Love and Happiness

by Ben Burgess, Jr

  Roger and Andre shook hands.

  As soon as Andre and I left Roger’s side and turned around to mingle some more, Tyrell was smack-dab in my face.

  “Hi, Karen. Can we talk?” he said.

  I sighed. “What do you want to talk about, Tyrell?”

  “All I’m asking for is five minutes . . . Please.”

  I mouthed to Andre, “Give me a minute.”

  Andre nodded.

  Tyrell and I stepped off to the side so that we could have a modicum of privacy.

  “Karen, I’ve been calling, texting, and emailing you. You haven’t answered any of my messages.”

  “Because what we had is over, Tyrell. I lost a marriage over my mistake with you.”

  Andre was sitting at our table now, giving me space, but his eyes stayed on Tyrell and my every move. I nodded to let him know everything was okay.

  “You got thirty seconds. Say your piece,” I told Tyrell.

  “Let’s get back what we had. I know I was fucked up with the way I acted, but you know how I feel about you.”

  “And how is that?”

  He leaned in close to my ear. “I love you, Karen.”

  “Oh, stop. The only thing you loved was fucking me. Those times are dead and gone. Have a good night. And say hello to your wife, Pamela, for me.”

  I was turning to head back over to Andre when Tyrell grabbed my arm and spun me back to face him.

  “I’m not done talking to you yet. Who’s the dude you’re with?” he said.

  I yanked my arm away. “He’s none of your concern, and don’t you ever put your hands on me again.”

  “I’m sorry, all right? I just feel like you’re not seeing I’m being real with you.”

  Having read my body language with Tyrell, Andre stood up from the table, walked over, and gave him a stiff shove.

  “Your time is up, brother. She’s with me,” Andre said.

  “Mind your business. I’m talking to Karen.”

  Andre shoved him again. “This is the last time I’m going to tell you. Back off. She’s with me.”

  They stared each other down. Roger and some other coworkers looked in our direction. I stepped between Andre and Tyrell before things got out of hand and I ended up embarrassed in front of important people in my company.

  “Tyrell, have a good night,” I said.

  “So that’s it? After all the things we did and all the time we spent together, that’s it?” Tyrell muttered.

  “That’s it,” I said.

  He shook his head, huffed, and stormed out of the party.

  Andre took my hand.

  “Thanks for rescuing me,” I said, smiling at him.

  “Was that the Tyrell you told me you had the past with?”

  “Yup, that was him.”

  Andre kissed my hand.

  “I’m glad you’re here with me,” I said.

  “I’m glad you invited me.”

  I hugged him. “Seriously, thank you. That was hard for me.”

  He leaned in, and we kissed. His soft lips felt heavenly on mine.

  “I’m here for you, K. I want you to see that.”

  * * *

  On our tenth date, I went to Andre’s condo. We had finished having dinner, and he invited me to see where he lived.

  “Well, this is the place I call home,” he said as we stood in the entryway.

  “You mind if I walk around?”

  “You want a tour?”

  “Nah. I can manage on my own.”

  I strolled from room to room, admiring his home but also looking to see if there were any signs that he was living with a woman. He had a modest place. It wasn’t cluttered or messy, but it could use a woman’s touch.

  A few minutes later Andre and I sat down on the couch. His hand grazed my breast as he drew me close to him. We shared a nice soft kiss. My wandering hands traveled down his chest to his crotch. I rubbed, massaged, and measured the outline in his pants, which was swelling and throbbing. His hands traveled under my skirt. He pulled down my thong and massaged the head of my clit. Our gaze was so intense; our breathing, so thick and heavy. I thought about the last sexual experience I had had, the one where I had creeped out of a random man’s hotel room early in the morning. I had disrespected myself for too long and had shared my treasure with men who weren’t worth my time. I stopped massaging his dick and moved his hand from my clit.

  He looked confused. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “Not yet.”

  “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No. I need more time to get to know you before I share myself completely.”

  Disappointment was in his eyes. He sighed and adjusted himself in his jeans.

  I thought that maybe it was a mistake to be here. I started to get up to leave, but he gently held my hand and said, “Stay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. When you’re ready, I’m ready.”

  I smiled at him.

  After that night, I felt comfortable hanging around his house. We would often end up falling asleep while holding each other on his couch. Sometimes our passion would lead us to a lot of touching and kissing, but he never pressured me. There was no fucking involved, though. I didn’t want to waste a number on another loser. I needed to be sure he was worthy of experiencing the privilege of being intimate with me.

  We talked on the phone every day. He would stop by my job on my lunch hour to take me out, and if I was swamped with work and couldn’t have lunch with him, he’d bring lunch to my office.

  By date twenty-five, I felt I was ready. We went to the boardwalk at Jones Beach, held hands, and walked and talked.

  “I want you,” I said.

  He looked me in the eyes and said, “I want you too.”

  “I mean, I’m ready to share myself with you completely.”

  “Are you sure? I’m a patient man. For you, I’m willing to wait. I want our first time to be special.”

  “I couldn’t be surer.”

  “What made you realize that you wanted to be intimate with me?” he asked.

  “I appreciate the little things you’ve been doing for me. You’ve been respectful, a gentleman, and I trust you. I haven’t trusted a man in a long time.”

  Andre wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me to him, then slid his tongue in my mouth and kissed me. This wasn’t our first kiss, but this time it felt different, more genuine. Each second I kissed him, I felt my heart thawing and welcoming his embrace.

  * * *

  Our clothes were scattered all over Andre’s bedroom floor. We’d been all over each other, kissing and groping as soon as we reached his front door. We stood next to his bed now in our underwear, holding each other, our breathing choppy and erratic. He pulled off his boxers, then slid my panties down my legs and dropped them to the floor. I tugged and twisted my engagement ring and wedding band. Once I got them off, I placed them on his nightstand. I felt naked without them, but it was time to move on and let go. My body desperately needed this. It had been so long since I had felt the need to have a man fill me, stretch me, and fuck me.

  Andre kissed my neck while he held my breasts.

  “Mmm,” I moaned.

  He leaned down and sucked my nipples, alternating from one to the other. Then Andre took my hand and laid me on the bed. He knelt down, caressed my legs, and sucked on my toes. I was in complete bliss. My treasure was wet and aching for relief.

  I looked at him and said, “I’m ready.”

  He nodded, stood up, and opened one of his dresser drawers. After retrieving a condom, he tore open the packet. His dick looked scrumptious as he rolled on his condom.

  Andre climbed on the bed and lowered himself gently on top of me. I was trying to hold back my emotions. I was also attempting to convince myself that I wanted this to be no more than another meaningless fuck with a fine man, but that was a lie. I wanted this to be real. I wanted this to have meaning and to lead to more.

  I gazed into his eyes. “Don’
t . . . hurt me, okay?”

  He cradled my face, gently stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. “I have no intention of ever doing you wrong.”

  He kissed me, and at that moment, all my negative thoughts, worries, and emotions vanished. The way he handled me made me believe his desire was deeper than sex.

  He placed soft kisses on my collarbone, then on my nipples. I felt the plump head of his cock graze the entrance to my treasure. I writhed and moaned in anticipation. I caught my breath when he entered me. He started out slow and steady. I shivered at the sensation of his fullness traveling between my lips, into my slit, and deep inside me. He spread my thighs even more. I got even wetter as I watched his thick dick work its magic as it slid in and out of me. The wait was worth it!

  I held on for dear life, at his mercy, as his pace quickened and his depth increased. I reached up and caressed his face. He sucked on my fingers and continued his deep strokes. Each stroke broke down the walls I had built around my heart. Eventually, I pulled my fingers from his mouth and gripped his shoulders. Consumed by pleasure, I held Andre close and kissed the side of his face as I trembled at the strength of my orgasm. Andre kept pumping into me. Then his breathing quickened, and he moaned into my mouth. His eyes were shut tight, and he bit his bottom lip. He groaned and shuddered as I felt him release. His dick pulsated inside me when he came.

  Afterward, I lay on top of Andre as we both panted. I was still shaking from my orgasm as he placed soft kisses on my neck. Our sex was so intense and so good. It was exactly what I needed. At some point, I rolled off of him, and we spooned. I felt butterflies when he kissed the back of my neck and rubbed my shoulders. Then we fell into a deep sleep.

  I woke up in the morning in Andre’s arms. He was still sleeping comfortably. In my head, I began to consider whether he was better or worse in bed than Chris. I closed my eyes and stopped myself, blocking out that thought. They both pleased me in different ways, and in order to truly let go, I had to stop comparing every man to Chris. I had had a beautiful, satisfying evening. I savored the moment and snuggled closer to Andre. In my head, I’d already accepted that nothing would come out of fucking him, but I decided to enjoy this moment. I figured that either he would either hit it and quit it or he would want to be a steady booty call. The choice to keep him as a booty call was mine alone, but If he wanted that option, I would cut his ass off in a second. I was sure this would be a one-time affair.

  * * *

  I couldn’t believe I was telling myself this, but Andre Miles had stolen my heart! This wasn’t supposed to happen, and I sure as hell wasn’t looking for it, but fate had brought him into my life and had ignited feelings in me I thought were long dead and buried. I had thought that as soon as he got some ass, he would be gone, but he had stayed around. I had figured I’d keep him around as a lover, as someone who wasn’t technically my man, but he wanted to be exclusive and official. I had thought that as time went by, he would get too comfortable, and all the things I loved about him would fade, but he’d been consistent.

  My sister and my friends loved him. He had gone out dancing with all of us several times and had enjoyed relaxing and having a good time with us after a long workweek.

  Tonight we were at Avenue, a nightclub on Tenth Avenue in Manhattan. Chloe was dancing with Lindsey, while Vivian and Judy danced with guys they had met at the club. Beyoncé’s “7/11” boomed from the club’s speakers. As I ground my ass against Andre and twerked like a stripper, he held on to my hips and rubbed his cock against my ass.

  “Ooh, get it, sis,” Chloe yelled.

  I turned around, wrapped my arms around Andre’s neck, and swayed to the beat. Andre looked at me like I was the only woman in the club. After a couple more songs, I decided to sit some out. I left the dance floor and sat down next to Chloe and Lindsey, while Andre danced with Vivian and Judy.

  “Sis, your man is too fine,” Chloe said, fanning herself.

  “Thanks. I enjoy him,” I said, looking at Andre with admiration.

  “It’s nice to see you so happy again, K,” Lindsey said.

  “I’m not trying to bash Chris anymore, but you’re a much better fit with Andre. He gives you more of what you want. I never really hated Chris. I just wanted to see you happy,” Chloe commented.

  “Are you saying that now because you’re secretly dating Will?” I asked.

  “Way to ruin a nice moment, sis.”

  We laughed.

  When the song that was playing ended, Andre walked over to Chloe, grabbed her hand, and took her to the dance floor, where they rejoined Vivian and Judy. The four of them danced to “Tuesday,” by ILoveMakonnen, and made funny faces at me.

  “Look at you. You’re glowing, K,” Lindsey said as she gazed out at the dance floor.

  I giggled. “I know. He makes me very happy.”

  * * *

  Andre was everything I needed.

  He was attentive.

  For example, one day when I was at work, finishing a huge report, my phone rang.

  “Hey, baby,” Andre said when I picked up.

  “Hi, honey. I was just thinking about you.”

  Doing his best Stevie Wonder impression, he sang, “I just called to say I love you!”

  “Aw, I love you too.”

  Andre made sure to text me and to call me every day to see how I was doing. And even when I talked his ear off, he listened to me. It made me feel warm inside when he remembered small details from previous conversations.

  He was giving.

  He sent flowers to me at my job. He made romantic plans for us at least once a week. And sexually, he always made sure I was satisfied.

  Andre was understanding.

  For instance, the other day I was presented with quite a dilemma, and despite the fact that it was a bit awkward for him, Andre offered to help. When I turned down his offer, he completely understood where I was coming from.

  “Fuck!” I shouted as I stood in the kitchen, preparing a cup of tea.

  “What up, babe?” Andre said as he stared at me from his spot at the table.

  “Chris just texted me. The kids have a birthday party they’re invited to on Saturday, and he can’t take them, because he made plans with Nadine. I planned on going into the office to do OT, but I guess that’s not happening now.”

  “If you want, I’ll take them to the party so you can work,” he offered without blinking.

  I smiled. “Thanks, but you would be a total stranger to them.”

  “Whose fault is that? I’d love to meet your kids. I’m down for helping you with them anytime.”

  “Soon. I’m not ready to introduce you to them yet. I need a little more time in our relationship before I’ll be comfortable with that, okay?”

  “I get it. Does Chris know about me?”

  “Not yet. I don’t discuss my love life with him. It’s a little weird, since our divorce . . .” I sighed and held his hand. “I’m not ashamed of you. I just need your patience with these things, please.”

  “I’ll fall back and let you and Chris handle things for now, but I’m in this for the long run. I want to be fully involved in your life.”

  In all honesty, if things ended quickly with Andre, I didn’t want Chris to think I was always in failing relationships. I shouldn’t care what Chris thought about me at this point, but I did. I was lucky to have someone like Andre, who knew when to give me my space and when to give me extra love and affection to make me feel better.

  Andre complimented me often and made me feel special. I saw the sincerity in his eyes when he told me that I was beautiful and that he loved me. He included me in his plans and saw a future with me. Most importantly, Andre did all the little things I liked without me asking him to. He was crazy about me. Furthermore, he appreciated me, and I made sure he knew I appreciated him too. He put in the effort, so I matched his work. I thanked him, complimented him, and told him how much he meant to me often, something I had neglected to do when I was married to Chris.


  When we had our little spats, this time around I held nothing inside. I told him what bothered me, but I also took the time to determine the things that I had fucked up on. When I messed up, I owned it and apologized. For example, one evening I gave Andre a really hard time about going to hang out with his buddies without me. Then I realized how selfish I was being. I owned it when I saw him later that night at his place.

  “I’m sorry. I know I was selfish. You work a lot, and the little bit of time you do have, you mostly spend it with me. I shouldn’t have given you shit about hanging out with your friends,” I said.

  Andre nodded. “It’s not like I don’t invite you out to hang out with us. Tonight was guys’ night, and we rarely have those.”

  He was right. Most of the time, he invited me to hang out with his friends Kyle, Brandon, and Keith. They were good guys, all married and successful. Andre had been friends with them since elementary school. Now and then, we would all go out as couples.

  “I’m sorry. Do you forgive me?” I said.

  “You know I can’t stay mad at you,” Andre said, then kissed me.

  Andre wasn’t perfect; he had his flaws. Everyone did. But he was definitely the type of man I needed.

  Chris

  The club was packed. The music thumped, and everyone moved and grooved to the rhythm.

  “Baby, can you get me something to drink?” Nadine asked me.

  “Yeah. What would you like, my dear?”

  “You know what I like,” she said, licking her lips.

  “Don’t start nothing you can’t finish in here,” I joked.

  “Who said I would finish it in here?” she said, bouncing her eyebrows.

  “I’ll hold you to that when we get home.”

  “You better!” Nadine playfully slapped my ass when I turned to get her drink.

  I pushed through the crowd and headed for the bar. In front of me a woman with a shapely figure was swaying her ass to the music. When she turned around, she damn near bumped into me. Of all the places I could’ve bumped into Karen, it had to be at this club. I didn’t want to be rude, so I spoke to her.

  “Hey, Karen. How are you?”

  “I’m well. I’m surprised to see you in here. You hate clubs,” she replied.