Forever Christmas

by Cat Cahill

  Elizabeth tilted her head. Landon’s face was still red, and now perspiration dotted his brow. “Are you feeling well?”

  “I’m fine. I need to go back for his mama. And for your brother.” He swiped an arm across his forehead.

  Elizabeth grabbed on to the side of the bed where she sat. “You saw him?”

  Landon turned to look at her. She knew she should look away. She was doing her heart no favors by allowing herself to be drawn into his gaze again.

  Yet she didn’t move.

  “I did,” he said. “He insisted I bring his wife. I’ll find out where they’ve placed her.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “Thank you.” She turned back to the boy. She could hear Landon’s footsteps leaving the room. How could a man who was so gentle with a child be so cruel when it came to her heart? Nothing about his actions made any sense.

  As she watched William, asleep in the chair, she thought more about this job of Landon’s. Yes, he’d made it clear it was something he didn’t care to do, and yet he felt as if he needed to. But nothing about that indicated why he’d leave and not return. Nothing fit with the way he’d seemingly toyed with her emotions. He didn’t seem the sort of man to go out of his way to do that kind of thing.

  Part of her wondered if there was something else. Something he hadn’t told her. But she knew that was only wishful thinking. He might have seemed more sincere than Colin, but underneath, he was the same.

  She sighed and stood just as the maid returned with the hot irons. Elizabeth helped her wrap them in the bedclothes so they’d warm, but not burn, the little boy. Then she went to hunt down some dry clothing that might fit him. And she forced herself not to think any more on Landon.

  Chapter Twenty

  The ride back out to the train took longer than either of the two previous rides. The horses moved slower and the men seemed less inclined to hurry them along. It was a dangerous path of thinking, Landon knew. And yet, he could do nothing from his place in the middle of the line.

  By the time they reached the train, it was dusk. The temperatures had already begun to dip lower and the snow continued to fall. And yet Landon felt uncomfortably warm. The cold was likely getting to his head.

  “We have to move faster,” Landon said to McFarland as they jumped down from their horses. “Else we’ll all freeze out here.”

  “I’ll speak to the men and lead on the return,” McFarland said. “Will you take the rear to ensure no one falls behind?”

  Landon nodded before swinging himself inside the first car. Men streamed toward the door. It seemed most of the remaining passengers had congregated in the first and second cars. After ensuring Hartley that his wife had made it safely to the hotel and William’s mother of the same, he proceeded through each car, checking for stragglers. In a way, this wasn’t unlike driving cattle.

  Sometimes he thought he might miss those drives, but missing them was pointless. Rumors were already rampant that the Colorado & New Mexico Railway would run cars specifically for cattle down these lines, eliminating the need for men to drive them to Cañon City. He could continue, work as a ranch hand, of course, but the thought of doing that on another man’s ranch for the rest of his life wasn’t something Landon could stomach.

  No, his decision to obtain money to buy land fast was his best option, even if his method of doing so wasn’t entirely legal. Or honorable. Or something he would ever feel comfortable doing.

  Satisfied the cars were empty, Landon returned to the front. A wave of heat washed over him, almost buckling his knees. He grabbed hold of one of the seats in the car as black dots danced in front of his eyes. They cleared, leaving a feeling of dread in his stomach. He shook his head to try to chase away the feeling. He was cold and exhausted, that was all. Once they got these people back to the hotel, he’d rest.

  Most of the passengers were on horses now. Two women sat astride a horse, one without a coat. It was William’s mother, and she was already shivering.

  “Here.” Landon shrugged out of his own coat and placed it around her shoulders, ignoring the cold that instantly bit through his shirt sleeves.

  “No, you shouldn’t,” she said. “You’ll freeze.”

  “I have a blanket. And you have a child who needs looking after.”

  “Thank you,” she said, a grateful smile crossing her lips, which hadn’t stopped chattering.

  Landon returned to his horse and wrapped the wool blanket around himself. He’d forgotten to retrieve the second blanket from William. This one wasn’t as warm as his coat, but if they made good time, he’d be fine.

  The line lurched forward, and Landon hung back. He nodded at Hartley to go in front of him, and then he fell in, leaving the empty train behind.

  They plodded through the snow. Minutes passed. Landon lost track of time. His mind wandered, from the little boy to Elizabeth to cattle rustling to the cold that enveloped him. Oddly, even though it grew darker and the wind and snow didn’t let up, he began to feel warmer. Hot, almost. His head pounded, and it became hard to keep his eyes open.

  He shrugged the blanket off, letting it fall. He couldn’t fall asleep. He needed to watch for people lagging behind. But after some time, he could no longer fight it. His eyes drifted closed, and a smile crossed his face as he imagined Elizabeth taking his hand and leading him into the hotel.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Elizabeth sat with William for an hour. The color slowly came back to his cheeks, and he’d even moaned and turned over a couple of times.

  “That’s a good sign,” the maid said. She’d been there the entire time, too, and Elizabeth had learned her name was Helen. She was a small, young wisp of a girl, but Elizabeth could tell none of that had any bearing on her capability.

  The little boy’s eyes fluttered open and looked at each of them. “Mama?”

  “Shh.” Elizabeth caressed his cheek. “Your mama will be here soon. Do you remember the man who rescued you from the train?”

  “Mr. Cooper.” The boy smiled. “He was nice. He’s a cowboy.”

  Elizabeth couldn’t help but grin back at him. Landon had certainly made an impression on this boy. “Mr. Cooper has gone back for your mother. She’ll be here before you know it.”

  The boy nodded, seemingly satisfied. Helen offered him some soup. He sat up and eyed the bowl.

  Now that the boy was awake and alert, Elizabeth stood. “I’ll return in just a moment,” she said. “I must go see to another passenger from the train.”

  William was too intent on his soup to answer, but Helen smiled. “We’ll be fine here. Go on.”

  Elizabeth slipped out the door, taking a moment to stretch her back. It ached from sitting on the side of the bed, watching little William. Seeing him helpless as he’d been earlier, she was almost glad his mother wasn’t here to see him like that. She couldn’t imagine how heart-wrenching that would be. And yet . . .

  It made Elizabeth remember how badly she’d wanted children. It was a desire she’d buried soon after she and Colin had arrived in California. And not too long after that, she’d found herself on her knees nearly every night, praying not to have children. God had granted her prayers, but now she wondered if she might have the opportunity again, someday.

  The thought returned Landon to her mind, and she winced. She’d expected too much of him. The truth hurt, but at least she was no longer acting the fool.

  She made her way upstairs, where Landon had informed her Monroe’s wife had been placed in a room. She arrived to find a woman huddled in a blanket and sitting in a chair near the fireplace, a bowl of soup forgotten on the desk. Dora hovered nearby.

  “Mrs. Hartley?” Elizabeth said hesitantly. It felt strange to use her own maiden name to address this woman she’d never met.

  Her brother’s wife turned slowly to look at Elizabeth. Her face was pale and surrounded with dark hair that had been recently brushed and plaited. But her green eyes were dull, and even when she smiled, it looked hollow.

  “Yes?”
she said.

  Dora looked between the two of them. “I’ll be back shortly.” She gave the woman a hug. “I’m so happy you’re back. We’ll have more time to talk later.”

  Elizabeth entered the room as Dora left. She took her time closing the door behind her before turning to face Mrs. Hartley again. “We’ve not met, but Monroe may have mentioned me to you. I’m Elizabeth Campbell. Elizabeth Hartley Campbell.” She remained near the door, her hands clasped before her.

  Mrs. Hartley’s face gave a spark of life. “You’re Lizzie?”

  Elizabeth nodded. Only Monroe had ever called her Lizzie. The nickname warmed her and yet made her want to crumple to the floor in shame.

  “I don’t believe it.” Her brother’s wife looked at her as if she were an apparition. “I’m sorry. I failed to introduce myself. I’m Emma Hartley, your brother’s wife. Please call me Emma. After all, we’re sisters now.” Emma reached out a shaking hand, and Elizabeth took it gratefully. She pulled the desk chair over and sat next to Emma.

  Emma’s hand still shook as she returned it to her lap. Elizabeth eyed her new sister. She didn’t look well at all.

  “Are you feeling ill? Would you like to lie down?” she asked.

  “No, but perhaps later. As soon as I know Monroe is here.”

  Elizabeth frowned. Emma didn’t answer her first question. But she didn’t feel she knew Emma well enough to press the subject. “He should be here soon,” she said. It had been a couple of hours since the men had left again. It was dark now, and growing later. And colder. Elizabeth didn’t want to think too much on that. They would be back. Landon had promised her. Even if she couldn’t trust him with her heart, she knew he wouldn’t break that promise.

  “I hope so. I’m worried, Lizzie. Is it all right if I call you Lizzie, too?” Emma asked with the kindest smile.

  “I suppose it is,” Elizabeth replied, even as her face burned red. But beneath the shame of what she’d done to her brother were happier memories. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to be called Lizzie again. “Please don’t worry. I know they’ll get the rest of the passengers off the train and back here safely.”

  “I’ll do my best.” Emma gave her a grateful, if strained, smile.

  They sat together for some time, talking and getting to know one another. Elizabeth asked again if Emma felt well, and the woman insisted she was fine. But as the hours dragged on, they both grew more restless.

  “What could be keeping them?” Elizabeth wondered out loud.

  “Do you suppose something has happened?” Emma clutched her blanket closer.

  “No, of course not.” I hope.

  It was nearly midnight when Dora opened the door. “They’ve returned,” she said quietly.

  Elizabeth jumped up. Emma moved a little slower, and Dora rushed in to take her friend’s arm. “Why don’t you wait here? I’ll find Mr. Hartley and send him to you.”

  “No, I’ll go. He must be freezing.” Emma moved toward the door.

  Elizabeth forced herself to hold the door open for Dora and Emma, even though she was anxious to get to the lobby herself.

  “Why don’t you go ahead?” Dora suggested once they were in the hallway. “I’ll walk with Emma.”

  “I’ll find him,” Elizabeth said, grateful to finally allay her fears. From the landing, she could see people below, the riders and the rescued both covered in snow. Two men held another person between them. And several of her new friends and other hotel employees were there, taking coats and blankets, offering hot drinks, and leading people to empty rooms. From above, Elizabeth couldn’t tell one man from the next.

  She ran down the stairs as quickly as possible. At the bottom, she pushed her way through the mass of people, scanning each face she saw. Many of the people who had returned, both passengers and riders alike, looked frozen to the bone. The word “frostbite” echoed in her ears as she passed. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise considering how long these people had been outside, but it made her already racing heart beat even harder. What if they weren’t all right? What if something had happened along the way? What if they weren’t here at all?

  She was just feet from the door when she finally spotted them. Two men—her brother and Mr. McFarland—held a third man between them. A snow-encrusted hat barely held on to the third man’s head. He wore no coat and had no blanket wrapped about him. And he was unconscious.

  “Landon,” Elizabeth whispered. She stopped where she was, right in front of the trio.

  “Lizzie?” Her brother’s voice sounded incredulous in her ears. “Is that you? How . . .? What are you doing here?”

  Elizabeth tore her eyes from Landon’s slumped form. Monroe’s face was bright red from the cold, and the dark hair that showed under his hat dripped melting snow onto his coat.

  “I . . .” She didn’t know what to say. After all this time, after all the different ways she’d imagined seeing her brother again, she had no words to speak.

  “Mrs. Campbell is a waitress here at the hotel,” Mr. McFarland filled in for her. He glanced back and forth between herself and Monroe. “Might I ask how you know each other?”

  “She’s my sister,” Monroe said in a stunned voice.

  Mr. McFarland raised his eyebrows but said nothing beyond, “Come, let’s get Mr. Cooper to a room quickly. Mrs. Campbell, could you fetch some blankets and hot irons? If we don’t warm him up soon, I fear he may not revive at all.”

  Elizabeth clutched her hands to her stomach, her attention once again on Landon. His face was so white it was nearly blue, and yet his forehead shone with perspiration. It didn’t make sense at all. “Where is his coat?”

  “He gave it to a woman who didn’t have one,” Mr. McFarland replied. “It saved her life, but I fear it may cost him his own.”

  Elizabeth stared at Landon, as if just looking at him might make him wake up. What if he didn’t? Oh, dear God, please help him. Even if he didn’t care for her the way she did for him, he didn’t deserve this.

  “Room 117 is empty,” one of the maids said from nearby.

  That spurred Elizabeth into action. She would save Landon’s life if it were the last thing she did. She refused to let him die.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  At first, Landon didn’t know where he was. He opened his eyes expecting to see the sky or the beams of a bunkhouse. But instead, a whitewashed ceiling stared back at him.

  The hotel. It came back to him in bits and pieces. Arriving here. He was supposed to be somewhere else. But he wasn’t. It was important. But it flitted from his mind as the pain arrived.

  His head pounded so hard he thought it might burst open. And the heat . . . it felt as if he were on fire.

  And then an angel’s face appeared above him.

  “Landon?” she said.

  He felt himself smile before his eyes closed again.

  WHEN HE WOKE AGAIN, he didn’t open his eyes right away. He waited a moment, but there was only a dull, lingering pain in the back of his head. Nothing like before. And the heat had diminished. He let his eyes open for a split second. It was nighttime, and Elizabeth sat nearby, watching the fireplace. Her hand rested on his arm, but she wasn’t alone.

  He closed his eyes as she spoke to someone else. Another woman, who said she’d return in a moment.

  As soon as she was gone, he felt the pillows adjust under his head. This was nice. He could lie here forever, comfortable in this bed, with an angel watching over him.

  “Monroe has come by more than once,” she said.

  He opened one eye just a slit. She wasn’t looking at his face. Instead, she was adjusting his bedcovers. He wanted to speak, to let her know he was awake, but the words wouldn’t come. His throat was scratchy, as if he’d swallowed cactus needles.

  “He’s asked about your fever. And about me. I should speak with him, I know I should, but I don’t know what to say. Leaving him with barely a word was a mistake. Marrying Colin was the worst choice I’ve ever made. I suppose I was too
embarrassed to write to Monroe after that. So I didn’t . . . and that was wrong too.”

  Landon wanted to open his eyes, but now it felt too late. She must have thought he was asleep.

  “I believe the only right thing I’ve done in my life is to come here. For the first time, I feel as if I have a future that might be good.” She rested a hand on his arm. Landon didn’t dare move.

  “I was so upset with you when you left. But now . . . Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe I need to be on my own for some time. You’re a cowboy, and I’ve been through this before. I should’ve known better. I’ll always care for you, though. I hope you know that.”

  Landon’s heart constricted at her words. She didn’t want him. She—how did she put it? She cared for him. What did that mean? Clearly it wasn’t enough to want to make a life with him. He was just a cowboy to her. Someone too low to love. Someone who couldn’t be trusted.

  And she was right. After all, he’d been planning to build a life with her based on a lie.

  She was better off without him. He turned over, pretending to still be asleep. The door opened, and another woman spoke to Elizabeth. She left, and he opened his eyes to stare at the wall.

  As soon as he was well enough and the snow had stopped falling, he’d be gone.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  It had been two days since the passengers were rescued from the train. The snow had finally ended early the day before, and men had gone to dig out the tracks. They’d brought the re-railer from the depot, kept there in case of just such an emergency, and after several hours of work, had gotten the derailed cars back onto the tracks. The train had stopped by the hotel earlier in the day and picked up the passengers who were well enough and ready to finish their trip to Santa Fe.

  It was nearing evening now on Christmas Eve, and Elizabeth had finally left Landon’s side. He’d seemed more coherent today, although he still hadn’t woken entirely. But the fever had broken, and Elizabeth knew she could no longer put off the inevitable.