Burn for Me

by Lea Coll

  “Thanks,” Logan said. “I’m glad someone can be mature about this.”

  “Hey! I’m mature,” Stella said. “I provide necessary comic relief in this group.”

  “Thanks, Luke,” I said when I clinked my mug with his. When I thought about this moment, I’d never imagined I’d share it with Logan. I could only hope the next step in my career was the right one.

  “I’ll miss you, but I’m not going to miss you guys fighting. I feel bad for your new co-workers.” Emma smiled.

  Hugging her, I said, “Aw. I’ll miss you too.” Emma had become a great friend over the last year. I hoped my new co-workers would be friendly.

  “And if it doesn’t work out, Logan, you could still work for your dad, right?” Jack asked. Jack had recently moved back home to help his dad’s business and now worked as an instructor at the nearby Fire & Rescue Institute. Friends with Luke since elementary school, he had recently started dating Samantha, our friend and bakery co-owner.

  My mind flashed back to Logan’s reaction when I’d asked him the same question. The way he’d stalked toward me, standing in my personal space, whispering in my ear, quickly escalating from anger to something else. I tried to focus on his reaction to Jack’s question.

  “He wants me to, but I don’t think it would be a good idea,” Logan said, shifting in his seat.

  Sensing his discomfort, I changed the subject. “Do you know Gunner hired a third attorney?” I asked Logan.

  Logan’s face relaxed. “Yeah, a woman named Sadie Cole. She went to our high school, but I think I graduated before she was there. Went to law school at the University of Baltimore and worked for a private firm in the city. I’m not sure why she’d want to come back.”

  “Maybe she didn’t like the city.” Samantha sat next to Jack, his arm around the back of her chair.

  “Does anyone know anything else about her?” I asked. It was a little odd that no one knew anything concrete about someone who’d lived here most of her life. Between being social and her job as a reporter, Stella tended to know everyone even if we didn’t.

  When everyone shook their head, Stella said, “I feel like I know everyone in town, but I don’t know her. She was several years younger than us, though—she was a freshman when we were juniors.”

  “I’m looking forward to the competition,” Logan said with his eyes on mine. “Although, I do have the most experience between all of us.”

  I felt my face get hot between the intensity of his gaze on mine and his insinuation that the job was his. I felt this undeniable attraction to him, but his words irritated me. He was technically right, but it was only a two-year difference. “I think after you graduate from law school, your performance is what matters—not what law school you went to, years of experience, or who you know.” At least that was my hope. I wanted to think I still had a chance in this and I would work my butt off to prove I was right.

  “Tsk, Tsk, of course, that’s important, Ashley, don’t be so naïve.” Lowering his voice, he said, “And are you insinuating that my performance isn’t up to par?”

  His eyes held a challenge and my mind went directly to sex. My face flushed and I tried to recover before anyone else noticed my reaction. “That’s exactly what I was insinuating.”

  “Okay, back to your corners, you guys,” Stella said. “Geez. You are going to tear apart that office. I don’t think that firm knew what they were doing when they hired you.”

  “Oh, I think they knew what they were doing,” Emma said. “Why hire one attorney when you can have these two compete to see who’s the best? It’s a win-win for them.”

  A pit formed in my stomach at her words. She’d said it off-handedly, but what if she was right? Was this is a trial situation where Gunner could weed out the best of the best? It was easy keeping my distance from Logan as opposing counsel; our animosity was a natural consequence of our roles. But working next to him would be different, could I keep it together working beside him every day?

  Our group spilled out of The Pub later that night, laughing and saying goodbyes. Emma and Luke headed toward his car. Samantha and I were the only ones who still had apartments within walking distance to The Pub.

  “Later!” Samantha grabbed Jack’s hand and pulled him down the brick-lined sidewalk toward her large loft apartment over the art gallery.

  “We’re the last single gals in our group! We need to stick together,” Stella said as she hugged me.

  “You’re right.” I hadn’t thought of that. Our friends were pairing off. Dating hadn’t been a priority for me since my ex dumped me. I’d been so focused on work, which wouldn’t change now that I had a new job where I’d need to prove myself.

  “Hey, we’re single,” Logan said, pointing to him and Sawyer.

  “Eh.” Stella laughed. “Not the same. You like to play the field.” At Sawyer’s offended look, she said, “Not you. I meant Logan. He’s always getting women’s numbers.”

  And she was right. It was not an infrequent occurrence that women approached Logan when we were out and slipped numbers in his pocket. But his love life wasn’t my business. I’d made a decision that day at the Fish House to shut down anything between us, if there ever was anything, to begin with.

  “Well, I’m off. Bye!” Stella said, opening the door to her SUV.

  “Me too. Later,” Sawyer said, walking toward his gray SUV parked in front of Stella’s.

  “Bye, guys,” I said to Sawyer and Logan, walking in the opposite direction of Samantha and Jack to my apartment. I lived only a few blocks from The Pub, away from the main downtown area.

  “Ashley, wait up,” Logan said, jogging up to me.

  I raised my brows at him, surprised he’d gone out of his way to talk to me when we were alone. I know I avoided any one-on-one interaction unless it directly related to work, but that was because I’d misread him so badly. I’d kept my distance from him since. He’d tried to contact me a few times after I left the restaurant that night, but I refused to talk to him. “Yes?”

  “I wanted to talk about something.” He fell in step next to me.

  My heart sped up. What could he possibly have to talk about? “Okay.” I stole a glance at him, but he was looking at the ground so I couldn’t see his face.

  “Is this going to work?”

  What was he talking about—the job or our tenuous friendship since we hung out with the same group of friends? Was he finally going to call me out on the fact that I’d frozen him out since the night he’d asked me to drinks but had another woman’s lips on his? “What do you mean? Are you talking about our new job?”

  “Yeah, are we going to be able to work together?”

  I tensed at his implication that I couldn’t be professional, though working together where we’d possibly be on the same team, I wouldn’t be able to keep him at arms-length anymore. I’d always been worried he’d find out how he’d hurt me that first day. “Are you insinuating I can’t be professional?”

  “Calm down. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  I’d given Logan every reason to think we couldn’t work together and I needed to change that. “I can be professional.” I stopped at the door to my building and turned to face him.

  “I’m pretty sure it’s not me that has an issue.”

  I sucked in a breath. Was he finally going to call me out on that night? Why I’d been so prickly since? I couldn’t tell him that I thought he’d asked me out, that I’d thought we had a connection, but been wrong. It stung but I needed to get over it. “I don’t have an issue.”

  He looked away from me then, his disappointment palpable.

  It was then I realized how alone we were. I could hear people talking and laughing when the door to The Pub opened, but otherwise, the sidewalk was deserted. Whenever we were alone my awareness of him increased and I was worried he’d notice.

  Logan stepped closer to me and I forced myself not to back up for more space. “I don’t want to fight anymore.” His face was sincere.
“The day we met, I thought—”

  “We don’t get along, Logan. It’s not a big deal. You’re just not used to this feeling.” Whenever he mentioned that night, I’d shut him down. Admitting I’d liked him at all made me feel vulnerable. Right now, everything about his words and proximity was too intimate.

  His forehead wrinkled at my abrupt change of subject. “Why do you say that?”

  I needed to put this back on him. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You flirt and women fall at your feet.” I held my breath because as much as I was trying to distract him from the real issue, what I’d blurted out was pretty close to the truth.

  His lips twitched and his dimples popped. “I can’t help that I’m a likable guy.”

  And that was my issue. I’d felt something when we met—a spark—something real. But I’d completely misread him and the situation.

  “The question is, why don’t you like me?” he asked.

  My first reaction was to deflect. He was hitting too close to the truth and it was the reason I’d pushed him away all of these years. “It drives you crazy, doesn’t it?” I smiled. “You’re not used to a woman who isn’t automatically enamored with you.”

  “So, what? You’re jealous I flirt with other women?” He tilted his head while he waited for my answer.

  Every effort to deflect was failing tonight and my fears were valid. When he was close, my attraction to him was undeniable. If he pushed too hard, he’d find out I liked him. I had since that first day. “You’re unbelievable.” I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t want to be vulnerable with someone who had the power to crush me.

  He studied my face. The air between us thick with tension. “I think something else is going on inside that head of yours.”

  I sucked in a breath inhaling his scent, leather and cologne, and wished that he was different. That we could be different. The way he acted with women was a sure sign that he wasn’t the one for me. If he found out I’d harbored a crush on him this whole time? He’d think I was silly. I wanted him to see me as a strong independent woman. Not someone who’d fall for blue eyes, dimples, and some charm. Not like those other women.

  “And I enjoy a good challenge, Ashley.” Then he turned and walked away.

  This is what I was afraid of—Logan was too much for me—too manly, too charming, and too good looking. My relationship with Greg was comfortable and I was devastated when we broke up. If that’s how I felt then, what would happen if I let Logan in? If I ever had sex with Logan, I wouldn’t be able to separate my emotions from my good sense.

  NERVOUS AND EXCITED FOR MY first day on the new job, I’d come in extra early with my new office key to take a few minutes to admire my office—the gold-plated name plaque on the outside and my dark wood desk. The large picture window overlooked the gardens of one of the houses located behind the row of law firms, called Lawyers’ Row.

  I was officially a lawyer on Lawyers’ Row, no longer in the public sector. I pulled open the glass doors to the large conference room where everyone was asked to meet first thing this morning to greet the new attorneys. The attorneys outfitted in conservative suits were already seated with legal pads and pens placed in front of them on the table and the office staff seated against the back wall. I scanned the room for a friendly face, but Logan was the only person I knew in the room except for the partners who’d interviewed us.

  When my eyes flicked to Logan, he tilted his head toward the empty chair next to him. Sighing, I walked over to sit. “Good morning,” I said to Logan, showing him I could be civil though thoughts of his words the other night were fresh in my mind and caused my heart to pick up—I love a good challenge.

  He winked when I met his eyes. “Morning.” His voice was always low and rumbly this early in the morning.

  When Richard Gunner stood at the head of the table to speak, I forced myself to pull my eyes from Logan’s.

  “Morning, everyone. I know you’re all very busy, but I thought we should introduce the new associates, give a bit of your history, and hit the ground running.” He nodded at Logan.

  “Morning, I’m Logan Gray, graduated from University of Maryland School of Law, worked at the State’s Attorney’s Office for five years. I’m excited to be here and prove myself.”

  “Welcome, Logan. Happy to have you,” Richard said, nodding for me to go next.

  “Ashley Cook, graduated from American University Washington College of Law, summa cum laude, worked at The Public Defender’s Office for three years. I’m happy to be here and ready to work hard.”

  “Ms. Cook you’ll soon find out that accolades given in law school don’t mean anything at a practicing firm. Your experience should speak for itself.”

  I flushed, embarrassed he’d viewed my words as bragging. I wanted to say something to match up to Logan’s additional years of experience.

  Without waiting for a response, he gestured toward Sadie Cole, seated to my left. “Good Morning, Mr. Gunner, I attended night classes at the University of Baltimore School of Law while I worked for a small firm during the day. When I passed the bar, I stayed on at the firm until this position opened.”

  “I attended the University of Baltimore,” Richard said, gesturing to Don seated next to him, “as did Don. You’ll find that most of the practicing attorneys and judges on the Eastern Shore did as well.” Sadie smiled and nodded in response. “Working full-time and attending night school, I know you can handle the workload. Speaking of workload—let’s get right to it.”

  “Each of you will be assigned a partner to mentor with, but otherwise you’re on your own. You will be assigned cases and the partners are free to provide you with tasks. We hired three of you, but only two will stay and only one will get a partner position.” He pointed at the three of us and Logan sent a cocky grin my way. “As I discussed with each of you privately before you accepted your offer, whoever is chosen will receive a bonus for them and their secretary, and a hefty raise. We’ll make a decision in a few months, so consider this a probationary period.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the secretaries whisper in excitement over the announcement that they’d benefit if their attorney got the job. I was afraid to swallow or shift in my seat, but with a few words, my feelings of accomplishment diminished. Our jobs weren’t secure—I’d need to prove myself. From the introductions, it was clear Logan had the advantage of most years of experience and Sadie had their respect, going to their alma mater while working full-time.

  I was surprised that partner was mentioned this early. Usually, attorneys worked years to obtain that accolade, the equivalent of a tenured professor but with the addition of part-owner of the firm. It was every private attorney’s endgame, but now that it had been dangled in front of me, my initial discomfort changed to excitement. A hefty pay raise would certainly help pay off my student loans, which had only recently gone into a re-payment mode for the next thirty years.

  I carefully watched Logan for any reaction; his mouth was set in a determined line and his elbows rested on the table as he listened to Richard talk about upcoming cases.

  I’d been worried about working with Logan on the same side of the trial table, but with a few words Richard had placed us in competition for the same job. This, I could handle.

  “I also need to point out our office policies which forbid any relationships between partners and associates or secretaries. You won’t have time for relationships, anyway. We’re here to work.”

  It was one more reason why my attraction to Logan was inconvenient.

  “On a lighter note, we’re sponsoring the town’s spring charity run this year as a firm. We’re focused on increasing brand awareness in the community, so it’s important that everyone participate. Start getting in shape. The healthier you are, the less you cost in health insurance and fewer sick days you’ll need.”

  “What’s the charity?” When Richard looked at him blankly, Logan continued, “What’s the race raising money
for?”

  Richard waved his hand to a woman seated against the wall. “Oh, I have no idea. Linda, help me out.”

  Linda, a woman in her fifties, short black curly hair, and brown eyes, shuffled through papers in her lap. “The local animal shelter or something.”

  “It’s not important. What’s important is elevating the firm’s name and reputation in the community. Every event is an opportunity to bring in new clients with large pockets.”

  I bit my lip. I didn’t like the firm’s flippant approach to this charity cause and I didn’t know anything about drawing in large clients.

  Logan slid a note toward me, which read: “Are you ready to race for this random charity?”

  I covered my mouth to cover my smile, pleased he’d included me in an inside joke. He was right. The firm was more concerned with its reputation in the community then which cause they were supporting.

  Linda held up her hand. “It’s the Race for Rover, a 5k and one-mile walk to raise money for the local animal shelter, Chestertown Cat & Dog Rescue.”

  I could get behind this cause, I’d always wanted a dog, but my mom wouldn’t let us get one, saying they were too messy and we didn’t have time for one.

  As we filed out of the room, Logan said in a low voice so only I could hear, “Have you thought about what you’ll do if you’re not top two at the end of this?”

  “No.” I’d never considered I wouldn’t make the top two. Could I go back to my old job if this didn’t work out? If I didn’t get this one, would another firm hire me? Or would they think I wasn’t good enough for Gunner, I wouldn’t be able to handle the workload anywhere else either? I needed this job, the increase in salary, the promise of a bonus. No, I couldn’t think about the what-ifs. I needed to focus on keeping the job I had and being the best associate so I could to get this partner-track position and the respect, salary, and bonus that went with it.

  We’d come to a stop outside Logan’s office, which was next to mine.

  “Sadie,” Logan called out to her.