Until Tomorrow

by Kari Lee Harmon

  Joseph stepped outside onto the open platform and stared out at the raging sea as he waited for Kathleen to join him. The wind whipped furiously now and the rain started to fall, splattering against the glass and soaking his clothes. He turned away to go back inside when he suddenly realized his love was trekking along the shore by herself in this retched weather. This might not have been his best idea having her meet him here. He started to make his way down the stairs to meet her when thunder boomed outside, shaking the lighthouse, followed quickly by a symphony of lightning that lit up the room seconds before hitting the lighthouse tower.

  Joseph fell to the floor, hitting it hard and sending intense pain radiating up from his bad leg. He rolled onto his back to catch his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He grit his teeth, knowing his leg was broken. He’d been so stupid and careless, risking everything to satisfy some romantic fantasy of making love to Kathleen in their lighthouse before sailing away to start their new life together. The pain hadn’t subsided but a noise sounded that had his eyes whipping open in horror. It couldn’t be. Not now. Not after everything they’d gone through to get here, was his last thought before the unthinkable happened.

  Kathleen hurried as fast as she could through the pelting rain. It was coming down in sheets now. She’d woken up in the cabin of Joseph’s boat after making the most beautiful love all night long. Joseph’s family and William had nearly destroyed what was between them, but Kathleen refused to let that happen. Joseph loved her and they were meant to be together, whether William granted her a divorce or not and even if his family never accepted her. She realized she could no longer worry about any of them, not even her own family. She had always put everyone else first, and this time she refused to.

  She’d waited until she knew William was at work, just like Joseph had told her to, and then she’d slipped away from his boat and made her way back to her cottage. Gathering only her essential belongings, she left everything else behind and set out in the direction of her favorite lighthouse. The beacon of hope that had kept them connected for so long now. The special place that was going to launch their new life together, and she could hardly wait.

  The rain came down in sheets now as she painstakingly made her way down the shore and around the bend until she reached the lighthouse. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Joseph’s boat. He’d made it. She was concerned when she saw the big waves and angry clouds. Deciding they could store her things in his boat later, she ducked into the lighthouse to get out of the rain. Setting her things down, she called out his name.

  “Joseph? It’s Kathleen. I’m here. Where are you?”

  “Up here,” came a faraway weak-sounding voice, but it was the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard.

  She dropped her belongings and raced up the winding staircase to meet the love of her life. Running into the watch room, Kathleen came to an abrupt halt. Sheer horror and fear like she’d never known paralyzed her. When she was able to move, her shaking hand fluttered to her face and she covered her trembling lips. Fighting for air, she shook her head no. This was so unfair. This couldn’t happen to them. She wouldn’t let it.

  “Sweetheart, don’t do this to yourself,” Joseph said, and reached out a hand to her, looking so weak.

  Kathleen realized she needed to be strong for him. She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears, still in a daze of shock. Suddenly she found herself acting on instinct, as if out of her body and watching the scene unfold below her. Quickly walking over to him, she felt a surge of adrenalin like nothing she’d ever felt before. She tugged with all of her might and lifted a large beam that had splintered away from the wall and fallen on top of her beloved. His bad leg was bent at an odd angle, which would normally cause her stomach to revolt, but she stared at it oddly. It was clearly broken.

  The heavy beam had trapped him beneath its weight across his mid-section, probably crushing his insides. Looking at it now, she was shocked she’d been able to move it at all. She’d read about people finding super-human strength when it came to life-or-death situations. Even the thought of death had her tears welling up all over again.

  “Maybe if I go get help, we can save you.”

  “It won’t matter,” he said, wiping a trickle of blood away from the corner of his mouth. “I’ve already lost too much blood.”

  “It’s all my fault,” her voice wobbled, as reality finally started to set in. “If I had hurried, I would have been here sooner.” She dropped to her knees and lifted his head onto her lap.

  “Shhh, there is nothing you could have done, darling. The beam caused internal bleeding the second it hit. Through sheer will and lots of praying, I did the only thing I cared to do,” he said with tears in his beautiful blue eyes. “I held on until I could see you one more time. I needed to be able to say goodbye.” His voice hitched.

  She lost her battle and wept unabashedly. “Y-You can’t leave me, Joseph. P-Please don’t leave me. We’ve been through so much. I can’t lose you now.” She kept stroking his hair over and over, and touching every inch of his face.

  He reached up weakly and caressed her cheek, running his thumb beneath her eye and wiping away her tears. “You won’t lose me. I will always be with you. We’re one, you and me. Linked together forever with far more than just our physical bodies. You have my heart and soul, and I yours.”

  “This is so unfair.”

  “I know, sweetheart, but I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives since I met you. I honestly don’t think I would have survived if not for you. Your letters kept me going through the war, and then your loving arms became my world since I’ve been home. You’re the only one who understands me, who loves all of me—even the broken parts—without censure. You’re the only one who has succeeded in keeping the nightmares away. Know this, that wherever I go, I am taking you with me, and maybe finally I will be at peace.” He went into a coughing fit, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he fought to hold on and catch his breath.

  She nodded. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay my darling,” she kept repeating over and over through her soft sobs. He was in pain and it broke her heart to see him suffering. “You can go now. I’m here. I’ll be okay. You rest now. I’ll watch over you.”

  His eyes sprang open one last time, and he rasped, “No. You must leave. Everyone will blame you for my death. They are looking for a way to ruin you forever, and if they don’t, then William will. I will never be at peace unless I know you’re safe. I know it will be hard, but dig deep and drag me out to my boat. The water is my home. It always has been.”

  A coughing fit seized him, and she thought she’d lost him. After several minutes, he managed to finish. “I’ve dreamed of being sent off with a burial at sea like sailors from long ago. I should have died in the war anyway. Everyone will think I drowned in the storm. Then I want you to leave and never come back. Vanish without a trace. Change your name and start over someplace new like we planned. I will find you and be with you in spirit. Always. Promise me.”

  She nodded, a fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks. “I promise.” Then she bent over and pressed her lips to his one last time. When she sat back up, Joseph stared at her with lifeless, vacant eyes. His chest lay still, and no more sounds gurgled from his throat.

  He was gone.

  An hour later, after sobbing hysterically and saying her goodbyes, Kathleen knew what she had to do. She’d made Joseph a promise, and she wouldn’t let him down. It took some doing, but she managed to lift him from beneath his arms and slowly drag him toward the winding staircase. Gravity was her friend as she gently slid his lifeless body down the stairs one agonizing step at a time. She couldn’t think about the fact that he was no longer with her. She had to latch onto his last words— he would be with her in spirit always.

  Once she reached the base of the lighthouse, she opened the door. The storm raged outside, matching the storm thundering through her. Without a thought to her own well-being, she dragged him down the cliffsi
de, the drenching rain soaking right through her clothes and chilling her very core with its pelting drops piercing her skin like needles. She welcomed the pain, hoping it would ease the ache she felt on the inside. She managed to lift him over the side of his boat, and the thud as he landed on the deck made her stomach turn.

  Oh, God, she couldn’t do this.

  She fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. “No!” She pounded the ground. “No, damn you! How much more am I supposed to take?” She stared up at the heavens. “Haven’t I suffered enough?” Her shoulders shook and she felt as if she had nothing left to give. What was she supposed to do without him? Where would she go? How would she make it on her own? Maybe she should join him on his boat and leave this world in a blaze of glory with him by her side. Life would be so much easier that way, and they could still be together.

  As soon as she had that thought, she felt a strong presence engulf her in warmth, and a calm peaceful feeling settled over her. Joseph. As promised, she knew he was with her and would be by her side always. He would be so upset if she didn’t carry out his wishes. She knew that with every fiber of her being, and that alone kept her going. She was meant to carry on in this world like she’d promised him. He had given her the strength to make it on her own, and she wouldn’t let him down now.

  Climbing over the boat, she made him as comfortable as possible on the upper deck and kissed his lips that had already cooled. Searching his cabin below, she found some matches and an idea came to her. She would keep Joseph up top and set the fire down below in the cabin. Then turn the boat on and put it in drive, facing the open ocean. That way it would carry him out to sea until the fire burning below engulfed the entire boat and it sank. By then, he would be far enough out, and in the raging storm, no one would see him. They would assume he set sail on his own and got lost at sea in the tempest.

  His mother might assume Kathleen was lost at sea with him, but no one else would know and Kathleen doubted Hilary would want the scandal spreading, so she would never breathe a word. Neither would William. He would rather the town think Kathleen ran away from him, leaving him the poor broken-hearted victim or they might speculate over her vanishing without a trace like his first love had. Kathleen didn’t care what anyone thought. She was done with all of that.

  It was time she started living for herself.

  Striking the match, she set Joseph’s bed on fire and then climbed out of the cuddy cabin to close the door and start the boat. The engine roared to life, but the storm was so loud, no one could possibly have heard. Kissing Joseph’s lips one last time as a single tear fell from her eye to caress his cheek, she said goodbye. “Until Tomorrow, my love.”

  Then she put the boat in gear, and it strained against the rope holding it to the dock. She managed to climb off the boat and untie the rope seconds before it would have brought the whole dock down. The boat took off out to sea, a low light flickering from inside as the fire burned brighter. Kathleen watched for as long as she could, until the boat grew smaller and smaller, and then it finally disappeared into the middle of the raging storm.

  She hugged her arms close as a boom of thunder sounded and lightning streaked across the sky. It was done, and there was no turning back now. Stepping inside the lighthouse, she gathered her meager belongings and left Beacon Bay without looking over her shoulder even once. There was nothing left for her there, and there was only one thing left for her to do.

  Fulfill the rest of her promise.

  18

  Present Day: Beacon Bay, Maine

  “It’s good to be home, don’t you think?” Logan asked Trevor as they unloaded his son’s things from his mother-in-law’s van into the driveway of his house. It was a beautiful, sunny day with a cool ocean breeze. A sign of good things to come, he hoped. He needed something to change, and quickly, because he’d been a downer—as his son had put it—for long enough.

  Logan hadn’t seen or spoken to Emma in two weeks, and it was killing him. There had been nothing left to keep her here since their adventure had stalled at a dead end and he had chickened out on telling her how he really felt. It should be safe to venture around town since Emma would be long gone by now. He frowned. No matter how hard he had tried, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. And the disappointment he felt over the thought of not seeing her again was suffocating him. If avoiding her was supposed to keep his heart from breaking, then why the hell did it hurt so damn much?

  “I always have more fun at camp than here.” Trevor stuck out his lower lip in a major pout.

  “I promise I won’t work all the time until you’re back to school. We’ll do something fun, okay buddy?”

  Suddenly Trevor brightened and started hopping up and down. “Can I go on the rest of your adventure with that nice lady?”

  Logan’s heart did a funny little flip. “I told you that adventure only led to a dead end. It’s over now.”

  “I want to talk to Miss Emma.” Trevor narrowed his shrewd little eyes. “She said she would tell me the whole truth if you were fibbing.”

  “Who says I’m fibbing?” Logan tried to keep a straight face.

  “You’re not telling all those fact things like she said. I can tell.”

  Logan shook his head in wonder. His son was way too smart for his own good. “I told you everything there was to tell about the adventure. The rest of the facts are boring grown-up stuff.”

  Trevor crossed his arms stubbornly. “I still want to talk to Miss Emma.”

  “She’s long gone by now. Sorry, buddy.” Logan crossed his arms, squaring off with his six-year-old.

  “No, she’s not,” his mother-in-law said, coming in on the last part of the conversation but obviously having heard enough. She eyed both of them and rolled her eyes. “And you wonder where he gets it from?” Rebecca shook her head.

  Logan uncrossed his arms but then jolted as her words sank in, and a zing of electricity he couldn’t deny snaked through his stomach. “Wait…Emma’s not gone?” He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. “How do you know?”

  “You may take the fastest most direct way home, but I always take the scenic route along the lake. When you get to be my age, you learn to slow down and appreciate the world spinning by you before it’s too late.” She winked. “I saw Ms. Hendrick’s car still parked at her beach house.”

  “See, Daddy? I was right. Yay! Yay! Yay! We’re going to see Miss Emma.” Trevor raced off as fast as his little legs would carry him. As if seeing Emma would be that easy.

  Meanwhile, all sorts of things ran through Logan’s mind as he stood frozen in shock with no clue what to do. Why was Emma still in Beacon Bay if their adventure was over? Did she discover something new? Or was she waiting for him to come back? Or maybe she’d stuck around long enough to give him a piece of her mind, which would be just like her. He couldn’t stop the tender smile from tipping up the corners of his lips.

  “Don’t you think you’ve punished yourself long enough?” Rebecca said, her eyes so like her daughter’s, shining bright with compassion and understanding.

  “What do you mean?” Logan played dumb, but his mother-in-law was no fool.

  “Trevor’s not the only one to notice you haven’t told us the whole story about a lot of things. You’ve kept so much inside for all these years. Emma Hendricks is the first person since Amanda who has made you smile and open up in ways I was afraid you never would again. She’s good for you. You’ve changed, my boy.” Rebecca reached out and squeezed his hand. “For the better. Don’t be afraid to be happy again, Logan. It’s what Amanda would have wanted.” Rebecca wandered off to take the last of Trevor’s things from out of her car and leave him with his thoughts.

  Could it really be that simple? Logan had to admit he had changed since Emma had come into his life. Did he deserve to be happy? Was it actually possible to move on? He glanced over at his son waiting patiently in his truck, and he knew of only one way to find out. He stowed Trevor’s things in his house and locked the door, the
n said goodbye to his mother-in-law and climbed inside the cab of his truck.

  Trevor stared up at Logan wide-eyed and brimming with hope. “Are we really going to see Miss Emma, Daddy?”

  He had vowed to be as honest with his son as he could from here on out. This time was no exception. “I’m not sure, Buddy. Maybe, but there’s someplace I need to go first.”

  “Where’s that?” Trevor asked, albeit sounding a bit disappointed yet curious.

  “To see Mommy.”

  Logan pulled into the cemetery at the top of a cliff with a beautiful lookout over Beacon Bay. The sun was high in the sky now, the ocean breeze just the right amount, and the seagulls soaring over the docked boats in the harbor below. If you looked to the right, you could see the lighthouse across from the park, and if you looked far enough out, you could see the island where he and Emma had been stranded.

  Just the thought of Emma touched him somewhere deep inside. Yes, his stomach still turned over with anxiety, but the overwhelming excitement she filled him with overpowered that. She challenged him and kept him on his toes and took care of him just as much as he took care of her. She brought joy and fun into his life and made him remember life was about more than paying the bills, putting food on the table, and protecting his loved ones. His son deserved that.

  He deserved that.

  “You ready?” Logan asked Trevor.

  Trevor nodded and grabbed the flowers on the seat between them, hopping out of the truck and skipping to his mother’s grave. Trevor was never sad because he’d never really known what he was missing. Amanda had died when he was just a baby, and Rebecca had stepped in without missing a beat to take her place. They had all tried to make sure Trevor knew who his mother was, and he did. He just never actually knew her.

  That was why visiting her grave had never bothered Trevor. It was just another adventure. But for Logan, it was always sad and painful. Knowing she had willingly left them both had been hard to accept, let alone keep quiet. There were times he had wanted to shout to the world she wasn’t the woman they thought she was. She had stolen Trevor’s right to have a mother in his life, and Logan’s future to grow old with the woman he loved. But just as quickly, he remembered the woman he had fallen in love with wasn’t the same woman who had let her life willingly slip away.