Forever Christmas

by Cat Cahill

  “That’s what my father would have said.” Elizabeth shivered and tucked her hands deeper into the pockets of the cloak. She’d thought coming out here might clear her head, but instead, she felt as if she were fighting to even breathe.

  “I couldn’t sleep. I’m worried.” Penny’s face looked pinched as snow landed on her eyelashes. She blinked it away. “Ben is due in today. What if the routes are canceled because of the snow?”

  Elizabeth chewed on her lower lip. It was certainly a possibility, especially if the weather didn’t improve. And Christmas was only three days away. “Monroe hasn’t arrived yet, either.”

  Penny nodded and then raised her eyebrows. “Monroe?”

  “My brother,” Elizabeth said after taking a deep breath.

  “Monroe Hartley is your brother? Emma’s husband?” Penny tugged her own coat closer to her as she spoke.

  Elizabeth nodded.

  “Oh, for the love of Christmas, Elizabeth! Why didn’t you say that before? Here we’ve been speaking of him as if you’d never met him.” If Penny could have thrown her hands up into the air, Elizabeth was certain she would have.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Honestly, I’m not sure why I didn’t say anything. I think I’m . . . Well, I don’t know how he’ll react when he sees me. If he were to send me packing, I suppose I didn’t want you or anyone else to know how ashamed I was.” Elizabeth stared out toward the tree line, a dark smudge that was barely visible through the falling snow.

  “Why would he do any such thing? I’d think he’d be happy to see you if he’s any good brother at all.”

  “It’s . . .” Elizabeth blinked away the traitorous tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes. She’d pushed aside all her fear and doubts about Monroe as thoughts of Landon had taken over. But now that she was here with Penny, and had to explain it all again, they rushed back as if they’d never been gone at all. “I made a foolish mistake when I was younger. He did everything for me after our father died, and I repaid him by running off to marry a cowboy who wanted to become a miner. I didn’t even tell him, Penny. He was my brother, and he loved me more than anything, and I . . . left him with a note. I never even wrote to him over seven years. I’m sure he thinks I hate him. If he doesn’t believe me dead.”

  “Elizabeth.” Penny laid a gloved hand on her arm. “If it’s been that long, I’m sure all he’ll be is happy to see you.”

  Elizabeth wanted to believe that, so badly, but she didn’t dare hope. She’d been so horrible to him that God might only see it as right to punish her in return. He certainly had during all those years she’d lived in California. But she nodded, and that seemed to satisfy Penny.

  “Perhaps today’s train will arrive as usual, with Ben, your brother, and Emma on it,” Penny said. “After all, I can’t marry that tree in the lobby.”

  Elizabeth giggled. It was exactly what she needed. As she laughed with Penny, some of the fear melted away.

  It even made it possible to think that Landon might answer her questions. After all, he wouldn’t keep buying her ornaments and cutting down trees and looking at her the way he did last night if he didn’t also see something between them.

  Elizabeth’s heart warmed even as her face froze in the snow. “Come on,” she said to Penny. “Let’s get inside and see if the kitchen has any coffee ready.”

  She looped arms with her new friend. The world seemed somehow brighter and more hopeful, even as the snow swirled furiously around them.

  NOON CAME AND WENT without the train from Cañon City arriving. With only hotel guests to feed, both the girls at the lunch counter and in the dining room finished the meal service far more quickly than usual.

  When Elizabeth entered the lobby with Genia, she found Penny wandering like a fretting ghost with Dora, Adelaide, and a redheaded girl—Millie, Elizabeth remembered. Elizabeth had tried to keep her own fears at bay since early that morning. The train probably hadn’t left the station in Cañon City. Her brother and his wife were likely comfortable in a hotel there. And as much as she wished to see him again—and finally put her fears to rest—her heart broke for Penny, who was without her fiancé.

  “We can always delay the weddings,” Dora was saying when Elizabeth and Genia approached them.

  “But that’s not fair to you and Mr. Gilbert. Think of all our plans! I wouldn’t postpone your wedding.” Penny twisted her hands together as she glanced out the window. The wind and the snow had only increased in ferocity since early that morning. “I’m afraid for him. What if the train is stuck?”

  The thought had crossed Elizabeth’s mind, but she’d batted it away like a fly over a summer meal. “They wouldn’t have left if the conductor saw a storm coming, would they?” she asked.

  “I doubt it,” Millie said. “But Mr. McFarland informed Penny that a couple of men volunteered to ride up the tracks a ways to ensure all is well.” She turned to Penny. “If he’s out there, they’ll find him.”

  Penny didn’t answer, and Elizabeth knew why. Riding out in this growing storm was danger in itself. Those men couldn’t go too far, or they’d risk getting lost or stuck themselves if the storm worsened.

  “There’s nothing to do now but wait,” Adelaide said. A small smile crossed her face. “Although I’m surprised my brother didn’t fight off this storm singlehandedly. He’s never been one for patience.” When she saw Elizabeth’s confused look, she added, “Penny’s fiancé is my brother.”

  Elizabeth’s heart warmed to the girl. Adelaide had shown her such kindness when Elizabeth had entered the hotel, desperate and alone. And now she also worried for a brother. Elizabeth reached for her hand. “I imagine he’s trading stories with Mr. Hartley about pesky little sisters.”

  Adelaide gave her a grateful smile, even as Dora, Millie, and Genia traded confused looks.

  Elizabeth wished there was something she could do to help them all take their minds from the situation. As she surveyed the lobby, her eyes landed on the proud but unadorned pine Landon had set up. “We should decorate the tree!”

  One by one, the other girls nodded, and Dora even smiled. But Penny shook her head.

  “Come on, Penny,” Elizabeth said. “It will be good for you to do something. Besides, the candles we place on the tree will shine through the window. It will act as a beacon. Maybe it will help draw those we love toward us.” It wasn’t as if Penny’s Sheriff Young or Monroe would be out there, wandering in the snow—or so Elizabeth prayed—but it could act as a symbol of their hope. “Maybe God will see it and answer our prayers.”

  She took Penny’s hand and drew her toward the tree. Penny looked the green branches up and down. “All right, if we must, I suppose I’ll help.”

  Elizabeth smiled. “I have some golden balls we can place on the tree. We must find candles and some more ribbon. Perhaps Chef will give us some of his dried fruit.”

  “I have a few striped peppermint candy canes I bought from the mercantile for gifts,” Genia said.

  “We could pop corn and put it on strings!” Adelaide said.

  “I could make folded paper decorations if Mrs. McFarland will spare some paper,” Dora added.

  “I saw that once in a book,” another girl named Edie chimed in. She had just joined them with a couple of the other waitresses. Her eyes were bright behind the wire-framed spectacles she wore, making it hard for Elizabeth to believe what she’d heard the other girls say about Edie—that a nefarious man had coerced her into stealing from the hotel, and she was slowly earning her way back into the company’s good graces.

  The girls mentioned more ideas, and Elizabeth grinned. This was exactly what she’d hoped would happen. As her new friends dispersed, she tasked herself with finding something that would be fitting for the very top of the tree. The kitchen seemed a likely place to start.

  Elizabeth had taken only a few steps when Landon appeared. He looked different, and Elizabeth furrowed her brow, trying to figure out how. And then she saw it.

 
He was smiling.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Good afternoon, Landon,” Elizabeth said, his name rolling off her tongue as if she’d been saying it her entire life.

  He tried not to show how much it meant to hear her say his name with such affection. His fingers dug into the gift he held for her behind his back. “Good afternoon,” he said, more stiffly than he’d wanted.

  That only made her smile more. It was as if she could see how awkward he felt.

  Landon cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have left so abruptly. Were you in any trouble?”

  “No. Mrs. Ruby only wanted to ensure I wasn’t hurt. Although she did insist I find my way to my room before curfew from now on. But thank you for the apology. You do have a tendency to disappear.”

  Her words cut through him. But she was right. If a situation looked bad, he didn’t stay around, and that wasn’t fair to her—or gentlemanly in the least.

  Elizabeth leaned a little to the left. “What are you hiding behind your back?”

  He’d almost forgotten. He held out the star, and she gasped.

  “This was just what I was looking for! Although I thought I might need to make something myself. How did you know?” She took the shining tin from his hands and held it before her, joy radiating from every part of her, an angel from head to toe.

  “I realized you’d need something to place on the top of the tree. The woman at the store had ordered one some time ago, thinking the hotel might have a tree this year.”

  “It’s perfect.” She bestowed a smile upon him, so bright that he’d give her the stars in the sky to put on that fool tree too, if it would keep her smiling at him like that forever. And he hoped she would, even after he told her he needed to leave.

  “I’ll place it on the tree for you, if you like.”

  Elizabeth nodded, and he left to retrieve a ladder. When he returned, a few guests had gathered around the tree as a couple of the girls began to drape more of the red velvet ribbon from its branches. Two other girls sat before the fireplace, folding paper into intricate designs. And there was Elizabeth, beaming at the tree, her tin star clutched in her hands as the snow fell faster outside the window behind her.

  That snow made him uneasy, but he pushed that feeling aside as he set up the ladder. Elizabeth handed him the star. He climbed to the top of the tree and set it on the topmost branch. The star caught the meager light from the window, and a sudden memory whirled back at Landon. He was young, maybe about seven or eight, and the owner of the ranch where his mother worked had let him place the star on top of the small tree that sat on a table. His little chest had swelled with pride at such an important job, and even though he knew they weren’t related, he felt as if he was part of a large, loving family.

  Looking at that star now, he had the strangest feeling that he was among family again. It made no sense. After all, he barely knew these people at the hotel, except Elizabeth. It felt as if he’d known her forever, even though it had only been six days. Yet still, as he looked down to her smiling face and the other girls and the guests watching him, a sense of warmth and belonging enveloped him.

  Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.

  That thought almost made him topple from the ladder. He’d already been dreading what awaited him in Cañon City, and staying at the hotel had felt like hiding, like cowardice. But now it felt . . . different. He didn’t want to leave because he liked it here.

  “It looks perfect,” Elizabeth said when he returned to the bottom of the ladder. “Thank you.”

  Her words might as well have been her arms, wrapping around him. She was so trusting. It amazed him. For a woman who had been married to a man who didn’t seem to have been the best sort of husband, she still seemed to believe the world was full of wonder and hope.

  It made him wonder if there was a different way . . .

  Elizabeth was at the window now, peering into the white world beyond it. The snow swirled outside, obscuring the view completely. “I fear for those men who rode out to find the train.”

  Landon silently agreed, but didn’t wish to worry her further. “They wouldn’t have volunteered unless they knew what they were doing. I’m certain they’ll be fine.”

  “What if they don’t find the train? Or worse, what if they find it and . . .” She turned to him with big eyes, worry reflecting in them. “My brother is likely on that train, with his wife.”

  He wanted so badly to reach for her hand to reassure her. But that was impossible in this big room filled with people. So instead, he gave her a small smile and said, “They will be fine. The most likely scenario is that the train is moving slowly.” He didn’t add that Mr. McFarland had told him he’d telegraphed the station in Cañon City and learned the train left on time this morning and hadn’t returned. “It may be on its way now. And if it isn’t, the men searching for it will find it.”

  Her eyes traced his face as some of the worry lifted from her own. “Do you really believe that?”

  “I do.”

  She smiled at him. “I trust you.”

  He wanted, so badly, to tell her. To let her know what he was planning. But she’d try to talk him out of it, and then where would he be? An even poorer cowboy who’d spent all his money staying in a hotel because he couldn’t make up his mind. How could he ask for her then, with no way to provide for her? He couldn’t. And so he swallowed the words that wanted to come out of his mouth.

  He’d go to Cañon City and do what needed to be done. Then he’d return to this hotel as a rich man. Only then would he tell Elizabeth how he felt about her—when he would finally be in a place to deserve such feelings in return.

  Then afterward, he’d steel his heart so the guilt at what he’d done and the secret he’d need to keep from Elizabeth wouldn’t tear him apart. She watched him now, wisps of hair falling in graceful waves around her face. Those eyes held all the trust in the world, but she frowned just slightly, as if she realized that perhaps she wouldn’t be wise to place that much trust in him.

  She at least deserved to know he was still planning to leave town. He’d ask her to wait for him, if he could gather the courage. “Elizabeth—”

  The front doors to the hotel slammed open, snow and wind howling their way into the lobby. The tree’s branches shook. The bellboys struggled to get the doors shut again, and once they were, three frozen figures, covered in snow from head to toe, stood just inside.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “They’re the men who went looking for the train!” Adelaide exclaimed from somewhere behind Elizabeth.

  They were entirely covered in snow and looked frozen, but it was them. Elizabeth’s heart beat faster. Maybe they’d found it! She said a quick prayer for good news and then glanced at Landon. He was watching her, looking as if he wanted to say something. But instead, he gestured toward the men.

  Elizabeth shot him a smile just as Penny grabbed her arm.

  “Oh, I hope they found it!” Penny said, Adelaide at her side. Together, the three of them joined the small crowd that had gathered around the men.

  “Give them some room!” Mrs. McFarland hustled in and began helping the men unwrap from scarves and coats and hats.

  “We found the train,” one of them said, as soon as his face was free of his snow-encrusted scarf.

  The questions began immediately.

  “Where is it?” one of the guests asked.

  “How are the passengers?” another said.

  “Did you speak with anyone on the train?” Penny piped up. Elizabeth gripped her hand harder. Monroe had to be all right. She couldn’t accept that he wasn’t.

  “Shh.” Mrs. McFarland held a hand up from the pile of winter clothing in her arms. “Let the man speak.”

  One of the maids pushed through the crowd with an armload of blankets. The men took them and wrapped them around themselves before easing their way toward the nearest fireplace. Finally, the one man spoke again. “It’s about five miles n
orth of here. Some of the cars are derailed from the ice.”

  Penny gasped.

  Elizabeth felt sick. What if the people inside had been hurt? She’d heard stories of derailed trains catching fire from the contents of the cars’ stoves spilling out into the cars.

  A panicked murmur rose in the crowd.

  “The passengers seem fine,” the man said, louder so as to be heard. “The derailment isn’t so bad that anything caught fire. But they’ll soon run out of coal to burn for warmth. We need to get them off that train as soon as we can,” the man said as he took a steaming mug of tea that Mrs. Ruby handed him. “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “But we can’t go out in this,” a man in the crowd said. “They can use the coal meant for the locomotive.”

  “The storm has worsened,” one of the other searchers said. “And the train was due to be coaled once it arrived here. There isn’t enough of it onboard. These people have but maybe a few hours. We can’t leave them out there. As soon as I’m warmed through, I’ll lead us back out there. If we stay on the tracks, we won’t be lost.”

  The other searchers agreed, and slowly, one by one, men in the crowd volunteered to go with them.

  “I’ll go,” a deep, clipped voice said from behind Elizabeth.

  Landon. She turned, and he nodded at her. She wanted to throw her arms around him and beg him to bring her brother and his wife back. But all she did was nod gratefully.

  The crowd broke up as the men who agreed to rescue the passengers from the train went to bundle up for the journey.

  “We should prepare rooms for them,” Dora said from where she lingered nearby. “Stoke up the fires, ensure there are plenty of blankets, and be ready to help any who might have injuries.”

  The other girls nodded, and Mrs. Ruby directed them to help the maids prepare empty rooms for the passengers.