Amanda Lester and the Red Spider Rumpus

by Paula Berinstein

“No. I didn’t know then.”

  “But you’ve loved him all along.”

  “Yes.”

  “I knew it,” said Editta. “I always thought you were lying. Is he—”

  “Wait a minute,” said Hugh. “If Nick was adopted, who are his real parents?”

  “Nick and David are brothers,” Amanda blurted out.

  “What?” said David.

  “Wink Wiffle is Nick’s father,” said Amanda.

  “You’re a liar!” David screamed. He ran to her and punched her in the stomach. It knocked the wind out of her and she oofed.

  “What’s she talking about?” said Hugh.

  Waltz brought his face close to Amanda’s and said, “Tell us more.”

  Amanda could barely breathe but she could feel herself wanting to open up about everything: Nick’s intention to divorce Blixus, his DNA test, the search for his real mother, all of it. But something inside her rebelled against exposing his private business and she kept her mouth shut.

  “Amanda?” said Waltz.

  “Maybe she needs yes or no questions,” said Editta. “Amanda, is Wink Wiffle really Nick’s father?”

  Amanda could feel herself say, “Yes.”

  “NO!” yelled David. “Why do you always lie about my dad?”

  “He’s your brother then,” said Editta. “That’s amazing. You’re nothing alike.”

  “Nick is not my brother!” David screeched.

  “Well he isn’t mine,” said Hugh happily. “I’m quite relieved actually. There was always something off about him.”

  “Who is Nick’s mother?” said Waltz.

  “I don’t know,” said Amanda.

  Waltz turned to Blixus. Blixus shrugged.

  “You really don’t know?” said Waltz.

  “No.”

  “And Nick doesn’t know?”

  “No.”

  “But it had to be somebody Wink Wiffle was seeing,” said Hugh. “Wait, is it Celerie Wiffle?”

  “NO!” David screamed.

  “No,” said Amanda. “Not her.”

  “But you don’t know who?” said Waltz.

  “No.”

  “Amanda,” said Editta, “is Nick—”

  “You’re quite a hussy,” said Hugh out of nowhere. “You love Nick and Holmes too?”

  “Yes, what about that?” said Blixus.

  This was definitely something Amanda didn’t want to get into. She gathered every iota of strength she could muster and kept her mouth shut.

  “That tells you something,” said Hugh, interpreting her silence as a yes.

  “That’s pretty bad, Amanda,” said Editta. “You can’t have both of them.”

  Amanda felt herself wanting to scream at Editta and tried to picture a distraction: an elephant, Nigel, her Aunt Ethel, anything but Holmes and Nick.

  Then Blixus said, “Where is Nick?”

  This was a taboo subject. In fact it was the last thing she should be discussing, so she concentrated as hard as she could on a mental image of Professor Sidebotham’s camel.

  “Come on, Amanda,” said Blixus. “I know he survived the explosion even if my old boat didn’t.”

  “Yes, where is he?” said Hugh.

  It was hard not to think about Nick at the best of times, but now when they kept saying his name it was almost impossible. Amanda conjured up faces of the kids she’d gone to school with in Los Angeles, the films she’d made, names of movie stars beginning with M—anything to keep herself distracted.

  It seemed that Hugh could read her mind, though, because he said, “Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.”

  It was so hard to keep thinking about German movie directors when they wouldn’t stop saying his name. Maybe cat breeds: Persian, manx, Siamese . . .

  “Just think of that dark hair and those blue eyes,” said Editta.

  No! German shepherd, dachshund, cocker spaniel—

  “And that voice,” said Editta. “Have you ever heard anything so amazing?”

  Roses, daisies, snapdragons—

  “Look at her,” said Editta. “She’s turning red.”

  “Yep, she’s pretty far gone,” said Hugh. “Ick.”

  “Tell us how you love him,” said Editta. “How you dream of him at night.”

  Expecto patronum, the boy who lived, he who must not be named.

  “Think of his touch . . .”

  “He’s at Legatum!” Amanda shrieked.

  Hugh giggled, Editta smirked, and Blixus said, “That wasn’t so hard, was it, Lestrade?”

  Amanda was horrified. She could tell she’d betrayed Nick. She deserved to die.

  “What’s he doing with Thrillkill?” said Blixus.

  “I’m not telling you anything!” Amanda screamed.

  Blixus pointed to the jar of spiders. “Another bite, perhaps?”

  He brought the jar over, grabbed Amanda’s arm, and pushed her hand in. A spider bit her at once.

  “Why is Nick at Legatum?” said Blixus.

  “He hates you, you know,” said Amanda.

  “Big surprise,” said Blixus. “Answer the question.”

  “He wants to be a detective,” said Amanda.

  This news seemed to surprise Blixus because his jaw dropped.

  “That doesn’t make sense,” said Hugh.

  “Yes it does,” said Editta. “He’s in love with her. He wants to be where she is. I kept trying to ask but I don’t need to. It’s obvious.”

  Blixus shook his head. “No, I trained him better than that.”

  “I could see it in his eyes,” said Editta. “It’s always been her.” She sat down hard. It seemed that the truth was finally hitting her.

  “You people are weird,” said Hugh.

  “Why would Thrillkill let him in?” said Blixus. “Surely he’d send him to prison.”

  Amanda pictured an intricate design and mentally traced each line.

  “Think of his eyes,” said Editta.

  “Ooooh, those eyes,” said Hugh.

  “Shut up,” said Editta. “Someday you may understand, although I doubt it.”

  “I wouldn’t want some female drooling over me,” said Hugh.

  “Some guy, then,” said Editta.

  “Ew,” said Hugh.

  “Amanda,” said Waltz. “Why has Thrillkill let Nick in?”

  Amanda couldn’t help herself. “You know the answer to that. My mom is a teacher there. I’m sure she’s told you.”

  Blixus turned to Waltz with a questioning look. “Banting?”

  “I haven’t spoken to her for a while,” said Waltz unconvincingly.

  “You’ve known about this all along,” said Blixus. “Why haven’t you told me?”

  Waltz gave him an insolent look. “I was going to. I was waiting for the right time.”

  “You must think I’m an idiot if you think I’m going to believe that,” said Blixus.

  “No, of course not, your grace,” said Waltz servilely.

  “Don’t ‘your grace’ me,” said Blixus. “When were you going to tell me?”

  “I was saving it for my dubbing,” said Waltz.

  “Uh huh,” said Blixus. “I don’t believe that for a second but as long as we’re on the subject, what is the answer?”

  Waltz sighed. “The boy has traded his potential admission to Legatum for information. A full debriefing about you and your activities.”

  Blixus laughed. “That hardly comes as a surprise. But what do you mean ‘potential admission’?”

  “He has to pass some tests,” said Waltz.

  “Such as?”

  “He passed the first two. He had to get Celerie Wiffle and Editta’s mother to give money to the school, which, considering that they’re suing Thrillkill, was a neat trick.”

  “Nick got my mother to give money she doesn’t have?” said Editta. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Amanda, is it true?” said Waltz.

  “Yes,” said Amanda. She felt so sick from the second bite she wa
nted to hurl.

  “And then what?” said Blixus.

  “The second test was more interesting,” said Waltz. “Thrillkill forced him to ingest poison and he had to come up with the antidote.”

  “That’s awesome,” said Hugh.

  “Obviously he passed,” said Blixus drily.

  “Yes. The antidote was in Amanda’s bag. Thrillkill’s idea of irony.”

  “You’re kidding,” said David, who had been silent for some time.

  “No,” said Waltz, “It was quite a trick. I have to hand that one to him.”

  “Hm,” said Blixus. “And?”

  “He won’t pass the last one,” said Waltz. “He has to capture Hugh.”

  Hugh burst into raucous laughter. Amanda may have felt sick but she was now seething too. “I wouldn’t laugh if I were you,” she said. “It’s been done before.”

  “But you let me go,” Hugh taunted. “Doncha wish you hadn’t?”

  “What happens if he fails?” said Blixus. “Do they turn him in to Inspector Lestrade?” He laughed at his own joke. Amanda wanted to punch him.

  “I must say that Thrillkill has been rather vague on that point,” said Waltz. “Amanda?”

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  “But they might?” said Blixus.

  “It’s possible,” said Waltz.

  “I think I should enjoy that very much,” said Blixus, “although I’d prefer that he were dead. Perhaps he won’t live very long in prison.”

  Amanda gasped. She couldn’t believe she’d ever doubted that Blixus had actually beat Nick. He was the cruelest man she’d ever met. It was a wonder Nick was even functional considering how he’d grown up.

  “Something wrong, my dear?” said Blixus. “You didn’t know you were dating a psychopath, did you?”

  “He’s not a psychopath!” Amanda screamed.

  Blixus winked. “That got a rise out of her, didn’t it?” He ran a hand through his hair. “I think that just about does it, Banting. Thank you.”

  21

  BLIXUS SPILLS

  Amanda was ashamed. She hadn’t been able to resist the spiders’ venom and she had spilled her guts. So what if she’d had double the dose the boys had? She should have been stronger.

  The teasing, the taunting had all been unpleasant but she could bear that. She wasn’t embarrassed to love Nick and she didn’t care who knew. The way they’d badgered her reflected more on them than on her and she almost felt sorry for them: Editta, who obviously still loved Nick; David, who was bewildered by his father’s history; Hugh, who didn’t understand normal behavior; and even Blixus, who had probably known that Wink was Nick’s father all along.

  Blixus was a cruel man, but that didn’t completely explain his behavior. Wink had been not only a detective but Mavis’s lover, and although the criminal hadn’t known about the relationship when he’d met her, he’d hated Wink long before. But would he have gone so far as to adopt Wink’s son to exact revenge? It was unthinkable.

  And yet when Amanda had blurted out that Wink was Nick’s real father, Blixus hadn’t seemed surprised. The others had, but he’d sat there impassively. His lack of response implied he’d always known, and if that were the case, it explained a lot. Blixus had abused and mistreated Nick precisely because of who he was. The question was whether Mavis had known.

  If Mavis had truly loved Wink, would she have wanted to adopt his son by another woman? Would she have been kind to the boy, as Nick claimed, or cruel, like her husband? It didn’t gibe. She must not have known. Otherwise she would have been just as awful to him as Blixus.

  So Blixus knew but Mavis hadn’t. Perhaps Blixus had known about Wink and Mavis after all, and adopting Nick had been his revenge on both of them. Nick, after all, was the child Mavis had wanted with Wink and been denied. And yet Blixus had seemed completely surprised to find out that they had once been lovers.

  What a mess. Amanda couldn’t imagine how Nick could deal with all this. She knew it bothered him—it had to, or he wouldn’t have left—but he seemed so strong. She couldn’t believe how well he was handling the upheaval. What he’d been through would turn most people to jelly.

  As she came to, Amanda could hear Kate scratching and crying in the closet. She hoped that whatever happened Blixus and Waltz would let the woman go, although from the looks on their faces that wasn’t likely. How had these men got so warped? Probably by having parents like them.

  What would Hugh be like as an adult? Unless he ended up in prison, or even if he did, probably a copy of his father. If Mavis truly had been nicer than Blixus, it was a shame she hadn't exerted more influence over him, although come to think of it, she had killed Wink. Whatever Nick may have thought, she wasn’t exactly Mary Poppins.

  The men were discussing what to do with Kate when all of a sudden Waltz grabbed hold of Blixus’s arm and forced it into the jar. Blixus cried out as at least one of the spiders bit him. Waltz held his hand there for what seemed like forever, so it could have been all of them for all Amanda knew.

  What in the world was Waltz up to? Literally biting the hand that fed him, apparently. What nerve. If he would turn on the man he hoped to work for, what would he do to Lila? Despite the problems she had with her mother, Amanda was afraid for her.

  Waltz faced Blixus with a smirk on his face and said, “So.” Blixus stared up at him in a daze. Waltz snapped his fingers. “David, record this.”

  David looked at Waltz as if he were crazy. Then he glanced at Editta. She and Hugh were sitting there with their mouths open.

  “You heard me, Wiffle,” said Waltz. “Get busy. There are people who are going to want to see this.”

  Amanda couldn’t believe what she was seeing. David rushed to get his phone and turned on the camera. Then Waltz said, “As you may have discerned, ‘your grace,’ I am your boss now, with all the rank and privilege that entails.” He grabbed Blixus by the hair, pulled his head back, and giggled.

  “Now then, Blixus,” said Waltz, yanking harder. “What kind of a name is that anyway? Sounds like your mother choked on her alphabet soup.” He laughed again and the sound chilled Amanda to the bone. “I want you to write out a list of all your associates and their locations. And I do mean all of them.” He let go of Blixus’s hair, then spotted a pad of paper behind the reception desk. He grabbed it and a pen and shoved them at him.

  Blixus looked up at him groggily. He had obviously absorbed a lot of venom. He stared at the pad, then the pen, and wobbled toward them. He managed to grasp them and settled the pad in his lap. Then he took the pen in his left hand and began to write.

  After a few minutes he was done. Waltz grabbed the pen out of his hand and said, “David, can you please get a shot of this list? Horrific penmanship but it will have to do.” David stumbled over to Blixus and pointed the camera at the pad. “Enough.” Waltz motioned for David to return to his spot.

  “Now, Moriarty,” he continued, “let’s talk about these associates of yours. I’d like to get this on video, just so we’re clear that you actually spilled the beans yourself.” Blixus sat there with his tongue lolling out. If he hadn’t been such a terrible person, Amanda would have thought he looked a bit like Nigel.

  “Top-level henchmen,” said Waltz, snapping his fingers. “Go!”

  “No!” yelled Hugh. “Don’t talk, Dad!”

  “Shut up, boyo,” said Waltz.

  “Don’t talk to him like that,” said Editta.

  “You too, weirdo,” said Waltz. “You really believe in voodoo, do you? My, my.”

  Editta glared at him.

  “Blixus? We’re waiting.”

  “There are a dozen of them,” Blixus slurred. “I wrote the names.”

  “I want to see you say them,” said Waltz. “With locations.”

  For the next couple of minutes, Blixus spilled information critical to the running of his criminal empire while his son and Editta watched in tears. Amanda couldn’t detect one sign of resistance. She had no ide
a how many spiders had bitten him but it had to be at least three.

  Waltz was practically rubbing his hands together in glee. “You do realize that they’ll all be dead within hours. You’ve done me a huge favor. When they’re gone the rest of your organization will look to me for leadership. So simple, really.”

  So this was what Waltz had been about. For how long Amanda didn’t know, but it might have been years. She was pretty sure he’d deliberately courted her mother too, as part of his plan. But what was he going to do with her now? She wished she could warn Lila, although she probably wouldn’t listen.

  After another miserable half hour of interrogation Waltz forced Blixus’s arm into the jar again and said, “Now we get to the good stuff. Are you ready?”

  What that could be Amanda had no idea. Wasn’t disclosing the inner workings of his organization enough? What else could Waltz want from the man?

  “Let’s talk about Amboy, shall we?” said Waltz.

  Blixus’s face went white. Regardless of the venom in his system, whatever or whoever Amboy was the name had got through to him.

  “Did you think I didn’t know?” Waltz taunted. “Your twin brother, dead at twelve. You still miss him, don’t you?”

  Twin brother? What was this about?

  “He was a mathematical genius, wasn’t he? Very much like your son.”

  Blixus looked astonished and horrified at the same time.

  “Well, go on.”

  Blixus looked utterly defeated. That venom was extremely powerful stuff. No wonder Earful had tried to keep it secret.

  “My brother,” Blixus said quietly. “He understood the Moriarty formulas like no one else. He was working on his own variations when he died.”

  “What became of them?” said Waltz.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Oh, come now. Surely you have an inkling.”

  “I truly don’t. I’ve been searching for them all this time.”

  “Poppycock,” said Waltz, holding out the spider jar. “More venom? It’s so delicious.”

  Blixus eyed the bugs drunkenly and said, “Nick.”

  “Nick? Nick has the formulas?”

  “I’m not sure. He might. I was never sure.”

  “You’re telling me that Nick found what you weren’t able to?”