by Brynn Hale
“Maybe, but Charlotte doesn’t like to remember back to the war either?”
“Might be a bonding force between them.”
“I’ll ask her and let you know.”
“Thanks. Other than that?”
“Just keep treating her with respect and make her feel safe.”
“Thanks, again…Dr. Lyons.” I rarely use his real professional title in the club, but my woman’s life is in his hands. He deserves the respect.
“You’re welcome, Crow. Now, get some more sleep and I’d say let her sleep in as long as she wants to. Rest is good for the brain and body.”
“Yeah, and we didn’t really get to sleep until about an hour after I saw you last.”
He smiles. “Good to hear. Everything come out okay?”
“Everyone came perfectly.”
He chuckles. “Even better to hear. Okay, you get some rest, too. I’ll have Slater move the board meeting to the afternoon.”
“That would be great. Have a good rest of the night.”
“You, too, Crow.”
I blow out a big breath before opening up the door and she’s already curled up on her side and sleeping. I slip back in and spoon to her back and then I feel her body hiccup.
“My star, what’s wrong?”
“I thought that I’d put all that behind me. But even here, the past gets to me.”
I knew her pain. I’d done the same and it didn’t work. Running only made the problems chase you.
“Hey,” I brush her ringlets from her face. “Maybe it’s just going to take some time and maybe a little help. I’m here for you.”
She rolls to her back. “Are you sure? Sex can be just sex, Crow. I don’t want you to think that I can’t—”
I cover her mouth with mine and kiss her slowly. Gently. Kindly. “That wasn’t just sex, Sasha. That was me making love to you and I’m going to do it a lot. Actually, every moment we’re together is me making love to you. Whether it’s with our clothes on or off. Granted, off was pretty spectacular, but I’m going to take care of you.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.” I peck her lips one last time, can’t get enough. “Okay, the doc says you need rest, so you sleep in as late as you want to. As soon as you’re done, we’ll go get some food and I’ll show you my house.”
“And your artwork?” Her eyes light up.
“If you want to see it, sure.”
“Will you lay with me for a while?”
“I’m here for you whenever you need me.” I wrap my arms around her and with her head nuzzling into my shoulder.
This feels right.
“I just want to be normal.”
“Sasha, normal is boring.”
I feel her smile, it’s a radiant feeling.
Her light snores echo the room. I’m nodding off when I feel something poke my stomach. I pull the cover back just enough to watch a tiny foot extend from her stomach. I’d think it was very alien-like…
If I didn’t love this woman and those two babies already.
10
Sasha
Crow was gone from the room when I woke up, so I put on the dress and walked back to the TSS side of the compound.
Gia stands from behind the office glass and meets me. “How are you doing?”
“I’m good.”
“Good to hear. I heard about the fainting, if there’s anything we can do to ease your mind about anything, please let me know.”
“I will. Thank you, Gia. I’m gonna go get showered up.”
“There’s more clothes in your room now. Crow ordered another shopping trip and he’s authorized us to get whatever you need against his account.”
My chest burns. I want a man to take care of me, but I also want to take care of myself.
“Okay. Thanks.”
My stomach sinks thinking of what lays ahead of me. I don’t know what Casio will say. We’d been friends for almost a year. He worked at the corner convenience store. I tried not to regret anything, and I would tell him, but I was afraid of him wanting partial custody of our babies.
Not him and I our, Crow and me. He truly wanted these babies. Two. God, that’s even more crazy.
“What’s that smile for?” she asks. “Not that I’m discouraging it. You have a beautiful smile.”
I smile even bigger. “Thank you. I want to stay here, Gia. What do I do? I want to help out and give back. I have a degree in marketing and experience in acquisitions for the army. Put me to work.”
Her smile matches mine and her dark eyes sparkle. “You take some time. And then maybe next week we’ll talk. We want you to be settled and comfortable. And you might have some things to work out…”
The way she trails off, it’s clear she knows that my life is both wonderful and wonderfully messed up now. And it’s too true.
“You’re right.”
“I’m here for you, Sasha. No matter what. But you’ve just left an abusive relationship. And you’re in a new place. And pregnant with lifechanging twins. And…you’re exploring a new…relationship?” She rubs my arms. “I’m not trying to discourage you, I’m trying to manage your expectations even of yourself.”
“I know. I tend to make kneejerk reactions. I joined the military without knowing what I was really doing. It overwhelmed me. And I jumped into a relationship and got burned. It made me cautious to love again, but then I met Crow. He’s…special…like a unicorn—unique.”
“I can imagine that. Enjoy your time here we’ll be ready to put you to work when you’re feeling you’re settled.”
“Thanks, Gia.” I sigh and rub a hand over my belly as one of the babies kicks. “Wow, that was a good one. You want to feel.”
Her face whitens from creamy tan. “I’ve gotta meeting to get to on the club side. If you have any questions, that’s Della, Slater, the club President’s wife, in the office, she’s a doll and she can help you.”
“Thank you.”
She walked away and I could tell that I’d upset her by asking if she wanted to touch my stomach. I wasn’t sure why or how, but I didn’t mean to.
I cleaned up and then went to the office.
“Hi, I think you’re Della. I’m Sasha. I’m new. Is there a way to use a phone?” My cell was back in New York City, but it didn’t have minutes anyway.
“Nice to meet you. No problem. We do try to keep calls to fifteen minutes, but since it’s your first, you can go longer, if needed.”
“Okay, I’ll make it quick.”
“And just FYI, the number’s blocked so anyone you call will only see “unknown” and might not answer. Good luck, Sasha.” Della leaves and there’s something about her that I miss. I never had a sister, but I always wanted one.
I pull out his number from my pocket. I wrote down three numbers before my phone went to the crapper. Casio, my boss at the library who was one of the nicest women I’d ever met, and…Trevor. I’d still have to call him and part of me wanted to just get that one over with first and with the “unknown” factor he might not answer anyway.
No time like the present.
The line rang. And rang. Finally, it clicked on.
“No fear, the Trevmeister is here.”
I roll my eyes. “Hello, Trevor.”
“Who is this?” he knows, but he’s going to make me pay. He always liked seeing me squirm.
“Trevor, it’s Sasha. I’m only calling to tell you that the baby isn’t yours. The dates don’t line up—”
“You fuckin’ skank.”
And with that, I’m done. “Bye Trevor, have a nice life. I’m done.”
“Bitch, you’ll be done when I say you’re—”
And I hang up.
One down.
I call Mrs. Whitmore.
“Hello?” she always seems to be asking a question with every statement.
“Mrs. Whitmore, it’s Sasha.”
“Sasha, darling, are you okay?”
And my heart soars. It’s good to talk to her. To remember the good
of where I’ve been when so much went wrong. Mrs. Whitmore gave me the money to make it out here. She knew I needed to get away. I’ll pay her back as soon as possible.
“Mrs. Whitmore, I only have a limited amount of time, but as soon as I get a phone of my own, I’ll give you a call.”
“I’d love that, Sasha. Or write me. You know that I love your handwriting.”
“I remember. I’ll do that, too. Bye.”
“Bye, sweetheart. Have a wonderful day.”
I think I will.
And then I stare at Casio’s number. This could be the one that really creates problems.
I dial each number slower than the one before it.
“Hello.”
“Casio?”
“Sasha, thank god. How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m in Kildare, Nevada. I’m at a home for women.”
“It’s been so long. Are you still with Trevor?”
“No, I’m not. I left him. He…he wasn’t good to me.”
“Shit. I knew I should’ve called you. Do you need money to get home? Did someone kidnap you? If you’re in trouble, say ‘hola’ and I’ll be on my way.”
His concern is totally Casio. He stopped working at the library and got a great job doing home health care. Something he loved to do. I missed him at the library, but I “I’m okay. Actually, I’m great, but I have something to tell you.”
“What?”
“Casio, I’m pregnant.”
“Congratulations!”
“Casio…the babies, twins, they’re yours.”
There’s a long silence and I pray he hasn’t disconnected. I don’t expect anything from him, but I want to know he’s okay and I want to be okay, too.
“I’m…I don’t know what to say. Do you want me to come marry you? Is that why you’re there?”
“No, I don’t love you, at least not like that. I met someone.”
“Does he want to raise the babies?”
“I…I don’t know, but I think so.”
“Sasha, I’ll be a father to the babies, if you want me to or I’ll sign off my rights. Whatever you want, my friend. And…I’m sorry to put you in this position.”
“I know, but you know what, I’m considering this a blessing. These babies—and yes, twins—are what I need and want. They’ve brought happiness into my life already.”
“I know that our time together was because we needed to feel something other than scared, Sasha. I hope you’re not scared. I’d hate to think you’re scared.”
“I’m not. I feel like I belong here, Casio.”
“Then you tell me what you want me to do.”
“I’m not going to take your rights away, but I want your blessing to raise these babies with Crow.”
“Crow?”
“It’s a…nickname.”
“Cool. You have my blessing. I’m sure this was weighing on you. Please…know that I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you. And thank you for the gift you gave me.”
“I think the condom company gave you the gift.”
I laugh and I realize that the whole world that tilted yesterday when I met Crow, but now…now I’m right again. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you when I have my own phone.”
“Okay. I wish you the best, I hope you know that.”
“I do and I think that I’ve now got the best, Casio.”
We do our send off and I lean back. The best. Damn, for a man who’d never had sex, I think thirty plus years of pent up sexual frustration made for one volcanic sex machine. He was gentle and yet when I asked for it hard, he gave it to me. He’s a beast under the sheets and I can’t wait to be under him again soon.
Dr. Lyons—Blade—steps into the entry area. “Hello. How are you feeling?” he asks when I step from the office.
“Pretty tired, but I slept in and now I’m really hungry.”
“You need to start eating every four hours while you’re awake. Small meals. Can I talk to you in private?”
“Is something wrong?”
“Your test results are back and there are some things to discuss.”
“I want Crow with me.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
We walk to the other side. Gia was right, I need to take some time and just get used to be the new me. The new normal.”
But normal is boring. Warmth of his words comes back to me. He’s right. I don’t want to be normal, I want to be better. I want to be less unhappy. I want to be less scared. I want to be… me.
“Crow…” Blade nods him over from where he’s standing in a doorway.
Crossing the room, he has such swagger. Such surety in his steps. And when he smiles, his mustache sweeps up into happiness, too.
“Wow, I’ve never seen him smile…” The sentence is said with a little concern, but mostly happiness for Crow from Blade.
“Get used to it. He’s gonna be smiling a whole lot, Dr. Lyons.” I turn my back to Crow and flick my eyebrows up and down.
He lets out a big laugh.
Crow’s arms wrap around me. “Everything okay?”
“Dr. has some results. I wanted you with me.” I look up at him.
“I’m here for you, my star.”
We go into what they call a bin, just a small room, but it seems they have names for certain things to make it more like this is a special place. It’s unique.
After we’re all sitting, Dr. opens the file. “Sasha you have extremely low iron. That’s what’s causing your fainting. I still think you should get some mental health assistance, but we need to get you on some iron pills, and you have to start eating every four hours.”
“I’m on it. I’ll make sure it happens,” Crow is so sure with his words.
Dr. Lyons nods. “I talked to the OB at the hospital today and she needs you to bring your blood pressure down. You’ll need to be on bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy.”
“So I get to wait on her hand and foot?”
“Seems like it, Crow.” Dr. Lyons nods as he closes the file.
“You don’t have to do—”
Crow’s lips press to mine. “Yes, baby, I do.”
“I’ve never been so happy.”
“And it’s going to continue for a very, very long time.”
Just twenty-four hours ago, I was afraid and felt trapped. But now, I feel secure and loved.
Loved.
Dr. Lyons stands. “Okay, Crow, she’s in your hands. Sasha, you have an appointment at the Kildare Women’s Care Center on Monday at nine. If you need a ride—”
“She’s got a ride, Blade.” The way Crow says it is a done deal. And I love it.
Dr. Lyons leaves and it’s only…us.
Crow stands and paces the floor.
“Crow, is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not.”
My stomach crashes and I feel lightheaded, but I fight it. I won’t faint again.
“What’s not okay?”
“Me.”
I should have known. Too fast. Too eager. Too reactive. That’s me.
“What’s wrong? And you can be honest with me, even if it hurts, I’ll understand.”
“I don’t want you to hurt ever again, Sasha. I want to be the one who takes away your hurt forever. I want to be there for the good and the bad.” He kneels in front of me. “Baby,” he touches my stomach. “My babies. I want all of you in my life forever. Please, Sasha, say you’ll marry me and let me be the man I’ve always wanted to be with you by my side.”
“I love you, Lennox,” I whisper in his ear. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
“I’m in love you, Sasha and I don’t care who hears me.”
“Then you should let everyone know, I guess.”
He helps me up and walks us hand-in-hand into the Great Bin room.
“Attention everyone.”
Forty sets of eyes gaze on us and I squeeze his hand.
“Everyone, this is Sasha Bensley. I stand before you to claim Sasha as m
ine. She’s said she’ll marry me and…and she’s made me the happiest man on the earth.”
Everyone hoops and claps.
“And…we’re having twins!”
Everyone stands and the noise is deafening.
“I’m ready to stand by your side, through the good and bad forever, my star. I love you, Sasha.”
“I love you, Crow.”
And that’s a punch to the gut, in a different way. He loves me and I’m not afraid.
I shot into his heart…like a shooting star.
Epilogue
Crow
I stare down into two basinets. Two. My heart grew today.
I have to stand back to look at the name cards. I’m hoping I’ll be able to tell them apart soon.
Logan Landon Wright.
Lucas Lennox Wright.
Logan’s the older brother. Just like Landon and me.
I glance back and Sasha is curled up getting some sleep in. I walk into the hallway and down to the concessions. I’m considering my first cup of coffee in three months. She couldn’t have any, so I didn’t have any. But desperate times deserve desperate measures.
“You still take it black?”
A long shiver travels my spine. It’s got to be my imagination. I bring my eyes to the glass of the front of the drink machine and I stare into a face that’s so similar to mine.
“You’re supposed to be dead…”
His hand lands on my shoulder. “I’m not.”
I spin and I hug my brother. I hug that motherfucker for all I’m worth.
“What the hell, Landon?” I release him and push on his shoulder. “They told me you were dead. They made me believe you’d been blown up five years ago.”
“It was part of the job.”
“And now?”
He leans against the doorway to the concessions room. “Technically, I’m not supposed to be here, but I couldn’t stay away anymore. I needed to tell you that I’m proud of you brother. You have everything. A beautiful wife. Two handsome babies. And a life that I’ve never had. You have it all and I’m fucking jealous.”
“You’re not back?”
“Not yet. I’m working on it. Only a couple more jobs and then my contract with…well, I can’t say…but it’ll be done. Red Star Rebel Squad will be over soon.”
