Burn for Me

by Lea Coll

  Sadie turned and stepped closer.

  “We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m Logan Gray.” He held his hand out to her.

  “Sadie Cole. Nice to meet you,” she said, shaking his hand.

  “Ashley Cook. I remember seeing you at the interview.”

  “That’s right. It was intense right?” she asked, smiling.

  “It was.” It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if the partners asked if she was married or not, but we were standing in the hallway next to the secretaries’ cubicles. Anyone could hear us.

  “You ready to earn this position?” Logan asked.

  “I am.” She smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. “I think it will come down to who wants it the most.”

  That would be me. I’d been successful in almost everything I’d done, but I wasn’t sure that would be enough. We’d need to demonstrate we could bring in the big clients too, that we could wine and dine them, that we could network. I’d need to call on every skill I’d learned over the years. I didn’t know about Sadie, but Logan would excel at the social side of things. He was naturally charismatic and probably knew a lot of players through his dad and his firm.

  “You don’t think years of experience will matter?” Logan asked.

  “I’m sure it will, but you heard Richard, the partners value hard work,” Sadie said. “I’ve worked at a private firm all through school until now. You worked for the government.”

  “So, what? You think the partners don’t respect public sector jobs?” Logan asked.

  Sadie would be a force to reckon with. I couldn’t imagine working while going to law school. I’d gotten good grades, but spent all of my spare time studying. Sadie impressed me as a scrapper—she’d work with whatever she had to get the job. And she had a point. We’d both worked government jobs; the perception was that we didn’t work as hard as private firm attorneys. I’d need to disprove that theory and show the partners I could handle the workload here.

  TWO WEEKS LATER, I DRAGGED myself to girls’ night at Annie’s and plopped into my seat. My feet ached from wearing heels all day, but if I’d gone home, I’d have crawled directly into bed. I had no idea how difficult it would be to make the required billable hours. I worked long days, bringing work home with me. I had almost no time to myself and I needed to fit in time to train for the charity run. I considered doing the one-mile walk, but I had a feeling Logan would be running. If he was running, I was too.

  “How’s working with Logan?” Emma asked, grabbing a cheese cube off of the charcuterie board from the center of the table and popping it into her mouth.

  “As expected, he’s cocky and annoying.” I didn’t say he’d been professional and cordial so far. I wasn’t sure if he was truly different than I thought or different because we worked together now. Starving, I grabbed an appetizer plate and piled it high with salami, cheese, and grapes.

  “Is the job what you expected?” Emma asked.

  “It’s long hours, a ton of work, and not much time for anything else. So, yes, it’s what I expected, but it’s more difficult than I thought it would be. We’re also supposed to run in the Race for Rover 5K this spring too, so I need to get in shape.”

  “You have to run?” Stella asked in a disbelieving tone.

  “Hey! I used to work out in college.” I enjoyed it and kept it up through college, but didn’t have time in law school. “I didn’t run, but it couldn’t be that bad. It’s a matter of finding the time and working up to three miles.”

  “You should run first thing in the morning. Otherwise, you’ll be too tired,” Emma said.

  I was exhausted and my body ached from lack of sleep and from sitting hunched over a computer all day. I couldn’t imagine getting up even earlier to run. “Yeah, by the time I’m off of work it’s dark and I’m exhausted. Anyone want to run with me?”

  Stella snorted. “No way. I hate working out.”

  “Didn’t you play sports in college?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but I only worked out if I had to. I don’t do it for fun,” Stella said.

  “I need someone to hold me accountable to get up every morning. This would be a great way for us to hang out. I’m always at work, so I don’t see you guys anymore,” I said.

  Stella raised her wine glass. “And I’ll be happy to come by with wine when you get off work, but no way am I running at—”

  I tilted my head up to the ceiling. “Five A.M.” I didn’t mind getting up early to go to work, but with the hours I was working, I wasn’t sure I could get up that early. I needed the added pressure of someone counting on me to show up.

  “Nope. No can do chicky.” Stella shook her head. “The last time I ran that early was for lacrosse in college. When the alarm went off, I fell off the top bunk of my bed. I’m not fully functioning at that hour. Sorry.”

  “Oh my God. Did you get hurt?” Emma asked.

  “Nope. My roommate said I jumped right up and ran three miles after that,” Stella said.

  “Wow. That’s impressive,” Emma said.

  “You know, in college, your limbs are all Gumby-like from all the partying and drinking,” Stella said.

  I laughed. “Sure, Stella.” It felt so good to joke around and have a conversation that wasn’t centered around cases.

  “Where do you come up with this stuff?” Emma asked.

  “This is my life. I’m not making it up,” Stella said.

  It felt so good to be outside the office. Those four walls had become my entire life lately. I didn’t realize how tense I was until now. The longer the girls talked, the more I relaxed. I missed this. I needed this. I didn’t see any way I could keep up the hours at work, run, and hang out with the girls. Something had to give and it would have to be girl time. Maybe running could be the answer to maintaining my friendships.

  “How about you, Samantha?” I asked.

  “No. I’m literally Gumby when I run. No one needs to see that. I’m completely uncoordinated. I stay away from physical activity,” Samantha said. “Plus, if I don’t have to be at the bakery that early, I’m asleep.”

  “I wouldn’t get up if I had a hot firefighter in bed with me either. I don’t blame you,” Stella said.

  “Whatever, Stella. Hot firefighters aren’t even your type, are they?” Samantha asked.

  Stella tilted her head as she considered that. “I just want an attractive man who won’t cheat.”

  The waitress stopped by the table and asked, “Did you want to see the dessert menu?”

  “Can you bring that sampler with the bite-sized cheesecakes?” Stella asked.

  The waitress looked to everyone else but we shook our heads.

  “Just bring two samplers. They’ll eat all of my cheesecake even when they say they don’t want any,” Stella said.

  “So true,” I agreed. “Although, cheesecake won’t be good for my new workout routine.”

  When the waitress left, Emma said to Stella, “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone. Not all men cheat.”

  “That’s easy for you and Samantha to say. You’ve got hot guys locked down already,” Stella said.

  Stella was hesitant to date because she didn’t trust her judgment. Every man in her life had cheated on her, which had wrecked her self-confidence. She laughed it off, but I could see that she was in pain and afraid to put herself out there. She’d always been happy and carefree and too trusting of men. Now she was guarded and my heart broke for her.

  My ego still stung from my last serious break-up. I’d dated Greg all through law school and he’d dumped me the day we got our bar exam results. I thought we were on the same page—work hard, become partner, make a ton of money, be successful. It was a good plan. In the end, he wanted more. He wanted a wife and children, sooner than I did, and the worst was he said I was too driven, too career-oriented for him, and too cold in bed. I couldn’t get outside of my head enough to enjoy sex.

  “You’ll find someone. Just don’t close yourself off to someone who could
be great,” Emma said to Stella. Then Emma turned to me. “I’ll run with you. Not every day, though. Luke’s been bugging me to run that race with him.”

  I was pleased she wanted to run with me over her boyfriend. “Shouldn’t you run with him, then?” I asked.

  “He’s ridiculously fast. I think you’re more my speed.”

  Happy to have a running partner, I leaned back in my chair and exhaled. Now I could at least see a friend outside of work. Then I realized what she’d said. “Are you saying I’m slow?”

  “You said you were out of shape,” Emma said.

  “True,” I agreed.

  “And not every day. I reserve the right to cancel at the last second.” She pointed at me. “I know how you are when you get your mind set on something. You’ll be running at five A.M. every single day.”

  I didn’t bother denying it. Once I decided on something, I stuck with it. So far, it had been the key to my success in school and work. It just wasn’t an attractive quality in a girlfriend. I ignored the pang I felt whenever I thought about my ex. I thought he was the one, but he didn’t feel the same way.

  THE NEXT MORNING, I DID a few quick stretches while I waited for Emma at the park. I shivered from the chill in the early morning air. I was full of restless energy and ready to get moving.

  “Hey! Sorry, I’m late.” Emma approached, her face red from the cold and wind. “Luke didn’t want me to leave.”

  I was truly happy for Emma. When she moved here, she didn’t know anyone. She quickly fit into our group and caught Luke’s eye. Now they were living together and I expected an engagement shortly. At the same time, I was a little envious. I tied a strap around my upper arm and attached my phone to it, popped my earphones in, and started my music playlist.

  “Ready?” Emma prompted as she finished light stretches.

  “Yeah. Let’s go.” I checked my watch and took off jogging slowly. “It’s a mile if we run to Washington College and around the campus. If we’re feeling good, we can run a few laps around the track.”

  Emma laughed. “I feel like I’m dying now. I think it’s safe to say we won’t be running additional laps around the track.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I should never have dropped exercise from my routine. It always made me feel better even if I lost sleep to get it done.

  We ran in silence for a few minutes, our ragged breaths the only noise.

  “Well, well, well,” Emma said.

  “What?” I asked as we ran under the brick archway of the historic campus at the side entrance which led to the athletic field.

  “Logan’s running on the track.”

  My heart rate picked up and my head swung around until I saw him running at a good clip. Not used to seeing him in anything but a suit—his muscular thighs, his biceps and chest outlined in his compression shirt made an impression. My mind flashed to a vision of him hot and sweaty on top of me. I was a little startled by my body’s visceral reaction to him working out. “Figures, he’s in shape.”

  “No, kidding. Have you seen his body?”

  “I haven’t noticed.” I’d noticed and that was the problem.

  She snorted at that. “Yeah, okay.”

  “I haven’t. We’re usually so busy arguing; I don’t notice his body.” I did notice his eyes, his dimples, and his cologne. “And I don’t see him like this every day.”

  She smiled smugly. “You argue with him because you’re fighting your attraction to him. That’s it, isn’t it?”

  I was silent for a minute, trying to catch my breath. She wasn’t far from the truth. Was it that obvious? If my friends noticed, then did Logan? I didn’t want him to know. The only thing that separated me from other women was that I didn’t fall for his charm. “What does it matter if I’m attracted to him? He’s a flirt. Have you ever seen him date someone seriously?”

  Her nose scrunched. “I only met him recently when he became friends with Sawyer. How was he in high school?”

  I gestured for her to stop and rested my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. “Ready to stop?” I couldn’t run and carry a conversation at the same time.

  “Yes!” Emma collapsed on the ground. “I think I’m going to die.”

  I laughed, but my muscles were already tight. I knew I’d feel it in the morning. “Don’t be dramatic. I think we were running slower than we walk.” When I’d caught my breath, I said, “In high school, Logan was the center of everything. He was older and we didn’t hang out with the same circle of friends, but I knew of him. Everyone did. He was the best at any sport he tried, girls wanted to date him, and all of the guys wanted to be his friend. He drove a BMW to school, so he was outside of my social sphere. I was a nerd. He was a serial dater. He didn’t have any serious long-term girlfriends then.”

  “Interesting. Is he a man-whore, or is it that he never gets close to anyone? I feel like we need to interview any girl he’s dated,” she said, adding air quotes to dated. “We need to get Stella on this—a recon mission.”

  “Oh shit. He’s walking this way,” I said, very aware that I wore ratty workout clothes, my face was probably red and sweaty, and my hair was falling out of my ponytail. I didn’t look my best.

  “Ladies! What are you doing? You can’t lay on the ground after you run, you could get a cramp.” Logan came to a stop in front of us.

  I resisted the urge to fix my hair, but I unconsciously lifted my shirt to wipe the sweat off of my face. When I lifted my head, Logan’s gaze had dropped to my exposed stomach, causing heat to swirl there. I quickly dropped my shirt.

  “Are you going to help us, Logan? Lead us through some stretches and give us a training schedule?” Emma smiled, lifted her hand for him to help her up.

  I shot her an annoyed look. The last thing I wanted was to spend more time with Logan outside of work. Especially when he was wearing fewer clothes, clothes that clung tightly to the muscles of his chest and his biceps. If this morning was any indication, he was more irresistible when working out.

  His lips twitched up in that familiar cocky grin and addressed me. “If that’s what you want—”

  When his eyes scanned my body, it felt like a physical touch, leaving me tingly all over and my brain a little fuzzy. “Sure,” I said breathlessly.

  His eyes widened as he smiled, a truly genuine smile I’d never seen on him before. It was so unexpected and made him even more attractive; I had to look away. “So, it’s a plan then. You’re going to train with me.”

  I looked at Emma, who was staring intently at me, not responding. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I couldn’t believe Emma suggested this. The last thing I needed was to be around him more than I already was.

  Logan’s cocky grin was back now. “Ashley, I hoped you’d be my competition in this race.” He considered me for a minute as my hands came to rest on my hips. “Unless you don’t think you can keep up? But if you can’t handle it—”

  “No, no, no. I can.” I couldn’t resist the challenge he issued. “We can run together. How far are you running now?”

  “I run five miles a day.”

  I swallowed hard. I hated to admit but he was in far better shape than me. I liked to be the best in everything, but that usually only pertained to book smarts.

  “That’s a little farther than I ever intend to run unless someone is chasing me. And even then I’m not sure I’d make it,” Emma said, laughing.

  “That’s okay. We can start our run together and you can stop when you’re tired. I usually finish at the track anyway.”

  I found myself nodding. Hopefully, I could control myself around him. I knew he’d get me into shape for the race. It would be one less thing I’d have to worry about.

  “Great, I’ll see you tomorrow morning at five. Meet here?”

  “Sure,” I said as he winked and ran back to the track. What did I agree to? What was I thinking? I wanted to stay away from him—not be closer to him. If the sight of him in his workout clothes caused me to imagine havin
g sex with him, then running with him was not a good idea. I’d probably jump him during our run, which would be a bad idea. Not only did we work together, but Logan seemed very casual in his relationships. I couldn’t handle casual, especially when I’d have to see him at work every day.

  “What just happened?” Emma asked nudging me with her elbow. “I always thought there was something between you guys—something simmering under the surface, but this morning, I could cut the sexual tension with a knife.” I didn’t respond. “Now I get it.”

  “Get what?” I felt a little panicky that Emma could read me so well.

  “Why you push him away so hard. You guys would be dynamite together. Are you scared you can’t handle him?”

  “Oh, I can handle him.” My hands went to my hips. “He can’t handle me.”

  “Most men are intimidated by you. You go out in your business suits and no one approaches you. And maybe that’s your goal, but Logan isn’t like those other guys.”

  Her words echoed what Logan said to me the other night. “We’re in competition and he told me himself he likes a challenge.” That challenge was the only reason I’d caught his eye—I was different than other women he met. I didn’t return his flirtations.

  “That’s not what I mean.” She placed her hand on the back of the bench for balance to stretch her leg. “Women fall all over him to get his attention and you don’t. It intrigues him. The more you push him away, the more he wants you.”

  “You don’t get it, Emma.” I heard my voice going up in pitch. The truth was I couldn’t handle Logan. Greg was so tame compared to what I felt for Logan. I knew if we got together, it would be intense, and so far, I hadn’t seen any indication that Logan wanted something serious. “I don’t want him to want me. I don’t want his attention at all.”

  Her forehead wrinkled. “Why? He’s hot and if you’d stop arguing with him for five seconds, you’d see he’s a nice guy.”

  “Logan enjoys flirting and surface stuff, but he’s not serious about anyone. That’s what concerns me. I dated this guy for three years and I thought I knew him. I thought he wanted the same things out of life I wanted, but I was one hundred percent wrong.”