Hard to Say Yes (The Fallout Series Book 3)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  “Oh yay,” Laney said when she saw us. “I have to pee super bad.”

  I chuckled. Waiting to use the restroom was a common thing for moms with small kids. Not because Dylan being a boy couldn’t go into the women’s restroom. But because of being busy, not wanting to drag your kid away from what he’s doing, and a plethora of other reasons. “Me too. You go, then I’ll go.”

  “Or,” Tegan said, interrupting, “you both go while Dylan and I go sit on that bench”—he pointed behind me—“and wait for you.”

  Well, that did seem to make the most sense, but I’d never left the two of them alone.

  “They’ll be fine,” Laney whispered as she tried to pull me away.

  “Thanks,” I said then gave in to her pulling me away.

  I’d never used a restroom quicker. If Zac came back and found the two of them, would he be mad? I didn’t think so, but I hadn’t made the choice to make Tegan part of our lives yet. Actually, he hadn’t brought it up, either, so maybe he didn’t want the role that came with dating a single mother. Right now, it was all separate.

  “I’ll meet you out there,” I called to Laney as I dropped my paper towels into the trash.

  As I walked up behind them, they were already in the middle of a conversation.

  “Will I like them?” Dylan asked Tegan. I stopped to listen in and figure out what they were talking about.

  “Maybe,” Tegan said. “But both your mom and dad had a lot of fun on the ones we went on, so you’ll probably like them. But it’s also fine if you don’t like rollercoasters—when you’re big enough to ride them.”

  “I hope I like them. Then we can ride together.”

  “That would be fun, wouldn’t it?”

  Dylan nodded emphatically.

  “Boo!” Laney whispered at me as she came up behind me. I jumped, even though she was loud about it at all. She threaded her arm through mine. “Maybe we should just join them.” I let her pull me toward them.

  I’d been in my own world thinking about how natural Tegan was with Dylan and part of me was really uneasy with that.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The rest of our group joined us for the sole non-kiddie water ride Dylan could ride. Thunder Canyon had waterfalls that pour over you as the large innertube type floating seat slowly spun in the stream. I’d brought Ziploc baggies in Dylan’s backpack and we all put our phones inside so they wouldn’t get wet. Dylan laughed so hard on that ride that he made us ride it again right away.

  We played some of the games and Dylan won a teddy bear with Zac’s help. After that, we rode enough rides that by the time we decided to leave, we were all completely dry again. This was the best idea Zac had ever come up with.

  “Food,” Zac called out to us as we were walking back to Tegan’s car.

  I turned to him and asked, “What?”

  “Food. We need to eat.”

  “Right. Yeah.” I glanced at Tegan, then back to Zac. “Why don’t we follow you? We’re just up here.”

  Zac gave me a thumbs-up, then we all climbed into our respective cars.

  Tegan waited for Zac to pass us so he could follow their car out. I had no idea where we were going to eat until he pulled into a family kitchen restaurant. We were a party of seven and they sat us at a table for six with Dylan on the end. Since they were pretty busy, we didn’t mind at all. I just wanted us to get something to eat. Once Zac mentioned food, my stomach wouldn’t stop growling. With Dylan on the end, Zac and I each sat in a chair closest to him, which left Tegan beside me and Rhian beside him and Laney in the middle of Zac and Porter. It was a little tight, but none of us cared.

  “So how’d you like your first trip to an amusement park?” I asked Dylan after we’d ordered.

  “It was the best. I want to go back.” A huge yawn took over his entire face. “Not today.”

  A rumble of laughter rippled down our table.

  “It’s hard work having fun,” Zac told him as he ruffled his hair.

  “Yeah. I’m tired.”

  I gave my son a smile. “Me too, buddy.”

  The waitress brought out our food and the table grew silent. Dylan ordered chicken fingers and fries, an easy go-to for most kids. Tegan ordered grilled chicken and roasted veggies. His eating was making me feel like a fifteen-year-old whose parents were on vacation. His was healthy compared to my ridiculous burger and fries that I’d never be able to finish. Seemed like everyone was as hungry as I was. Once we’d eaten a bit, we chatted about the day and what our favorite things were. Mine was seeing how much fun Dylan had. Porter finished his plate then I offered him half my burger which he took. He also helped himself to a bunch of my fries which I hadn’t offered. Not that I cared.

  “I think this was the best idea you’ve ever had,” I told Zac as we all finished up.

  “I get them once in a while.”

  “Is this all on one check?” the waitress asked.

  We all started talking at once as to who would be on whose check. Rhian and Porter said they were together. I claimed Dylan, which got me a scowl from Zac, who said Laney was with him.

  “Jesus,” Tegan said above the rest of us. “Put it on one. I’ve got it.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Porter told him.

  “Half of you are unemployed,” he said with a grin. “It’s fine.”

  “Wait?” Rhian asked, her face pinched in confusion. “How is it half?”

  “You, Laney, and… ” He nodded toward Dylan.

  I snorted. “That’s a fair point.” If Tegan had just been paying for Dylan and me, I might’ve protested but since he was springing for the group, I wasn’t bothered. I had no idea how much money Tegan made but their parents were at least comfortable. We hadn’t talked about what that meant because it was none of my business.

  “Technically,” Laney interjected. “Rhian and I are not unemployed. Our real paychecks just don’t start until next month.”

  “I stand corrected,” he said.

  Once Tegan paid, we all shuffled out to the cars and after he got on the road, I knew I could’ve easily fallen asleep. But I wouldn’t. Even if all those hours baking in the sun had worn me out. To keep myself awake, I needed to keep talking.

  “Hey, Rhian, have you met Porter’s parents yet?” I asked.

  Porter groaned. “You’re an asshole.”

  I giggled, but Tegan apparently didn’t appreciate his words. “How would you like a nice long walk home?” He glanced at Porter in the rearview mirror.

  “I would not,” Porter answered seriously.

  “Well?” I prodded her.

  “I have. Just once and they were incredibly nice.”

  I turned in my seat to see if she was being serious and from the look on her face, she was or she was an incredibly good actress. I turned back and took my hair down from the bun it’d been in all day. I’d likely look awful, but at this point, I didn’t care as I massaged the skin of my scalp.

  “That’s good.” It was the only thing I could think to say.

  “They like her,” Porter offered, which was more than Rhian had given me.

  “And?” There had to be more.

  “And they warned her not to let me take her innocence.”

  I burst out into a laugh. That was exactly what I was looking for. There was always more with Porter’s super religious parents. It wasn’t even about religion. Theirs was more of a cult.

  When Rhian caught her breath she said, “I didn’t have the heart to tell them that ship sailed in tenth grade.”

  I laughed, but Tegan didn’t find it as funny. “Tenth grade?” he asked, sounding all outraged. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Tegan.” I tapped his arm. It really wasn’t any of our business, but he was her brother.

  “Yeah, tenth grade.” Rhian didn’t seem to mind, though, and maybe this was their normal. “Rob Beale.”

  Now he groaned. “I knew I hated that fucker.”

  “Mine was tenth grade, too,” I
told her in solidarity. Tegan’s jaw clenched and he shook his head but I couldn’t have been sure if that was about his sister or me.

  Rhian snickered in the background. “Porter’s parents also asked that I do my best to save their son’s soul and bring him back. Which only made me wonder if that meant he’d ever been part of their religious stuff.”

  “I wasn’t,” Porter said quickly. “We went to church like regular people back when they were a normal amount of religious but when I was maybe ten, they started in at this new church. That began their descent into what you see today. They tried to bring me with them. They failed.”

  Then I decided to add in my own bit. “Remember in fifth grade when they wanted to send you to the retreat?”

  “Yes. Fucking nightmare,” he said.

  “His parents decided that they wanted to go away for the summer to become one with themselves or whatever and Porter was supposed to go with him. He fought that hard.”

  “What happened?” Rhian asked.

  The memory flooding me was a good one. Even though I hadn’t been involved directly, I would’ve hated it if Porter had been gone the entire summer. “He moved out of his house and lived with Zac for the summer.”

  “Holy shit,” Rhian said through a laugh. “You really didn’t want to go.”

  “I did not,” he confirmed.

  “But seriously,” I continued. “You haven’t seen his parents pull out all the stops in trying to save someone from damnation until you’ve been an unwed, pregnant teenager.”

  Porter groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Let’s not relive that.”

  “Tegan, can you imagine?” Rhian asked her brother. “What’s the worst thing we did in our parents’ eyes? I mean that Mom and Dad know about.”

  “For you, it’s getting with Porter,” Tegan said, but I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or kidding around. Though Laney and Rhian had told me about their visits to Pittsburgh earlier in the summer and my money was on him not joking.

  “I’ll take that as a compliment,” Porter countered.

  “You should. Our parents can be assholes.”

  That knowledge didn’t make me want to meet them any sooner than I had to. If it came to that. Some people rolled with the punches when they found out I had a five-year-old. Others… well, it gave them ideas of how I was raised or my lack of morals. It could go either way.

  “Then what would the equivalent be for you?” Rhian asked Tegan.

  “Nothing. I’m perfect.”

  Rhian snapped her fingers as if she’d just found the gem she’d been looking for the entire time. “Alana What’s-Her-Name. Mom and Dad hated her.”

  “They did, but not for the same reasons, so it’s not the same thing.”

  “Why’d they hate her?” I asked because if they hated some poor high school girl who’d done nothing wrong, then they’d for sure hate me. Single, young mom who’d never gone to college? Not exactly most parents’ dream and from what I’d heard about their parents from Rhian, it was their kind of nightmare.

  “She had piercings and color in her hair,” Rhian answered for him. “But Tegan says they should’ve been more worried about her being crazy and up for anything in bed.”

  My eyebrows shot up as I tried to keep a straight face.

  “Anything, huh?” I said. He didn’t even glance my way. “That had to be a teenage boy’s dream.”

  Porter laughed from the backseat. “That would be the collective dream.” The sound of skin being smacked made me spin in my seat. Porter was rubbing a spot on his arm as Rhian tried not to laugh.

  “Let’s keep this up,” Tegan told his sister. There wasn’t a doubt he’d meant it for her. “It’s really fun for me.”

  “You started it,” Rhian told him.

  I ran my hand down his arm until I could fold my hand into his. “I like hearing about you two growing up. Rhian, have you ever had a boyfriend who they liked?”

  She chuckled. “No. The only boyfriend they’d like is one they chose for me. The problem being, I wouldn’t like one they chose for me so I never dated one. It’s a vicious circle but I think they’re changing their tune. I don’t know. Time will tell.” She cleared her throat before continuing. “They were awful to Porter when they met him but just before Tegan moved here, they showed up at Laney’s one night. We’ve talked a little since then.”

  We filled the rest of the time with light chatter. What shows we enjoyed watching or if there was a book any of us recommended. The best part was being on the road together like this was fun, but also I thought it made Rhian and I even better friends.

  When we pulled up in front of Tegan’s house, Zac and Laney were already next door sitting on their front porch. Zac held a sleeping Dylan against his chest and had an arm around Laney.

  A spike of jealousy hit my chest. Not in the way that I was jealous over what they had, but that I wanted it too. I was glad they’d found that with each other, but I wanted to not only find it but to trust it. However, my stupid overwhelming, at times, desire to have someone to rely on and be with and create a happy family with meant that I’d ended up with assholes like Ian. He wasn’t the first. And I feared he wouldn’t be the last.

  Though that was my fear, Tegan had done nothing to make me think it.

  As we made our way over to Zac and Laney, Tegan’s hand slid up my back and came to a rest at that spot between my neck and shoulder. It was warm and comforting as if he just wanted to remind me he was there.

  “How long have you been waiting for us?” I asked when we got to him. Tegan didn’t move his hand and I didn’t make him because Dylan was asleep and wouldn’t see it.

  “We just got here,” Laney said tiredly. “Wanted to let Dylan sleep until you arrived.”

  “Today was a great idea,” I told Zac again.

  It had all been him, but the fact that he didn’t mind me, and then everyone else, crashing his day trip with his girlfriend just showed how committed to this co-parenting thing we both were.

  “He had fun,” Zac agreed.

  “We all had fun,” Rhian added. “But Porter and I are leaving.”

  “Hopefully going to bed,” Porter added for absolutely no reason.

  She sighed and gave him a push. “Just go.”

  We all said our goodbyes to them, then it was my turn. “Yeah, I better get the tired guy home.”

  “I’ll carry him to your car.” Zac pushed up off the step as if our son weighed nothing, whereas I could barely carry him anymore. Laney stood too but didn’t follow. The girl looked exhausted.

  “Thanks,” I told Zac once he was done getting Dylan settled.

  The little guy woke up during all of this and looked up at me with tired eyes. It’d been a big day for him.

  “See you guys tomorrow,” Zac said before heading back toward the house.

  “Tomorrow?” I called after him.

  He stopped and turned to me with a cheeky grin. “I assume.”

  Zac wasn’t wrong. The fact that we were all friends who hung out together a lot meant weekends were spent together more often than they weren’t.

  “Want me to come over for a while?” Tegan asked once we were alone. Or mostly alone because Dylan was just on the other side of the glass, watching us.

  “I have Dylan.” There was never a time I didn’t want Tegan to come over, but we hadn’t decided we were ready to let Dylan know that he was going to be around more. Though this moment right here made me think the time was coming soon.

  A quick look of disappointment crossed his face before he was able to hide it. “Right. No problem.” His hand trailed down my arm and he took mine in his, giving it a quick squeeze before he took a step back.

  Getting into my car and driving away was honestly the last thing I wanted to do. But it was almost nine o’clock and my boy needed to get to bed.

  Dylan went right back to sleep almost as soon as I tucked him into bed. He was so exhausted that I had to help him change into his pajama
s, which was something he’d been insisting he do alone for two years. It brought back memories when I got to help. I would’ve made him bathe if he wasn’t so tuckered out. It’d have to wait until morning.

  Once he was settled, I hopped into a quick shower to rinse all the sweat and sunscreen away then pulled on my own pajamas. It felt good to be so comfortable after a big outing like that. But I also hated when my wet hair soaked my tank top. Easy fix. Up in a messy bun my hair went.

  I’d just settled in on the couch and began looking for something to watch when my phone beeped with a text alert.

  Dylan asleep? Tegan asked, which immediately made me smile.

  Yes, I told him.

  Then open your door.

  “What?” I whispered into the room. But still, I dropped my phone on the couch and scurried to my feet and over to the door, ripping it open as soon as I got the locks undone. Tegan stood on the other side. The night was still warm, lucky for me because I was in very little clothing and no bra. Cold air might’ve turned embarrassing for me. “What’s going on?”

  “Come here,” he said as he pulled the door shut behind me. “I just wanted to do something.”

  About to ask what that was, he didn’t give me the chance. His soft lips were on mine before I could get a word out. Tegan wrapped his arms around my waist and yanked me to him at the same time his tongue slid against mine. I melted right into him and braced myself against his shoulders. His broad shoulders that were nothing but muscle beneath. Turned out I didn’t need the cold air to embarrass me. Just being near him was enough.

  “Now isn’t that better?” he asked once he ended the kiss.

  “Absolutely, but is this why you came over here?”

  “Yes.”

  “To kiss me?”

  “Yes.”

  “You came all the way over here at ten o’clock at night to kiss me?”

  He grinned widely and said, “Why do you find this so hard to believe?”

  I furrowed my brow. “I don’t know. I’m clearly awesome and give the best kisses.”

  “Clearly.”

  Wrapped in Tegan’s arms had quickly become my favorite place to be. He didn’t let me go just because the kiss had ended, which led me to believe he liked me being there as much as I did.