Home with the Cowboy

by Mary Sue Jackson

  “Thank you to everyone who helped put this together!” said Willa. “Without all of you, Daniel and I would’ve been throwing darts and doing the coin toss all by our lonesome.”

  The crowd laughed. Daniel headed to the front of the room to stand next to Willa. He leaned in to say into the microphone, “I had no idea this was happening. So y’all should pat yourselves on the back for keeping such a big secret from me.” He narrowed his eyes playfully. “Although I’m not sure I should trust any of y’all ever again, you know.”

  By the time the carnival was over and everyone was beginning to go home, Daniel was impatient to speak with Willa. He was halfway tempted to do it here in the rec center, but he resisted the temptation. He didn’t want this to be overheard, and he sure as hell didn’t want to be interrupted, either.

  The drive home felt like eternity, and then there was all the necessary settling in to be done before he was alone with Willa back at home. He’d done the outside chores while she took care of things inside. Bobby had needed a bath, for starters, and had been shouting and splashing as Daniel had headed out to the barn. Even so, Bobby was still awake and protesting bedtime when Daniel came into the house, and the little boy had gone on to resist falling asleep after all of the activity of the day.

  At last, Willa came to Daniel’s room, her expression tired. “What a day,” she moaned before collapsing onto the bed, still wearing her jeans. “I could sleep for a week.” She yawned loudly.

  “Don’t fall asleep on me yet.” Daniel sat down next to her. “I want to talk to you.”

  Willa rolled over onto her side so she could look up at him. “What?”

  Daniel had thought over the words on the car ride home, but now everything he’d thought of saying escaped his mind. Deciding to ease into the conversation, he said, “What you did today was really amazing, Willa. I can’t thank you enough for it.”

  She smiled. “You’re welcome. You’ve done so much for me that I wanted to do something special for you. Even if I found out about your birthday in a sneaky way.”

  “The fact that you didn’t just throw me a party . . .” Daniel shook his head. “You did something I’m pretty sure nobody else would’ve thought to do. It’s like you read my mind. Putting together a fundraiser in my honor . . .”

  Willa sat up and took his hand. “I’m glad you were happy with it. I really wanted you to enjoy yourself but not feel like you were the center of attention. And when I found out how much you’d given to rec center already—and to this town—I knew I needed to do something to show how much everyone cares about you and appreciates you. Although no one really knows that you donated money to the rec center, of course.”

  “I’m not talking about everyone else in this town,” said Daniel more firmly. “I’m talking about you, Willa.” He cupped her face. “Nobody has understood me like you have. I realized tonight that you’re perfect for me. What can I do to get you to stay?”

  Willa froze under his touch. “What are you saying?” she whispered.

  “I’m saying that I want you to stay.” And knowing this was his only chance, he added, “And that I love you.”

  She stared at him, her eyes as wide as saucers. Then she pulled away until he was no longer touching her, setting off a frisson of fear in Daniel’s heart.

  “You love me?” she repeated. “Are you serious?”

  Daniel suddenly couldn’t catch his breath. “Do you think I’d joke about something like that?”

  “No—I mean. I don’t know what I mean.” She wrung her hands. “You know I’m going back to New York. I’ve told you a billion times.”

  “I know you have, but things have changed.” When she looked away, he moved her chin so she couldn’t avoid his gaze.

  “You know they have,” he continued. “And don’t tell me you don’t care about me, because this fundraiser today says otherwise. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you loved me, too.”

  Willa’s chest rose and fell quickly, and Daniel half-expected her to run from the room. She looked like a rabbit staring down a wolf. Did words of love really terrify her so much? Daniel wanted to wrap her in his arms, but that would probably spook her even more.

  “Stay here with me. Let’s make this thing real. Because I really do love you, Willa Markson.”

  Willa covered her face with her hands. “You can’t love me!” she said in a muffled voice. “And I can’t stay here. You don’t understand.”

  When Daniel tried to take her hand, she wrenched away from him and stood up.

  “Willa—”

  “No, you don’t get it.” Tears fell from her eyes now. “I can’t stay here. I belong in New York. I’ve never belonged in Texas. I’m not somebody who can be a housewife and forget about art and everything that matters to me.”

  Daniel swallowed hard, scarcely registering the words for the hurt that was churning in his gut. “Are you saying you don’t care about me? What about Bobby?”

  Her voice broke, and she sobbed out, “Of course I care about you, and I love Bobby with all my heart. But that doesn’t mean a bird and a fish should be together, even if they love each other. Where would they live?” She cried harder, and the sound of it broke Daniel’s heart.

  He stepped toward her, about to embrace her, but he stopped himself. “Don’t cry, sweetheart,” he said awkwardly. “We can figure this out. Don’t say no just because you’re scared.”

  “I’m not scared.” Willa sniffled. “I just know what’s real and what’s not.”

  Daniel blinked. “So you’re saying that after everything I’ve told you, that I love you, that I want to make this work—” He took a deep breath. “You’re just going to throw it all away?”

  Willa’s face crumpled. “It can never work. It just can’t.” Then she ran out of the room.

  Daniel didn’t chase after her. There was no point. He felt as if his heart had shattered into a million pieces. He’d been so convinced that Willa would reciprocate his feelings that he hadn’t considered any possibility that she’d reject him like this.

  Getting up, he shut his door and locked it, anger making his movements jerky. God, he was an idiot! He’d warned himself, and Uncle James had warned him, too. But he’d been too stubborn to listen.

  Now he’d let his heart get broken. Again. Willa was going back to New York, and what he’d thought they’d had together had been destroyed because he’d opened his big mouth.

  Groaning, Daniel dropped his face into his hands, knowing that this was one heartbreak he would never fully recover from.

  Twenty-Six

  After Daniel had told her that he loved her, Willa had avoided him as much as she could when living in his house. Daniel had also avoided her, although she’d felt his gaze on her when he’d thought she wasn’t paying attention. The tension had even gotten to Bobby, who’d been extra grumpy the week prior to Willa flying to New York for her final interview.

  The ride to the airport had been the worst part. Willa and Daniel had driven in almost complete silence the full hour there, only Bobby’s babbling in the backseat punctuating the silence. Then, when Daniel had helped Willa with her luggage at the departure terminal, he’d shaken her hand. Shaken her hand! Like they were acquaintances sealing a business deal. Willa had been so startled that he hadn’t even hugged her that she’d barely stammered her goodbyes to him and to Bobby.

  “You take care,” she whispered to Bobby as she hugged him tightly. “I’ll miss you so much.”

  Bobby patted her cheek. “Wiwah,” he said with a wide smile. He smelled like baby powder, and it brought tears to Willa’s eyes.

  She lingered, but Bobby soon got bored with hugs and tried to wiggle from her grasp. When a cart came down the lane, carrying passengers, Bobby yelled, “Train! Look!”

  “That’s not a train, bud,” said Daniel, “but close enough.” His gaze skittered across Willa’s before pointedly fixing on the crowd instead. “We don’t want to keep you. It’ll take you a while to get through
security.”

  Willa wanted to protest; she wanted never to leave this spot or these people. But she knew she couldn’t, so she swallowed her tears, said one last goodbye to Bobby, and walked away.

  It was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do—even worse than saying goodbye to Robert and Stacey. At least she’d known that they were together in heaven.

  After arriving in New York, Willa checked into her hotel before deciding to go to Yoroshiku, a sushi place where she’d gone often with Robert, Stacey, and Bobby. It had become Willa’s favorite restaurant; she remembered how Stacey had surprised her with a small birthday party there a year ago. Had it really only been a year ago that Stacey and Robert had been alive, and Willa had lived here in New York? It felt like an eternity.

  Without Robert and Stacey, Willa didn’t have anyone to call to spend time with while she was here in New York. She had some friends who were more like the kind of friends you kept up with on Facebook but never got drinks with. They weren’t real friends. And at the moment, Willa didn’t want to spend time with people who didn’t know her.

  Besides, she could go to a restaurant alone. There was no law that said a woman couldn’t eat dinner alone.

  “Willa!” said Bonnie, one of Yoroshiku’s waitresses. “I haven’t seen you here in forever. Where have you been hiding?”

  “If you can believe it, I’ve been in Texas for the past two months.”

  Bonnie goggled at her. “Jesus, why? Girl, you need a drink. Lemme get you your favorite plum wine. I know how you love that stuff.”

  Willa thanked Bonnie and glanced at the menu, which had changed somewhat since she’d last been here. She inhaled the smell of fresh fish and miso, her stomach rumbling with hunger. She desperately needed not only some plum wine, but some tempura and an entire plate of her favorite sushi: tuna, yellow tail, and eel.

  “I’m surprised you’re here by yourself,” said Bonnie as she placed the plum wine in front of Willa. “Where are you friends and their baby?”

  Deciding that she didn’t want to answer any painful questions, Willa lied, “They’re out of town right now.”

  “Aw, too bad. That little boy is a cutie.”

  When Willa got her meal, she ate a few rolls, only to discover that the food she’d once loved didn’t taste the same. It wasn’t that the restaurant had gone downhill, but for some reason, the sushi seemed tasteless to her. Even a larger amount of wasabi burning her tongue wasn’t enough to wake up her taste buds.

  Had Texas—and Daniel—really changed her that much? What was wrong with her, anyway?

  Willa hated that she’d hurt Daniel, but he didn’t understand that her staying in Texas wasn’t an option. She’d worked too hard for this opportunity. Besides, she wasn’t meant for a life in Texas. She’d known that for a fact ever since she’d been a kid trying to fit in among the people of her hometown and failing miserably. At least in New York, she wasn’t considered some oddball.

  “Something wrong with the food?” said Bonnie.

  Willa was already full despite having only eaten about a third of the food so elegantly presented on the combo platter. “I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought. Could I get a box for everything?”

  Willa swallowed the last of her wine and walked back to the hotel. As she opened the door to her room with her key card, she looked around and realized she didn’t have a fridge, and stood there a moment with the box in her hand, feeling stupid. Her face cleared and she grabbed her key card, headed down the elevator and back outside, and gave the rest of her meal to a homeless man. Returning to her room, she watched TV until she was tired enough to get ready for bed.

  Her thoughts inevitably strayed to Daniel and to Bobby. She missed them already, so much so that she picked up her phone and almost called Daniel. She could tell him she was calling to talk to Bobby. She shook her head at herself; he’d hear the lie in her voice. Besides, Bobby would already be asleep. She’d be better off waiting until tomorrow.

  She put her phone back down and turned off the lights. Sleep eluded her. The sounds of Manhattan kept her awake long into the night: honking cabs, people shouting, and the buzz of the city all combined together into a deafening noise that crept in even through the white sound of the fan unit by the window. She missed the quiet of a country night. She’d gotten so used to listening to the crickets singing her to sleep that she hadn’t realized how much she’d miss them now.

  “You’re being ridiculous,” Willa muttered to herself. This was New York—her home. The city where she could make her dreams come true. She was just tired and jet-lagged.

  Closing her eyes, she finally fell into a restless sleep that ended too soon with the sound of her phone’s alarm clock.

  The final interview went off without a hitch. Considering all the roadblocks she’d overcome to get to this point, Willa had been shocked that everything had fallen into place so easily. It almost felt like fate.

  “I’ll make my decision within the next day or two,” said Grayson. “Expect a phone call soon.”

  While Willa would be in New York for the next two days, she half-expected that Grayson wouldn’t make a decision until next week. He didn’t seem like the type of guy to care that he was making anyone wait on pins and needles for his decision.

  He called the day after her interview.

  “You’re my number one choice, and I want to offer you the job,” Grayson said without preamble.

  Willa couldn’t believe it. It seemed unreal that after everything, she’d gotten the job. And yet, as she sank down onto the hotel bed after hanging up, she wasn’t jumping up and down with excitement. She simply felt . . . nothing. Or if she felt anything, it was confusion that she didn’t feel happy.

  The next day, she met with Grayson at Sensation. Wearing his usual immaculate suit and tie, Grayson cut an intimidating figure, even when Willa already knew she was his number one choice.

  “Good, you’re here. We have about half an hour before my next meeting.” Grayson typed something on his phone before turning his attention to Willa. “What questions do you have for me?”

  “You said you wanted to talk about the job duties. Did they change since you posted the job?”

  “Not change so much as more things have been added on. We recently had one of our best employees move away, so you’ll be taking on her duties for the time being.”

  Willa frowned. “Why not hire someone else to fill that position?”

  Grayson grimaced. “Because I don’t want to spend the money,” he said frankly. “Besides, Megan only worked part-time. There’s no reason why you couldn’t take on her job as well. That is, if you really want to work here.” He cocked a questioning eyebrow.

  Willa ignored the implication and asked for more specifics. He finally gave in and told her what the additional duties would be—some accounting, some calendaring, and anything else that needed to get done—which Willa could foresee adding an additional ten to twenty hours to her already packed forty-hour work week.

  She should’ve been flattered that Grayson thought she could do the work, but she felt only a vague sense of disappointment, even unease.

  Why aren’t you more excited? This is your dream job. Stop moping, and get with the program, Willa!

  “If you want me to take on an additional workload,” she said, pulling herself firmly back into the conversation, “then I’d expect my salary to match the work.”

  Willa had never negotiated for her salary in her life, but by the time the meeting ended, Grayson had agreed to adding ten percent more to her starting salary, not including possible bonuses. Willa left the meeting feeling both accomplished and still confused that she hadn’t officially accepted the position yet.

  She’d be an utter fool to turn this chance down. Logically, she knew that, but it didn’t stop her from asking Grayson to let her give him her answer the next day.

  She had only another day in New York—and one more day to make a decision that would change her life forever.
<
br />   Twenty-Seven

  When Willa checked her phone for what felt like the thousandth time, only to see that Daniel hadn’t called or texted, she realized how ridiculous she was being. Daniel was only doing what she’d told him to do. She’d rejected his love and his desire that she should stay with him and Bobby.

  Of course he wouldn’t call. It was strange, she thought, how much she wanted him not to consider her wishes. It wasn’t fair to him, but there it was. It might make her fickle, but the heart was a strange thing.

  “I’m being an idiot,” she muttered as she dried her hair the following morning in the hotel. “What the hell am I waiting for?”

  Anything that had been between her and Daniel was over. She’d done her level best to make that happen. So why hesitate to accept the job offer?

  Willa couldn’t think of one good reason not to accept the job. Before she lost her nerve, she called Grayson.

  “I hope you’re calling to tell me yes,” the gallery owner said, not even bothering to say hello.

  “I am. Calling you to tell you yes, I mean,” stammered Willa.

  There was a long pause. “Why do you sound like you just agreed to get your arm broken?”

  “Did I? I’m just nervous,” Willa found herself babbling. “I don’t sleep well in hotels, so I’m tired, too. But I’m very excited and so grateful that you’ve chosen me.” Willa did her best to infuse her voice with excitement. She almost winced at how hollow her tone sounded in her own ears. She just hoped Grayson bought the spiel.

  “Hmm,” his voice sounded back. “Well, I don’t care as long as you sign on the dotted line. Sensation needs you, and I’m not stupid enough to let somebody of your caliber get away. I’ll have my assistant email you the contract. I want you to start next week.”

  Willa bit back a sharp inhale. So soon? “I don’t know if I can move that quickly.”