by M. Robinson
“Cash.” She looked at him. “I got this.” Bringing her gaze back to mine, she added, “He’s right though. Cash will always be in my life cuz I want him to be. You, only cuz our families are close. If I didn’t havta see you or talk to you, I’d be livin’ my best life. Don’t get it twisted, I don’t love you. I don’t even like you. Especially now, kiss stealer. Let’s get this over with. Do it so it’ll be another dare I beat you at.”
I smiled. “Close your eyes for me, baby girl.”
Everything she said went in one ear and out the other. Her words meant nothing to me. She meant nothing to me. People couldn’t hurt you unless you let them, and I would never let her get to me. She was just the girl...
I hated.
Harley took a deep breath and wrenched her eyes shut so tight I could see the wrinkles in the corners of her lids.
Leaning in close to her ear, where only she could hear me, I whispered, “Relax, Toots. I’m not going to hurt you. At least not right now. You’ll like it. I promise.”
“Like I would ever trust you, Jackson Pierce.”
I grabbed onto the back of her neck and pulled her toward me. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Taking one last look at her face, I bent down to reach her mouth with mine.
She sucked in a breath, and I was struck with the smell of cherry from her lips. My pulse sped up.
What was that?
I ignored the fast-paced beating of my heart, suddenly drumming so hard I swore everyone in the shed could hear it. I went right in for the kill instead, not wanting anything or anyone to change my mind.
A split-second before my mouth touched hers, I was knocked over. Unexpectedly rammed sideways. I didn’t have a choice other than to drag her with me.
I didn’t have to wonder who it was.
I already knew.
Cash was going to pay for this, with my fists in his face.
He quickly yanked Harley up from the ground by her hand. “Shit! I didn’t think he’d take you wit’ him.” Once she was fully standing, he asked her, “You alright?”
She shook away the haze, brushing him off. “I’m fine.”
“If she’s hurt, it’s on you!” I snarled.
“You hurt her every day!”
It didn’t matter there were people everywhere outside of this shed, neither one of us backed down.
I snapped.
Letting go of all my pent-up anger.
My hatred.
My frustrations.
Out on him...
“Yeah? Well I’m gonna hurt you next, McGraw!”
Without thinking twice about it, I sprang to my feet and charged him. Tackling him to the concrete.
“No!” Harley screamed, darting around us. “Get off him!”
“Stop being assholes! This isn’t fixing anything!” Shiloh hollered, rushing to her cousin’s side.
We didn’t pay them any attention, wrestling around for a few minutes, each of us trying to gain the upperhand. Rolling around with elbows, fists, and legs flying everywhere while we brawled on the ground.
We heard the girls screaming and yelling at us to stop, like they actually expected us to.
“You’re gonna get us in trouble cuz you’re thinkin’ with your stupid willies!” Harley shrieked. “You got nothin’ to prove! I don’t care who has the bigger balls! Balls are ugly! Ain’t nobody want your balls!”
Cash was able to flip us over, getting on top of me. I was finally going to get a hit on his face when he was suddenly pulled back and off me.
“Cash! What the fuck?!” His dad, Dylan, reprimanded.
Harley’s old man yanked me up from the ground. “Reel it in, yeah?” he ordered, holding me back as well.
“What’s goin’ on? You fightin’ over Harley?” Dylan questioned.
“The fuck they are,” Creed growled.
“No, Daddy! They ain’t fightin’ over me!” she explained, knowing how overprotective he was over her.
“Then why they throwin’ down, baby girl?”
“Cuz Jackson started it.”
“Bullshit!” I blurted. “You. Started it.”
“Me?” She pointed to herself. “How did I start it?”
“By telling them I love you.”
“The fuck?” Her daddy scoffed out, squeezing the shit out of my throwing shoulder.
“What does that havta do wit’ Cash?” Dylan let out.
Harley’s grandma, grandpa, and mom ran into the shed.
“What’s going on?” Mia asked, her eyes scanning all of us.
I didn’t give a rat’s ass if I’d be in trouble, or that her old man was holding me in a deathgrip.
The expression on Harley’s face would be worth it.
Unable to hold it in any longer, I spit fire. Booming, “You think I love you, baby girl? Jokes on you... I hate you. I can’t stand you. I hurt you cuz I can, cuz I want to, cuz I enjoy it. You mean nothing to me. Nothing.”
“Ditto, asshole!”
“Harley Jameson!” her mom scolded, as her old man spun me around, seething right into my eyes.
“Daddy! Don’t hurt Jackson! I got this! I’m a Jameson! We’re badass motherfuckas!”
“Harley!” Mia reprimanded again, stomping her feet.
“That’s what they say! I’m just repeatin’ what Daddy and Uncle Noah say! Why do I get in trouble? If Daddy hurts Jackson, then he’s gonna get in trouble! I’m just lookin’ out for my daddy!”
“You little shit, back off before I teach you some manners. Ya feel me?”
“Oh my God! Creed!”
“Momma! It’s okay, I’ll teach him some manners! I got lots to teach, and he’s got lots to learn!”
Out of the corner of my eye, I blinked and suddenly saw my dad stumbling out in the yard. A bottle of booze in hand, it was like he appeared out of thin air. Making me witness yet another one of my worst nightmares. Playing out in front of me. Nice and slow. For all to see.
There was nothing left of the man.
The doctor.
The father he used to be.
The one that raised me.
Loved me.
Took care of everyone.
He was as lost as my mom was.
We all were.
No one knew what was going on. We didn’t even talk about it. It hurt too fucking much. His head bobbled side to side, weighing down his body. It was obvious he was shit-faced, trying to remain upright and conscious. Taking another swig from the bottle, not caring he was disgracing me.
Himself.
Our family.
It didn’t even look like he knew where he was.
“What’s wrong with him?” Harley muttered, never taking her eyes off my dad.
Noah quickly made his way over to him, gripping onto his arm. “Aiden, what’s goin’ on? Did you drive here like this?”
“Bailey...” he slurred, staggering all over the place. Barely able to stand on his own two feet.
“Jesus Christ, man!” Noah yelled at him, “What the fuck?”
He tried shoving him away, pulling another swig from his precious liquor bottle. “Bailey... Bailey... Bailey...”
Noah shook his head, grabbing onto his arm again. “For fuck’s sake, Aiden.”
No one, including me, had ever seen him like this. They weren’t supposed to find out about my mom. Not like this.
Never. Like. This.
For the second time in the last two years, I knew my life would never be the same. When he spoke the truth, announcing to everyone, “She’s gone... My Bailey... left me. Forever.”
Meaning every last word.
Except it wasn’t my father’s face that would haunt me this time.
It was hers...
Harley’s.
The girl, I hated, the most.
Chapter 11
<>Harley<>
My belly hurt the rest of the day, and not in an ‘I ate somethin’ bad kind of way. I would never forget the expression on Jackson’s face when he saw his dad st
umblin’ around. Then again when he said Aunt Bailey was gone forever.
It was like a bullet pierced his heart and his dad was the one who pulled the trigger. It was the worst feelin’ ever. I hated Jackson with every part of me, but in that moment, I felt somethin’ for him I never had before.
Sadness.
I didn’t understand what was goin’ on. The adults made all the kids stay outside while they handled Uncle Aiden inside behind closed doors. Jackson didn’t say another word to any of us, not even to his brother who looked like he felt.
Like all of us felt.
Awful and afraid.
I had so many questions with no answers.
My parents didn’t speak a word on the way home. Although, at one point, my daddy reached over and grabbed my momma’s hand. He kissed it before placin’ it in his lap for the rest of the drive home. As if he needed to hold her any way he could.
I knew one thing for sure, whatever was happenin’ in Jackson’s family was really bad. Not in an everythin’ would eventually be okay way.
“Momma, what’s happenin’ with Aunt Bailey?” I asked while she was cleanin’ up my room as I got ready for bed.
The fact she was cleanin’ my room this late only proved my point that this really was bad. Momma only cleaned this heavily when she needed a distraction.
She sighed, noddin’ for me to get into bed. I did as I was told as fast as I could, wantin’ to hear what she had to say. Momma swiftly sat beside me, pullin’ my wet hair away from my face to look into my eyes.
“Baby, I don’t think you’ll understand. I barely understand it.”
“But you’re a grown up and adults know everythin’.”
“Sweetheart, there are times in life where even adults don’t understand things.”
“You’re scarin’ me.”
“Don’t be scared. What I can tell you is the Pierces are a part of our family, and we’ll be there for them every step of the way.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, confused. “Is Aunt Bailey sick?”
She nodded. “Yeah, Harley. She’s very sick.”
“But Uncle Aiden is a doctor, so he can find a way to make her better, right?”
Her eyes watered. “You need to go to bed, baby. You have school in the morning.”
“Is she gonna die?” I questioned, ignorin’ her.
“Oh, baby...”
“Momma, I don’t want her to die. She can’t die, I love her. Jackson needs his momma, so does Jagger. She’s everythin’ to them. She’s Uncle Aiden’s lobster.”
“I know, honey, I know,” she expressed in an upset tone, bendin’ over to kiss my forehead. “I love you so much, Harley. I wish I could explain this to you, but I don’t have all the information yet. I promise once I know, I’ll tell you. Okay?”
I nodded, feelin’ an ache in my heart that wouldn’t go away for nothin’. Not even her reassurin’ words helped ease the pain in my chest.
For Aunt Bailey.
Uncle Aiden.
Jagger.
Jackson.
“Try to get some sleep, baby girl, yeah?” Daddy said from the door, leanin’ against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest.
“I’ll try.”
“I love you, Harley. You’re all I ever wanted. A baby girl just like you. Ya feel me?”
He always told me this, but tonight there was a different gleam in his eyes.
“I feel ya, Daddy. I’m pretty awesome.”
He simply smiled, though he was laughin’ through his stare.
Momma’s eyes were waterin’ from listenin’ and watchin’ our conversation. She always got emotional when she watched Daddy and me together. I knew it was because he was her hero too.
Leanin’ in, she kissed my head one last time before turnin’ the lamp off on my nightstand. Once they shut my door, I don’t know how long I just laid there wide awake. My mind spinnin’ over everythin’ that had happened.
For the first time in my life, my parents didn’t make me feel better, didn’t even try. They didn’t want to lie to me, and that was a hard truth to swallow.
Which only meant Aunt Bailey, Jackson’s family... might not come out of this alive.
I took a deep breath at the thought and closed my eyes, tryin’ to keep my tears locked inside of me. I stayed there exactly like that, hopin’ this icky feelin’ would go away. But for some reason I couldn’t explain, I felt him.
Deep in my bones.
He was right there.
My eyes snapped open and my feet began to move on their own, walkin’ over to the balcony off my bedroom.
My parents’ room was on the other side of the house, but still, I quietly slid the doors open. Careful not to make a peep.
For the second time in a matter of seconds...
I. Felt. Him.
My heart sped up, my pulse quickened, and my feet continued to move forward.
I could see him in the moonlight, walkin’ down to his dock. Except he didn’t stay there. He jumped off it and went to the shoreline instead.
Holy crap! I did feel him.
Our houses weren’t close to each other if you were drivin’ on the roads, but on the back of our properties, we shared a huge lake.
Just do it, Harley. Go down there. Go talk to him.
I wouldn’t get any sleep until I found out what was goin’ on. I’d never snuck out of my house before, but at this point, I didn’t have a choice. I needed answers, and the only person who could give them to me was the boy I couldn’t stand.
It was him or no one.
My parents never checked on me after they shut my door for the night, but just in case, I went back to my bed and made a fake Harley with pillows. Makin’ it look like I was still snoozin, safe under the covers.
Without carin’ about the consequences if I got caught, I snuck out of my house. In less than a minute, I was runnin’ down to my dock and grabbin’ my paddle board, carefully placin’ it in the water.
The lake was dead calm. You couldn’t even hear a fish flappin’ around. Makin’ it easy to make my way over to him.
One stroke.
Ten strokes.
Thirty strokes of my paddle.
It felt as though I blinked, and I was standin’ by the shoreline with him. His eyes instantly connectin’ with mine. There wasn’t even a hint of shock written on his face that I was right in front of him.
Almost like he knew I’d come.
Did he feel me too?
I opened my mouth to ask him what was goin’ on, but he abruptly shook his head at me. Silencin’ me, as if he thought I was gonna start in on him.
Did he really think I was gonna pick on him? Knowin’ somethin’ was up with his momma?
“Not here, Harley. Anywhere but here,” he muttered, loud enough for me to hear.
I had the overwhelming urge to yell that I would never be that insensitive to him. That I would never use his hurt for whatever was goin’ on with his mom against him.
That I...
That I...
That I...
Would never not care about what he was goin’ through in this situation.
I may have hated him, but there was a line I wouldn’t cross.
And his momma was it.
There was so much I wanted to say to him, so much he needed to know and hear. Startin’ with how my family would be there for them. For him. Tell him no matter what, our hatred for one another didn’t stop them from being my family.
I hated Jackson, but he was my boy to hate.
All mine.
“I’m sorry, Jackson. I’m so sorry about your momma,” was the only thing I managed to choke out.
“So, you know? You know she has Dementia?”
I gasped, jerkin’ back. I imagined it’d be bad, but I never thought it would be that bad. We just learned about dementia in school.
“Oh. My. God!”
“You fuckin’ brat!” He was over to me in three strides, gettin’ right in my face.
> The sudden movement knocked me off my board and my butt fell hard into the water.
“I knew it!” He hovered above me like a beast, glarin’ down at me with so much hate, I nearly jolted out of my skin. “I knew you’d come over here and rub it my face! What, Harley? Trying to be nosey? Want to tell me how I don’t deserve a mom? How you’re happy this is happening to me? How you can’t wait until she’s gone, so you can see me cry? See me sad, miserable, dying without her?! How much you hope I lose my mind too? That I don’t remember you! Or my family! Or my life! That’s what you want to say to me, right?! Tell me, baby girl! Tell me all the things you’ve been saving up to say to me! Tell me right now!”
“Oh my God!” I repeated with wide eyes, surrenderin’ my hands out in front of me. “That’s not why I came over here!”
“Bullshit! You’re so full of shit! You want to hear what’s going on, Nancy Drew?! You want to know how long she’s been losing her shit? How she would forget her keys, her cellphone, her purse... how it started off with small things that became bigger things? Little by little, she started forgetting football games, parent-teacher conferences... dinners, meetings, dates with my dad! How we thought it was only cuz she was overwhelmed? How maybe if we would have got her checked out sooner, they could have done something? How we let it go on for an entire year when my dad is a fuckin’ doctor? Tell me, Harley! Am I telling you everything you wanted to know?!”
“I’m not the enemy, Jackson! I’m here for you!”
“The fuck you aren’t! You’re always the enemy!”
I tried to get up. “Can you just let me—”
He loomed over me, knockin’ me back down. “Did you know that my parents were trying to have the baby girl they always wanted? Did you know that maybe that could have triggered something in her mind to lose it? Huh? Tell me, smarty pants! Since you’re so smart!”
I rapidly shook my head. “I didn’t know that!”
His hatred-filled eyes deepened while he panted profusely, his body shaking.
“I’m sorry, Jackson! I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed, my own eyes brewin’ with tears.
He’d never seen me cry. Ever, but there was no controllin’ it. I’d never wanted to cry more in my life than I did in that moment with him.
Showin’ him my pain.
