by V. T. Do
I smiled at that and watched as he walked away. And I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help my eyes from moving down to his butt, loving the way the jeans fit him. I looked away before someone caught me drooling, only to come up short when I saw Lizzie in the doorway.
She smirked. “I saw that.”
I blushed. “Shh. Do you want him to hear you?”
She laughed. “They’re both in the backyard. I doubt they’ll hear anything we say.”
“Still...”
“Oh, alright. We won’t talk about what I just saw. However, can I just say one last thing before we change the subject?”
I sighed, knowing she wouldn’t let this go until I listened to her. “What?”
“I didn’t know you had it in you. For a virgin, you sure have a lot of dirty thoughts running through your head these days.”
“Okay. Can we stop talking about this now?”
“Alright. But you’re right. Mason’s hot. Like, really hot. Those eyes. Goddamn, I wanted to burst into flames when he looked at me for the first time.”
I hated how jealous I got just hearing her say that. “Yes, he’s hot. Now let’s move on.”
Lizzie seemed taken back by the tone of my voice. “Olivia, you do know I don’t feel anything for him, right?”
My shoulders sagged then. “I know. I don’t know why I’m acting like this. It’s not like he’s mine.”
She shrugged and looked out to the patio door, watching the men light the grill. “It okay. You like him. There’s nothing more to it. And besides, you know I have my eyes on someone else.”
And sure enough, it wasn’t Mason she was watching, but Max. Max, who seemed oblivious to Lizzie’s feelings for him. Max, who seemed to only view her as my best friend, nothing more and nothing less.
“Unrequited love sucks,” I said.
Lizzie snorted out an unladylike laugh. “You can say that again.” She turned to me then, her eyes questioning. “Hey, can I ask you a question and you promise not to get mad?”
“I can’t promise anything like that, but you can ask me.”
“What changed your mind about going out with Lorenzo? I know you said it was because of how sweet he was, but you were pretty adamant before about just being his friend. Are you only with Lorenzo to get over Mason?”
I sighed. “I want to say no, but that would only be partly true. But I can’t wait for the rest of my life on the off chance that Mason might like me back. I don’t think that would ever happen. I mean, aside from the obvious, I don’t think he sees me as anything more than his brother’s ward. He might even view me as his little sister, and at this point, I’m not sure which is worse.”
She grimaced. “Yeah, I can see that.”
“But I’m also with Lorenzo because he makes me happy. I can’t remember a time I enjoyed hanging out with someone besides you. He always makes me laugh on our dates, and I do look forward to seeing him. So there’s that.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but the doorbell cut her off. We shared a look. Lorenzo was here.
“Oh, don’t worry. Maybe it won’t be so bad. Max can be nice, I’m sure of it.”
“Sure, we think he’s nice, but that’s because we only ever got to see the nice version of him. But I’ve seen grown men sweat talking to Max.” This was especially true when I visit him at work. There was a whole other side to him there that made me glad I only ever knew the nice version.
Lizzie stood and pulled me up as well. “Come on, you don’t want to keep the boyfriend waiting.”
“Right.”
I opened the door to Lorenzo’s smiling face, a dozen red roses in one hand, and a tray of what looked like tiramisu in the other. “Hey, Olivia. You look beautiful today.”
I smiled. I wasn’t wearing any makeup and I barely brushed my hair this morning, but I was glad he thought so. “Thanks. Are those for me?” I pointed at the red roses and he handed them over.
“Yeah.”
“Well, come on in. Max and Mason are setting up the grill in the backyard. I’m sure they’ll be glad to see you’re here.” I noticed his silver Mazda parked haphazardly on the driveway before I closed the door.
I shot Lizzie a look to keep her from saying anything, and her grin widened. Lorenzo walked in, gave me a swift kiss on my lips, and gave a one-arm hug to Lizzie. She grabbed the dessert out of his hand. “This looks good.”
“Thanks. My mom made it this last night.”
“Be sure to thank her for me,” I said.
I had only met his parents one other time, not counting that time I saw his dad at the restaurant. They were both very nice and very attractive. Lorenzo was a spitting image of his dad, save for his hair color. That, he got from his mom.
“I will.”
“Max and Mason are in the backyard. Why don’t we join them?” I said, setting the roses down on the dining room table.
“Sure. I can’t wait to see them again,” Lorenzo said, and he sounded genuine. Poor, naïve boy. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into.
Lizzie hid her grin by looking down at the dessert, and I stuck my tongue out at her when she finally looked up. Her grin widened.
When we opened the patio door, both men turned toward us. They smiled at Lizzie and me, but turned serious when they took in Lorenzo. I groaned inwardly.
Everything was tense for a moment or two before Max finally broke the silence and said in a polite voice, “Lorenzo. So good of you to join us today.”
“I’m happy to be here, sir.”
“Right.”
I did groan out loud then. “What are we having?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Well, sweetheart, we are having a steak kebab with vegetables. Mason and I will grill the steaks. Lorenzo, why don’t you join us?” At least Max was asking Lorenzo to join them. I could work with this.
Mason turned to Lizzie and me then. “Why don’t you girls prepare a salad and make some iced tea? Give Max and me some time to talk to Lorenzo.”
I bit my lip, unsure. How rude would it be if I said no? I didn’t want to leave Lorenzo with Max and Mason. That was like leaving a baby lamb with two hungry wolves. It felt a little like abuse.
He must have sensed my hesitation, because Mason shot me a gentle smile before mouthing ‘Go’ when no one was paying attention. I gave a small nod, grabbed Lizzie’s hand and walked to the kitchen.
I saw Lorenzo talking to the men through the garden window, but it was hard to tell how their conversation was going just based off on their body language. Plus, with Lorenzo’s back to me, I couldn’t exactly tell how he was faring.
“I think everything is going well, don’t you?” Lizzie chirped.
I shot her a look and she wink. “You’re impossible.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “True. But you love me anyway.”
I smiled. I did. I really did.
13
Olivia
The barbeque was an awkward affair I had no wish to ever repeat.
It felt more like an interrogation than anything else, and it didn’t just come from Max. Mason joined in as well, and my earlier assessment of him had been off the mark. He wasn’t intimidating. He was downright scary.
Lorenzo was quiet when I walked him to the door that night. “Well, have a good night,” I said.
He seemed distracted when he said, “Yeah. Thanks. You, too.” He leaned in to kiss me, and I moved forward. I always liked it when he kissed me. I didn’t have a lot of experience in this department, but Lorenzo knew how to kiss.
A cough startled us. We both turned to see Max standing by the threshold of entryway, his large arms crossed over his large chest. “Goodnight, Lorenzo.”
The message was clear in his voice. I wouldn’t be getting my goodnight kiss tonight. My mouth twisted in disappointment, especially when Lorenzo stammered out, “G-Goodnight. Thanks again for having me over,” then patted my back, as if I were a really good friend of his, and walked quickly
out the door.
“Thanks a lot,” I said sarcastically, brushing past Max on my way to the kitchen. Lizzie was wiping down the table while Mason did the dishes. They both turned to me when I entered, Max following close behind.
I didn’t look at either one of them. In reality, I knew things could have been a lot worse. But they could also have been a lot better, if Max hadn’t acted so much like my protective older brother. Lizzie shot me a questioning look, and I didn’t want to explain how I couldn’t even kiss Lorenzo because Max was in the way.
“You should stay the night,” Max said to Mason. And despite my anger, my interest was piqued. Having Mason stay the night? He never stayed the night before.
“I don’t think I need to. I didn’t have that much to drink.”
“Nonsense. You drank about as much as me, and I’m already feeling a little buzzed. I won’t have you driving home like that.”
Mason smirked. “That’s because you’re getting old, old man. Me? I’m not even thirty yet. I have much better stamina than you.”
Max rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You’re staying, and that’s that.”
Mason turned to me and winked. “Even when we’re both grown men, he still thinks he can tell me what to do.”
I lost the battle against my anger with Max and smiled. “He is bossy. Isn’t that right, Lizzie?”
“Yup,” she agreed.
“What’s this? Pick on Max night?”
I laughed, and Max pulled me toward him. He laid a heavy arm on my shoulder and ruffled my hair. “I’m still mad at you, you know,” I grumbled quietly, so only he heard, while I fixed my hair.
“I know, kiddo. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t sound sorry.”
He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, and I rolled my eyes, moving out from under his arm.
Sweat coated my forehead as I stared up at my bedroom ceiling, counting the glow-in-the-dark stars, my breathing erratic.
Lizzie mumbled incoherently in her sleep on her air mattress by my bed, but she otherwise didn’t wake.
It was just a nightmare, nothing more. It didn’t make it true. So why didn’t I feel better? This was the first time I had a nightmare about Max leaving, and I didn’t know what brought it on. Was it stress from Lorenzo’s visit? Or something else?
Quietly, I climbed out of bed and walked out of the room. My skin prickled with awareness as I made my way through the dark house, telling myself I was no longer that little girl who was scared of the dark.
I made my way to Max’s bedroom and sat down on the floor, my back against the door, listening. I knew he wouldn’t sneak off into the night, especially tonight of all nights, but my anxiety was back, and I didn’t know how to make it stop.
Five minutes had passed before I heard a rustling noise inside, a small squeak as Max shifted in bed, and finally, the sound I waited to hear. The soft snore coming from the room. My shoulders sagged in relief, and I let a small sigh, leaning my head against the door and closing my eyes.
Max was still in his room, fast asleep. I knew he was all along, but it was nice to have that confirmation. He wasn’t a loud sleeper, although sometimes I wished he were. He would occasionally snore, but there were nights when I had to wait over an hour before I heard him.
I could go back to sleep now that I knew Max was still here. I could put away my worries for another night. I yawned and my eyes watered. I wanted to go back to bed, but the floor suddenly felt too comfortable to leave.
Maybe if I stayed here for five more minutes?
“What are you doing out here?” a voiced asked softly.
I gasped and startled back, only to be block by the door. My eyes opened and I found Mason’s huge frame outlined in the darkness in front of me. Thank God I didn’t scream and wake the whole house.
“You were sitting so still in the dark, I thought you were a ghost. You almost scared me half to death.”
“Me? What about you? Don’t you know not to sneak up on people in the dark?”
“Speaking of which, what are you doing sitting in front of Max’s door in the dark?”
I was thankful that there wasn’t enough lighting here for Mason to make out my expression. “Nothing,” I said, looking down.
I thought maybe he would go back to his room and leave me alone, because no matter how you looked at it, it was still pretty weird that I was sitting out here alone. And I couldn’t very well explain the real reason.
But Mason didn’t walk away. Instead, he reached down for me. Too stunned to stop him, I let him pull me up until I was standing directly in front of him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and moved me forward. I was too busy trying not to pass out to help him because… He. Was. Touching. Me.
Me!
Mason had never been so close to me before, and I let him lead me away in a daze until we reached the kitchen. He moved around, boiling some hot water and taking out two mugs from the cabinet and two bags of chamomile tea. He didn’t turn on the lights, but I didn’t think he needed to. The garden window just above the sink let in enough light from the streetlamp outside.
“You should sit down.”
“Oh, alright.” I took a seat on the bar stool by the island, looking outside to the empty dark street.
“Can’t sleep?” He asked, handing me a hot mug.
I shrugged. “Not really.”
He took the seat next to me, so close I could feel his body heat coming off him. I had the sudden urge to move closer and bury myself into him. I restrained myself, though, but just barely.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, not really. You would think I’m weird.”
“You don’t know that. Try me.”
“You really want to hear about my problems?”
“Yeah, Olivia. I do.”
I took a deep breath, not sure if I wanted to tell him. I had only ever discussed my abandonment issues with Dr Greene. Not even Lizzie knew how unstable I felt these days.
But how much better would it be if I told Mason? What if he looked at me differently after this? I didn’t want him to see nothing but my problems whenever he saw me.
Mason patiently waited for me to gather my thoughts as he quietly sipped on his hot tea next to me. Smoke was billowing from the cup and, even in the darkness, I could make out the swirls of it. Mason blew on the cup, making me lose focus. I looked back at him.
“Sometimes, I’m afraid Max will leave me in the middle of the night, like my mom did.”
He nodded in acknowledgement, but otherwise didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at me any differently than he had before. There wasn’t any sympathy in his eyes. Feeling brave, I told him everything. I told him about my dad leaving, about my mom’s last day with me before she left me with Max, about how normal she acted that day, as if she hadn’t been planning on leaving all along.
Looking back, I could see that it wasn’t a decision she made on the whim. Everything had already been planned out, starting with that first missed payment on the mortgage. Hell, she had been the one to encourage me to get a job. She did everything she could to make sure I wouldn’t need her anymore, and instead, I ended up clinging to Max like he was my lifeline. And perhaps, in a way, he was.
I also told Mason about how much I wished I didn’t miss them. Just admitting to such made me feel vulnerable. And I told him about my therapy sessions with Dr Greene, too.
By the time I finished, dawn was reaching the sky, and I knew Max would be up soon. Mason spoke very little during the whole conversation. He didn’t tell me I shouldn’t feel this way. He didn’t even try to convince me that Max wouldn’t leave.
Until then, I didn’t know I just needed someone to listen to me.
Mason washed our mugs and led me upstairs. He stopped right outside my door, tucking in a strand of brown hair behind my ear. “I know we still don’t know each other very well, but if you ever need someone to talk to, be it three in the morning or afternoon, I’ll always be ava
ilable. I know it’s not always easy to talk to Max about these things, so…” he shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. But it was. It was a huge deal. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”
I nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Mason.”
“Any time, Livie.”
I grinned. “Livie?”
“Yeah, I figured it was better than little one.”
“Uh, yeah. Definitely better.”
“Good. But you should know, I still think little one is quite fitting.”
“That’s because you’re a giant. Everyone is little to you,” I said, exasperated.
Mason chuckled. “Go to sleep.”
Was there something wrong with me because I found his commanding voice hot? I resisted the urge to swoon, and instead mocked a salute and walked to my room. The last thing I saw before closing the door was Mason’s intense blue eyes on me. I almost regretted closing the door so quickly.
I liked it when he looked at me.
Lizzie was still asleep on the air mattress, the blanket half on her, half on the floor. I straightened it out, so that it covered her legs fully, before falling back on my bed, feeling some of the weight that had been bearing me down in the recent months lifting.
14
Mason
I stared at the closed door for a while, feeling lost.
I probably shouldn’t be caught dead standing outside her room at this time in the night, yet my brain felt like molasses. I just stood there, not thinking about anything but what she’d told me.
I hadn’t realized Grace’s abandonment had affected Olivia so deeply. Hell, it probably started with Michael’s abandonment, and yet I had no clue.
She hid it so well.
I thought she was well adjusted. A little quiet, very shy, but that was just a personality thing. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yet to fear Max would leave her like her parents…
I wanted to grab her shoulders then, and tell her that if there was one person she didn’t have to worry about leaving her, it was Max. That when it came to her, he would do almost anything.
