Learning to Love

by Trinity Wood

  He nods and puts the phone back to his ear. "We're coming together. Yes, we can stay in my old room. Don't want to be any bother. We'll talk later. Don't worry, it's all fine.” As soon as he's ended the call, he relaxes. I don't know what sort of relationship he has with his parents, but it looks like waters run deep.

  I rest my head on his shoulder, and we start kissing again in the afternoon sun. Tui birds call outside, disturbing Daisy from her rest.

  ***

  Sam

  I don’t take girls to my parents' home as a rule. There’s always an exception to the rule, and that was Laura, but we were already engaged when I mustered the courage to take her back home to O’Neills Bay. We stayed in an Airbnb, went to my parents’ for lunch, and that was that.

  My mum and dad seemed to genuinely like her, but after we broke up three years ago mum had some choice words for me. “You’re wasting your life, Sam. Why can’t you find a nice girl like your brother Tom did? One with an actual job? Settle down and stop gallivanting around the world. You’re pushing 30. I want grandchildren.”

  She was being deeply unfair to Laura, who’s an Olympic rowing champion. That’s definitely a job.

  But Mum also doesn’t think what I do is a job. She’s right on one account. It’s more than a job. It’s a passion. Nobody gets to Olympic level without hard graft, but the secret ingredient is passion.

  Laura and I didn’t work out, but mum kept the bee in her bonnet about me abandoning sailing and racing and settling down in a “real job”. This is why I don’t visit her and dad as often as I should. The last thing I need is to get an earful about how dangerous it is, about how it can all disappear in an instant.

  She called today because the daughter of one of the other nurses at the children’s hospital in O’Neill’s Bay told her mum, who in turn told my mum there’s a girl on my Instagram. Typical, small town grapevine. I never post truly personal stuff, so it was a like posting a neon sign over my head.

  The news has likely already gone round the supermarket, the boat club, the Crab Shack café, and the local bank branch. I’d be surprised if the carers in the nursing home haven’t told my Nana about it yet. My dad, who’s oblivious to most things, will have been told on some building site or another. Tom may be Mum’s golden boy, but I feel golden with Ellie by my side. I’m ready to show her off, and what better way than at Christmas.

  “About Christmas. I know it’s also your birthday, but you kept that one quiet.” Her words bring me back to reality with a thud the next day. I run my hand through my hair.

  “I don’t really celebrate. How did you find out?” I’m starting to feel uneasy. What else has she found out? Like a dog with a bone, my mum rang straight away to push to meet Ellie. One of the first things she asked me was whether Ellie knows about Thea.

  She laughs. “I Googled you after we met.”

  I try to keep a neutral tone, but I’m nervous. “And what did you find out?”

  “Nothing to scare me off. Yet.” She thinks she’s hilarious.

  I haven’t talked to anyone apart from Corey and Jay about what happened. It’s something that will stay with me forever. I’m scared that once Ellie finds out, she’ll see me in a different light … and leave. “Good.” I kiss her forehead and pull her closer. She must have read about Laura and decided it wasn’t a big deal. Perfect. It wasn’t.

  “Tayla is away at Christmas. I’ll take Daisy to my parents’ place in Matakana for the holidays, then on Christmas morning we can go to yours.”

  Is she inviting me to meet her parents? I can’t tell. “If you want me to meet your parents before you meet mine, that’s fine.”

  She nods, a little smile tugging at her lips. “How about we drive Miss Daisy there on Christmas Eve, have dinner with my parents, exchange presents, then on Christmas morning make our way to O’Neill’s Bay?”

  This approach makes more sense to me. I’m intrigued to meet her parents and learn what makes her tick. “Driving Miss Daisy, eh?” I like her goofy sense of humor. “We could take her to O’Neill’s Bay, but it’s a long drive. If your parents are happy to have her for a couple of nights, we can fetch her back on the 27th.”

  She relaxes against me, her muscles turning to liquid with each pull of my fingers against her scalp. But I can’t relax. I stay as tense as the rope connecting an anchor to a boat. I’ll get to show her off at Christmas, but what will she learn about me? About Thea? And more importantly, how will she react when she finds out?

  Chapter 10

  Ellie

  Christmas Eve

  I stare at a picture of a purple cat with mile-long whiskers wearing a princess crown, but I think of Sam. The kids run around the room, impossibly excited at the coming Christmas holiday. Their cries and songs and requests blur together, and I think of Sam. There’s probably a dreamy smile on my face, too.

  Someone pulls at my shirt. “Ellie, can we read The Very Merry Pony again, please?” Oscar’s tiny voice cuts through my thoughts. I’ve been daydreaming of Sam again, something I do frequently. Too frequently for my liking.

  I pick up the colorful book again for the fifth time today.

  Four small faces stare back at me with intent and curiosity.

  “Ok, kids. This is The Very Merry Pony, written by a nice author called …” I check the cover again. I can’t concentrate for the life of me. In just a few hours Sam will meet my parents. My heart rate is through the roof.

  “Ashley Parkes,” Oscar whispers loud enough for everyone in the entire center to hear.

  I chuckle. “That’s right, Oscar. Ashley Parkes.”

  Since going public with Sam on Instagram, my life has been manic. My parents found out, so I had to explain, like I’m some sort of teenager. Then all my university girlfriends wanted to know why, how, when, and how often, but I brushed them off.

  A style magazine actually posted our photo together and made it into a fashion feature, with where they thought our clothes were from. They got the value of my gear wrong though, I don’t wear $100 LuluLemons. I’m a Kmart girl at $10 a pair.

  Somehow, I get to the end of The Very Merry Pony, and parents begin streaming through the door to pick their kids up early. Being Christmas Eve, there aren't many kids in today to begin with. When the excited hum of little kids voices turns to silence, and the last kid is gone, us teachers finish tidying up, then have a shared lunch. We swap secret Santa presents. I give Hamida a gorgeous scarf, and she loves it. In return I get a lush box of artisan chocolates from Chloe. Sam and I could eat them in the car on the way up to Matakana.

  I drive home to pick up Daisy, get my bags, and make sure everything is closed up for a couple of days. When I drive up, Tayla’s car isn’t the only one in the drive, and I find my roommate and Sam’s best friend on the front porch engaged in some sort of staring contest.

  I put on my sunniest voice. “Hi, Corey. What brings you here?”

  He’s holding a huge hamper and he pushes it in my direction. “Happy Christmas. And … I’m sorry. Next time, we’re doing dinner at my house.” Corey winks.

  He’s such a charming ratbag, I think I forgave him straight away and take the basket from him.

  “You’re gonna need a bigger gift,” Tayla snaps. “Nahhh. Keep groveling.” Her pink hair swishes. Is she … flirting with Corey?

  Corey pretends to loosen up his t-shirt collar and walks backward toward his car. “Until next time. Happy Christmas, ladies. I’m sure I’ll see more of you now than ever.” His car roars to life and he disappears down the road.

  I raise my eyebrow at Tayla.

  “What? He’s hot. But he’s also a ratbag. Not going to let him off the hook so easily. Anyway, I’m off to Dunedin. Gotta catch the midday flight.”

  I gather Daisy and my bags and bundle it all into my car then take off on the short drive to Sam’s place.

  I made the rather rash decision to go up to my parents in my car to drop Daisy, then switch to his car for the longer drive down to O'Neill's B
ay. It just … felt right. I want to show my parents I'm still me, regardless of who I'm dating. Famous athlete or not.

  Today is the day. We leave for Christmas Eve. Not even a very merry pony can distract me from my excitement. But … it’s not all good vibes pouring through me. Doubt nags at me, too. I’ve barely seen Sam over the past two weeks. We’ve had stolen moments here and there, times when we’ve pulled each other’s clothes off hungrily, but not enough. Every moment felt rushed, his thoughts somewhere else, likely towards the big race for the cup at the end of next year. The race is consuming him in a way I could never have imagined before. I feel like he’s in a snowglobe, or perhaps a terrarium, moving around in his own world, and I’m stuck outside, looking in.

  When I get to Sam's house in Bella Vista, I message him to come down. Wow, he's made an effort. For a start he's wearing shoes and socks. Some dark jeans and a nice casual shirt hug him in all the right places.

  His brow is furrowed. "I don't understand how you convinced me to go in your car. Look at it. It's held together by chewing gum and prayers."

  I can't contain a laugh at that. "She's a nice little runner. I've had her for over eight years now, since I learned to drive. Surely you must remember your first car."

  "I remember alright. It was a Ford Laser Sport 1987, a bit similar to this one. The only difference is mine went to the wrecker's yard, which is what yours should do, too." He knocks on the roof, and one of the side mirrors drops. I reattach it. He puts a duffel bag in the boot, gives Daisy a pat in the back seat, and gets in the passenger's seat, still shaking his head.

  I stroke the dashboard. "Don't listen to him, Dorothy. You've been a very good car."

  He laughs. I blast the music as loud as the old stereo will allow, and we set off northbound towards my parents' place.

  The cheer is short lived, as exactly halfway to Matakana, there's smoke under the hood, and I have to pull over, to Sam's increasing annoyance.

  "For fuck's sake, Ellie. This tuna can isn't even capable of making it a hundred miles up to your folks' place. We're stranded on the state highway with your dog, cars flying past doing a hundred."

  Between us, he knows a bit more about engineering, and he manages to get the car to start again. We get back inside, and he's deadly serious. "You're getting a new car."

  I laugh. "And you're funny. I can't afford a new car. Why do you think I drive this one?"

  "I'm going to buy it for you. Consider it a Christmas present." He seems quite pleased with the thought.

  "I'm sorry but I can't accept it. It's too much. I'll just get a loan from the bank and pay it off in installments." My pride is wounded. I don't earn much, but I'm proud of my work and what I've achieved so far in life. Whatever anyone else says, Olympian or not.

  "How about I buy it for you, and you pay me back?" He's like Daisy with a bone. Once he has something in his sights, he doesn't let go.

  "I'll think about it." I try to shrug it off, hoping against hope he forgets.

  "Don't think about it. It's settled. When we come back from O'Neill's Bay, we'll look at some car dealerships." Sam leans back with a smug look on his face.

  This raises my hackles faster than you can say broken radiator. He thinks he can hypnotize me with those eyes, and I’ll just fall at his feet and do everything he asks just because?

  A road sign for Matakana speeds past, and I let a deep breath out. He's meeting my parents, and it's Christmas Eve. Chill, Ellie, chill. I turn down the radio volume. The tunnel gives way to native rainforest, and native rainforest merges into vineyards on sunny hills. "Have you ever been up here?"

  "I've been through here many times, but not stopped. Seems like there are a few wineries nearby. One time we should come up here and check some out, do some tastings."

  I like it that he comes up with future date ideas.

  I turn off the highway onto a smaller road, then when I see the all too familiar sign for Ako Wines, I turn onto the long driveway. With one eye, I spy his reaction. He seems stunned and rightly so. My parents own a small winery North of Auckland. He may have even tried their wines and not known. I park up and let Daisy out. She feels right at home among the vines.

  "So, what do you think?" I try to gauge his reaction.

  "I don't know what to say. Is this your parents' place?" He's standing in the courtyard, taking in his surroundings like I've taken him to outer space not outer Auckland.

  "Yes. Let's leave the bags for later." I grab his hand and lead him to the massive front door that I open without knocking.

  "Anybody home?" I try to see everything through Sam's eyes. Though large, the house looks very shabby and worn. I'm sure I would ordinarily say it's a house lived in, but with fresh eyes it just looks a bit dirty and neglected. I'm suddenly nervous. Maybe bringing Sam home for Christmas Eve was not the best idea.

  ***

  Sam

  From the moment we turned into the Ako Wines driveway, I've been in a surreal movie with a dreamlike quality.

  It's a winery. Ellie never told me her parents own a working winery. This is huge. Secondly just what the fuck is happening in this house? There are several clocks, and they all tell different times. Does my head in. I'm barely containing myself from going around and changing them all to the right time. Thirdly, I hate to say it, but it's untidy. Huge house, stuff everywhere. Makes me very anxious, like a sensory overload.

  Ellie squeezes my hand. She can tell I'm uncomfortable. Her mum and dad come through a side door, and she hugs them tightly.

  Her mum is crying."We missed you so much."

  Ellie hugs them back just as tightly. "I missed you guys. I've brought Daisy to stay with you for a couple of nights… and more importantly, this is Sam."

  "Mr. and Mrs. Tennyson." I shake hands with both, but Ellie's mum Martha comes in for a hug, surprising me.

  Her dad claps my back. "We heard a lot about you, young man. We're very proud of you."

  I laugh awkwardly and throw an imploring glance at Ellie. Help.

  She throws me a lifeline. "How about you go pick up the bags from the car, and I'll sort out some food and water for Daisy?"

  Ellie's dad Mike accompanies me. On our way to the car and back, I make small talk. "Ellie didn't mention you had a winery. I'd love to try your wine."

  It seems I said the right thing because his face lights up with a grin. "Ellie's such a rascal. We'll give you a short tour, then you can have a tasting with dinner." Mike grabs my bag and I carry Ellie's bag.

  Daisy settles in for the night after having some biscuits. I walk to the verandah and take in the sweet summer evening smell. Cicadas are chirping wildly, and vines are the only silhouettes you can see for miles in the twilight.

  I'm dying to spend some time alone with Ellie. I've barely seen her in the past two weeks. I don't even know if we are going to stay in different rooms tonight. Are her parents old fashioned? I have this image in my head of having to make ropes out of sheets and climbing through her window to get to her.

  Ellie is putting some gifts wrapped in brown paper under the Christmas tree in the lounge, beaming with undisguised happiness at being home with her family. She tucks a strand of dark hair behind her ear, and my limited patience is now threadbare. "Ellie, do you want to show me around?"

  Something in my tone makes her turn towards me, lips slightly open in surprise.

  "Make it quick, dinner will be ready in five minutes." Martha’s words bring me back to earth with a thud.

  Five minutes is enough. Or is it? Ellie joins me on the verandah, and I check we’re out of sight.

  I wrap my arms around Ellie's waist and kiss her with urgency. I grab her by the ponytail and press my hardness against her, so she knows the effect she has on me.

  I hear steps and we move apart, our breathing ragged.

  She puts a hand on my chest. "Later."

  The sound of footsteps goes away, but it's been too close. I must keep my hands and dick off her until later.

  Fr
om the verandah, she points out the various outbuildings that are part of the working winery, and she tells me more about the history, and the variety, of wines they have here.

  I hug her from behind and inhale the intoxicating scent of her. "Wow. It must have been a magical place to grow up."

  "You're joking, right? I hated it. All my friends were in town. We moved here when I was fourteen. I couldn't drive, I was just stuck here, dependent on my parents taking me places." I can't make out the tone of her voice. Sometimes, like this moment, I really hate not being able to interpret other people's cues. I don't know when people are sarcastic. I can't tell in some situations if they're joking or not. More importantly, a lot of times, I can't tell when Ellie is happy or sad unless she explicitly tells me.

  I kiss her head. "I suppose you're right, I hadn't thought of it that way. Your parents seem alright. And they love you very much."

  "You'll catch a cold out there, you two. Time for dinner." Martha, Ellie's mum, echoes all mums in the world whose children are trying to steal more time together with their loved one.

  Christmas Eve dinner is spectacular. Martha's food is Michelin star quality, and I say so. I'm not one for unnecessary compliments, and Ellie understands. The wines are delicious. I try a Malbec with the main and some bubbles Methode with the dessert.

  We exchange some presents with Mike and Martha, but Ellie and I will open ours tomorrow, in O'Neill's Bay.

  "They like you." Three single words from her on the way to our room, but they make me very happy.

  "They're lovely people. I'm glad I met them and found this part of you. I'll buy some Ako wine off them, it would be good to take some to my mom and dad." I follow Ellie up the steps trailing behind her. She's just perfect. I don't know what I've done to get so lucky.

  Her room is airy, full of photos with friends and family, Daisy, and some posters of boy bands. Some I recognize, some I don't. "At least there are no photos of ex boyfriends on the walls."