Amanda Lester and the Red Spider Rumpus

by Paula Berinstein

  “Now what?” said Clive. “That bird isn’t going to let us near it.”

  “Oh ye of little faith,” said Simon. He flicked at something on his phone and held it up. Nick’s voice came out of the speaker. Amanda started. She hadn’t expected that.

  “Hello there, birds,” it said. “How are you today?” The quality was a bit on the tinny side, but Nick sounded wonderful. She loved his voice and that beautiful posh accent of his. Hearing it was like bathing in satin.

  All peacock movement stopped. Simon elbowed Clive. “See?”

  “Yes,” said Clive. “But I don’t know how he does it.”

  “Me either,” said Simon. “He just seems to produce this wavelength.” Amanda thought it was more than that, but then these were birds, not her. “Go get the page before the recording runs out.”

  Clive eyed the animals. “Nuh uh. You get it.”

  “They’re going to keep still as long as I play this,” said Simon. “Just pick up the page.”

  “I’ll hold the phone,” said Clive.

  “They’re not going to attack you,” said Simon.

  “Then you do it,” said Clive.

  “Fine,” said Simon, handing Clive the phone.

  “I’ll hold it,” said Amanda, and took it from him.

  Simon sneaked toward the birds. Mesmerized by the sound of Nick’s voice, they kept still. He inched close, then closer until he was within inches of the precious page. Then he reached down, grabbed hold, and pulled. The page wouldn’t budge. The peacock was sitting on too much of it.

  He pulled again. The page still wouldn’t move, but at least it didn’t rip. “Nice peacock,” he said. The bird eyed him suspiciously but didn’t move. He pulled again. The bird made a noise. He pulled again. No dice.

  Suddenly the recording stopped and the peacocks squawked. The guardian of the page lunged at Simon and got him on the arm while the other peacocks went for the page.

  “Ow!” Simon yelled. “Turn it back on!”

  Amanda fumbled with the phone. It was sticky and kept slipping. Simon should have known better than to eat and touch his phone. A few seconds later Nick’s voice restarted and the birds calmed down.

  Now the page was in the middle of a poopy area, but at least no one was sitting on it. Simon tiptoed around the poop as best he could, picked up the page, and crept slowly backward. When he got about ten feet away he yelled, “Run,” and he, Amanda, and Clive took off, skateboards in hand, toward a nearby seafood restaurant, the birds on their tails.

  “No, don’t go in there,” Simon yelled as Clive made to open the door.

  Clive stopped short and ran to the next building, a china shop, with Amanda on his heels. The peacocks were close behind.

  “Not there,” yelled Simon.

  Clive ran to the next building, opened the door, and threw himself in. The door hit Simon as he was attempting to enter. He grabbed the handle and pushed his way in with Amanda following. The kids found themselves standing in the middle of a yoga class.

  “Namaste,” said the teacher. She was completely mellow, treating them as if they were late arrivals.

  Simon took one look, turned around, and fled out the front door with Amanda and Clive in tow, right into the peacocks.

  “I have an idea,” he yelled. “Follow me.”

  With the peacocks assailing them, the kids raced around the corner to the post office. Simon pushed the door, flew in, and the others followed, panting.

  “Now what?” said Clive.

  “Come on,” said Simon.

  He clomped over to the free packing materials, grabbed hold of a padded envelope, photographed both sides of the page, and slipped it inside. Then he addressed the package to himself care of Legatum and got into the line.

  “You’re kidding,” said Clive, taking a spot next to him.

  “Do I look like I’m kidding?” said Simon.

  “I don’t think this is the best idea,” said Amanda.

  “Have you got a better one?” said Simon.

  “No, but—”

  “Next,” said the clerk, and the kids walked up to the counter.

  “That will be one pound,” said the clerk, a young woman with a ring in her nose.

  Simon dug into his pocket and came up with a pound coin, which he shoved in the woman’s direction. She printed a label, stuck it on the package, and handed him a receipt. The page was scheduled to arrive the next day.

  As the three friends made their way back to the school, Clive shot Simon a glance. “You do realize we could have just wrapped it in a bunch of packing material and kept it,” he said. “The peacocks wouldn’t have known.”

  Simon ignored him. Amanda didn’t think he was in the mood to admit he’d overlooked the obvious.

  When they got back to Legatum, Ivy was waiting for them.

  “Well?” she said.

  “We got it!” said Clive triumphantly.

  “Can I feel?” said Ivy, holding out her hands.

  “We don’t have it,” said Simon.

  “You just said you got it,” Ivy said. There was an awkward silence. “Simon?”

  He rubbed his arm. “We, uh, sort of got attacked by the peacocks.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Ivy said. “But where is the page?”

  Clive glanced at Simon. “It’s in the post.”

  “You what?” said Ivy.

  “I mailed it to myself,” said Simon, clutching the wounded spot.

  “Whatever for?” said Ivy.

  “Yeah, whatever for?” said Clive.

  “I third that,” said Amanda.

  “It’s a long story,” said Simon. “We’ll have it tomorrow. I took pictures.”

  “You should give them to Scapulus,” said Ivy. “So he can decode the page.”

  “That doesn’t work for the ultraviolet level,” said Clive. “But yeah, he can start on the visible bit.”

  Simon texted Holmes, who came running. Amanda whispered in Ivy’s ear. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

  “What do you mean?” Ivy whispered back.

  “Tell you later.”

  “I don’t understand,” said Holmes when he heard what was going on. “Why didn’t you just bring the page back?”

  “They wouldn’t leave it alone, okay?” said Simon. “I engaged in quick thinking. You would have done the same thing.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” said Holmes. “But this will do for the moment. A third page. That’s quite encouraging.”

  “If we just keep monitoring them we might find the whole thing,” said Simon.

  “You’re not going to mail yourself all the pages, are you?” said Ivy.

  “Whatever works,” said Simon.

  Amanda rolled her eyes.

  Holmes made short work of the translation and was very excited when he reported back to the others.

  “You are not going to believe this,” he said breathlessly. “Earful claims that the original Moriarty had a secret stash where he kept all his formulas. And Earful knew where it was.”

  Amanda was gobsmacked. Moriarty’s secrets! The same ones Nick had told her about.

  “Where was it?” said Ivy.

  “It doesn’t say,” said Holmes.

  “It wouldn’t still exist anyway,” said Simon. “It’s probably been moved a million times, if it’s even extant.”

  Oh, it was extant all right. Amanda would have to say something eventually. But how could she do that in front of Holmes? She was terrified that any mention of her and Nick together would lead to disaster.

  She searched Holmes’s face. He was completely oblivious, focused only on the task in front of him. One word from her might destroy his whole world. She couldn’t do it.

  “Maybe he mentions it in the ultraviolet layer,” said Clive.

  “If that’s the case,” said Holmes, “we should be able to decipher it tomorrow. That’s the delivery date they gave you, right, Simon?”

  “That’s what they said,
” Simon said.

  “Well then,” said Holmes. “Until tomorrow.”

  But when the post came the following day, Simon’s package wasn’t in it. Nor was it there the day after, or the day after that.

  “This is terrible,” Holmes said. “If that page got lost it will be a disaster.”

  “It will be here,” said Simon, gritting his teeth. The expression made him look like a wrestler.

  “I wouldn’t be too sure,” said Clive.

  “They’re just slow,” said Simon.

  “It isn’t a holiday,” said Ivy. “I think it might be lost. Can you trace it, Simon?”

  “The tracking stops after it left the post office,” Simon said. “I got a text.”

  “Did you check online?” said Amanda. “Maybe there’s more information on the Web site.”

  “I did,” said Simon. “It just ends.”

  “This isn’t good,” said Holmes. “You should go down to the post office and try in person.” Simon sighed. “What?”

  “Analog,” said Simon. “It’s so antiquated. But if you want me to, I’ll do it.”

  “At least we have the pictures,” said Ivy.

  “Blixus has Moriarty’s secrets,” Amanda told Simon, Ivy, and Clive later. “Nick told me.”

  “Then let’s go get them,” said Simon. “Wait, you knew about this and didn’t tell us? Look, Amanda, if Nick tells you something, you have to let us know.”

  “I was going to,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

  “You need to tell Scapulus how you feel about Nick,” said Ivy. “This secrecy thing is starting to affect all of us. You’re so worried about hurting Scapulus’s feelings that you’re keeping critical information to yourself.” It was pretty blunt stuff coming from Ivy.

  “I will,” said Amanda. “It’s just . . . so difficult.”

  “I know,” said Ivy, “but—”

  “Just do it,” said Simon. “He’ll live.”

  Like you will if Ivy rejects you? Amanda thought. “You don’t know Scapulus like I do,” she said. “He gets weird about things.”

  “Just you,” said Clive. Amanda looked up at him, shocked. This was not the Clive she knew and loved.

  Suddenly Amanda realized that her drama with Nick and Holmes was just that: hers. It wasn’t Ivy’s, it wasn’t Simon’s, and it wasn’t Clive’s. It wasn’t fair of her to impose it on her friends, as if she were some VIP and they her minions. Each of them had their own concerns, and yet not one of them had foisted any of that on anyone else. What an idiot she was. She was still, even after all this time away from L.A., acting like she was the director. What was wrong with her?

  She’d thought she’d come a long way. The teamwork, the friendship, the things she’d never had—never even wanted—before coming to Legatum, they were supposed to have changed her. And here she was back at square one, as if the last year hadn’t happened.

  Well, enough. She was part of a team now and she needed to act like it. From now on she would be there for her friends whenever they needed her. Starting immediately.

  “So about these secrets,” said Simon. “Let’s go get them.”

  “I would run there this minute but it might be a bit difficult,” said Amanda.

  “Why? It’s the weekend. Just ask Nick and we’ll be off.”

  “He doesn’t know where they are.”

  “You mean in all that time with Moriarty he never found out where his ancestor’s secrets—oh.” Simon’s voice trailed off. “Riiiight.”

  Yes, right. Blixus would never have let Wink Wiffle’s kid know where the secrets were. Which implied he did know that Wink was Nick’s father.

  “So we’re back to the package,” said Clive, giving Simon an unhappy look.

  Simon rounded on him. “It. Will. Be. Here.”

  But the post office was of no help tracing the parcel and it didn’t arrive. No one could figure out where it had gone, and no one wanted to voice the unthinkable: that Banting Waltz or Blixus Moriarty or heaven forfend some monkey had somehow intercepted it.

  14

  SALTY’S TEST

  The next morning Simon caught Amanda in the hall. He seemed agitated.

  “Did you talk to Salty?” he said.

  This was not something she wanted to deal with at the moment, especially since she hadn’t slept well. She’d spent days trying to figure out whether Salty had threatened her and she still wasn’t sure. But Fern’s safety was on the line and she’d have to do something sooner or later.

  “Yes,” she said dourly. “I did.”

  Simon frowned. “Not good? I’ll rip his eyes out.”

  “SI-mon,” she said. “Don’t be a jerk.” The thought of Simon beating anyone up was laughable. Anyway, violence wouldn’t settle anything. She struck out for the dining room. Maybe some tea would help her wake up.

  As he walked alongside her he got pouty. He was obviously upset about that package. She couldn’t blame him, even if it had been a stupid thing to do. “I don’t want anything to happen to Fern.”

  “I’m not sure it will.”

  “Well, would you tell me what happened already?”

  Amanda stopped walking and faced him. “He told me it was none of my business.”

  “That doesn’t sound good,” Simon said.

  “No, but in a way it isn’t. My business, I mean.” She really didn’t want to talk about this. At least not until she’d had some tea. She started walking again.

  “It sure is. Fern is your friend.”

  “Maybe it’s something he’d rather not talk about.”

  “Oh, I’ll bet it’s something he doesn’t want to talk about. Who’d want their girlfriend to know they had a criminal record—for violence?”

  She stopped and looked at him. His hair was all wild and he looked tired. He really was worried. “What do you want me to do?”

  “You don’t have to get your knickers in a twist, Amanda. I’ll talk to him.”

  “You’ll get the same thing I did.”

  “Then he’ll know we’re onto him and he’ll be good. Or he’ll split. Either way it will resolve the issue.”

  He just didn’t get things sometimes. Most of the time, actually.

  “Fern will love you for that—Simon Binkle driving away her boyfriend. Forget about anything you could ever have with Ivy after that.”

  Simon brightened. It was an odd reaction, or would have been if it had been anyone else’s. “So what do you think?”

  What was with him anyway? “I think you shouldn’t talk to Salty.”

  “No, about me and Ivy.” He grinned goofily.

  She had no patience for his moods. “What do you want me to say, Simon?”

  “That Ivy would be lucky to have me. What else?”

  “She would, but it isn’t up to me.” Actually, she wasn’t at all sure Ivy would be lucky to have him, although it wouldn’t be terrible. Simon was honest, straightforward, and noble. Also annoying.

  “Amanda . . .”

  “No. I’m not telling you what she said. If you want to know how she feels, talk to her yourself.”

  “She loves me, doesn’t she?” he said matter-of-factly.

  “Ask her,” said Amanda.

  “You know, I didn’t realize it at first,” he said. “It took me a long time.”

  “What, that you cared for her?”

  “Loved her, Amanda. I love her. I adore the ground she walks on. She is the most perfect human being who ever lived.”

  “And that’s why you told her she was a Goody Two-Shoes, is it?”

  Simon frowned. “Oh, that. That was just me being afraid she’d reject me. You know how it is.” Amanda gave him a sharp look and he reddened. “I mean, oh, sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “I’ll forget you said that. I do understand trying to cover up your feelings though. We’ve all done that.” Some of us still were.

  “I didn’t want to,” said Simon. “I wanted to crush her with my love. I was just afraid she woul
d reject me.”

  “And now?” said Amanda.

  “And now she knows. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

  “What will you do if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

  “So she doesn’t?”

  “I don’t know, Simon. You have to ask her. I’m just wondering what you will do if that turns out to be the case.”

  “Oh well,” said Simon. “I’ll just keep on keeping on. No biggie.”

  As Amanda wandered off to her next class, she thought about what Simon had said. How was it that one person’s true love could be life or death and another’s no big deal? People sure were weird. And that included Salty. What was the truth about him anyway? She had no idea. But suddenly, thanks to Simon, she knew how to find out.

  “Come with me,” she said to Simon later.

  “What’s up?”

  “I want to visit the peacocks.”

  Simon raised an eyebrow. Considering what had happened the last time they’d seen the birds, Amanda wasn’t surprised. The package still hadn’t arrived and Simon was beyond frustrated. He refused to take any blame though, claiming it would turn up eventually. “Why don’t you get someone else to go with you?” he said.

  She touched his arm. “I need you.”

  He looked down at her fingers and said, “What are you up to, Amanda?”

  “I’m not up to anything. I want to see the peacocks and I’d like your company. Will you please come with me?”

  “Fine,” he said ungraciously. “But if you want to listen to Nick’s voice, you should just go talk to him.”

  He grabbed his skateboard and joined Amanda in the foyer. Then the two of them skated down the driveway, out the gate, and down to town. Thrillkill had long since relaxed the rules about students leaving campus so they were able to move about pretty freely. With everything that had happened in the last year, he was much more focused on who came in the gates, although everyone who left was still filmed.