Lochlan (Broken Deeds MC, #5)

by Esther E. Schmidt

  Shit, I’m pretty sure no other man can set my soul on fire because Lochlan already managed to fully scorch it...dammit, he might even have branded his name on there. I’m pretty damn sure no other man can live up to his standards so, celibacy it is.

  It’s a twenty-minute drive to the party so Sophie and I talk about how Gavin proposed to her and then she goes on about an audition she and Gavin had this week. The both of them have worked together before and they do so flawlessly. I hope they get the job and it kinda makes the feeling itch for myself to get back to work since at this point in my life I have nothing else but my career left.

  We get out of the car and when I’m about to say something to Gavin, my heart freezes in place because waiting off to the side of the entrance is Lochlan. The man is wearing a black suit, black shirt, black tie...all black as if he burst up in flames and left a hot sculpture of coal in its trace. Uh huh. That. Smoldering. Hot.

  It should be illegal the way he makes my pussy throb with the reminder this man was inside me. It’s like a ‘Lochlan was here’ beacon. Also, the reminder of me walking out of the door and now suddenly he’s standing here...why?

  “Go on inside, I’ll find you guys later.” Sophie nods at my words, but Gavin is giving me a questionable look. “I’m fine, I see a friend I need to talk to before I go in. I’ll be right behind you guys, no worries.” Gavin gives me a nod now too and places his hand at Sophie’s lower back to guide her inside.

  “What do you want, Lochlan?” I sigh when I reach him.

  His eyes slide over my dress and it makes me grab hold of my clutch tighter out of pure frustration. Or to prevent myself from reaching out and sliding my fingers over his jacket with him looking so smooth. Dammit.

  “I’m your date for tonight,” Lochlan simply states.

  “What?” I squeak, totally not expecting his weird answer.

  “Keep it down, Xena.” I hear Kray from behind me, making me spin around.

  “Oh, great,” I mutter. “You brought Team Tag along.”

  “Team Tag?” Lochlan chuckles.

  “Tag, you’re it. These two always play together...you know, one tags a girl and they both play. Or so I’ve heard, no judgement there.” I glance back at Kray and North and give them a wink before I connect my gaze with Lochlan. “Hence Team Tag.”

  Suddenly I’m curious about not seeing these two apart from each other, and I direct my question at either one. “How did you two get together in the first place, because I know your brothers and all...but not by blood. So, how did you meet?”

  Kray and North glance at each other before North speaks up. “We shared the same annoying ex.”

  I manage to keep a straight face and only give them a smile with a slight nod as a thank you for answering my question. But for real...since then they make sure to have each other’s backs? To prevent it from ever happening again? Test the hardware together?

  I snort at my own train of thought but drag my attention back to the annoying man I need to deal with. Not to mention the fact I have no choice since he’s turning me and steps closer, demanding my full attention by dragging me away from North and Kray.

  Screw this, if he thinks we’re going back to whatever it was we were, he’s dead wrong. “I’m not your date, but I’m sure Team Tag doesn’t mind entertaining you. Now if you don’t mind, I have a party to attend.”

  Lochlan grinds his teeth but tries to give me a smile. “You are my date, and they’re backup,” he simply states. Again.

  But then it clicks, and with it anger rises again. I lean in close. “I walk out of your room—your life—and you walk straight back because of work? Fat chance I play along, asshole. Go find yourself someone else to extort. I’m done.”

  I can’t even make a quick exit because he snatches my arm and pulls me against him. I’m sure to outsiders it seems as if two lovers are in an intimate embrace. And dammit, I have no legroom to knee him in the balls.

  “Bugsy Speck is here tonight, Xena. I need your help. Besties fight and besties help each other out, even when they’re pissed at each other,” Lochlan whispers in a way too hot breath beside my ear, deliberately using the word besties with a roll of his tongue in an effort to tease and lighten my mood.

  I push him away, not being able to trust my own body with having him this close, and I’m thankful he lets me. “You don’t have besties status anymore,” I hiss. “I don’t even have you listed as a friend.” Yes, I’m butthurt. He’s an ass showing up like this. But then I suddenly remember the facts from the file—the case Lochlan is working on—and this scumbag Bugsy needs to be brought to justice. “Fine. You can tag along for tonight to do your job.”

  His smile is blinding and I feel the need to remind him, “Just work, and leave when your job is done here. And with it, we’ll be done.”

  He doesn’t say another word but places his hand at my lower back. I bite my bottom lip to prevent the gasp from slipping out. Shit. I can’t help the goose bumps from spreading to show what a mere touch from him does to me.

  Lochlan leans in. “You look stunning.” His fingers slide a little lower and I hear a growl rumble through his chest. “You’re not wearing any fucking underwear?”

  “Keep it down, will ya?” I mutter and smack my clutch against his chest. “And it’s none of your damn business.” Oh, but how I wish it was, my pussy rings out.

  Shit. I need to keep him at a distance, most definitely on a no touching term if I want to keep my sanity intact.

  “Are you meeting someone? Ready for a quick fuck?” Lochlan spits, making me smack him again. Okay, keeping him at a distance is no problem at all when he acts like the asshole he is.

  “Ah, isn’t that sweet...a lover’s quarrel,” a voice from our left states, making the both of us turn.

  “Makes the make-up-sex one of the hottest things, wouldn’t you say?” Lochlan smiles at Bugsy, sliding right into job mode.

  A truckload of shit shoved in a bucket. He’s the reason Lochlan is here and now it’s all gone to hell. Instinct takes over in an effort to save the situation at hand. “Not before you grovel, dear. Instead of kissing my ass I think you need to slip to the front and spend some time there.” I easily supply my statement at Lochlan.

  Bugsy’s head falls back and laughter rips out. He shakes his head and addresses Lochlan. “It’s true what they say about redheads then?”

  “I don’t know about all of them, but mine is feisty as hell and well worth the groveling,” Lochlan states, making me freaking blush even though I know it’s all for show on his account.

  “Nice.” Bugsy’s eyes travel over me and it makes me feel dirty.

  Involuntarily I step closer to Lochlan and he slides his arm around me, pulling me flush against him.

  Bugsy gives us a nod. “Have a nice evening.”

  I mutter something I hope comes out nice at the same time Lochlan says, “I know I will, you have a nice night too.”

  “Perfect, kids,” North says. “Way to show off the two of you are a normal couple.” He grins and Kray smacks Lochlan on the back in agreement, both Kray and North look like freaking hyenas.

  I don’t have time to glare because Lochlan is guiding me toward the entrance. To my surprise Lochlan gives my name and he’s even mentioned as my plus one. Even Team Tag seem to be on the guest list too.

  “How did you add your name? Or theirs for that matter?” I hiss.

  “We can do everything we want and need, Xena. You best remember Broken Deeds MC is above the law and doesn’t back down for anything or anyone,” Lochlan simply states.

  Asshole. No one’s above the freaking law.

  “Stop glaring at your man,” North says as he walks past me, making me direct my glare at him. And for real, how can he even see if I’m glaring at Lochlan when he’s coming up from behind me?

  “Your shoulders are tight and you’re leaning away from Lochlan. Relax, Xena, it’s a fucking party. Enjoy yourself,” Kray adds.

  Shit, did I wonder a
bout that out loud? “Don’t dictate what I should or shouldn’t do, Kray. You won’t like my fist up your ass to see how far I can push it to make you a freaking puppet for my own personal enjoyment,” I hiss at a low volume.

  Kray spins around and I can see actual flames dancing in his eyes. Oops.

  “Tone it down, Kray. You know my woman has a sharp tongue. I’ll handle it,” Lochlan says in an effort to talk Kray down.

  “See that you do,” Kray states, and I can’t help showing him my sharp tongue and piercing along with it, flipping him off all at once.

  He just shakes his head and steps away, leaving me alone with Lochlan. Most definitely not what I need right now. Putting up a show so Lochlan can do his job? I’m still pissed at him and this night for me was to get back into my part of the job, not his, dammit. Not to mention how easily these two guys discuss how I need to be handled. Fat chance.

  I grab my phone out of my clutch and shoot a message to Lips, letting her know what just happened and what asshole level these guys have taken shit. My last line is to let her know I’m all for helping them catch these guys, but for real...what it all comes down to? I want nothing to do with Lochlan when this night is over.

  Screw it. I get the feeling all Lochlan will ever prioritize is himself without letting anyone else in. To each his own but my own priority is myself too, and I sure as hell don’t need another person ‘handling me.’

  It’s my damn life and while we had fun, and how I was very willing to carry the load of his heavy burden with him...it’s now clear to me he won’t let me. Otherwise he would have done something to contact me. He’s had over a full damn day to do so, a text, a phone call, show up, anything. And not pop back into my life just because it suits him to do his job. It’s freaking rude.

  “Relax,” Lochlan says.

  Yes, that’s the perfect thing to say to me right now. Throw oil on the fire, that’ll take away the flames of my anger for sure.

  “How about, no. I’ll muster through this evening my way. And let’s get one thing very clear, Lochlan. You and me? The moment has passed. It was fun. You butting in on my evening where I was planning on mingling for my job opportunities just got cut off by you. Even the lowest of friendships aren’t based on egocentric levels. Consider yourself unfriended. Now, you’re going over to the bar and will get me some sweetass drink with lots of alcohol, and keep them coming. I’ll be over there...with my friends.” I spin on my heels and head for Sophie and Gavin who are talking to a producer I recognize.

  Mingle. Smile. Move forward, and make the most of this evening. Words I chant in my head while I try to plaster a smile on my face...one I feel has already died because sadness and regret about losing Lochlan takes root in my chest.

  As if I just lost my best friend all over again. Which is ridiculous. I should let it go, knowing the way I feel about him most definitely won’t ever be reciprocated by Lochlan. And it’s better to cut free—lose him now—then to let him drag me further down and lose myself in the process.

  Chapter 11

  ***Lochlan***

  Cold. Distant. Pissed-off. But so fucking gorgeous. I could see it in her eyes the moment she closed the door on me. She’s right. She has every right to push me away. I know damn well I shouldn’t have let her walk out on me. I should have said something. Hell, the reason we fought was a tiny discussion to begin with.

  A fucking discussion. We should have talked instead of both being highly sensitive and overreacting. And I’m aware I’m the fucker who is failing at opening up enough to have a fucking discussion. I could have easily explained why I acted the way I did and why my brothers were throwing around things that implied her. She deserved as much. But I didn’t.

  The way my heart beats with a twinge of sadness because of the way she acts around me now is making my whole body long to make shit right between us. Hell, she made it clear I don’t even have friend status anymore. What the fuck? I hate the word bestie but now I crave to hear her say that’s the connection between me and her.

  This little fact shocks the hell out of me and I’m glad she makes me step away from her for a moment to get myself under control. Drinks. Get her a drink and get myself one too. I’m making mine a double since I need to calm myself enough to do my damn job. Something I came here to do in the first place.

  Deeds fucking ordered me to go. Or I’ll have your cut. Those were his words. I doubt he’d ever take my cut and ban me from the MC over something like this, but I did lock myself in my room the second Xena walked out of it. Sulk in misery. It’s what I do best, right? But he did take my cut and gave me a damn suit to wear instead.

  “Who’s the dude Xena is talking to?” Kray says from my left.

  “Big shot producer,” North answers before I can glance back to see who Kray is talking about.

  “I know, shithead. I was trying to get him back on track,” Kray scolds North.

  “I’ve never had my life on track, fucker,” I mutter. “Never. But I do realize I have to step up and do something.”

  “That’s our boy.” Kray slaps my back. “Go get your girl. But remember, business before pleasure. Go find Bugsy Speck and snag his attention some more. We need him focused on you, get what we need so we can nail the fucker for every crime he committed.”

  “I fucking know.” I gulp my drink in one go and grab the cocktail I ordered for Xena.

  Go get your girl. Fuck. My girl. I had a whole different girl once upon a time. I still can’t see myself opening up to ever let Xena in and yet not letting her in is causing my chest to ache even more. Fucking twisted. It’s tearing me apart and making my head hurt to think of what to do and I still come up blank.

  Xena is still talking to the producer who has stepped closer to her and is now touching her hip as he leans in to say something. Her head tips back and sweet laughter flows from her throat as she takes a step back. Hell of a way to handle the hands-on guy, I’ll give her that. Doesn’t hold back the fury spiking my veins though. The fucker needs to keep his hands to himself, even if the touch is meant to be innocent.

  “Here you go.” I hold out the cocktail in front of her, creating a block between the two in the process.

  Her eyes meet mine and I can tell she’s anything but pleased with my interruption. I don’t fucking care. Nor do I care if I can’t give her all that she deserves. I fucking deserve something too, even if it’s selfish, so be it.

  I want her stupid rants, weird discussions, insane obsession for food, comfort from her body in my bed, and her sweet character around me all damn day. I have no damn clue how I’m going to handle it, handle her. Hell...if it’s even possible or if she would let me give us a shot, but I’m going to do it. Starting now.

  “And you are?” the annoying producer asks me in a non-caring way.

  I don’t blink twice and say, “Her bestie.” And give the fucker a wide grin.

  Beside me Xena chokes on her cocktail and starts to cough, tapping her chest while holding her clutch. I turn to her and take the glass from her hand and give it to a waiter so she can wipe her eyes and calm down. She’s actually fighting a smile and it shoots a spark of hope through my veins.

  “Hi, I’m Sophie.” A tiny blonde woman is holding out her hand. I take it and she continues on, “And this here is my fiancé, Gavin.”

  I take the guy’s firm hand and know these two are friends with Xena and that she got a ride with them to the party.

  “Lochlan,” I state and turn to Xena. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She clears her throat. “I need a quick break to the ladies’ room to check my makeup. Mind walking with me?”

  I give her a nod and place my hand at the small of her back, guiding her through the room filled with high class people with fancy clothes. There’s music, lots of talking and fake laughter, and I’m missing my jeans and leather cut, feeling way too strung up in this fucking suit.

  “Stop looking like you’re holding in farts,” Xena says with a smile in her voice and I dam
n well feel somewhat relaxed with her not sounding pissed.

  “I can’t help it. It feels like it too in this suit. I’m missing casual clothes where I don’t have to worry about how I fucking look,” I sigh.

  “Just so you know, you look hot in a suit. Come to think of it...I don’t think anything won’t look good on you, so relax.” She gives me a smile while we’re standing in front of the ladies’ room.

  “You need to go in?” I question.

  “Does my makeup look off?” She looks straight at me and widens her eyes that go from left to right, fucking comical.

  It feels like she wraps her fingers around my heart and tugs. The carefree vibe she always radiates and her open and honest actions. Nothing fake or presumptuous; what you see is what you get. Nothing like my ex at all. My ex—if you can call a one-night stand who set you up an ex—suffocated me in all ways while Xena is a breath of fresh air. I need to kiss her and I’m damn well gonna.

  “Your lipstick is off,” I croak, and slowly inch forward to give her a chance to back away.

  She doesn’t. Her pupils dilate and her whole face washes with the kind of longing similar to what’s coursing through my veins. My mouth covers hers, my tongue tracing her lips as she opens for me, allowing me to swoop inside and taste her.

  Fuck. I didn’t realize how damn much I missed her until this moment. I back her up against the wall and I feel her fists grab my jacket to pull me closer. We’re totally consumed with one another until an annoying voice rings out.

  “Great, make out in the hallway. Real mature, kids. The party is inside. Work too. Save that shit for later and get your asses inside,” North sighs.

  I pull back and let my forehead touch hers and two words automatically fall out of my mouth. “Missed you.”

  Her eyes light up as if I just gave her the fucking world. “I missed you too, mostly the chocolates, though. You should text me the address where you get them.”

  “I won’t ever tell, you will only get them through me.” Bullshit, I know, but if I can bind her to me with chocolate, I damn well will.