by Jo Lovett
And it would be nice if he could hold a normal conversation. Why would Izzy have any interest in his heritage? He’d literally just listed all four of his grandparents’ ethnicities. Within two minutes of seeing her in person for the first time for several years. Why would anyone with any ability at normal human interaction do such a thing?
‘A peppermint tea would be lovely, thank you.’ Izzy smiled at Sam. The smile went right to somewhere deep inside him. Such a great smile. Very genuine, which made sense because if there was one thing that he’d found out about her over the past few months, it was that she was a very genuine person. Kind. Great sense of humour. And what was wrong with him now, losing himself in thought? He should smile back at her for Chrissake. He moved his lips into a smile. There. Better.
‘Great,’ he said, finding words again. ‘And I’ll get a decaf macchiato. The kids are always nagging me to lower my caffeine intake, which is a difficult thing to do when you’re permanently running a twenty-hour-a-week sleep deficit, but it’s the weekend and I’ve finished my work so now we’re officially on a mini-break. I slept well last night too.’ Fantastic. Now he was talking about his sleep. Great conversational skills. He didn’t have these problems when he talked to other people. Or when he was emailing Izzy. Maybe he should have stuck to writing rather than suggesting meeting in person. ‘Any cake?’
‘I normally would but I promised to take Ruby out for early-evening pizza later, so I’m going to pass. But you go ahead.’
‘I’m good. I’m more of a savoury man. Cheese would be a much greater vice for me. Especially here in Europe where you have so many great ones to choose from.’
‘What’s your favourite European cheese?’
‘Beaufort. I think it’s from the French Alps. It’s very nutty in flavour.’
‘Mmm, I like that one too. It’s similar to Gruyère.’
However mundane the topic, Sam loved talking to Izzy.
They found a table for four next to a window with a fantastic view over rooftops and the streets below, and sat down with the twins, Sam and Barney on one side of the rectangular table, and Izzy and Liv on the other.
‘Look at that.’ Izzy was pointing at a colourful rooftop garden. ‘This is one of the things I love about London. There’s always something new to see. I’ve sat up here loads of times, and I’ve never seen that garden before. Look, there’s a hammock.’
‘That is very cool.’ Sam leaned forward to get a better view, which also caused him to catch Izzy’s scent: a lovely vanilla/strawberry combination. Was he inhaling too deeply? Fortunately, the twins were talking, so hopefully no-one would have noticed.
‘Okay,’ said Izzy, ‘so what would be in your ideal roof garden?’
‘An ice cream machine.’ Barney was straight there with his answer.
‘Amazing bright flowers that stay in bloom all year round,’ said Liv, ‘plus, obviously, a hammock like that.’
‘We did actually have a hammock when we were kids. It must still be somewhere at your grandparents’ house. Maybe in one of the sheds.’ Sam couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought about it before. Too busy to think about fun activities with the kids.
‘Awesome,’ breathed Liv, even less like her usual aloof self. ‘Can we get it out next weekend?’
‘I can’t see why not.’ Sam prayed that he wouldn’t be too flat out with work to head out to his parents’ place. It was so refreshing when Liv exhibited child-like enthusiasm for life.
The conversation flowed easily. Barney and Liv, despite living in a fourth-floor apartment close to Central Park, which wasn’t short on views, were both fascinated by the London views around them, and by Izzy’s local knowledge. Liv was smiling away, her usual cynicism set to one side, and Barney was fully engaged, too. He only stuttered a couple of times. Each time, Izzy behaved as though she didn’t notice, and just waited very naturally for him to finish what he was saying, like she had all the time in the world. Sam could have kissed her.
Actually, Sam could have kissed her. Now he thought about it, there wasn’t much he’d rather do. He shook his head slightly, watching her and the kids chat.
He clearly wasn’t going to kiss Izzy, not now or ever. He didn’t want serious romance, and he obviously wouldn’t have a casual fling with her. Barney might need help from her for years on and off. And he valued their friendship too much to ruin it. Plus, even if he did want a committed relationship, it was hard to imagine a long-distance romance working and he’d never move back to London. The kids’ lives and his were in New York.
He needed to get his mind off Izzy’s infectious laugh and the way her beautifully shaped lips looked over very nice teeth, and the way her eyes lit up when she was about to say something just the right side of over-bold, so that it was funny and sweet rather than too close to the bone for comfort. When she laughed she had a dimple just to the right of her mouth.
He needed to think instead about how much she’d helped Barney, and how he did not want to have to find a Therapist Fourteen.
Coffee went quickly. In the hour that they had, they talked about a wide variety of things, but also nothing. Sam would have loved to have spent another few hours with Izzy and, if he was honest, however much he adored the kids, he wouldn’t have minded spending that time alone with her.
‘You know what.’ Izzy checked her watch. ‘I’m going to have to dash. I have to meet Ruby and her father.’ She pushed her chair back and stood up. ‘It’s been so lovely to meet you both.’ She smiled at Liv and Barney. ‘And to see you again, Sam.’
‘Would you like to come with us to Hyde Park tomorrow afternoon?’ Liv blurted out. ‘I think Dad’s planning for us to hire a boat on the lake there.’ And then she went bright red, as she always did when she wasn’t sure of herself, and looked at Sam as though for confirmation that it was alright to have asked. Sam himself would have liked to have asked Izzy to spend more time with them but absolutely wouldn’t have done, so he had no problem with what Liv had said. In fact, he was delighted. And he wasn’t going to be reminding anyone that the original stated reason for them all getting together had been for Izzy and Barney to meet in person.
He’d love to have the opportunity to speak to Izzy alone, enjoy more conversation with her and get to know even more about her. Like, for example, whether she was singles climbing again with Emma last night and whether she’d met anyone she liked. Not that that was anything to do with him.
He smiled at Izzy. ‘We’d love to share our outing with you if you’re free. But completely understand if you aren’t.’
‘I’ll have Ruby with me.’
‘Not a problem,’ Sam said.
‘Then we’d love to. I’ve never taken Ruby on the Serpentine, if you can believe it. No-one ever spends quality time visiting places in their own city. It’s always the tourists who take proper advantage. I’m going to have to go now but email me the details?’ Her smile was slightly uncertain, as though she wasn’t sure whether or not he genuinely wanted her to join them.
‘Perfect. I’ll send you a message later.’ Sam pushed his own chair out and stood up to say goodbye. They had a very awkward moment where they combined a slight handshake with a vague air kiss across the table and then Izzy hurried away while Sam tried hard not to follow her with his eyes.
‘Izzy’s cool,’ Liv said. Sam nodded.
‘She’s great,’ he said. An understatement.
Sixteen
Izzy
Izzy was going to be late. Flip-flops were a nightmare for running in. She couldn’t believe that she wasn’t on time to meet Dominic and Ruby. She should not have given in to the temptation to grab those extra few minutes’ conversation with Sam. Dominic was a big fan of punctuality and would be feeling slightly irritable when she got there. At least Ruby wouldn’t notice that she was late. She’d have been having a lovely time with Dominic and she wasn’t exactly a time-telling genius.
She picked up her pace, dodging shoppers, tourists, Saturday workers on the
ir way home, and just made it into a carriage between the closing doors of her Tube train. Sitting down, she tripped over a pair of feet wearing stripy green and red socks and bright pink suede loafers. She smiled and apologised to the owner of the feet: a middle-aged man with a mullet and a cap. Izzy loved London. You could wear whatever you liked and no-one ever batted an eyelid. She loved a lot of other things about London too.
Would she ever want to leave? And was she asking herself that question because of Sam? Moving to another city or country for a relationship would probably be madness, just one more factor, along with all the other compromises that any relationship entailed, that would make things difficult in practice. No, Izzy certainly wouldn’t do it, because it would be bad for Ruby, especially now that Dominic would be back in London.
The train beeped and it was time to Mind the Gap.
Izzy’s heart lurched when she saw Dominic and Ruby standing together in the Earl’s Court station ticket hall. Her beautiful daughter standing holding her father’s hand.
Ruby’s curls were Izzy’s, but her lovely colouring, her height and her excellent physical co-ordination were all Dominic. What had Izzy been thinking? Sam was a moment in time and a fun companion, but Dominic was the father of Izzy’s child. Fantasy versus reality.
‘Hello, gorgeous girl.’ Izzy picked Ruby up and gave her a couple of big smackers on each baby-soft cheek. ‘Missed you this afternoon. Tell me what you’ve been doing.’
Izzy watched both Ruby and Dominic while Ruby babbled about their Natural History museum visit and Dominic gazed at her with obvious adoration. Yep. It was a good thing for Ruby that Dominic wanted to spend more time with her, and Izzy was just going to have to get used to it. And she’d probably be joining them on their outings sometimes anyway.
‘How was your client meeting?’ Dominic asked.
‘Good, thanks.’ Izzy bent over to put Ruby down, hiding her face so that Dominic wouldn’t see her ill-timed blush at the thought of Sam. ‘We should get going, Ruby.’
‘Bye then, Rubes. Love you. Only a few weeks until I move back. I’ll look forward to seeing more of you, Izzy, as well.’ Dominic gave Izzy what she could only have described as a meaningful smile as he spoke. Izzy gave him a non-meaningful smile. She didn’t want to introduce too much meaningfulness quite yet.
Izzy saw the email from Sam first thing in the morning, after she’d woken up a lot earlier than she would have liked because Ruby was hungry. At least there’d been no middle-of-the-night wet sheets. He’d sent it at the crack of dawn, probably jetlagged. She loved waking up to emails from him.
Good morning,
Great to see you in person yesterday. Hope we didn’t make you late for picking up Ruby.
Liv’s suggesting a picnic in Hyde Park followed by boating, and the kids (and I) would love for you and Ruby to join us for lunch too if you’re free?
S x
Izzy had just clicked on Reply to say yes, when a message came through from Emma.
So sunny!! Meeting Sarah and Geeta and kids for lunchtime picnic – you and Ruby want to come?? Xx
Okay. So. Dilemma. Sarah and Geeta were university friends of Emma’s who Izzy had known for years and really liked. They’d had a lot of excellent drunken nights out dancing together over the years, plus many sober days out. They were part of the fabric of Izzy’s ongoing life, some of the constants that had kept her going through rubbish times like when she’d lost her grandmother and when she and Dominic had split up. And she hadn’t seen them much recently. Sam and his kids, by contrast, were new in her life. They lived in New York, the kids were a different age from Ruby and they didn’t have any other friends in common. It wasn’t likely that she was going to see them at all on an ongoing basis.
So obviously they should meet up with Emma and the others for lunch and then meet Sam and the twins afterwards. And yet…
Morning gorgeous Emma. Love to have done but we’re already picnic-booked up this lunchtime! Looking forward to seeing you Weds for painting. Xx
Morning Sam.
Love to. Meet outside the Serpentine Gallery in the park and walk somewhere from there to find picnic spot?
Izzy x
Izzy was shampooing her hair in the shower post breakfast with Ruby when she finally admitted to herself that it was a little bit odd that she hadn’t told Emma who she was meeting at lunchtime. She always had her biggest moments of self-analysis or brainwaves in the shower. She’d been in the shower fifteen years ago when she’d decided to turn down the accountancy job she’d been offered and train as a speech therapist instead. And last year when she’d realised that she and Dominic were inevitably going to split up. And last week when she’d made her resolution to give up chocolate. Shower flash of clarity every time.
She normally told Emma everything. But she did not want to tell her about meeting Sam, Liv and Barney. Was that because it felt embarrassing or not-quite-right, or because it felt as though Emma would interpret it as one of those things? Or because, maybe, Izzy really fancied Sam and she didn’t want to admit that to anyone, even to herself, in the shower. Ow, ow, ow, shampoo in her eyes, shit that hurt. Yes, that was a sign. Stop thinking. Or at least only think about things actually relevant to her day, like what she was going to wear for her in-no-way-a-date with Sam and the children.
Izzy, dressed in a new pink-and-orange striped top, which had only taken about half an hour to choose from her wardrobe, and purple, high-waisted flares, could see Sam, Liv and Barney waiting outside the Serpentine Gallery as she and Ruby, dressed in her favourite dress, walked along the path towards them. Sam had on well-worn jeans and a slim-fit green-and-white checked shirt and looked very phwoar. He was beaming at her and Ruby as they approached, and Izzy could feel herself beaming right back at him. Even the warm and sunny (but not too hot) weather and cloudless sky were joining in to make this feel like the start of a perfect afternoon.
‘Hey.’ Sam’s voice was gorgeous. Listening to it was one advantage of speaking to him rather than emailing. ‘You must be Ruby. We’re very pleased to meet you. How’re you both doing? I hope you’re hungry. Liv and Barney found a bakery this morning that they liked and went a little OTT. You name a desirable picnic foodstuff, we almost certainly have it.’
‘We did go mad.’ It was lovely to hear Barney sounding so confident.
‘This looks like a good spot.’ Sam, apparently not a man who did picnics by halves, had brought significantly plusher rugs than the one that Izzy had taken to her picnic with Emma and Rohan last weekend and was laying them out while Izzy struggled, and definitely failed, not to ogle the way his muscles flexed across his back as he moved. ‘Kids, why don’t you get that frisbee out and go play while Izzy and I settle us down here.’
‘I’m loving your luxury approach to picnicking.’ Izzy snuggled herself onto the very deep pile blanket as the three kids ran off.
‘Wait until you see the food we got. I wasn’t kidding. It’s a feast.’ Sam started pulling out bakery box after bakery box. ‘We went very global, to cater for all tastes. See?’ He started opening the boxes. Izzy was awestruck.
‘There are only five of us. We’re going to have to find a homeless charity and hope that they can use what we don’t get through. Or take them home and live off them for a week.’
‘If you’re going to do something, do it properly. Teenagers eat a lot. So do I.’
’Fair enough.’ Izzy smiled at him. He returned the smile but didn’t speak. Izzy felt her heart begin to beat faster. Too much tension. ‘Beautiful weather,’ she said.
‘It is. You can’t beat a summer’s day in London. Even more so when right now our three kids are over there entertaining themselves pretty damn perfectly with that fifteen-dollar frisbee, while we sit here and prepare to gorge ourselves on food cooked by someone else. We should enjoy this.’ Sam pulled shades out of his shirt pocket, wedged them on his face, leaned back on his elbows and smiled, one of his long, slow smiles. Izzy had a full body shiver moment,
a common occurrence in Sam’s presence, apparently, as though the smile had penetrated every nerve in her body.
She took her own shades out. It was bright, and also, with sunglasses on, you could spend a lot more time studying someone without looking like you were staring so much that they needed to get a restraining order against you. Happily, she’d gone cheap, and chosen pitch-black lenses rather than graduated shade ones, so they completely disguised her eyes. She settled back onto her own elbows, alternating between watching the kids and looking at Sam’s face.
‘Seeing Liv walk and run now, you’d never think she’d had any problems,’ she said.
‘I know. Every single moment I look at her I’m grateful.’
‘It must have been unbelievably stressful.’
‘Yeah.’ Sam paused. ‘I lost it once. In hospital, during the night, sitting next to her bed, desperate, so desperate, for her leg not to be amputated, and absolutely wracked with guilt. The nurse who’d been assigned to Liv came in and caught me at a bad moment. She asked me how I was and next thing I was crying, and then she cried too because she’d seen a lot of tragedy that night. We just held each other for about five minutes. And then I thought “pull yourself together, man”, so I said, “Right, that’s enough, now give me your most foul sentence about what a pile of shit this all is.” And that tiny, demure Puerto Rican nurse came out with the worst swearing I’ve ever heard – put my own pedestrian cussing to shame. And in the middle of it, Liv woke up, and she started laughing, and then the nurse and I both laughed until we nearly started crying again. Rosita was her name.’ Sam looked as though he was fighting to keep his expression completely neutral. Probably a good job he had shades on. It was definitely a good job that Izzy did, because some tears had escaped while Sam was talking.
