Falling for the Cowboy Dad

by Patricia Johns

  “I’m not trying—”

  “Billy, I’m done here.”

  Grace could feel the tears of frustration rising inside of her. He’d likely get back together with Tracy, and probably break up again, too, but it was all the same routine, wasn’t it? Grace, standing by as she hid her true feelings, as whatever undeserving woman flitted in and out of Billy’s heart.

  “I’m done,” Grace repeated. “I need a break. If you’d like to bring those worksheets home with you, Poppy can probably figure them out from the instructions.”

  Grace went over to her desk and pulled out her purse. Then she grabbed her coat from the back of her chair and tried to put it on, but one arm caught in the sleeve and she struggled a moment to get her jacket on properly. So much for a graceful exit. Billy stood there, watching her in silence, his expression betrayed and confused.

  She cared that she was hurting him—but she shouldn’t. She was tired of being the one to hide her pain, pretending that this relationship didn’t hurt. Not this time.

  “Grace, did I offend you?” Billy asked, his voice echoing through the classroom, and this time Poppy looked up, too.

  “I’m tired,” she said decisively. “I need a rest. Poppy, you can finish those sheets at home, okay? Or here, if you two want to use the classroom for a few more minutes, but I have to go.”

  “You have to go?” Poppy echoed uncertainly.

  Another scene in front of the poor girl.

  “Yes, I’m not feeling very well, sweetie,” Grace said, softening her tone. “So I’m going to go home and get some rest. I’m sorry.”

  “That’s okay,” Poppy said. “You should use a cold cloth on your head.”

  “Okay.” Grace smiled, swallowing back the emotion that swelled inside her. “That’s good advice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Poppy.”

  Her hands were trembling, and Grace balled her fingers up into fists to control it. The tears were close to the surface as she strode out of the classroom and down the hallway, her heels clicking loudly on the terrazzo flooring. She didn’t turn around to see if either Billy or Poppy were watching her go.

  If she’d ever questioned cutting Billy off, she’d just been reminded of why it was so necessary. He had nothing but romantic options, and she wasn’t willing to be his rock-steady pal.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THAT EVENING BILLY did the dishes after supper. He was frustrated because he knew it was his fault that he’d ticked off Grace. He’d been the one to kiss her last night, even if she hadn’t exactly dissuaded him. He was the one to cross that line when he knew he couldn’t offer more than before, either. This was on him. And now Poppy was the one to pay for it. Each time Poppy asked him why Miss Beverly was mad at him, he didn’t know what to say. Even Poppy hadn’t been fooled by her claim of illness.

  Billy sighed. From the bathtub, he could hear Poppy chattering to herself as she played with some bath toys and she squeaked across the tub bottom.

  Poppy would have had a full lesson if Billy had avoided any kind of romantic entanglements. Because he couldn’t lie to himself anymore and claim this wasn’t romantic. It might be doomed, but whatever he was feeling for Grace had passed friendship a long time ago. He was just too stubborn to admit it. This was precisely why he should have kept to his earlier vow. Romance complicated everything, and he wouldn’t complicate his daughter’s childhood.

  What he needed was to talk to her—without a kid in tow. This was for Poppy’s sake, as well as his own. He knew better than to let a woman stew. Grace was mad, and he needed to fix this now.

  When he’d washed the last dish, he let out the water and dried his hands on a towel. Then he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed his mom’s number. It rang twice before a man’s voice picked up.

  “Hello?”

  “Uh...hi,” Billy said. “I’m looking for Heather. Do I have the right number?”

  “Yep, sure do,” came the reply. “Hold on.” Then in a muffled tone, he heard the man say, “For you.” His mother came on the line then.

  “Hello?” she said.

  “Hi, it’s Billy.”

  “Billy!” He could hear the smile in her voice. Then to the side, “It’s my son.” Then back to him again, “Hi, sweetie. How are you?”

  “I’m...um...who’s that?”

  “Gerald. I told you about him. We’re just watching some TV together, but don’t worry. I can talk.”

  He winced. He wasn’t sure he should even ask. Obviously she had a date. “I was actually hoping you might be up to...babysitting.”

  “I’d be happy to,” she said, her voice softening. “Really happy to.”

  “Tonight,” he added. “Without Gerald.”

  “Gerald is a good man, son. You’re going to have to accept that eventually.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I will. It’s on the list. Just not right now. I need someone to watch Poppy for an hour or two tonight, and I was hoping you might be open to that.”

  There was a pause. “Fine. Okay. I’m sure he’ll understand.” A pause. “Yep, he says he understands. See? Easy peasy. He’s sweet that way.”

  Gerald was actually sounding like a half-decent guy, after all, but Billy didn’t have time to get into that right now. “Good. Thanks. She’s got a bedtime, by the way. Seven thirty.”

  “Yes...yes!” His mother’s voice sounded flustered. “I can come now, if that helps. I’ll read her some stories and tuck her in properly. That’s a promise.”

  “And no tales from the bar,” he added.

  “No bar tales. Got it.”

  “Great. Thanks.” He cleared his throat. “I appreciate it, Mom.”

  “No, I appreciate it, son. I’ll see you soon.”

  Billy hung up and stood in the stillness for a moment, listening to the splashes and rambling one-sided conversation from the bathroom. He’d have to get the balance here, somehow—work, school pickups, other obligations... The hardest part was going to be getting used to doing all this alone. He’d have to figure it out—especially the loneliness part. His mom had been right. He loved his child with all his heart, but he still longed for some romance. He’d just have to do better than his mom had.

  Heather arrived thirty minutes later, and Poppy was rather pleased to have her grandmother to herself for the evening.

  “We’ll play toys!” Poppy declared.

  “I promised your dad that I’d get you to bed,” his mother said, then turned to Billy. “Out, out! We’re fine. Don’t worry about a thing.”

  * * *

  BILLY KNEW THE way to Grace’s parents’ place. He used to go with her to Sunday dinner there from time to time, and he’d squirm somewhat uncomfortably as her father stared him down. He’d been a threat back then—but not anymore, he was sure. Grace knew the worst now, and she’d already made her feelings clear.

  When he got to the door, Grace opened it before he could knock.

  “Hey,” he said, somewhat surprised. “You saw me drive up, I guess.”

  “Yeah.” She crossed her arms under her breasts and eyed him warily. “What do you want, Billy?”

  “To talk to you,” he said.

  There was a beat of silence, and he looked over her shoulder, into the empty kitchen. At least there wasn’t an audience.

  “Grace, I don’t know how I ticked you off today, but I managed to...and I wanted to talk about it.”

  “What if I don’t want to?” she countered, raising her gaze to meet his. Anger glittered there.

  “I don’t know,” he admitted, suddenly uncertain. “I was just hoping... Look, it’s cold out here. Let me in, or come out to my truck. Whatever I did, I’m sure you can fill me in.”

  She reached around to grab a coat, then stepped into her boots.

  “Fine,” she said. “In the truck.”

  Billy didn’t see a
nyone else in the warmly lit kitchen, but he was grateful for her choice. He didn’t feel like facing her parents. They walked together toward his truck, and he glanced over at her, trying to gauge her anger.

  “So...what did I do?” he asked as he pulled open the passenger-side door, but Grace didn’t move toward it.

  “We can skip this,” she said.

  “No, we can’t,” he replied. “I want to know what I did, not pretend it never happened and watch you sail off to Denver in a few days.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to talk about it!” Tears glistened in her eyes.

  “Gracie...” He softened his voice. “What did I do?”

  “You...” She shook her head. “Nothing. You didn’t do anything.”

  “Okay...that isn’t ringing true.” He slammed the truck door shut, since she wasn’t getting in. “So why did you take off like that?”

  “It was more of the same,” she said with a shrug. She pulled her coat closer around her. “Your old buddy Grace, listening to you go on about some other woman.”

  “You don’t want anything more with me, though,” he said, frowning.

  “No, I don’t.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “I don’t want more with you—I want more, period!” she shot back. “I’m not going back to that...to the miserable attempts to make a man see me.”

  “Grace, I think I’ve proven that I definitely see you,” he said. “What do you think is happening with me and Tracy, anyway?”

  “Getting back together, obviously,” she replied. “Some back-and-forth, a few reproaches and then the inevitable. And you’ll thank me for my advice, as you always did, and then move on with Tracy Ellison.”

  “No,” he said simply.

  “No, what?” she demanded.

  “You’re wrong. I’m not getting back together with Tracy,” he said. “I know what kind of woman she is, and that’s no mother for my daughter. I wasn’t asking for your advice on my relationship with Tracy! Good Lord, Grace! I don’t need relationship advice. That one is incredibly clear—she and I are over. I was asking you for parenting advice.”

  Grace was silent, but the icy reserve started to crack. She licked her lips and dropped her gaze. He didn’t say anything else, just stood there watching her. She raised her eyes again and he saw tears in them.

  “Oh...” she said at long last.

  “If you want to be friends—” he started.

  “I don’t,” she whispered, and the words cut through his heart.

  “Then what do you want to be?” he demanded.

  “Nothing at all.”

  “And you think that’s possible?” he demanded. “You think we can just be nothing to each other?”

  She didn’t answer him, and her silence was infuriating. She was mad at him. Well, maybe he was mad at her, too! After nearly a decade of close friendship, she wanted to be “nothing at all”!

  “After all you’ve been to me,” he said, his voice catching. “After all I’ve been to you—and don’t you dare say I was nothing!”

  “You weren’t nothing, you idiot.” Her voice shook. “You were everything!”

  Her words echoed through his heart, and he felt his own eyes mist.

  “Grace...” He stepped closer, and there was only a whisper of winter air between them. She looked up at him, tears sparkling in her eyes, but this time she didn’t back up. She met his gaze, and those pink lips parted ever so slightly. He dipped his head down and caught her lips with his. It was a short kiss, and when he pulled back, he looked down into her glittering blue gaze.

  “You were everything to me, too,” he murmured.

  “No, I wasn’t.”

  He let his hands drop. “I’m realizing it now,” he countered.

  “Then you’re only wishing I’d been everything, because back then I was all buddy. And there is a whole lot more space to fill than that.”

  A cold breeze picked up, ruffling her hair and making them both hunch their shoulders against the cold. He had a few better ideas of how to fight off the chill—none of them appropriate for the moment. She pushed her hair out of her face, and a blush crept into her cheeks.

  “I’m sorry I was so blind back then,” he said.

  “It is what it is.” She heaved a sigh, looking away. “And that has to be the last time we do that.”

  Billy looked at her for a long moment. He didn’t want to swear off holding her in his arms or kissing her like that. Whatever this was, nothing had ever felt quite so right before.

  Not a relationship—that wouldn’t work. But maybe something in between?

  He was an idiot. That couldn’t work, either.

  “Okay,” he admitted quietly. “Now get in the truck, would you? It’s cold and we’ll cause a scandal for your neighbors.”

  * * *

  GRACE STOOD BACK while Billy opened the truck door, and she hopped up into the warm interior. He came around the driver’s side and got in, too, turning the key in the ignition to get the heat pumping into the cab once more.

  Kissing him had been furthest from her intentions...but they seemed to keep falling into it. She shivered in spite of the warmth.

  “I’m not sorry for that kiss,” he said. “And I won’t apologize for it later, either.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry,” she said, looking over at him at last. He was watching her, his dark eyes swimming with unnamable emotions. “I’m just as much to blame. But we still have to stop it.”

  “Yeah...” He sighed. “Easier said than done, I think.”

  “Even so.” She met his gaze pleadingly. “Billy, whatever this is can’t last. It would be a passionate fling, and then...” She stopped.

  “Heartbreak,” he said softly.

  She leaned her head back against the headrest. “I can’t endure any more heartbreak...”

  “I don’t want to be the one who hurts you,” he murmured.

  What was wrong with him—always saying just the right thing?

  “Billy, we’ve got to be more careful,” she said. “No more evenings out together, or you coming over, or...”

  “Give me a reading lesson tomorrow,” he requested, and she looked over at him quizzically. “You’re still my teacher. For a few days, at least.”

  “Billy—”

  “At the library,” he conceded. “Poppy would love more chances to learn, too. It’s just... I’m not ready to say goodbye.”

  Grace sighed, considering. She wasn’t, either.

  “Okay,” she said softly. “At the library.”

  Billy’s gaze locked on hers once more, and she read that intensity in his gaze. She put her hand on the door handle.

  “You want to stay a few minutes?” he asked.

  “No.”

  She didn’t dare meet his gaze again, because she did want to stay. She just didn’t dare. She pushed open the door and hopped out. Only then did she lift her gaze to meet his once more.

  “Two o’clock,” she said. “At the tables in the front.”

  “Fair enough.” His warm gaze moved over her face once more. “See you then, Gracie.”

  Grace stepped back and slammed the door shut, then turned back toward the house. He was tempting—he always had been—but she had to get her head together. She knew every reason why Billy was bad for her, but when faced with his pleading expression, the hardest thing in the world was to walk away.

  She glanced back—Billy hadn’t pulled away from the curb yet, and he waited until she got to the door before he started to drive.

  Grace pulled open the side door and stepped in as his truck’s engine rumbled off down the street.

  Why couldn’t keeping these boundaries be easier? She knew what she wanted. She knew what was good for her. But for some reason, she still found herself in Billy Austin’s
arms.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  ON SATURDAY MORNING, Grace slept late and was determined to get some time to herself to sort her emotions out. It didn’t work. Not only was she reliving that kiss by his truck, but she was kicking herself for it.

  She knew better! She knew Billy. For crying out loud, she’d seen him go through girlfriend after girlfriend, and she knew his ways. This—whatever it was—would be a passing memory for him while he moved on to some other woman. But Grace was made of different stuff, and she wouldn’t be able to just sweep it away like a wild weekend in Vegas. Her heart had been entwined with this man for years now, and whatever she was doing with him right now would only make getting over him that much harder.

  She dragged herself out of bed and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a Raiders sweatshirt that she’d left at her parents’ place years ago. She’d promised to meet Billy at the library today, which was better than cozying up with him at his little cabin. And she was working her last day at the school on Monday. Mrs. Powell was taking over her class again on Wednesday morning, and Grace would be on her way back to the city, to her apartment, to her life free of Billy.

  Grace pulled her hair back into a ponytail and stared at her makeup-free face in the mirror. She looked the same as she ever had here in Eagle’s Rest. A little angrier, maybe, and a little less willing to waste her time.

  She smoothed on some face cream and applied lip gloss. Here at home with her parents, she didn’t have anyone to impress, and a loose sweater, paired with some blue jeans, felt just about perfect. She headed down the stairs to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle.

  The side door opened and her father came inside.

  “Morning, sunshine,” her father said. “Your car won’t start.”

  “How do you know?” she asked with a frown. She grabbed a mug down from the cupboard.

  “I was going to move it to get my car out,” he replied. “I’ve tried boosting it, and that didn’t work. So I’m tapped out. I’m a doctor, not a mechanic.”