by V. T. Do
When the brothers finally came into view, my heart stuttered so frantically that I was surprised I hadn’t passed out.
Mason was in one of his work suits again, a dark gray jacket and a light blue button-up shirt. The sight of his broad shoulders encased in what was sure to be a custom-made suit was doing funny things to my insides.
Lorenzo didn’t look like this in a suit.
Lorenzo looked like a boy trying to play a man in a suit. I wondered if the same could be said about me in a dress. Did I look like a girl trying to play a woman whenever I put on a nice dress to go on fancy dates with him?
I shook my head. It didn’t matter. I was with Lorenzo now, so I needed to stop comparing him to Mason.
Mason noticed me first. He smiled, albeit reservedly, and my cheeks felt warm. Max spotted me then, and he smiled widely, his eyes brightening like they always did whenever he saw me. It was hard not to notice the difference between their smiles. There was always something about Mason that told me he was holding back—unlike Max, who was so free in his affection for me.
“Hey, kiddo. How was your day off today?”
“Oh, it was good. I cooked.” I pointed awkwardly to the food I had prepared and placed on the kitchen island to cool.
“Well, it smells delicious. Mason’s having dinner with us, by the way.” I tried not to smile too eagerly at that. “I can’t wait for dinner. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I must have sounded as awkward as I felt, because Max stopped his perusal of the food and turned to me. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah? Why wouldn’t it be?”
Max continued to stare me down, and I resisted the urge to squirm. “Nothing. Why don’t you and Mason set the table while I get out of these clothes. I’ll be right back.”
And then he left to his room and it was just Mason and me. Awkward didn’t begin to cover what was happening. I was an awkward kid, and now I was an awkward teenager. Would I be an awkward adult as well?
“Why don’t we set the table?” Mason suggested after I stayed silent for a few seconds too long.
“Yeah, that sounds great?” Why did I say that like a question?
His eyes lit up in amusement, and I got the distinct feeling that he thought I was cute… like a little kid. “Grab the plates, Olivia. I’ll carry the food.”
Mason unbuttoned his jacket and threw it casually across the back of the couch before he loosened his tie. I watched him for a beat too long as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He caught my eyes, and I looked away quickly.
Great. Way to be subtle.
We set the table in silence for five minutes or so, me doing everything I could to avoid touching him. When he suddenly appeared at my side with the bowl of Caesar salad, I jumped so far back that I was thankful all the breakable plates had been on the table already.
Mason turned to me, his eyebrows furrowing. “Are you scared of me, Olivia?”
“What?”
“I know I gave you quite a scare the first time you saw me at the house.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m not scared of you. I was just surprised to see you.” Surprised to feel him so close to me, to feel his warmth, I didn’t add. Would I ever not be nervous in his presence?
“That’s good. I hope you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
My shoulders relaxed. “I know,” I said softly. And I did know. There was just something about Mason—he was dangerous and intimidating, with his focused gaze and overwhelming size. I wasn’t blinded to that. But I also knew Max wouldn’t have invited Mason over to his house, brother or not, if he didn’t trust him completely.
And I trusted Mason to not hurt me.
“Good. Let’s get this all set up.” He smiled, and I could feel that smile all the way down to my stomach. I hated how I stopped feeling that way about Lorenzo’s smile ever since Mason entered the picture.
We finished setting up the table pretty quickly after that, mostly in silence, but I didn’t feel as uncomfortable as I thought I would. I didn’t feel the urge to replace the silence with words. Instead, I was happily humming along to a song that had been stuck in my head all day. I hadn’t been this content in weeks. Maybe it was because high school was finally over and done with, or maybe it was because I had the whole summer to do nothing but read plays and work, and that sounded pretty close to heaven to me.
Or perhaps the contentment was because I was finally able to move on from my mom’s abandonment. Not completely, of course—I didn’t think I would ever completely get over that. But maybe, just maybe, her actions didn’t have to hurt me so much anymore.
While we waited for Max, I caught Mason’s stare on me a few times, as if he couldn’t quite figure me out. I wanted to say I would tell him everything, if he’d only ask.
Max came down in casual jeans and a fitted white t-shirt. He patted Mason roughly on the back, so much so that I winced a little from the sound. But Mason didn’t seem affected; he only shot an annoyed glance at his brother.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He pressed a firm kiss on the top of my head before walking to the head of the table. “Everything looks good, Olivia. Let’s eat.”
“Okay.”
I had already decided I wasn’t going to bring up Lorenzo. Not with Mason here. That would just be weird. Maybe after dinner, I could catch Max in his office alone. I’d tell him then. I’d approach the topic like the mature adult I knew I was, and that was all there was to it.
So why was my heartbeat so fast at the thought?
I shook my head and took a bite of some grilled salmon.
Fifteen minutes into dinner, Max turned to me, his stare inquisitive. I fidgeted in my seat, wondering what I could have done to earn that look. My heart thudded for a brief second when I thought Max might know about my crush on his brother, but that couldn’t be it.
I took a sip of my water at the same time Max said, “I took a client out to eat at Lo Scoglio today and ran into Vincent Vitelli,” and I almost choked. “Oh, crap. Are you alright, Olivia?”
He called me Olivia. Not kiddo, or Olive, or sweetheart.
He knew.
“Yup. The water went down wrong, that’s all.” He raised a single eyebrow and I looked down at my plate. “Can Lizzie spend the night this Friday?” I asked, to change the topic. But I really did want her here. We hadn’t had a sleepover since I moved in with Max. Lizzie never said anything, but I thought it was because she was nervous about spending the night in the same house as Max.
“Of course. She’s always welcome here.”
I grinned. “Cool.”
Mason made a noise that sounded like a cough and a laugh. I looked at him and, sure enough, his eyes were glimmering in amusement. He winked, obviously catching on to my plan.
Max sighed. “Don’t change the subject, Olivia. Don’t you want to know about the interesting conversation I had with Vincent?”
“Not really, no.”
Mason lost it and laughed then. Max scowled at him, and even though I knew I was in trouble, I kind of liked that I was able to make Mason laugh.
“Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.”
Before he could say anything more, I blurted out, “I’m dating Lorenzo. He treats me well, and yes, I told him you owned a handgun, and you’re well trained in jiu-jitsu, so if he ever steps out of line, you’ll kick his ass.” I repeated the same thing Max said to me when I started high school. When he was so sure I would be dating boys right away.
But there was no boy. Not until now, anyway.
Mason let out a strangled laugh and I shot him a glare. This was no laughing matter.
“I thought you didn’t like him,” Max said softly.
I shrugged. “I do.”
“Then why did you cancel your date with him the first time around?”
I shrugged again. I couldn’t very well tell Max the real reason. “I didn’t want to date him, at first. But then, he knew about me being in theater, and he talk
ed to his dad, who then donated to the school for some theater equipment, and that’s nice, right?”
I wasn’t explaining myself very well. It sounded like I was going out with him because his dad brought the equipment. But wasn’t that why? Was I a whore for theater equipment? Theater equipment that I wouldn’t even get to use, at that. My expression must have shown my horror over the thought, because Max was frowning at me.
“Not because he bought it. I’m not dating him because of that,” I added quickly. I cringed after that statement. I might be making this worse. I could feel my cheeks getting hot. “It’s just… that was really nice, you know? No boy has ever done something like that for me just so he could impress me.” I looked down at my plate, unable to meet Max’s eyes any longer. “I know I’m not making any sense.”
Max’s voice was soft when he said, “No, sweetheart. I get it.”
I looked up nervously, in time to catch a shared look between the brothers. The conversation couldn’t be more uncomfortable. Especially since I didn’t want to have it with Mason here. The last thing I wanted was to talk about the boy I was dating with the man I was crushing hard on.
“So, he talked to his dad, and that helped out with the theater department at your school,” Mason said. I nodded. “That’s nice of him.”
But the way he said it didn’t sound like he believed that. That could just be because Mason didn’t know Lorenzo very well. Lorenzo was nice, though. He had been nothing but a complete gentleman on our dates.
“Would you like to meet him? Officially?” I asked Max hesitantly. I didn’t know what the correct protocol for dating was, but meeting the family seemed like the next step, right?
“Of course. Why don’t you have him over this Saturday? Mason and I will fire up the grill and we’ll have a small barbeque.”
I looked at Mason, who didn’t look happy about the idea either. I didn’t think he wanted to come on Saturday, but I knew he wouldn’t refuse.
“Great!” I said a little too enthusiastically. Saturday was going to be one big awkward party… yay.
That night, after Mason went home, Max found me in my bedroom texting Lizzie. I put the phone away when he knocked. “Can I come in?”
I nodded, bracing myself for the talk we were going to have. It was going to be about Lorenzo, I just knew it. He walked in and grabbed my desk chair, placing it by the side of my bed and sitting down.
Max shifted around in his seat awkwardly, and I frowned. Max was not an awkward man. He was always so sure about himself and what he did.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Me? Oh, yeah, of course.”
“Okay,” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say.
I waited for him to tell me why he was in here. Max ran his fingers through his hair, a gesture I had learned he only did when he was nervous, which wasn’t often.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about me. “
“Okay. What’s up?”
His lips twitched and I knew what his response was before he even said it. “The ceiling.”
I rolled my eyes. “Lame dad-joke alert.”
He chuckled and teasingly tugged on my hair. “I have more up my sleeve. I’m just waiting for the perfect opportunity to use them.”
“Ha-ha,” I said sarcastically. “Did you want to talk to me about something? Lorenzo?”
He moved back slightly, and his playful expression turned serious. “Kind of. I just want to know how you feel about the boy.”
“How I feel about him?”
“Yeah. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I got the impression that you didn’t like him all that much at the restaurant. And when you came home a few days after and told me you cancelled your date with him, I assumed I was right. But now I find out from his dad that you’ve been dating him? Why didn’t you tell me, Olive?”
I sighed. “I was going to tell you tonight at dinner. That’s why I cooked today.”
“But?”
“Mason was there.”
His eyebrows pulled together in a small frown. “Yeah?”
“It’s awkward enough having to tell you. But telling you and Mason is just downright weird.”
“I don’t see how that can be weird. Does Mason make you uncomfortable?”
“No, of course he doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable.” At least, not in the way Max was thinking. “I think he’s really nice.”
Max lips twitched. “Nice. Don’t let him hear you say that. He has a reputation to uphold.”
“But he is nice.”
His smile softened. “I’m glad to hear you think so.”
“But I don’t really know him. I think it’ll be a while before I can get comfortable with Mason like I am with you.”
“Sounds fair. But we’re getting off topic.”
“You want to know how I feel about Lorenzo?”
“Yes.”
“He’s… interesting.”
“Yeah? Interesting, how?”
“I don’t know. This is my first relationship. I’m still trying to figure out the correct way to do this.”
“Oh, there is no correct way to date. There’s only the way you feel most comfortable with. And know that no one, and I mean absolutely no one, can make you do anything you’re not ready for. Do you understand?”
I cringed, seeing where he was going with this. “Yes, I understand.”
I looked down at the bedding. Oh, God. Please tell me he isn’t here to talk to me about what I think he wants to talk to me about.
“That’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about.” My eyes widened as I took at him, pleading with him not to say it. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but here. I knew the feeling. “I know your school probably covered the anatomy of sex with its students already—”
“We don’t have to talk about this, I already know everything I need to know,” I blurted out, my face flaming.
“Yes, I’m sure you know the basics, but there’s more to sex than biology. And it’s not like Grace had ever talked to you about this stuff.”
I was utterly horrified. There was only one reason for him to know I never had the sex talk with my mom. “You and Mom talked about me?”
“I don’t think she meant anything by it. She was just wondering when it would be a good time to give you the talk. She didn’t think she needed to until you started dating. But since you haven’t dated until now…” he trailed off, and I had to lower my eyes. This was not what I wanted my mom and Max to talk about in their spare time. No wonder they had never gotten together. It couldn’t be romantic talking about your kid to a potential dating partner. That was probably why Max never made his move. Mom never set the right mood for it.
“Look, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Sex is a natural part of living and shouldn’t be ignored or stigmatized.”
“Stop saying that word!”
“What word? Sex?”
“Gah!” I pulled the blanket up over my head to hide my face. I would never look at him directly in the eyes ever again. We would live here never having to look at each other. I was sure of that. And one day, Max’s hair would turn gray and I wouldn’t know it. That was the only way to live for now on.
Max poked my shoulder. “I think you’re exaggerating a bit, don’t you?”
I stopped my mumbling when I realized I said all that out loud. “No, I’m being completely serious.”
“Come out of there, Olive. We have to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“We have to talk about this. It would be remiss of me to pretend you’re not going to have sex just because I wished it. I know you’re an adult, and you get to make your own decisions about your body, but sweetheart, can’t you see that I just want to give you the proper tools to make the decisions that are best for you?”
I didn’t say anything. I knew he had my best interest at heart. That had always been the cas
e. But to look him in the eyes while we talked about… that, was mortifying.
He pulled the blanket away, and I looked everywhere else but at him. Max cupped my cheek and turned me toward him. He playfully tapped my chin with his knuckles, his eyes gentle. “Like I said, I know you covered the basics in school, but I want to talk to you about everything else. Sex education in school can be cursory.”
I frowned. “What more is there?”
“Well, there’s the emotional aspect of sex. People think you can separate the physical and emotional, but it’s not that easy to do. Agreeing to have sex with someone means you’re willing to make yourself vulnerable to them. There has to be some level of trust between the two people. And even if you can separate the two, I find the sex to be less satisfying and empty without the emotional support that comes with it.”
Despite my discomfort, I was curious. Lizzie was definitely the experienced one out of the two of us, but not by much. She’d only had sex that one time. We didn’t talk much about it after she told me she lost her virginity.
When I didn’t say anything, Max continued. “There’s also consent.”
“Oh, I know all about that.”
“Yes, but do you know how many times the signal for consent is misconstrued? Whether it was misconstrued by accident or on purpose is a whole other conversation. Sometimes, saying no is hard to do when one partner feels this pressure to give into sex to make the relationship work.” He patted my knee, his eyes darkening when he said, “I would hate the thought of you hurting because of this.”
I grabbed Max’s hand and squeezed before letting go. “I know. I’ll be careful. I’ll communicate with whoever I’m with, when I’m ready to have, uh, you know, the sex.” I said the last word quietly.
“You don’t think it will be with Lorenzo?”
I shrugged. We kissed a few times, and each time had felt really good. But whenever he pushed for more, a large part of me just couldn’t get behind the idea. “I don’t know. Maybe? I just don’t feel like it at this time. Is that bad?” I bit my lip nervously. Maybe there was something wrong with me.
