Falling for the Cowboy Dad

by Patricia Johns

“I thought as much. Looking forward to getting back?”

  “Yeah.” She didn’t sound convincing, even in her own ears.

  “You’ve got the job waiting, right?” he prompted.

  “I do,” she said. “And I’m looking forward to it—especially the permanent position. Dad, I’ve been working toward this for so long, and it feels...” She stopped.

  “Don’t let him ruin this for you, Gracie,” her father said quietly.

  “He’s not,” she said.

  “You sure?” her father pressed. “You’ve got a good life, sweetheart. You’ve worked for it, and I’m so proud of you. But you’ve got to enjoy it, too.”

  “It’s hard seeing him again,” she admitted.

  “I always said he’d drag you down if you settled for him,” her father said quietly. “He’s nice. I’ll give you that. And he’s well-meaning. But he’s not aimed at the same target you are.”

  She sighed. “He wants to pick up our friendship again.”

  Billy possibly wanted more than that...but it was hard to tell.

  “And what do you want?” her father asked.

  “I want...” She paused, considering. “I want to keep my balance. I want to enjoy everything I’ve worked for.”

  “Good goals,” her father said, taking a sip.

  “And I want to get married and have kids,” she said after a beat of silence. “Is that desperate, Dad?”

  “Nah.” Her father sucked in a deep breath. “You have to be ready for something to jump at the opportunity when it presents itself. Being ready for that kind of thing normally means feeling a little bit lonely. It’s normal.”

  Except Grace had dated a couple of very marriageable men in Denver. Kind, respectable, honest, devoted. And she hadn’t been able to commit.

  “Is Billy wanting more from you, then?” her father asked, and she heard the hesitation in his tone.

  “I don’t think so,” she replied honestly. “He had the better part of a decade to try for that, and he never did. I’m just...here.”

  “You don’t have to rescue everyone, Gracie,” her father said quietly.

  “I know,” she replied.

  The problem was, the only man she wanted to rescue was Billy. The others she managed to waltz past without too much trouble.

  “Dad, I think I’ll take this hot chocolate upstairs with me,” she said, rising to her feet.

  “All right,” her father said. “Good night, sweetheart. Love you.”

  “Love you, too, Dad.”

  She picked up her mug and headed toward the stairs. She glanced back once and found her father staring moodily at the tabletop.

  Her father wanted more for her than a relationship with Billy Austin, but this wasn’t about her father, either. She wanted to move on with her life and get to that sweet spot she’d been working toward. She’d have a full-time position with the Denver school board, a career she cared about, and maybe she’d finally meet that great guy who could eclipse Billy in her heart. Was that possible? A man capable of being her best friend and curling her toes with a kiss?

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  THE NEXT AFTERNOON, Billy made sure he was done his shift early enough to pick Poppy up on time. Being a dad had a whole new set of pressures. Not only did he have to make enough to support his daughter, but he had to physically be there for her, be on time. He was normally a pretty punctual guy, but this wasn’t about impressing a boss. This was about his daughter waiting for him in a classroom, looking out a window, wondering if her mother might walk by.

  And Grace... He’d grown to regret that kiss when he’d finally gone to bed. He’d wanted it, and she’d kissed him back, but that didn’t change the facts. She wasn’t some woman to pass the time with; she was the best friend he’d ever had. And he’d just crossed the line.

  He was an idiot.

  Billy cruised down the highway, the sunlight sparkling off the snow that weighted down tree branches along the side of the road. The day felt more cheerful than he did. He was tired—he hadn’t slept well. He’d been too busy beating himself up.

  An image of Grace’s lips, the way her eyes had sparkled just before her lids had fluttered shut...

  He pulled his mind away from those thoughts. What had he been doing last night? He felt a wave of guilt. He’d had a lot to hold against his own mom, and he wasn’t off to a great start with Poppy. He had four years of absence to make up for still.

  The heat was pumping into the cab of his truck, and he turned it down, then cracked a window, breathing in a welcome breath of frigid air from outside.

  He’d kissed Grace, and it was tangling up his emotions. Now he was looking forward to seeing her again, and it would be awkward. Instead of enjoying her as the friend she’d always been, he was going to be facing the woman he’s crossed the line with. He remembered a talk in a youth group one year when he was a teenager trying to date a church girl, and they’d said that it was best to behave before marriage so there were no regrets. The girl had taken that seriously, which was probably for the best. Billy hadn’t been the kind of kid she could count on as future-husband material. And now, he could see the wisdom in that preachy lecture, as irritating as it had been at the time. This had only been a kiss, but it still changed things. It still left him with regrets.

  He owed Grace an explanation...and an apology, at the very least.

  Billy’s phone rang, and he eased his foot off the gas, slowing down a little as he punched the speaker button to pick up the call.

  “Yeah,” he said.

  “Billy?”

  He knew the voice, and he cleared his throat.

  “Tracy,” he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt right now. “What’s up?”

  “I just wanted to say hi,” Tracy said.

  He fought down a wave of anger. What could she possibly want from him now? He’d left her with everything. He wasn’t the kind of guy to quibble over furniture. She’d humiliated him in front of his daughter, and now she wanted to talk? “Don’t do this to me, Tracy,” he said with a sigh. “You dumped me. We’re over. No calling to say hi.”

  “Sorry.” She sounded regretful. “I wasn’t feeling well today, so I stayed home from work, and I...missed you. The apartment isn’t the same without you, and...”

  “Ah.” Billy sighed. “There’s bound to be a bit of that, I guess.”

  He missed what he’d thought he’d had with Tracy—in the beginning. He’d thought they’d been in love.

  “Do you miss me?” she asked, and he could hear the hope in her voice that had always been so hard to resist. Except right now he was still remembering how Grace had felt in his arms, and how desperately he wanted to pull her into his embrace again.

  But his breakup with Tracy wasn’t that long ago, and he’d be lying if he said he’d simply banished the last three years from his mind. He wasn’t a monster.

  “A bit,” he admitted.

  “We were good together, Billy—”

  “Don’t remember us better than we were,” he countered. “We were fighting a lot toward the end.”

  “We were...” He could hear her suck in a deep breath.

  “Breakups make you forget that stuff,” he added. “I drove you nuts.”

  “But maybe with some good talks, we could get to the bottom of that. Long-term relationships take a lot of work, and I’m willing to put it in. We could go to a relationship counsellor, or—”

  “No.” He clenched the steering wheel tighter. “Some things end for good reason. I’m not coming back to talk it to death in some therapist’s office. We weren’t even married.”

  “Maybe just some time alone, then. A vacation. I’d pay for it—I got a bonus. We always talked about lounging on a beach, didn’t we?”

  “I’m a dad, Tracy,” he said. “That doesn’t go away.” />
  And he wasn’t about to have his way paid by his heartbroken ex, either.

  “True, but if we had some time for just the two of us... Maybe your mom could watch her for a week—”

  “Tracy!” His voice was angrier than he’d meant it to be. “I’m not leaving my daughter behind while I go on some vacation. Sorry. She’s been through enough and she needs me.”

  “Maybe I need you, too,” Tracy said quietly.

  Billy sighed, willing his grip on that steering wheel to relax.

  “How is Poppy?” she asked after a moment of silence.

  “She’s dealing with a lot. I’m not sure you even have a right to ask about her.”

  “I know,” Tracy said. “I should never have said what I did in front of her.”

  What the hell, Billy? I put up with a lot from you, and now you dump a kid on me? I’m supposed to be the stepmother now? I didn’t sign on for this! Yeah, Billy remembered that clear as day.

  “True. That was petty on your part. And cruel. Her mother had just abandoned her with a dad she’d never met, and you treated her like the worst punishment a woman could imagine.”

  “I get now how awful it was,” Tracy said, her voice quivering. “I do. And I’m sorry. I know that’s not worth much. I wasn’t thinking. Sometimes people mess up.”

  “Yeah.” He couldn’t curb the bitterness in his tone.

  “I want to make up for it,” Tracy added.

  “I don’t see how.”

  “I could...talk to her,” Tracy offered. “I could tell her that I’m sorry. That I was wrong to say those things, and that I didn’t mean them. I mean, I’d say it in child-friendly terms, but I could explain that my reaction was about me, and not about her. It might help...”

  Would it? He wasn’t sure if his anger about this was on behalf of his daughter or himself. He and Tracy were most definitely over, but if there was a way to take her words back, to take away their power so Poppy didn’t carry them with her...

  He passed the town’s limits and took the first left onto Callaway Drive, which circled toward the elementary school.

  “Look, that isn’t me trying to get you back,” Tracy added. “If we’re over, then we’re over. I’ll miss you—” her voice shook “—and I’ll never forgive myself for breaking up with you...but this is about a little girl I don’t want to hurt. If talking to her might help make things better for her, I’ll be glad to do it.”

  “I...um...I really do appreciate it,” he said, his voice growing thick.

  “Think about it,” Tracy said.

  “Yeah, I will. I’ve got to go. I’m almost at my daughter’s school.”

  “Okay. Call me. Anytime. I mean it.”

  “Sure. See you.”

  Billy wouldn’t call her “anytime.” Tracy had said some things she never should have said when she was angry, but they also revealed a whole lot that she’d been hiding. She saw Billy as a charity case, a guy she put up with who owed her a whole lot to make up for all those inconveniences that came with him. First his illiteracy, and then his daughter. If Tracy thought she could do better, then she was welcome to. His daughter was not an inconvenience to be tolerated. She was the best thing Billy had ever done.

  But if Tracy were willing to talk to Poppy about some of that stuff...without any expectations...should he turn her down?

  He knew who he wanted to talk to about this—Grace. She’d always been the one who understood him better than anyone. She had a depth to her that he’d counted on for a very long time. She’d know what to do—and she was the one woman he knew would give him an answer based on what was best, not what she wanted from him. That kind of integrity was priceless.

  That was part of the friendship he didn’t want to throw away with something as stupid as a kiss.

  * * *

  “HEY,” BILLY SAID as he came into the classroom.

  The other children had all gone, and Grace put a sheet of paper down on Poppy’s table. It was some simple graphing, and she had a feeling Poppy was going to love x and y coordinates. Grace looked down at Poppy, because it was easier than looking up at Billy.

  “Daddy, I’m going to do calculus now!” Poppy announced.

  “Not quite calculus,” Grace said, laughing softly. “But graphs. And that’s a step toward calculus.”

  “It’s almost calculus,” Poppy said.

  Billy came into the room and his presence seemed to fill it up. He smelled like musk and the outdoors. He had his cowboy hat under one arm, and as he eyed her, her cheeks warmed. She looked away, trying to compose herself.

  “So, it’s awkward now?” Billy asked, his voice low. He crossed the room to look down at Poppy’s page.

  “Sort of,” Grace said. “Let me get Poppy started.”

  For the next few minutes, Grace explained graphing to the little girl and showed her how it all worked. Grace tried to ignore Billy’s gaze as she finished her explanation.

  “There,” Grace said, joining him where he sat. She didn’t know what to say, exactly. Last night he’d kissed her and she’d kissed him back. And she’d replayed that kiss over and over in her mind all night and for her entire workday. And now she was going to teach him to read—and not talk about it?

  How did the day after a heart-stoppingly emotional kiss go, anyway? Especially when it couldn’t possibly go any further?

  “So, we’re not okay, then?” Billy asked quietly.

  “I’m embarrassed,” she admitted.

  “Don’t be,” he replied, his voice a low rumble. “Things happen.”

  “Things happen,” she repeated, unconvinced. “That’s it?”

  Grace had never been kissed like that before. Maybe Billy went around kissing women like that on a regular basis, but she’d never experienced that kind of longing. What did that say about her last relationships?

  “Sometimes that’s all we have, isn’t it?” he said, and she saw a flash of sadness that broke through his confidence.

  “Sometimes,” she admitted.

  “I’m sorry, all the same,” he said quietly. “I...I wasn’t sorry yesterday. I am now. It was all me. I was...attracted to you. I wasn’t thinking about what it would do to us, to our friendship. I just followed my instincts.”

  “Yes,” she said simply.

  “And I’m sorry,” he repeated.

  Grace sucked in a wavering breath. “Me, too. I can’t let you blame yourself. I could have stopped you. I’m not exactly an innocent.”

  Although with that kiss, she’d almost felt like one.

  Billy smiled ruefully. “I know.”

  “So...” Would this fix it—erase that one mesmerizing kiss so they could move on? “Friends, then.”

  “Yeah.” He exhaled a breath and his shoulders relaxed.

  Grace met his gaze hesitantly, and he shot her one of his familiar grins and slid a hand over hers. “I don’t want to mess up what’s left of our friendship.”

  “No, me neither.” For while she was in Eagle’s Rest, at least. But it would be easier once they had a couple hours of highway between them again and she could get her balance back.

  “So, we’re okay, then?” Billy asked.

  “Yes. Of course.” She forced a smile and pulled her hand back.

  “Good, because I need your advice, Gracie.”

  “Okay.” She glanced over to Poppy, whose tongue was sticking out the side of her mouth as she worked on her page.

  “I got a call from Tracy.”

  Grace froze, and all of a sudden, she slid back into the past, when she was the pal and he’d come to her for advice with whatever girl he happened to be dating...

  “Okay,” she said slowly.

  “She feels bad about how things ended,” he said with a weak shrug. “But that’s not the problem. She wants to talk to Poppy.”


  “About what, exactly?” Grace asked.

  “She said some things when we broke up—in front of Poppy. She’s concerned that Poppy might carry those words with her, and she wants... I don’t know...to try and fix it.”

  “What did she say?” Grace asked.

  “How awful it was to discover that there was a child in the mix. That sort of thing.”

  “Yeah, that would stick with a kid,” Grace said bitterly. She looked across the room to where Poppy was hunched over her page. “And?”

  “And...what do I do?” Billy asked, focusing that dark gaze on her. As easy as that, they were focused on his life again, his problems, his ex.

  “As in, do you allow Tracy to try and fix things,” Grace concluded.

  “Yeah. Exactly. I mean, Tracy isn’t the devil. She can be very selfish, but I wasn’t the ideal partner either. I mean, I tried, but... Anyway, our relationship wasn’t at the point where it could support a child...”

  She listened as Billy rambled on. She knew the drill. They’d been here before, countless times. Women came back into his life if he let them. He was tall, muscular, sweet... And they always came back for another try—to see if they could mold him into their ideal man.

  Grace had wanted to cut free of Billy because of moments like this—where she had to sit here and listen to his complicated feelings for another woman, and try to give him some unbiased advice that wouldn’t reveal what she really felt.

  She’d ended their friendship because it hurt too much, and here she was, right back in the same position, and after that kiss. After knowing what it felt like to be held in those strong arms, to have those lips on hers... After that kiss, they were back to where they used to be, where Billy got exactly what he needed, and she pretended it didn’t hurt.

  Her chest felt tight. She couldn’t stay here—do this again.

  She stood up, faster than she’d intended, and as she did, Billy stopped talking.

  “Grace?”

  “No. I’m not doing this.” Her voice shook ever so slightly, but she couldn’t help herself.

  Billy didn’t answer, staring up at her in surprise.

  “Last night you were kissing me,” she said, keeping her voice low. “And today we’re back to you unloading your relationship problems onto me. And I’m not doing this!”