefore avoided most of the issue altogether. Besides, back on Earth, Seth had always done okay at attracting women.

  Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for Max, who had been single longer than most. As impressive as he was on the battlefield, he seemed equally inept when talking to women in both worlds. A fact that made it even more painful to pal around Noctem with his bro in the form of a magical enchantress.

  "Arrgggg!" Max exclaimed, jumping up from the bench. "You know what? I've been single for like three years now, so at this point, I don't care. This whole thing you have going on here is hot." He waved his hand in a circular motion to indicate her general area, highlighting what he referred to as ‘this whole thing.’

  Kira smirked, cracking a slight smile.

  He continued, "Now obviously, I don't consider you an option because that would be weird. But yeah, I'd totally hit that. And by hit that, I mean, I would wreck that."

  Kira raised an eyebrow. "You done? Got that out of your system?"

  "Yes, thank you very much," Max responded, almost politely.

>   "Okay then." A grin crept across her face. "Wanna touch my butt?" she joked in a sing-song tone as she pushed her rear in his direction.

  Max feigned annoyance to humor her. Then, without warning, he slapped her square on her left butt cheek. The fairy let out a surprised squeak, making his victory clear, and he started walking. "Come on; we're late for a meeting," he added as she lagged behind, straightening her dress and stalling while she waited for the bright shade of pink to fade from her face. Max stopped to glance back. "You coming or what?"

  Finally, she jogged to catch up, taking her place by his side. "You will pay for that." She stared straight ahead. "Oh yes, you will pay."

  "Oh, I know." He smirked.

  Chapter Four

  Max took a look at his map, examining the line that showed the shortest path to the tavern. He tilted his head to the side, making a dissatisfied groan before pulling out his pen and drawing in a few edits to alter the line. As leader of his two-person party, his map changes appeared in Kira's journal as well. It was a detail that didn't matter much since, besides farming, which Max hated, she tended to follow his lead and trust his judgment.

  The custom path set by Max was almost twice as long as what the system's navigation had suggested moments before. He hoped that by taking a detour they could avoid some of the crowds that gathered in certain parts of the city, the worst being the entertainment district. The area was essentially a long street lined with clubs, bars, and other distractions. For those users who didn't care about questing and just wanted to take advantage of a few extra nighttime hours, it was the place to be. Well, to be more accurate, it was party central. With no risk of a hangover in the morning, the area could get pretty crazy, which was why Max and Kira avoided it at all costs.

  It wasn't that they didn't like fun. There was just something about the crowd there that made them feel a little uncomfortable. It certainly didn't help that last time Kira had set foot in the area she had been forced to activate her cage, which was a failsafe option that forbade other users from touching her by creating an invisible barrier just above her skin. Players under eighteen had this option locked in active status at all times to prevent certain activities that might be considered inappropriate. Hence why it had been referred to as a cage.