The Distance

by Alexa Land

  I hurried to the kitchen, grabbed a bag of clams I found in the refrigerator and a small knife, and hurried back to the bathroom. I held a clam with a wash cloth and forced the knife between the shell halves with some effort. As I slowly and awkwardly worked on prying it open, Kai said, “You know that’s the rest of tonight’s dinner, right?”

  “I know, but I feel sorry for the crabs. They need these more than we do.”

  Kai watched me for a moment, then asked, “Do you have any more of those knives?”

  “They’re in the drawer beneath the microwave.”

  He left the bathroom, returned a few moments later with a second knife and a hand towel, and sat beside me again as we both concentrated on shucking the clams. Nana and Ollie appeared in the doorway a couple minutes later. “They’re probably hungry,” I told her when she asked what was going on. “Let’s not eat them, okay? They’ve already had a rotten day.”

  “We won’t eat ‘em, Sweet Pea,” Nana said, patting my shoulder. “We can always order pizza for dinner.”

  Ollie found a couple more knives and towels, then sat on the lid of the toilet while Nana perched daintily on a chair at the vanity, and they helped us shuck. I finally got one clam open and dropped it into the tub, and the crabs fought over it. “They’re totally starving. Poor things,” I said.

  We put the opened clams in the sink as we worked so we wouldn’t cause a feeding frenzy, and Ollie asked Kai as they both knit their brows and worked on prying the shells open, “How’d you boys meet?”

  “We belong to the same street racing club,” Kai said.

  Ollie glanced up with a sparkle in his dark eyes. He might look like the little old man from the movie Up, but he had the enthusiasm and energy of a kid. “I used to love motorsports back in the day. Motorcycles were my thing. For a while, I even was part of a motorcycle stunt show while I worked my way through college. What do you race?”

  “A ‘73 Mustang. It was my dad’s. He raced it when he was my age,” Kai said.

  Ollie and Kai chatted about racing for a while, and when he finally got his clam open, Ollie yelled, “Ha!”

  A moment later, I jabbed my palm. The towel protected me, but I still sharply drew in my breath. Kai dropped everything he was holding and grabbed my hand as he asked, “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. It didn’t break the skin.” He pushed the towel aside and ran his thumb over my palm, and seemed relieved when he saw I was uninjured. It was pretty obvious sometimes that he was a parent, and I thought his concern was incredibly sweet.

  “When are you going to start racing again, Jessie?” Nana asked. She was shucking clams like a pro, doing five for every one of mine.

  “I actually did already, over Valentine’s weekend,” I admitted.

  “Oh, that’s where you went during the party. I thought maybe you met someone and snuck off to, you know, plow the back forty. Or get your back forty plowed. Either way.” Nana smiled at me while I colored a little. It occurred to Kai and me at about the same time that we actually had slept together for the first time that night, and we glanced at each other, then quickly looked away. Nana noticed, of course, and said, “So there was some plowing after all!”

  A short, African-American dancer named Levi saved us from further embarrassment by running into the bathroom, depositing a crab in the tub and asking, “How many are still out there?”

  “Seven, I think, counting the one that rode out of here on Mr. Mario’s lap,” I said.

  “Damn, those things have gone into stealth mode,” Levi said.

  I asked, “Did anyone disarm the one with a knife?”

  “No, that tricky little bastard fell off the counter and made a break for it. We think it’s still armed. I better get back, the losing team is buying ice cream for everyone.” He smiled and ran from the room.

  I looked into the tub and pulled out the new addition, then spread a towel on my lap and put a shucked clam in front of the crab. When Kai glanced at me, I said, “None of them are very big, but this one’s even smaller than the rest. His shell’s not even the size of my palm. I don’t want him to end up on the cannibal crabs’ menu.” The little creature started picking at the clam and feeding himself with his claws. “I’m going to name him Virgil.”

  “Why?” Kai asked.

  “Because he looks like a Virgil.” I rubbed the crab’s shell with a fingertip.

  A moment later, Zachary and Elijah came in. Both of them were wielding long-handled tongs, and were holding one crab between them like it was made of uranium. They carefully deposited the crab in the tub, and I grinned and said, “Good job, guys.”

  Elijah looked happy. He tucked a strand of blond hair behind his ear as he asked, “Who’s winnin’?” Normally, Colt’s boyfriend was painfully shy and really reserved, so it was nice to see him enjoying himself.

  “It’s tied, one apiece. I only started counting after the official start of the competition to keep it fair. If you find the crab holding a knife, he counts double.” I turned to Zachary, who also looked like he was having fun, and asked, “Are you on Team Teen?”

  “I’ve been declared an honorary teenager for this contest, since the go-go dancers outnumber the kids,” he said. “Vincent and Trevor are honorary teens, too. Skye, Dare, and Haley have declared themselves neutral, claimed the kitchen table for Switzerland, and are sitting on it out of crab range, having cocktails.”

  Emma ran in with the ice bucket and a spatula and slid two crabs into the tub. She’d tied a sash around her forehead and was in full warrior woman mode. “The teens are winning,” I said.

  “Yes!” She did a fist-pump and headed for the door. “Come on, guys, let’s go search the front yard. The door was left open, and some of the convicts might have gone over the wall!” Zachary and Elijah hurried after her.

  “There we go,” Nana announced, standing and picking up her towel by the corners. It held at least two dozen shucked clams. “We’re all done here. Let’s feed those little fellas, call in a pizza order, and relocate to Switzerland while the crab wranglers do their thing.”

  We quickly distributed all the clams around the tub, and the crabs really went for them. As we took turns washing our hands, I asked, “What are we going to do with them?”

  “We’re gonna keep ‘em. Poor little things, being stuffed in a cooler like that! It’s a wonder they’re still alive. This tub’s no kind of habitat for them either though, so we gotta figure out something better.” She pulled her phone from her bra as she said, “I’m gonna call Dante, he’s real smart. He’s a good problem-solver too, so he’ll know what to do.”

  Nana punched some numbers, and when her oldest grandson answered, she yelled into the phone, “I know you and Charlie are planning to come for dinner, but you need to drop whatever you’re doing and get here as soon as possible Dante, because I got crabs! There are so many of them, it’s like a swarm! I figure you’ve got a lot of experience with stuff like this, so hurry up and get over here!” She disconnected without waiting for a response, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I would have given anything to see Dante’s face during that call.

  “Why do you think he has experience with crabs, Nana?” I asked.

  “Well, because he and his husband own that nice restaurant, and they serve a few seafood dishes. I’m thinking they might order crabs occasionally and know what to do to keep them alive.” Nana took Ollie’s hand and they headed out of the bathroom as she called, “Come join us for cocktails. Bring Virgil too, if you want.”

  I made a nest for the tiny crab out of a clean hand towel, and he seemed pretty content as he peeked out of the folds. Kai held him for me as I rummaged through a few Christmas decorations in one of the storage closets in the hall. Finally I announced, “Just what I was looking for,” and pulled a stuffed snowman from one of the shelves. I plucked off its little red and white mittens and gingerly slipped them over Virgil’s claws as I explained, “Now he can’t pinch us. Funnily enough, they’re a perfect fit.
Not too tight, I don’t want him to be uncomfortable.” On a whim, I took the snowman’s red and white knit hat with a red pompom on top and centered it on Virgil’s shell. A bit of double-stick tape on its underside held it in place. I held up the crab to admire his outfit and said, “It looks like we just found Waldo.”

  “That’s adorable. So are you.” Kai kissed me and said with a smile, “Thank you for inviting me over tonight. I don’t know when I’ve ever had this much fun.” I didn’t either.

  *****

  An impromptu block party in the front yard followed the cocktails, pizza, and lots of ice cream (courtesy of the dancers, who were gracious about losing the crab roundup to the kids). Colorful drag queens, a couple dozen go-go boys, neighbors from up and down the street, and several of Nana’s little senior girlfriends danced, laughed and mingled with some of her dark-suited family members, who looked like they hadn’t left their mafia roots far behind. All in all, Cockstock went out with style, and Humpington and his stodgy dinner guests seemed sufficiently horrified, so Nana counted it as a win.

  Kai and I lingered on the sidewalk in the early morning hours, long after the last guest had gone home. He brushed his lips to mine and ran his fingers into my hair. We kissed each other tenderly for a long time, and when we finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against mine and said softly, “You keep surprising me, over and over, in the best possible way.”

  We made idle small talk, trying to postpone the inevitable. But finally, he kissed me once more and told me, “I’m already looking forward to Friday,” before getting in his car.

  After he drove off, I remained rooted to the sidewalk and wrapped my arms around myself. I could still taste him on my lips, and instantly missed the warmth of his body against mine. His clean scent lingered on my jacket, and I closed my eyes and breathed him in.

  The entire day, and Kai, had been so wonderfully unexpected, and it felt like whatever was happening between us had the potential to grow into something beautiful and amazing. But I couldn’t do what I always did and try to turn it into an instant relationship. That never worked out, and I already knew he wanted to take it slow, for both his sake and his daughter’s. I had to keep some distance between us, because if I tried to rush it, I’d ruin everything. I turned my face to the heavens and whispered, “Please don’t let me screw this up.”

  Chapter Nine

  Zachary dropped into the booth across from me and muttered, “Kill me now.” It was Friday afternoon, and I’d come to visit my friend at work just as the lunch rush ended. “I’m so tired, and I wish I could take off my aching feet and throw them away. I think I need to take all the money I earned this week and buy a better pair of shoes. That’ll leave me with zero net gain, but at least I’ll have a chance of surviving my next shift.”

  “That’s probably a good idea. Do you have any more tables?”

  “Just you. For the love of God, don’t order anything.”

  I grinned at that and said, “If I do, I’ll go to the kitchen and put the order in myself. I’m friends with the two guys who own this place, they won’t care.”

  “You’re right, they won’t. Jamie and Dmitri are incredibly nice. It makes me feel guilty for hating this job so much. In their defense, it’s not Nolan’s I hate, it’s waiting tables in general.”

  Cole came up to us and put glasses of water in front of Zachary and me, and after we thanked him I said, “I didn’t know you were working here again.”

  “It’s just for the time being. My friend Miranda tends bar here and told me they’ve been short-handed at lunch, so I’m picking up a few shifts while I figure some things out.”

  I studied River’s boyfriend as he took off his wire-framed glasses and wiped them with the short, black apron he wore with his jeans and green Nolan’s t-shirt. He was half African-American and half Jewish, and that lineage had bestowed him with a lot of tightly spiraled caramel-colored curls, which he’d been growing out into a wild cascade. Cole was about my age, but he looked older, especially that day. There was weariness in his dark eyes, and they were underscored with shadows.

  Instead of immediately hitting him with a million questions about how he and River were doing, I pulled something from the pocket of my t-shirt and said, “I’m glad you’re here, it saves me a trip to your apartment. I was at Christopher Robin’s art gallery earlier today and bought a stack of tickets for his upcoming new artists show and masquerade ball.” I handed a colorful ticket to Zachary and gave another one to Cole. Its background was a landscape painting by Ignacio Mondelvano, one of the show’s featured artists.

  “Wow, thanks,” Cole said.

  “You’re welcome. I’m doing my part to make sure this event sells out, not only because it’s raising money for a great cause, but because Skye and Chance are both featured in the show, and I want a lot of their friends to be there to support them. Chance doesn’t know his photographs are going to be on display though, so keep it under your hat.”

  Cole slipped the ticket in his pocket and asked, “Do I have to dress up?”

  “Yes and no. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. A mask and whatever you’d normally wear for a party will totally get the job done. Of course, if you want to get really dressed up, there will be people who do that, too. Just go with whatever makes you comfortable.”

  Zachary thanked me, but like the true introvert he was, he seemed a little concerned about the dressing up part. I told him, “I’ve already worked out costumes for you and me, so all you have to do is show up and sparkle.” That only increased his concern.

  “I assume River will be there, since his brother Skye is part of the show,” Cole said.

  “I guess. The place holds close to a thousand people though, so it’s not like you’ll be forced to get up close and personal or anything.”

  Cole put his glasses back on and raised an eyebrow as he asked, “Did you give me this ticket because you’re hoping River and I will see each other across the crowded room, all our troubles will magically disappear, and we’ll reconcile on the spot?”

  Yes. Totally. “No, of course not,” I said. “I just want you and all our friends there. I’m going to feel really bad for everyone involved if that huge venue is half-empty.” I pulled ten more tickets from my shirt pocket, fanned them out, and showed them to Cole. “This is how I’m doing my part to help Christopher, Skye, Chance, Ignacio and the other artists, all at the same time.” If it also ended up benefitting Cole and River like I hoped it would, that would be a huge bonus.

  “You’re a good friend, Jessie,” Cole said.

  “Thanks. I try.”

  Cole changed the subject by asking, “Do you want me to put in an order for you? Zachary, you should eat too, you never took a lunch break.”

  “I was too behind to take a break,” Zachary said, “and you don’t have to wait on me.”

  “It’s no big deal,” Cole told him.

  “I’ll take two orders of Nana’s pasta with marinara,” I said. “I happen to know Zachary likes that.”

  “You got it.” Cole headed to the kitchen.

  “Do you know why one of Nana’s Italian dishes is sold at an Irish restaurant?” Zachary asked before downing most of his glass of water.

  “Her grandson Dante put it on the menu when he won the pub from its original owner in a poker game. Later on, Dmitri won it from him, and he gave it to his husband Jamie as a wedding present. That’s when the name changed to Nolan’s. I wonder if Dante and Dmitri still participate in those poker games. They sounded epic.”

  “No kidding. I love poker, but I can’t imagine playing for stakes this high,” Zachary said, waving his hand to indicate the attractive restaurant with its dark wood booths.

  “Me neither.”

  He changed the subject by asking, “Do you really have our costumes picked out for the masquerade ball?”

  “I do, but they’re a surprise. All I’ll say is, don’t change your hair color, because it’s perfect right now with what you’ll be
wearing.”

  Zachary looked worried. “Please don’t do anything too elaborate. I don’t want to stand out.”

  “I won’t, I promise.”

  “Shouldn’t you be planning a couples costume with Kai? I assume you’ll want to ask him to be your date.”

  “I’m saving a ticket for him, and I’ll ask him to come with us when it gets closer. Right now though, it’s too far off,” I said. “I don’t want him to think I’m making assumptions about us being together a month from now.”

  “Why not?”

  “I refuse to make the same mistakes with Kai that I’ve made with so many guys before him. I really like him, and I want to give us a fighting chance. That means taking it slow and not putting any pressure on him.”

  “Sounds reasonable. When are you seeing him again?”

  I said, “Tonight. Nana and Ollie are going to a charity gala, so I’ll have the house to myself and I’m cooking him dinner.”

  “Did you see him this week?”

  “God I wanted to. I thought about him all the time, but like I said, I can’t rush this.”

  One of the restaurant’s owners brought out our meal a few minutes later. Jamie said, “Hi Jessie! This is on the house. Thanks for getting Zachary to sit down and actually eat something. He worked so hard during the lunch rush that I was worried he was going to keel over.”

  “Thanks. I have something for you and Dmitri, too.” I handed him two tickets to the masquerade ball. “I hope you and your husband can find a sitter for your little girl and turn it into a date night. I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’re overdue for one.” He thanked me and seemed excited about it, and when he went to find his husband to tell him about the event, I said, “This is fun. I feel like I get to be a fairy godmother and send everyone to the ball.”

  As we ate, Zachary asked, “Did Christopher give you some input on Chance’s photos while you were at the gallery today?”