Rock Star Returns: Carlie's Story (Access All Areas, #2)

by Starr, Candy J

  "I'm going home to sleep and so should you."

  "Carlie, I know you're upset and I'm sorry about how things went in the past, I really am, but I think we should give it another shot."

  I pushed him away. It made me wonder if that talk about his family had just been a ploy to get my sympathy. He didn’t seem too concerned about that now, just about getting into my pants.

  "That's the most half-arsed apology I've ever heard and if you don't get away from me, I'll call the cops." I grabbed my phone out of my pocket to show I meant it. "How's that going to look in the papers? You aren't going to want that kind of publicity."

  He backed away. "You wouldn't really."

  If I didn’t push him away, and push him good, he’d never leave me alone.

  "Like hell I wouldn't. The day you walked out of my life was the greatest day of my life. I never wanted to see you again. I didn't ask you to come back. Who do you think you are, coming into my workplace, ingratiating yourself with the staff and my friends and declaring you'll win me back?"

  "I just want another chance."

  He worked me with his eyes but I wouldn't fall for it. I'd given Holden King enough chances for a thousand lifetimes.

  "You don't get another chance. That's how life works."

  “I’d give you a million chances. The bucket of chances I’d give you has no bottom.”

  "Screw you," I shouted and kicked him hard in the shins. Then I walked off. If he followed me, I'd kick him again. I hadn't intended on really calling the police but if he forced things, I would. “Screw you. You walked out. You didn’t give me chances then. Your bucket wasn’t full of chances, it was full of fucks you didn’t give.”

  "Come back, Carlie. I need you."

  I turned back to him. " I don't need you. Did you ever think of that?"

  I kept walking with a head full of anger. It filled every fiber of my being. What a load of shit he talked.

  It wasn’t that far from the bar to my place. About half-hour walk at most and I needed to burn off this anger or I’d never sleep. I often walked home. Even though the streets were dark, there was usually no one around at this time of night. I avoided the worst parts of town.

  The bit with the construction site near the bridge was the worst part. Even when it was quiet, I hurried past.

  I saw a guy up ahead, walking toward me, but figured he was some drunk on his way home and paid him no mind.

  He got closer, still shuffling along and, as he walked by, he bumped right into me, knocking hard against my shoulder that was still sore from my boxing session.

  “What was that about, dick brain?”

  He’d done it on purpose. He had no reason to even walk near me.

  “Hey, pretty lady.”

  “Don’t ‘pretty lady’ me.” I shoved him back.

  “Hey, what’s that for? It was an accident, love. I didn’t mean nothing by it. You’re a bit worked up, aren’t you? Well, I’ve got something that’ll fix that.”

  I tried to walk off but he grabbed my arm.

  “Let me go.”

  I swung. He was a big guy but I could take him. No drunken idiot would grab me and get away with it. With all my training, I knew what I was doing.

  He grabbed my arm as I swung. His grip on my wrists held me firm. I never really worried about my safety, but this guy was strong, much stronger than he looked. I tried kicking out at him but he just laughed and pushed me against the wall.

  I kicked out again but couldn’t connect. I struggled to free myself but he had my arms pinned. I couldn’t loosen his grip.

  “Leave me the fuck alone,” I screamed.

  My body shook. What the hell had I been thinking, trying to take on a guy like him? I was fucked. And, if he dragged me into that construction site, I’d be even more fucked. There wouldn’t even be the chance of a passing car spotting us.

  He pressed himself heavily against me, forcing his leg between mine. With him so close, I didn’t even have the momentum to kick at him. Even if he let go of my wrists, I was trapped.

  The sourness of his breath almost knocked me out. I tried to back away but there was nowhere to go.

  He toyed with the neckline of my dress, ready to rip it open.

  “She said to leave her alone.”

  Holden?

  The attacker swung around at the sound of his voice. His grip on my wrists loosened and I got free. The attacker might’ve been big but Holden was even bigger and, at the sight of him, he ran.

  I collapsed against the wall, my legs weak and trembling.

  “Are you okay?” Holden asked.

  He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. I wanted to push him again but my legs shook so much I wasn’t sure I could stand on my own. The warmth of him comforted me.

  “I’m fine,” I said but my voice shook.

  I wasn’t strong enough. No matter how hard I trained, I’d never be strong enough.

  I let him walk me home. Even then, I kept checking behind me. The feeling of that man’s hand on my wrists didn’t leave me.

  When we got to my place, we paused outside.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Holden said.

  “I’m fine. I just need to sleep.”

  He nodded.

  I opened the door to go inside and he stayed beside me. I needed the warmth of him. I needed someone with me.

  “You can come in if you want.” I turned my head to him, wanting him to kiss me. Wanting him to try once more. I needed him.

  He stroked my face.

  “Not like this, Carlie. You’re upset and scared. If I come in now, you know what’ll happen. And it’d be wrong because you don’t really want me. You just want to be comforted. I’ll wait outside until you’re asleep if that makes you feel safe but I’m not taking advantage of a situation like this.”

  I pulled away from him and slammed the door. Screw him.

  I didn’t want comfort. I wanted Holden King.

  Chapter 13

  "YOU SACKED DREW? YOU're a hard-hearted woman, that's for sure." Jackson didn't have to look quite so shocked. Already, I had regrets burrowing into my heart but I had to stand firm.

  "If you'd seen what he did, you'd have sacked him too."

  Jackson sat back on his stool and contemplated what I said. Then he shook his head. "I'd have never done that. Drew's young. He needs to learn and he's part of this place just like you and just like me."

  That was okay for Jackson to say. He didn't work here or have any responsibilities.

  "Well, it's too late now. He's gone. He'll probably come in Thursday to pick up his pay but that'll be it. That kid over there is on trial tonight. Brad. He seems to be working out well."

  I looked over at Brad to see him staring blankly at the wall.

  "Maybe you should sort your own shit out, then you wouldn't be so quick to fly off the handle."

  I could've mentioned how Jackson had walked out himself but I didn't want to get into all that. The tension in the bar was bad enough without bringing up things better left buried.

  "I hear Razer's doing well," I said. "They're killing them all along the coast. Violet says he might be getting a recording contract and there's a guy interested in managing them. He's some big shot." I wiped the bar as I talked.

  "That so? Good luck to him. He did a mighty powerful thing turning down his shot at the big time to keep his band together and it's going to pay off for him. Not many would do that."

  It sure had paid off. He had Violet and he had his career on track.

  To be honest, I hadn’t thought of Drew until I got to work and had the sudden realization that he wouldn't be there.

  Later, when Alex came in, I told him about Drew.

  "Are you sure you did the right thing?" Alex asked. "Maybe you were a bit hasty? You can always take him back."

  "You made me bar manager. This is on me. My decision, my responsibility."

  He nodded. "You're right. So long as the bar is covered, I'm happy
. I've got other things to think about this week. I need to find a new drummer. Sharing a drummer with Razer is not working out at all. The damn fool has taken off, leaving me in the lurch. So, I probably won't be in much. I hate to admit it but Razer is just getting more popular. "

  He sighed as though auditioning drummers was the worst thing possible. I'd never done it so maybe it was.

  The whole night dragged. Holden didn't come in but his butthole guitarist did. Shun played in Holden's band and he gave egotistical guitarists a bad name. He sat at the bar with Jackson, probably talking about something riveting like guitar strings or distortion pedals or some other guitarist shit. He had his hair tied in a man bun which made me hate him more and arrogance rolled off him in waves.

  He called me over. "Where's my drink?"

  I shot him a look that would shrivel a regular guy. "You want a drink, you order it with manners."

  He did a double-take then glared at me as though I'd jump up and get it.

  A bunch of dirty glasses sat on the nearby tables.

  "Have you seen Brad?" I asked Jackson. I hadn't seen him around for a while.

  "The new busboy? I saw him grab his jacket from behind the bar and run out the door. Just after you yelled at him, actually.”

  I wondered what it took to be a busboy. Hell, it was just clearing the tables. It wasn't like it was that challenging. I had a few other candidates I could call, one of them would be happy to have the job.

  "Looks like you'll have to wait a minute," I said to Shun.

  That jerk had the audacity to snort at me. I bussed the tables myself. It wasn't like I'd even really yelled at the guy, just told him to do his job instead of trying to chat up customers.

  I took my time wiping down the tables. Because that jerk could wait for his drink. He got my back up, the way he ordered me around.

  Then I heard him mention Holden's name and my ears pricked up.

  "No mate, the guy's the most boring motherfucker you'd ever meet on the road. Groupies, my arse. He has all the pussy he could possibly put his dick in. Every night, a string of chicks waiting for him. And what does he do? Goes back to his hotel room alone. Never even looks at them. He's not gay either. Well, I've never seen him with a guy." Shun laughed like a hyena. "Not to worry, just leaves more for me. If I'm their second choice, what does it matter? At least I'm getting some. Getting plenty actually."

  A flush shot through my body. Was I meant to hear that? Had Holden put him up to it? I didn't think so. Shun didn't seem like he'd be anyone's bitch and he wasn't even talking to me.

  What the hell did that mean, though? Holden had the sex drive of a maniac. He couldn't go a day without it, let alone months on the road. He had to be doing something.

  I went to the bar to get Shun's drink but when I gave it to him, they'd started talking about something else.

  He left shortly after that.

  "Not much action happening here. I might head to that place across town. Coming with me?" he asked Jackson. “At least they’ll serve me there.”

  I grinned at the idea of Jackson heading to some pick-up joint. He wasn't the type. He wasn't the type to even leave here.

  "You're screwed," Jackson said, his attention back on me now that Shun had left. "You aren't going to get someone like Drew. Even with his mistakes and stupidity, he worked hard and loved this place. You'll end up with some dumb kid who'll slack off every chance they get and probably steal from the till."

  "Thanks, Jackson. That's just the ray of sunshine I need right now."

  Chapter 14

  "YOU ARE NOT WORKING that night. You are going to be in the band room watching that gig."

  Alex stood before me, arms folded with determination. He'd come into the bar early and there was only him, Jackson and me in the place.

  He had this whole thing about making me watch Holden play. There was no way in hell I'd be doing that. I had too much of a sense of survival to put myself in that position. Holden doing the eye thing, I could resist. Holden telling me he wanted me, I could deal with. But Holden, on stage playing guitar and moving those hips, not a chance in hell.

  "That's balls, Alex. You can tell me not to work but you can't force me to watch that stupid gig. What the fuck is this? Was that how you got Holden to play here? Offering me as a gift-wrapped bonus? That's some fucked up shit."

  I hadn't meant that seriously but the look of guilt that stole over Alex's face confirmed it. He had actually done that. He’d pimped me out to Holden to get him to play here. I’d thought it strange that a big star like Holden would play at Trouble. The whole thing made me angry on levels. Angry with Alex and angry with Holden.

  "He wants you to watch him, is that so bad?"

  "Yeah, it's about the worst thing ever. You are so full of crap. Have you ever thought of supporting your own staff instead of being Holden's bitch? I supported you in the whole you vs Razer deal with Violet."

  "Did you?"

  Alex obviously wasn't going to fall for that. I mean, I did support him in the way that if Violet had wanted him, I'd have been behind it. You can't push people to date someone they don't want to. It was just a very passive kind of support.

  I shrugged and turned away. Alex was stepping over the boss line by a mile and there had no leverage at all.

  "I'll give you money."

  He smiled like he could charm me into it. And offering money? What was with that shit? You can't just pay someone to do things they don't want to do. It was evil and wrong.

  "How much?" Hey, I had to ask.

  He named a figure that made my eyes bulge. An offer I couldn't refuse. Even with the raise I got when I became bar manager, I still had a lot of expenses to pay, and extra money always came in handy. I could go on a holiday somewhere nice or buy some new clothes. Or just go buy something really crazy.

  I wanted to be the type of person who got all indignant about being offered money and stand on some moral high ground, except there was no money on that high ground. There was no luxurious cheesecakes or new gym shoes either. I have my price and, to be honest, it was a lot cheaper than Alex thought.

  "Do I have to actually listen? I mean, if I'm physically there, but wearing earplugs and not watching the stage, does that count?"

  Alex relaxed and sat down.

  "If you're in the room, that's enough for me. Just don't put the earplugs in before the gig in case he sees you. You have to watch the support band."

  "Who's doing support?" I asked. That'd been under wraps until now.

  Alex flashed me a huge smile.

  "No way. You absolute wanker," said Jackson. "You're so full of yourself, putting yourself on as support for the opening gig in your new club."

  "Jackson is not wrong," I added.

  We fist-bumped.

  Our mockery didn't deter Alex. In fact, I think he loved it. It gave him some weird kind of validation when we called him a wanker.

  "I was holding off until I knew if the new drummer would work out but I think we'll be up to speed. And I see nothing wrong with playing at my own club."

  He started to walk off as though there was nothing more for him to say on the subject. I realized we'd not actually nutted out the details of our deal, though.

  "Hey, I haven't said yes yet. You can't buy me with your dirty money. I'm not some whore for rock."

  "You'll do it." His grin was so cocky and self-assured.

  If he'd offered that much money though, there was room to negotiate. I couldn't just take his first offer. Wow, I'd be flush. It'd be nice to not have to struggle for a while. And getting paid more to not work than if I were, that had to be the best money.

  "I want the cash upfront and another grand on top as a bonus."

  Was that going too far? Hell, no. I had to have room for his counter offer. I folded my arms and put on my sweetest smile. Alex smiled back. A smile that cut like a serial killer's knife. All sharp and dangerous.

  "No way. I pay you upfront and you might take the money and run."
>
  "Where would I run to? I have nowhere but here." Did he even know me? Of course, I wouldn't run. I guess after the fact, there wouldn’t be much he could do if I didn't show up for the gig.

  "How about I hold the money until after the gig? That would be the best way." Jackson grinned.

  "NO!" Alex and I both reacted at the same time. It wasn't that we didn't trust Jackson, it was... well, yeah, it was that we didn't trust Jackson. Not with our money, anyway. Jackson had a very casual relationship with money.

  We glared at each other for a while, daring the other to look away, to back down. Alex was fucked. I could do this all day.

  "Half up front, half after the gig and another 500 bonus, although I have no idea what the bonus is for."

  I spat on my hand and held it out for him to shake. I was happy with that deal. I could watch Holden play. It wouldn't kill me, and if I didn't even have to listen, it'd be all the better. I’d be physically present but miles away.

  "I can't believe you just did that. That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen." Alex winced.

  "Yeah, whatever, just give me my upfront part of the money. I need to buy me some state-of-the-art earplugs.”

  Chapter 15

  VIOLET ARRIVED BACK a few days before the opening gig.

  "Good to see you back," Alex said. "And no Razer."

  Razer had been offered a whole tour along the coast and hadn't come back with her. It was nothing like Alex implied though, with his words bursting with suggestion and his eyebrows doing weird things.

  You could see that it got to her by the way she rubbed her neck.

  She'd tanned while she'd been gone and her hair had become sun-bleached. Even with Alex bugging her, she looked so much more relaxed than when she'd left. No dark bags under her eyes, no mouth stretched tight with tension.

  "He'll be back. It was too big an opportunity for him to pass up and it’s not like I need to be with him every moment of the day. Now, what needs doing to prepare for Saturday night?"

  Knowing Violet, it'd be nothing. She'd been working even on her vacation, setting everything up for the weeks ahead and doing a lot of phoning around for Alex. He'd been having major hissy fits about Saturday night. Everything had to be perfect. The workmen had completely finished the band room. It didn't appear all that much different but, having heard Alex mucking about up there, the sound was a million times better. He'd also moved things around to improve the acoustics and made the bar longer so we get didn't people banked up. Now, he had people up there painting. The smell was pretty damn gross.