Run

by Anna White

“Why does he hate you that much? I thought you were just business partners?” I ran my fingers over his shoulder softly in a figure of eight movement and waited for his response. He paused for a while.

  “Something happened years ago, a nasty drug bust gone wrong,” He looked away, and began to look out the window of the spare bedroom. I looked down at my hand that was placed against his chest and took a soft breath outward. “The bloke who was the ringleader flipped on all of us, I knew we were getting raided and I didn’t say a word. I could have stopped people from getting hurt and I didn’t. There was something in it for me at the end if I shut up and I did just that.” He shook his head and I held his face in my hands.

  “Hey, things have changed you’re not like that anymore?” He shook his head again and looked into my eyes, they were clouded over with water and I ran my thumb over the stubble on his face.

  “No Av, I am still like that and I’ve made some pretty shit choices and now I’m paying the price for them.” I refused to believe him. He stilled and I kissed his lips slowly. “I’ve tried to keep you safe since I realised.” I heard his voice crack and placed my fingers against his lips. He shook his head softly “Av, I ent the man you think I am. I’m fucking bad.” I sat up slightly and leaned over him. There were salty tears forming in my eyes.

  “But the majority of what I’ve seen of you is good? So good,” he didn't look me in the eyes, they were looking anywhere but, “the only reason you ever hurt me is because you use and when you do that you aren’t you.” I ran my lips against his and felt him hold my face in his hand.

  “I use to stop myself from feeling because it’s too much to deal with when I’m sober.” I cringed at the word sober. I cared so deeply for this human. Tears dripped down from my eyes and landed on his cheek. I watched as he looked up towards me and wiped my tears away. He didn’t have to say another word. I knew the conversation was over and I was worried I’d pushed him too far again.

  “Haz I,” I stumbled on my words. I was about to admit that maybe I was falling in love with him, but I didn’t want to admit it out loud. I couldn’t do it. We were off limits.

  “Av I told Jay.” My chest thudded as he said the words left his mouth and I looked down at him laying underneath me. “I told him I’d slept with you. I couldn’t breathe after I’d dropped you home.” He shook his head and I sat up, pulling myself away from him.

  “What does that mean?” I stared at the bed sheets beneath us and he rose to sit up too. “Does that mean we’re done?” He clutched my hands in his and ran his thumbs over them.

  “He knows it didn’t happen just once and I’m pretty sure he knows I can’t stop myself with you. Honestly he warned me so many times.” My eyes lowered, I was now more confused.

  “But you said nobody could know?” I watched the colour flood his cheeks and tilted my head.

  “I was very upset when you left and didn’t look back last week. I’ve never slept with anybody sober and I’ve definatly never had sex like that in my life.” His eyes shone differently now and I blushed. I heard him clear his throat and my stomach filled with butterflies.

  “Do you want sex like that again?” I questioned boldly. He shifted in the bed and I glanced at his face. His eyes darkened and he gave me that look. My groin pulsed and my eyes wandered over his physic.

  “I,” he began to talk and I placed myself on his lap. I could feel his erection growing beneath me and I watched as he moved his fluffy bed hair from his face.

  “Do you want to have that sort of sex again?” I asked him the same question again only this time I ran my lips down his neck.

  “It wasn’t just sex for me Avay.” His voice was full of vulnerability and I froze. I heard him clear his throat and placed my head on his shoulder. I ran my hand to his neck and pulled his lips towards mine.

  “It wasn’t for me either.” My words were quiet and I felt his lips against mine. There was a difference in this kiss. It was slow and savouring and hot. My heart pounded in my chest and I could feel myself melting into him. I was losing myself to him and the scary thing was I didn’t mind. Not one bit.

  I left the spare room and made my way to the bathroom down the hallway, there seemed to be a buzz around the place and there were people gathered outside of doorways and congregating in the hallway. I continued to brush past people and felt a pressure in front of me. I frowned and glanced up. He looked familiar, too familiar and he ran his hands down my arms. I tilted my head to one side.

  “I’m so sorry, I nearly knocked you flying.” His eyes were warm and soft and his smile hit his eyes. I smiled too.

  “Don’t worry I have a habit of getting in the way.” His mousey hair was tousled all over the place and he had chubby cheeks. He looked younger and I felt him release me.

  “You look very familiar.” I leant against the wall and watched his eyes examine my face and frame.

  “I can’t say I’ve seen you before now, I’d remember seeing you.” He winked and I laughed a little before I rolled my eyes. “Who are you?” My eyes examined his face, I knew him and I didn’t know how. His blue eyes were too familiar.

  “Avaya.” I muttered towards him.

  “I’m Buddy, it’s nice to meet you.” He reached for my hand and kissed my knuckles. I scoffed a laugh and rolled my eyes before the slam of a door made me look that way.

  “Put her down Buddy,” I watched him smirk and I shook my head. It was like looking at Haz. I tilted my head at Jay and watched him smile “she’s not yours to touch.” I watched Buddy release my hand and heard him clear his throat.

  “She’s down.” I smiled softly at him and looked back towards Jay. He stood leant against his door watching us, he looked sleepy, his black t-shirt hung off his shoulders and I walked past him on the way to the bathroom. I felt him reach out for my hand and he pulled me towards him.

  “That’s one of Harry’s brothers.” He whispered in my ear and I nodded. I’d guessed. I pushed my hands against his chest and smiled as I tilted my head towards the bathroom.

  “I guessed and I’m really trying to have a wee?” I whispered back and felt him release me. I breathed a sigh of relief. I glanced back at them both watching me and raised my shoulders at them. Jay grinned and winked at me.

  “Fucking hell is she your girl?” I heard Buddy’s voice as I turned back towards the door.

  “Not mine no.” Jay's voice was full of humour and I chuckled before I tried the door handle.

  “She single? She’s fucking breath-taking.” I heard Jay chuckle and turned back towards them, Jay was staring at me with a strange look across his face. “Jesus those eyes.” I rolled them as he said it and entered the bathroom. I placed my ear against the door to hear what they were saying.

  “She is but it’s complicated,” Jay started to explain and I heard Buddy laugh.

  “Fuck do you like her?” His tone was teasing and I found myself laughing at him. He was funny.

  “Like who?” Haz’s voice was crystal clear. I could just imagine him in a loose t-shirt and bit my lip.

  “Avaya.” Jay interjects. There was an awkward silence between them and I placed my hand on the door.

  “He probably does, but don’t even go there.” His voice commanded his brother and I smirked.

  “Hey if she’s single, she’s fair game not my problem if you two are too scared to charm her.” I heard Jay and Haz laugh and it was almost melodic. I joined in with them as I sat on the toilet to release my held in wee. I washed my hands with the strawberry scented soap and glanced in the mirror at myself. My hair looked wild, it was the epitome of ‘just fucked’ but I didn’t really mind. They were still stood around the hallway chatting as I exited the bathroom. Buddy smirked as I walked past them and I smiled at him. I watched them stood next to each other, my eyes floated over Haz and I bit my lip. He was bloody beautiful. It took everything in me to not reach to kiss him. I felt myself flushing as I walked through them. They did look scarily familiar. Buddy was chubbier than Haz, h
is face was more round in shape and he was shorter than Jay and Haz. Jay nodded and smirked at me as he looked towards Buddy.

  “He fancies you.” Jay blurted out and I pushed his shoulder playfully.

  “Don’t embarrass him, I’m sure he doesn’t,” I glanced at Haz who was leaning on the banister,

  “Oh he does.” I watched him nudge his brother and I laughed awkwardly “he looks like a love struck dog.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

  “Oh fuck up you two,” Buddy glared at them both and then looked at me, his eyes examined mine. “Your eyes are fucking stunning.” I felt myself go red instantly and shook my head.

  “I’m going to get dressed.” I felt embarrassed to say the least and I walked back to the spare room. I heard them wolf whistling and chuckling like girls and shook my head as I laughed with them and entered the room I’d left Haz in moments before.

  The house seemed to have calmed down, there were no longer people swarming from angles I’d never seen before and I made my way down the stairs. Jay made his way to me on the stairs and I stopped when he reached me.

  “We are all going for dinner tonight, would you come with us afterwards?” His eyes looked torn and I shrugged.

  “Where do you want to take me afterwards?” I raised my brow at him and watched him smile softly.

  “He wants you to know what we really deal with, the kind of people who are around us on a daily basis,” my breathing became slightly quicker and I nodded “it won’t be a nice experience but you’ve gotta know now.” My gut twisted and I nodded before I continued to walk down the stairs to try and find Chlo. She was sat sprawled out on the sofa and I smiled at her. She wriggled her eyebrows at me and I laughed.

  “Buddy’s hot for you.” She grinned and I laughed before I sprawled out next to her.

  “I’ve heard.” I closed my eyes.

  “You’ve proper got him all in a tizz, it’s hilarious.” I internally rolled my eyes. She seemed to find it very funny that he was all hot under the collar. “Haz was proper seething when he was talking about you this morning.” I laughed and sat up to look at her.

  “I didn’t realise he had brothers?” I questioned her and watched her nod.

  “Yeah he’s got a few and two sisters I think.” She watched as I nodded and I reached for the remote for the television and watched her raise her brow. I threw her the remote and watched her scramble to catch it.

  “What do you want?” I shrugged and looked around at the state of the living room, the cushions from the sofa were spread over the floor and there were beer bottles.

  “Anything, preferably soul music, it helps me clean.” I wiggled my eyes and heard her laugh. I reached down to grab pillows off the floor. I heard the surround sound active and the soft sound of Etta James ‘Rather Be Blind’ acoustic version played through the living room and I clapped my hands.

  “Oh God I love this song.” I admitted and she smirked.

  “I’d kill to hear you sing this.” I laughed and began to sing.

  “Somethin’ told me it was over, when I saw you and her talking’, something deep down in my soul said cry girl, when I saw you and that girl walking’ around,” I heard her chuckle a little and got lost in my cleaning not realising I now had an audience. Chloe was still cleaning and grinning towards me. I continued to sing “I would rather go blind boy, than to see you walk away from me child no, I was jealous sittin’ here thinkin of your kiss and your warm embrace…” I watched her wink at the door and jumped as I saw Alfie, Buddy, Jamane, Jay and Haz stood in the doorway. I blushed instantly red and stopped singing. I watched Alfie rub his arms and heard his voice.

  “Fucking hell you’ve got a pair of lungs.” I frowned at Chloe and she grinned. I was shy again and watched her chuckle. The music was still playing in the background and I made eye contact with Haz, he walked into the room and I stopped in my tracks.

  “Keep singing,” He smirked and I shook my head.

  “The mood has stopped now.” I was laughing now and I shook my head as I placed the last pillow on the sofa.

  “We will make a mess more often if we get to listen to that in a morning.” Alfie chuckled at Jay’s words and I rolled my eyes. “Sing something else, keep us all entertained.” I sat on my legs on the off white sofa and shook my head.

  “I don’t have my guitar,” Haz looked up and shook his head at Jay almost instantly.

  “He plays, tell him to get his.” I raised my brow and shot him a look.

  “You play that too?” My words were quieter and he shrugged.

  “I play a lot of things well used to haven’t in a while.” I smirked and shook my head. My mind remembered the time he was going to play the piano at the wedding. I wanted to crawl up next to him and I gazed up at him.

  “Anybody looking forward to seeing mum and dad later?” Buddy took a seat on the other end of the sofa and I heard Chloe groan.

  “I’m looking forward to seeing Juve and your daddy.” I watched Haz grimace at her words and watched as Jay launched a pillow her way.

  “That’s fucking filthy Chlo,” she bit her lip and winked at her older brother. I stifled my laugh.

  “Oh? Your daddy hot?” I wiggled my eyebrows at Haz and watched his eyes darken.

  “Mhm, he’s a fox.” Chloe cackled as she nudged my arm. I chuckled at her and heard Buddy groan.

  “Mum’s a dragon though.” Buddy laughed as he flicked through the music playlist on the television. My gut twisted and watched as Jay’s eyes warmed.

  “Is it any wonder with you lot as son’s?” I scoffed and stuck my finger up in the air and made a hiss.

  “Burn…” both Chlo and I said. I heard them all laugh and I relaxed backwards into the sofa. I loved being around them all like this.

  I had been texting my mum throughout the day. I had promised her I’d be home later tonight and now with the constant changes I found myself going back on my word. I glanced across at Chloe who was half asleep and nudged her with my foot.

  “I think I’m gonna invite mum around for a bit. She’s getting proper worried about where I’m staying,” I began to justify my reasons and watched as she nodded “she saw Haz’s black Audi and I think she’s been on the defencive since.” I chuckled. She probably already knew they were a bad bunch.

  “Yeah invite her around I’ll reassure her.” She opened her eyes and winked before she closed them again. I smirked and text her the address

  Mum: Are you sure that’s the right postcode?

  Me: Yes mum. I’ve just checked it.

  Mum: Okay apparently I’ll be 10 mins x

  Me: See you inabit xx

  I stood and placed my phone in my back pocket before I paced the hallway. Two large hands rested against my stomach and I jumped.

  “What’s wrong beautiful?” My eyes narrowed as I placed my hands over his. His large grey hoodie still clung to him a little and I turned into him. His hood was up and I bit my lip. Fuck he was sexy. I placed my hands on his face and kissed him softly. I felt his hands drop to my arse and heard him groan before he pulled away from my kiss. “People are in the house.” He warned and I cleared my throat.

  “I can’t help it.” I admitted and watched as he smiled softly.

  “I know what you mean, I saw Jay hold you this morning and I literally wanted to kill him.” I laughed a little and ran my thumb over his face.

  “You? Jealous?” I teased and watched him grin.

  “Yes. Extremely.” I ran my nose over his and my breathing hiked a little. He wasn’t releasing me from his grip, his hands were still on my arse and I felt him run his lips against mine again.

  “You should probably stop touching my arse, my mum is visiting in like 10 minutes.” I whispered and watched his brow furrow.

  “What here?” He questioned and I rolled my eyes.

  “Yes here, she saw your black Audi and has been worried I won’t come home and I know that she worries. She booked the day off today to meet up with friends but they ca
nceled so I invited her here.” His eyes widened and he shook his head softly.

  “Av,” he groaned and I felt him release me. I shook my head and tilted it to one side. He was sweaty and I ran my hand over the sweat on his brow and he chuckled. “I’ve been in the gym.” I smirked to myself and cleared my throat as Chloe walked past us towards the kitchen. She examined the minimal gap between us and I watched her wink at Haz. He rolled his eyes and glanced down at me.

  “She knows I’m sorry but she’s gotta.” I muttered and he laughed and shook his head.

  “Nobody but Jay knows.” He stole a kiss and ran off up the stairs, I rolled my eyes and heard the door. My heart pounded and I opened the door quickly. My mum was stood blowing on her hands and I ushered her in swiftly before shutting the door.

  “I thought you were having me on when I arrived at the gates.” I chuckled a little and watched as she examined her surroundings.

  “I’ve missed you,” I leaned in to kiss her cheek and watched her take her coat off. “Do you want a drink?” I questioned and watched as she nodded. She followed me into the kitchen where Chloe was standing with Liam, Connor, Callum and Buddy. I introduced her to them all. Soph was smiling at her and I don’t think my mum had registered that it was her. Chloe flicked down the kettle and I watched as my mum glanced towards her. Her expression was hard and I watched Chlo shift uneasily.

  “So this is my mum Lena.” I said to Chlo who smiled a little.

  “Hi Lena, how do you like your tea?” She was about to pour the hot water into the cup and I heard my breath a little.

  “Strong please.” I smirked to myself. I bet she’d like something a little stronger than tea. She continued to study Chloe and when she finished making her tea I pulled her out towards the hallway.

  “Bloody hell Avaya, it’s no wonder you don’t want to come home, this place is beautiful.” She finally looked me in the eyes and I exhaled as I rubbed her arm with my hand. Her face paled as she looked up. I bumped into what felt like a brick wall and heard her gasp. I watched as he was more groomed than when he left me to shower. His dark navy t-shirt hung off him and his jeans hugged him in the right places. My mum gasped and I smiled at her reaction to him.