Love and Happiness

by Ben Burgess, Jr

  “Yeah, well, Nadine likes to dance, so—” I began, but she interrupted me.

  “I liked to dance when we were together too—”

  I interrupted her and changed the subject. “Who has the kids?”

  “Lindsey and Chloe are staying overnight at the house. They’re treating the girls to the movies and ice cream.”

  “Cool. Are you here with Vivian and Judy?”

  She fidgeted, and she had a little smirk on her face. “They’re over there.” She pointed them out on the dance floor. “But I’m actually here with my man . . .”

  I swallowed hard. “Oh . . . I didn’t know you had someone new in your life.”

  “I know.”

  There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

  She pointed. “There he is.”

  I saw a tall brother heading toward us. He walked up and looked me up and down. The dude was tall, but he had nothing on me. If he thought he was intimidating me, he was highly mistaken. He leaned in, kissed Karen, and wrapped his arm around her. It was obvious he thought I was trying to hit on her.

  “Look at you, sexy. I leave to go to the bathroom for five minutes, and brothers are flocking to you,” he told Karen.

  “Honey, this is actually my ex-husband, Chris. Chris, this is Andre.”

  I braced myself for tension, but the guy’s expression was pleasant.

  “Oh, how are you, Chris?” He shook my hand. “I’m Andre. Karen speaks very highly of you. She said you’re a good brother that takes care of his children. I respect that.”

  His statement shocked me. I could tell Karen was just as surprised, but she smiled and hugged him.

  “Well, thank you. I appreciate it,” I said. “I got to order my lady her drink, but it was nice meeting you, Andre. Take care of Kar . . . I mean, you two have a good night.”

  Karen smiled at me, and I gave them both a friendly nod.

  I went to the bar and ordered a martini straight up with a twist for Nadine. I walked back to her and handed her the drink.

  “Is that who I think it is?” she asked.

  “Yup.”

  “Is everything cool? Do you want to go? We don’t have to stay here if you’re not comfortable.”

  “Are you having a good time?” I asked her.

  “Yes, but—”

  “Are you happy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then everything is cool. Karen’s toned down her bitchiness, and her new man is respectful. We’re good.”

  Nadine smiled and gave me a light kiss.

  “What’s that for?” I asked.

  “I’m sure you don’t want to be here, especially now that Karen is here, but you want to stay because you know it makes me happy.”

  I nodded.

  “That’s what I love about you,” she told me.

  Chris Brown’s “New Flame” came on. The DJ called for all the couples to make their way to the dance floor. Nadine grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. I held her close and stared at her, in awe of how good she looked with her head on my chest. We swayed to the music, and she looked like she was in heaven. At some point I glanced over at Karen and her new guy. I watched as he pulled her close. She held his hands, smiled, and stared lovingly in his eyes. The way she looked at him, I knew she loved him.

  As I watched them, a flame of jealousy sparked inside me. Nadine had my heart. I loved her, and she’d been my rock, but when I looked over at Karen, I saw my past. Seeing this man succeed in making Karen happy made me feel like a failure. It sucked. But I shook those thoughts off and thought about the woman who was in my arms, the woman who deserved my heart.

  I leaned close and whispered in Nadine’s ear. “You look beautiful, baby.”

  “Aw, thank you.”

  “I love you, Nadine.”

  She looked up at me. “I love you too, Chris.”

  I couldn’t deny that I felt some type of way seeing Karen with another man, but we were over, and she deserved someone who could make her happy. That responsibility wasn’t mine anymore. I had what I needed in Nadine.

  Karen

  “I know you have the kids coming, so I’ll go now. I’ll text you when I get home,” Andre said as he stood in the middle of my bedroom.

  I yawned and stretched as I stepped out of bed. “No, you don’t have to leave. Stay.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yup. It’s time.”

  Andre had met my friends and my sister. He had finally met Chris, though not exactly the way I would’ve planned it, but it had still worked out. The only thing I needed to do now was introduce him to my children.

  An hour later Chris brought the girls over to the house.

  “Hey, Mommy!” Jocelyn said when she ran through the front door.

  “Morning!” Jaclyn said.

  “Hey, girls,” I called as I walked toward them, with Andre right behind me.

  They stopped in their tracks when they saw Andre.

  “Girls, this is Mommy’s friend, Andre.”

  They said hello to him, shook his hand, then ran to the couch and turned on the TV.

  We laughed.

  “Good morning, Chris,” I said, kissing him on the cheek.

  “Good morning.” Then Chris looked past me and said, “Hey, Andre.”

  Andre stood next to me and shook Chris’s hand. “What’s up, brother? How are you?” he said.

  “I’m good.”

  Andre looked past Chris and out the window and said, “Is that your Mustang out there in the driveway?”

  Chris nodded. “Yeah. You want to check it out?”

  “Hell yeah!”

  “You got it working?” I asked, surprised.

  Chris nodded again. “Yup.”

  Chris took Andre for a quick drive around the block. A part of me was worried that they’d discuss me or end up fighting, but all I could do was trust that things would be fine. In their absence, I talked to the girls about Andre. I explained that he made me very happy, and that he’d be hanging out with us for a while.

  Chris and Andre came back inside the house and wouldn’t shut up about cars. While it annoyed me to hear them babbling about different engines and horsepower, I was glad they got along.

  As the days passed, Andre spent more and more time with the girls and me. He helped them with their homework; took them to amusement parks, like Adventureland and Great Adventure; and read them bedtime stories on the nights I was exhausted from work. The kids were fond of him, but Chris was the most important man in their lives, as he should be.

  Chris

  I’d been with Nadine for over a year, and I couldn’t be happier. She had sold her house. She’d said the memory of her ex-husband cheating on her still lived in those walls. She’d explained that living with me in my . . . our house would be a fresh start.

  She’d been with me through my toughest times: Karen’s cheating, my father’s death, and my divorce. I cared for her. I trusted her. I loved her. Nadine made me better. But there were times when I would fuck up and go back to my old habits. Today was one of those days.

  “Baby, I’m going to shower. Come and join me,” Nadine said as we stood in our bedroom.

  I was exhausted from working all day and playing with the kids afterward. “Nah. I’m just going to watch some of this Nets game. I’ll be here when you come out.”

  Nadine undressed, stood in front of me, rubbed her breasts on my face, and said, “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  I thought about the times when Karen had asked me to shower with her and I had turned her down. I didn’t want history to repeat itself.

  “Well, in that case, you have my undivided attention,” I said.

  I tore my clothes off. Nadine giggled as I lifted her up and carried her into the shower. We bathed each other, and I gave her the affection she craved.

  What I loved about Nadine was that instead of fighting with me or letting things build up, she took the initiative. If she wanted me to hold her hand, she grabbed m
y hand. Her straightforwardness was what I needed. It helped me realize when I was acting like a jackass, and since she didn’t complain all the time, I want to do those types of things for her. For instance, I hated clubs, but she loved dancing. Out of love for her, I sucked it up, danced, and had a good time when we went to them.

  With Karen, I had never been vocal about my feelings. And Karen had felt that I didn’t see her as more than the mother of my children. She hadn’t felt appreciated. She’d felt that I didn’t listen to her, and the times that I had, she’d thought I believed her feelings were bullshit or not important.

  With Nadine, I was much more expressive. I told her I loved her every time I felt it. Since I was in love with her, I said it often, and it was always genuine. I would also send Nadine random “I miss you” texts and tell her how important she was to me. I complimented her on her hair and her outfits. I hit PAUSE on my movie or the show I was watching on the DVR to see how her day was. And whenever we fought, I was more tactful with how I spoke to her.

  When I’d looked back on my failed marriage with Karen, I’d realized that it was the little things that made a big difference in a relationship, and this time around, I promised myself I would pay attention to those little things. I wanted this relationship to work.

  After a lot of thought, I decided I wanted to be with Nadine in a forever type of way. I talked to my boys about it when they were over at my house one day after work.

  “Man, you’re crazy. You got something good going here. She’s not pressuring you for marriage. You’ve been married before. She’s been married before. You didn’t learn your lesson the first time? Just enjoy each other,” Lou said.

  “The concept of marriage doesn’t have much meaning to you, but it means something to me. I believe in it and what it stands for. I want that with Nadine.” What I did say was that I had learned from my marriage and my divorce, and this time around, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes.

  “Good for you, Chris. Don’t listen to this fool. He hasn’t found the right woman yet,” Will said.

  “And you have? What do you know about finding the right one?” Lou asked.

  “Chloe and I fight a lot, but she’s the only woman that keeps me on my toes. Later on down the road, I could see myself settling down with her,” Will asserted.

  Lou shook his head. “Oh my God. Y’all are ruining the plans we’ve had since college. We’re supposed to be successful bachelors.”

  “We were boys when we made those plans. We’re men now. It’s time to let go of that life,” I argued.

  * * *

  Karen had the kids. I had planned another weekend in the city with Nadine, and off we went. Since there wasn’t much to do on Staten Island, we revisited the Statue of Liberty. In the Bronx, we went to the Bronx Zoo. In Queens, we went on a tour around Citi Field, the Mets’ home turf. In Brooklyn, we went rock climbing at Brooklyn Boulders. On Sunday, after we saw The Lion King on Broadway, I dropped down on one knee in the middle of Times Square and proposed to Nadine.

  “Nadine, I planned this weekend because the first time we did this trip, it transformed our friendship into a relationship. This time around, I wanted this trip to transform our relationship into something more . . .”

  Nadine covered her mouth with her hand. Tourists and passersby from all over stopped to watch us. I reached in my pocket and pulled out her ring, a certified four-carat cushion-cut diamond ring I had made specifically for her.

  “Nadine, will you marry me?”

  Tears streamed down her face as she nodded. Then she stood me up and kissed me. Random strangers cheered for us. I had found true happiness with Nadine. I didn’t fear going into a marriage with her, because she’d always help me get through any drama and pain. I’d evolved into a stronger, better man. I loved Nadine, and I was ready to face any and all challenges that awaited us.

  Karen

  “Mommy!” the girls yelled excitedly as they ran toward me and hugged me.

  “Hey, girls!” I said, accepting their warm embrace.

  The girls ran to their bedroom. Chris was fidgeting in the front doorway.

  “Hey, Chris,” I called.

  “Hey.”

  “How are things going with you?” I asked him.

  “Really good, really good. You mind if I come in to talk to you for a minute?”

  “Sure. Come in.”

  Chris stepped inside and walked a couple of steps past me as I pushed the front door closed. Chris seemed anxious, like something weighed heavily on his mind.

  Andre was sitting on the couch when Chris waved and said, “What’s up?” They exchanged pleasantries, and Andre went back to watching the news. I loved how they were so civil with each other.

  Chris turned to face me.

  “Everything all right?” I asked.

  “Everything is cool. I know this might be weird to ask of you, but I wanted to invite you to my wedding.” Chris pulled an invitation from his pocket and handed it to me.

  “Wow! Congratulations. I’m happy for you. Let me check my schedule, and I’ll get back to you. I’ll definitely try to make it, though.”

  “If you can’t, I understand.”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  Chris nodded, then said good-bye to Andre and me and headed out the door. I sat next to Andre on the couch and handed him the invitation.

  “So, you gonna go?” Andre asked after reading the invitation.

  I wouldn’t lie. When Chris had handed that invitation to me, I had felt a twinge of jealousy. My first reaction had been to turn him down, but there was no need to be jealous. We both had people in our lives whom we loved and who made us happy. Our time together was history.

  “Yeah. Why not? I’ll support him. Besides, I know he’s going to have an open bar, so at least we can get our drink on.”

  “Now you’re talking.”

  * * *

  Months passed, and the day finally arrived. I was attending Chris’s wedding reception, toasting to his marriage. Will and Lou gave great speeches, and to my surprise, they didn’t mention anything negative about his first marriage, or about me, for that matter. Since Will and Chloe were official, she was at the wedding too. She hugged Chris and congratulated him. She and Chris didn’t bicker at all anymore. When our marriage ended, their beef with each other died with it. Chris had invited Jeff and Lindsey to the wedding also, which I thought was nice, because I knew that was Chris’s way of making sure I was comfortable and wasn’t sitting awkwardly with strangers. He had Lindsey, Jeff, Andre, and me all share a table together.

  Chris looked so happy and in love with Nadine. I felt a little sad, because I remembered when he had looked at me that way. However, I put my sadness aside when I walked up to him and Nadine.

  “Congratulations to you both! I wish you guys nothing but blessings and success,” I told them.

  “Aw, thank you, Karen.” Nadine beamed.

  “You look amazing, by the way. Your dress is all that!” I exclaimed.

  “Thank you so much! I’m going to make my way around the room. I don’t want to be rude to my other guests, but I’m really happy that you’re here to support us,” Nadine said.

  We smiled and gave each other a hug.

  While Nadine made the rounds, Chris and I stood next to each other.

  “You look very handsome,” I told him.

  “Thanks. You look beautiful too.”

  “I’m happy for you, Chris. You deserve someone nice. I know I never told you this, but I’m sorry—”

  Chris pulled me in, hugged me briefly, and kissed my forehead. “It’s okay. I forgave you a long time ago. I appreciate you coming. Things with us are over, but a part of me will always love you.”

  “And a part of me will always love you too.”

  There was an awkward patch of silence.

  “Do you ever wonder what things would be like if we had worked things out?” I asked him.

  “Every day, but everything happens for a reason
. We both found people that love us the way we want and need to be loved.”

  I nodded, not quite agreeing, but I understood what he meant. I was getting choked up by then. The girls were playing with Andre, but then they ran up to Chris and me just then. I dabbed my eyes with my sleeves.

  “Hey, girls! Are you guys happy for Daddy?” I asked.

  They giggled and yelled, “Yes!”

  Things with the kids were bittersweet. They were comfortable around Nadine and Andre, but they were also a little older now and understood that their father and I were no longer together. I loved that they got along with our new loves, but the situation itself always left a bitter taste in my mouth.

  Will and Lou walked over and patted Chris on the back.

  “What’s up, Karen?” Lou asked.

  “You look nice,” Will added.

  “I’m good, Lou. Thanks, Will.”

  “Excuse us, Karen. We need to take Chris over to Nadine. Some folks want to take pictures with them,” Lou said.

  “It’s cool,” I said.

  I gave Chris a kiss on the cheek.

  A little while later, as a surprise to Nadine, Chris sang—well, he tried to sing—“Just the Way You Are,” by Bruno Mars. It was cute watching him sing and seeing her blush from embarrassment. When the DJ announced it was time for the first dance, the two of them embraced, looked lovingly into each other’s eyes, and danced slowly to “I Love You,” by Faith Evans. Nadine wrapped her arms around Chris’s neck. They looked euphoric in each other’s arms.

  This may sound weird, but being at the wedding gave me closure. While there were lots of things I would’ve changed with how our marriage ended, I was happy we had both found our true soul mates. I’d always love Chris. He was the father of my children and a good man. I harbored no animosity toward him. I had let those negative feelings go a long time ago.

  After the first dance, Chris and Nadine stood together at a small table and cut the cake. As they were feeding each other pieces of cake, Andre leaned in close to me and whispered, “You ready to go? Lindsey agreed to watch the kids for you and Chris, so I wanted to use this night to sex you up something proper.”