Ever Caring

by Carolyne Aarsen

  Renee watched her go. She closed her eyes and, as she always did, asked God to forgive her. Then she drew in a deep breath, knowing that, in the next couple of days, she had a lot of praying to do.

  But even as she prayed, glimmers of hope flickered in her soul at the repercussions of not leaving Rockyview.

  Was it now possible to think about her and Tate? She knew she hadn’t imagined the shift in their relationship. Her feelings for him grew every time they were together, and she sensed he felt the same. Could she truly explore the possibilities of that now?

  She pushed the questions aside and got back to work. For now, she had to act as if nothing had changed. Tonight she was going to call Freddy. No matter what happened in the next month, she still wanted that lien resolved and off the store.

  Two hours and one quick sandwich later, Renee closed up the store, locking the door behind her, relishing being outside for the first time since noon.

  She slipped her book bag over her shoulder and was about to cross the street to Evangeline’s store, Shelf Awareness, when she heard someone call her name. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Tate’s voice.

  She hadn’t seen or heard from him since Mother’s Day. She knew things were changing between them, but she hardly dared look too far into the future. Once, it seemed so clear. However, in the past couple of weeks, it had grown less distinct.

  “Renee, wait up.”

  She saw Tate striding toward her, briefcase in one hand, blazer bunched in the other. His chin was shadowed by stubble and his hair, usually immaculately groomed, was disheveled. His white button-down shirt, which he had rolled up the sleeves of, was tucked into faded blue jeans that he wore with cowboy boots.

  Her heart did a flip-flop as he came nearer, his casually scruffy look giving him an appealing vulnerability.

  “Hey there,” she said, her voice just a little shakier than usual.

  “Hey, yourself. You done for the day?”

  She nodded, clasping her book bag with both hands as if she needed something solid to cling to. She poked her thumb over her shoulder at Evangeline’s bookstore. “Just heading over to my book club.”

  “What book are you reading?”

  “A mystery that takes place in Nigeria. It was Mia’s choice. She tends to like detective novels and murder mysteries. She has two boys and twin girls, and she’s on her own. Why she’d want to read about murder and mayhem on her time off surprises me.” Renee stopped talking, realizing that her nervousness around Tate was making her babble.

  “What books do you enjoy?” Tate’s smile lit a spark of wonder.

  “I’ve been accused of liking dark and depressing books. Maybe it’s indicative of my personality,” she said with a self-deprecating smile.

  “I wouldn’t say that,” Tate returned, tossing his dark blazer over his shoulder and hooking it with his index finger. He gave her a crooked grin that didn’t help her equilibrium one iota. “Anyone who works in a store so full of glitter and ribbon and color can’t possibly have a dark personality.”

  Renee noted the slight fan of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and the way the sun glinted off his hair.

  “I actually have a reason for accosting you on the street like this,” Tate said, his gaze keeping hers captive. “Tanner Bond invited me to take my horses out on the trails behind his ranch. Thought it would be a good way to give the horses some exercise.” He shrugged. “You said you used to ride, so I thought you might enjoy coming along.”

  The invitation was a surprise.

  “I’m not much of a rider,” she said. “Like I told you, not so much riding as hanging on. And a lot of laughing.”

  “I’m not doing the steeplechase,” Tate retorted.

  Renee paused, thinking of the possibilities. She’d be spending another afternoon with Tate.

  “I thought you might enjoy the ride,” he continued.

  “Don’t you have to work?”

  “I’m taking the afternoon off. With my father’s blessing. Besides, I don’t have such a heavy caseload yet. Still new in town, I guess.” He added a grin that sent her foolish heart into overdrive. “I know that Wednesdays you often have Ashley coming in to help you, so I figured it would be okay to ask.”

  She couldn’t suppress her smile at the thought of spending time with Tate. Alone.

  “She does, so it would work out.” She was done with inventory and didn’t have much else going on. She was fairly sure her mother wouldn’t mind. “Will Addison be coming, as well?”

  Tate shook his head. “No, she’ll be in school. I’ll pick you up at noon, if that’s okay?” Then he pursed his lips. “I forgot—will you need someone to watch your mother?”

  “Ashley is coming, as you said, and I do believe there’s cell phone reception up that mountain.”

  “Right. Sure. Then we’ve both got everything covered.” Tate rocked back on his cowboy boots, then flashed Renee another smile that made her heart skip a beat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” He took a step closer then, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, dropped a light kiss on her mouth.

  Renee leaned into him, then when he drew back, felt the cool air on her heated cheeks.

  “Okay. See you then,” she said, breathless, then turned and stepped out into the street, narrowly missing a collision with a young boy on a bicycle.

  “Hey, watch it, lady,” the boy called out as Renee hurriedly glanced left, then right, then behind her to where Tate was still watching her.

  “You okay?” he called out as she made it to the other side.

  She waved off his concern, then stepped into Evangeline’s bookstore, feeling like a flustered teenager. She was acting like an idiot. Why couldn’t she be all calm and collected?

  Because it had been years since she had allowed any man into her life, past the barriers she’d erected almost nine years ago.

  Evangeline was bagging up the purchases of a man who looked to be in his mid-thirties, sandy-brown hair, pleasant features. He didn’t look familiar, but he was having an animated discussion with her.

  Renee worked her way around the other side of the colorful display of children’s books, interspersed with stuffed animals and building blocks, so she wouldn’t look as if she was eavesdropping.

  The walls of the store were lined with fiction on one side, nonfiction on the other, and between them there were chest-high shelves holding craft books, recipe books, picture books and children’s books.

  Renee paused at the young children’s section. Maybe Addison would like a book, she thought, pulling out a chapter book that was part of a series dealing with girls and horses.

  As she opened the book, Renee allowed her mind to wander. Her and Tate and Addison.

  Her daughter.

  Renee clutched the book against her chest, afraid to allow her hope to fully take root, yet realizing that she and Tate were moving toward something more serious.

  Dear Lord, she prayed. I hardly dare hope. Hardly dare dream. Please help me to trust that You will take me through this all. Help me to know You will watch out for me.

  “You okay?”

  Renee’s head shot up at her friend’s question. She looked around, as if getting her bearings.

  “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “And I’m finally done for the day. I thought Jeff would never leave.”

  “Jeff?”

  “Deptuck. He’s the new fireman in town. He’s been assigned to do a potential-hazard assessment on the stores downtown, especially this bookstore and Mia’s flower shop. Plus, he heard about our book club and wants to join.” Evangeline rolled her eyes. “I think he’s just trying to find a way to make a move on Angie.”

  “You sound jealous.”

  Evangeline waved her comment off.

  “What’s the problem? He’s cute and single,” Renee continued with a grin.

  “Not my type.”

  “Why? Because he doesn’t talk with an English accent? Not too many dukes and lords
around Rockyview, my girl.”

  “No, but Tate is here,” Evangeline said. “Kissing you in broad daylight. Looks like things are getting pretty serious between you two.”

  Renee smiled slightly. She wasn’t sure she wanted the tentative emotions she and Tate were dealing with brought out into the bright light of day.

  But at the same time, having Evangeline to talk to about it helped make it seem more real.

  “We’re taking it one step at a time,” Renee said quietly.

  “Of course. I imagine he’s considering Addison’s needs,” Evangeline said. “Are you thinking of buying that?”

  Renee looked down at the book she was holding and smiled. “I thought I would give it to Addison.”

  “I know she likes horses, just like her dad.”

  “She does. In fact, we are... Tate is taking me riding tomorrow afternoon. At Tanner Bond’s ranch.”

  “Nice.” Evangeline’s expression turned all starry-eyed. “Horseback riding with Tate and no kids. How romantic.”

  “What’s romantic?” Mia Verbeek called out, coming out of the back room of the bookstore, pulling her sweater off and tossing it into a chair Evangeline had set out in a corner. “I hope you’re not talking about the book yet. We’re the only ones here right now.”

  “No. I’m talking about the ride Renee is taking with Tate tomorrow. And I’m talking about the kiss Tate popped on Miss Albertson’s innocent lips just a few moments ago.”

  Mia’s eyes widened, and her mouth fell open. “Really? Tate and our Renee?”

  “It was just a kiss,” Renee said, trying to bring everything back into perspective. If she didn’t dial things down, her friends would have her married off by the end of the evening.

  Mia waggled a finger of denial. “Says the woman who only two weeks ago told us she wasn’t pining for any man, especially not Tate Truscott.” She gave Evangeline a smug look.

  Once again Renee felt a flush warming her cheeks. Seriously, she was reverting to high school.

  “And the blush tells it all,” Mia said with a victorious grin.

  Renee took a breath, then held her hand up. “Please, girls, you have to keep this quiet. Tate has Addison to think of, and it’s not fair if, well, if she thinks something is happening and it isn’t.”

  “Then Tate shouldn’t have kissed you on Main Street.”

  They all laughed, but then Evangeline patted Renee on the shoulder, her expression growing more serious. “We’ll keep it quiet. I promise.” Then she shook her head, her expression growing dreamy again. “This is so great.”

  “Yeah. Maybe you might even have something positive to say about the romance novel Evangeline picked,” Mia added, giving Renee a gentle elbow in the side as they walked to the back of the store.

  “I just might,” Renee returned. “Though I have to admit, it was better than some of the other ones you’ve picked,” she said to Evangeline.

  “Perspective,” her friend said, sweeping her hair back from her face. “It’s all a matter of perspective.”

  Chapter Ten

  “Hold easy there, Bandit.” Tate caught the restive horse’s bridle and held it just long enough to catch his attention. The bay settled and flicked his ears, looking back as if to apologize.

  Tate patted him on the neck, then went back to adjusting the stirrups for Renee.

  He glanced over his shoulder to where Renee stood, chatting with Sabine and Tanner. Her blue jeans looked good on her, as did the gray corduroy shirt and puffy green vest. She wore her hair loose, and a stray breeze tossed it around her face in a halo of golden-brown.

  Renee pushed her hair back with her hand, then she shot him a smiling glance over her shoulder. As always, Tate felt the curious connection between them. More and more, he realized each moment he spent with her cemented his feelings for her.

  Sabine walked over and he looked up.

  “You got Renee’s stirrups adjusted?” Sabine asked.

  “All ready to go,” he said, giving one final tug, just to make sure. Bandit stamped and snorted as Tate’s horse moved closer to him.

  “So you know where to go?” Sabine asked, shifting her baby on her arm and patting Duke, Tate’s palomino.

  “Tanner gave me directions, and I have my cell phone in case I get really lost,” Tate said with a grin.

  Sabine glanced over to Renee, who was talking to Tanner. “I don’t think getting lost with Renee would be such a bad thing,” she said.

  Tate looked over at Renee, who was laughing at something Tanner said.

  Then Renee walked toward him, a vague smile edging her lips.

  “Hey. Got your horse ready to go,” he said. “Do you need a hand getting up?”

  “I’m okay,” she said. Then with one surprisingly agile move she mounted up, settled in the saddle and shook her hair back from her face as she caught up the reins. Bandit shuffled his hooves, snorted again and shook his head, but Renee didn’t seem fazed by his behavior.

  “He’s a good horse,” Tate told her, handing up the halter rope to her. “Just eager to get going.”

  “We’ll get along just fine, won’t we, boy?” Renee said, giving Bandit a couple of pats on the neck. As she straightened, she gave Tate a wide smile. “I’m looking forward to this. I haven’t been riding in so long.”

  “You look pretty natural,” he said, looking up at her, silhouetted against a blue sky edged by the mountains beyond.

  She shrugged off his praise, but her smile told him that she took it to heart.

  “Just so you know, if you get up to the pasture, there’s a fork in the trail that will bring you past an old trapper’s cabin,” Sabine said to Renee. “But if you keep going along the pasture, you’ll find a spot where you get a gorgeous view of the valley. Just keep the Shadow Woman’s mountain on your right and you won’t get lost.”

  “Thanks for the tip,” Renee said. “And thanks again for letting us ride here.”

  “No problem. If you two aren’t back by dark, though, we’ll send a search party.”

  Renee laughed again.

  Tate climbed onto the saddle of his horse. He settled in, then turned to Renee. “Ready?”

  “You have the snacks?” Sabine asked.

  Tate leaned over to check the saddlebag that Sabine had packed for them, and nodded.

  “Have fun,” Sabine said, stepping back as she lifted Courtney to her shoulder, patting the little bundle of baby. Her tiny head wavered a moment, then dropped onto Sabine’s shoulder.

  Tate caught Renee watching them, a rueful expression on her face.

  Was she thinking of the day she’d given Addison away?

  “Have a good time,” Sabine called out as she walked back to the house, still holding her baby close.

  Tate waved, then pulled his horse around, following a well-worn trail leading away from the ranch.

  They rode past the corrals, then a small cabin, then down a well-worn path toward the hills tucked against the mountains.

  He looked back to check on Renee, only to catch her looking at him, her smile lighting up her features.

  “Don’t get us lost,” she said with a laugh.

  “I’ll try not to,” he returned.

  They crossed a wooden bridge, the hooves of the horses beating out a hollow, uneven rhythm, the water bubbling over rocks beneath them.

  They hit the path beyond, and then the trail wound into the tall, shadowy trees. The utter silence of the forest, broken only by the footfalls of the horses on the damp ground, washed over Tate, easing away the busyness of the week. The path was wide enough that he and Renee could ride side by side.

  “I’m so glad you invited me along,” Renee said. “It’s so wonderful to be riding again.”

  “I’m glad you came, too,” he said, looking at her, then at the trail ahead of them, dappled by the sunshine breaking through the canopy of leaves that sheltered them. “This is amazing.”

  Renee looked away from him, leaning to one side as if trying to
see something.

  “Are you looking for something?”

  “I think it’s too early, but from up here you can often see the Shadow Woman that Sabine was talking about.”

  “Shadow Woman? What is that?”

  “It’s a legend. Not sure of the origin. But it’s about a woman who was done wrong by her man and is waiting for him to return. She only shows up like a shadow picture on the mountain when the light is just right.”

  “Where is she?”

  Renee stopped her horse and pointed. “See that rock face? The sheer bluff above the trees to the right of that huge cleft? The shadow is on that rock face. You can just see her coming out. She’s wearing a dress, looking like she’s leaning forward, as if she’s waiting.”

  “Did her love ever come back for her?” Tate asked, resting his arms on the horn of his saddle as he squinted at the rock face.

  “He did, but not right away.”

  “That’s good. I prefer the endings of my story to be happy,” he said, turning to look at her.

  She shrugged then looked away. “That doesn’t always happen.”

  He wondered if she was referring to her own story, but decided to leave it be.

  “When you and Addison went riding, back in Ontario, where would you go?” Renee asked.

  “There were parks with riding paths, but they were nothing like this.” Tate looked behind him at the creek that ran down the hill beside them.

  “Will the horses be okay?”

  “They’re a bit out of shape, but we won’t be riding them hard today. Tanner said it was an easy trail.”

  They rode in silence for a while, climbing higher with every step. Tate’s attention was divided between working with his horse and the welcome distraction of Renee beside him.

  He shot another glance her way, then moved his horse closer. “You were okay with leaving your shop for the afternoon?”

  “To go riding?” Renee motioned to the break in the trees. “Oh, yeah.”