Without A Wolf (A Big Woods Pack Novel Book 1)

by Cara Roman

caller. Kian felt like he was slowly going mad. Of course he knew Lex was

  working on it, and that Emma was as safe as she could be with his family looking

  out for her, but there were never any guarantees in life. He had to work, there

  were deadlines on projects that had to be met. Decker Construction had been

  around for 3 generations, and he couldn't let it fail now. Especially since it was

  starting to feel like it wasn't just temporarily in his hands anymore. Russ had

  been gone for a few weeks now, and as far as Kian knew hadn't bothered to call

  anyone. At what point was he supposed to assume the alpha had left for good?

  At least Cathy was finally becoming bearable to work with. She was probably

  figuring out the same thing he was, that Russ might never come back. Kian didn't

  like the way she nosed into other people's business at all, and he let her know

  that was not the way things would work anymore.

  Tonight the whole family was going to have dinner at his house, hopefully

  Lex had uncovered some information to share with everyone. Kayla was cooking

  them some chili with cornbread muffins. Kian had always loved his family, but the

  way they had banded together to look after his mate meant everything to him.

  None of them had complained once, which really helped his wolf. Kian had to

  change every single day lately to cope with the thought of losing his mate. When he was at the office his wolf spent the whole day ripping his insides to shreds.

  Howling

  home to our mate , over and over again. Being away from her physically

  right now was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. Their mate bond

  was stronger than ever with danger looming over her head. He knew if something

  should happen he would feel it even if they were at opposite ends of the earth.

  As soon as Cathy peeked her head into the office to let him know she was

  leaving for the day he was shutting his computer down. Pretending the stress she

  could feel emaniating off of him was all because of the alpha's absense was

  difficult. Like all shifters Cathy could sense a lie. Kian was always careful of what

  he said to her. As new mates it was widely expected that they would have

  insatiable hunger for each other though, so if she thought he was always eager

  to leave for the day he hoped she chalked it up to horniness. Kian knew one

  thing though, if he didn't start getting to the jobsite more often he was going to

  stagnate in that blasted office. It might work for Russ, but Kian was two decades

  younger and he needed more physicality than staring at a computer screen all

  day. Besides in this day and age with the connectivity available, it shouldn't be a

  problem. Thinking that having another member of the pack come in to help Cathy

  out while he was on site would work Kian locked the office up, and engaged the

  newly installed security system.

  Lex was standing in Kian's front yard when he arrived home. Naturally an

  open person Lex had trained himself through his years on the force to shutter his

  expressions. Right now he wasn't doing a very good job at holding his emotions

  back. Lex's brown eyes were bright silver, glowing in the darkening evening light. Staring off into the trees opposite Kian's home, the tension radiating off of him

  was tangible. Kian's wolf almost tore out of him as soon as he opened the truck

  door.

  "Tamp it down Lex." Kian said. As the second he held more power over his

  friend, although he didn't enjoy using it.

  "I'm trying Deck. Just frustrated. Hell, just give me a few more minutes."

  "Whats got you all riled up Lex?"

  "Nothing." Lex clipped out.

  "Liar. I have too much on my plate right now to figure out what the fuck is up with

  you. Get your shit together. I have been waiting for a progress report, and

  patience isn't something I posess in abundance." Kian said his wolf still

  shredding his insides, as he head to the house. Looking back seeing Lex in the

  same spot was too much for Kian, "NOW!" the order was laced with power that

  Lex was incapable of ignoring.

  Pissed off that he had to pull rank on Lex like that Kian walked straight to

  his mate who was currently setting his big wood kitchen table and kissed her

  hard. Emma didn't fight him at all, she just molded herself to him, allowing him to

  take comfort in her. His wolf finally settling, Kian pulled back to rest his head on

  top of her dark red hair. Taking a deep breath of the tart apple and tasting the

  sweet vanilla of her on his lips Kian felt the tension rachet back to a manageable

  level. "Missed you today baby. What did you do?" Kian asked as he set her down and

  took the chair next to her.

  "Laundry mostly, oh I had Kole pick up the rest of my stuff from the rental on his

  way here too. When this stupid danger passes I can move back in there, but I am

  sick of having half my stuff where I can't get to it, ya know."

  "You don't have to do that. I'd like it if you stayed here. Permanently, with me."

  Kian gave her a lopsided grin as everyone sat around the table, "how did I get so

  lucky?"

  Emma shook her head and stood up and dished out heaping portions of

  the fragrant spicy chili into deep bowls. Kayla passed the plate piled high with

  warm yellow cornbread muffins around.

  "Don't you want to move in with me for good Emma?" Kian asked, his voice

  tinged with fear.

  Looking into his eyes as if he was the only person in the room, "No, Kian, oh

  baby, no, thats not the part that bothered me. I would love to live here with you,

  forever if you wanted." Now Emma looked away, staring down at her food, "but

  I'm the one who got lucky Kian. You all wouldn't have to guard me twenty-four

  seven if I had a wolf like you guys do."

  "He would have us all here even if you had a wolf Emmmmmmmma." Kole said

  around a mouthful of muffin. The rest of the table nodding their heads in

  agreement. Nobody said anything else after that until after dinner was all gone,

  everyone having second helpings of the delicious chili. Needing something to do

  Kian got up to clear the table. While he was loading the dishwasher Kole wet a

  wash cloth and wiped down the counters, stove and table. Lex wandered out and

  with a back slap Kian knew was an apology for earlier started some coffee for

  everyone. Walking back over to the table it hit him anew that these people here

  were his whole world. The rest of the pack mattered to Kian, and he had always

  given his all as their second, but he was positive losing the four people here right

  now would kill him.

  "So, Lex what were you able to find out?" Kian asked after everyone had

  their cup of coffee.

  "OK, the call was made on a burner cell, as far as I can tell only used that one

  time. Probably purchased specifically for anoymity. So, unfortunately I won't be

  able to tell you who the caller was. But I was able to ascertain the phone was

  purchased from a gas station in northern Georgia. I doubt someone drove from

  out of state to buy the phone. So I'm thinking maybe the caller lives in the area.

  You're from there right Emma?"

  "I lived there from 12 to 18, yeah." She nodded.

  "Were any of your foster parents shifters?" Kayla asked.

  "No, none of them. I knew better that so say anyt
hing about it too. That was my

  Dad's number one rule." Emma answered. "What if they don't live in the area, but are only there right now doing some

  digging?" Kole asked.

  "Into her father's disappearance, yeah, that would make sense." Lex nodded.

  "What about her father? Were you able to find anything out about what may have

  happened?" Kian asked Lex.

  "There were no bodies found matching Patrick Lowe's description, but from the

  file on his disappearance it seems the police down there believe he just ran off.

  Since an adult has the right to do that, they didn't do much looking for him. But,

  shit, I'm sorry Emma, there were remains found just across the South Carolina

  border a few years later. The medical examiner estimated male mid 30's, dead

  less than 5 years, but due to the condition of the body that was about it. That

  case is still open."

  "What is it about that particular body that makes you think it could be Emma's

  father?" Kayla asked.

  "Call it a gut feeling. The body had no clothing on it, had been burned before

  being buried deep enough to never surface. The only reason it was even found

  was a new housing development was put in. Every thing was done to make sure

  it wasn't found. Oh, and that development, was miles of deep forest a few years

  prior."

  "Ok, your gut is enough for me Lex. That was probably Emma's father. Why was

  he killed?" Kian asked, his hands steepled in front of him, elbows resting on the table.

  "That's where it got complicated. He didn't leave much of a trail for me to follow

  back. But I did find a Beth Lowe killed in a single vehicle accident up in Vermont

  years prior."

  "Had to have been bad to kill a shifter like her." Kole added.

  With a dirty look in Kole's direction, "it, ah, shit Emma, it was. She went off the

  road into some trees. Apparently the impact was enough to sever her spine,

  internally decapitating her. It would have been instant, but she would have known

  it was coming."

  "It's ok Lex, I don't remember her at all. Don't hold back for fear of hurting my

  feelings. I would really rather be informed than protected." Emma told him.

  "Ok. Weather wasn't a factor, and neither was alcohol. Best they could figure is

  she swerved to avoid something in the road, an animal probably. But to me,

  looking at the pictures in the file it looked like there was a car behind her. The

  back drivers side corner of the vehicle was dented. The investigators who

  handled it noted that was probably from a nearby tree as the car flew off the

  road. There was also a skid mark heading away from the scene. The report said

  the skid mark was probably there prior to the accident and unrelated.."

  "But...." Kian prodded.

  "But to me, it looks like she was run off the road. That is the way I would have

  called it had I been first on the scene. And that patch of burnt rubber on the road, I would bet my badge whoever ran her off the road sped off to avoid being

  spotted." Lex finished.

  "So, we have two dead parents. One run off a road in Vermont, the other buried

  in a former forest just over the Georgia/South Carolina border. How many states

  in between Emma?" Kole asked.

  "I didn't even know about Vermont. I know I started Kindergarden in southern

  California. We headed bit north every year or so until I was 8. Thats when we

  moved clear out to Texas. Dad homeschooled me there for two years. We

  headed over towards Georgia slowly from 10 until I was 12. That's when he put

  me back in public school. When I asked him why he said it was where a young

  woman needed to be." Emma said remembering. "Thats how it is with rogues

  though, they have to move around a lot."

  "Shit baby. You never had a home did you?" Kian said laying his hand on ther

  thigh under the table. "Rogue's just don't belong to a pack. Most of them aren't

  that nomadic."

  "Unless they're running from something. And it seems like her dad was running

  big time. From what though?" Kayla asked.

  "I think I know." Lex said standing up walking to the french doors looking out into

  the dark woods in the back. "Again, there was no maiden name on record, but

  the picture of your mother's on her drivers license in the file looked familiar to me.

  You said your mom was from a pack up north?" "Yeah, but thats all I know. My Dad didn't talk about her much."

  "It was probably too painful. Losing a mate is devastaing to our kind. He would

  have felt the moment of her death. My Mom told me its hard to recover when half

  of you feels like its always missing after that." Kian said referring to his own

  father's death.

  Still staring outside, Lex said into the glass, "I am pretty sure she was my father's

  little sister MaryBeth. She ran away with her mate at 18. They got letters from her

  for the first year. She was blissfully in love with her new mate. My family was

  happy for her. I know why she left, but its going to piss all of you off."

  "That would make you my cousin! I've never had a cousin before." Emma said

  walking over to him and hugging him.

  "You have her hair. She had wild dark red hair too. But her eyes were brown.

  You must get those golden green ones from your Dad." Lex said holding onto

  Emma.

  "I do. He always said he gave me his eyes, but everything else came from his

  Beth."

  Seeing his mate hug another man and crying into his chest wasn't easy for

  Kian's wolf. But he knew she needed to make that connection to a family she

  hadn't known she had. Slightly awed by the fact that his best friend in the world

  and his mate came from the same family tree. Kian smiled a moment for all the

  happiness those two people brought into his life. Lex had been his friend since he could remember, he held him up when he was drowning after the loss of his

  father. And Emma was the other half of his soul. It made strange sense that the

  two people who were so connected to his heart somehow be related. Now that

  he knew they were family he could almost see a resemblance. Remembering

  that Lex said he had more information that he wasn't going to like he cleared his

  throat loudly ruining the happy moment and asked, "And the rest? What is going

  to piss us off?"

  Pushing Emma gently away from him, needing the distance, Lex said

  "Another member of the pack always wanted my Aunt MaryBeth, said she was

  going to be his some day. She never felt the same though, and in the note she

  left explaining why she had to go, she said she knew he wasn't going to accept

  seeing her mated to another man. It would be best for her to leave." Both hands

  in his hair looking at Kian like he was going to lose him for saying this he finished

  it. "That man was your uncle Russ. You've seen how much he doesn't like me,

  right? He was always the same with my old man too. Treats us like we are

  second class pack members. That's why. Shit, I'm sorry Deck, I should have put

  it together sooner, and I didn't."

  Standing up so fast his chair crashed onto the floor Kian roared "ARE YOU

  SAYING MY UNCLE KILLED MY MATE'S PARENTS AND NOW HE WANTS TO

  KILL HER?" Not waiting for an answer Kian stormed out the front door wolf

  ripping out of him as soon as his feet touched the snowy yard. With one last look<
br />
  at the people gathered in his home the dark golden wolf with the black back and

  ears ran off into the forest.

  Chapter 12

  A long agonized howl burst through the air a few minutes after Kian's wolf

  raced off into the night. Emma was up heading out the door as the haunting

  notes faded. With a hand on her arm and a shake of his head Kole stopped her.

  He was probably right, Kian needed to deal. It wasn't as if Emma could shift to

  follow him, and the last thing he needed right now was his mate wandering into

  the dark forest after him. There was also still a threat against her life that she had

  momentarily forgotten. Kian would never forgive her if she was to put herself in

  danger like that. Covering Kole's hand on her arm with her own she gave it a

  squeeze to thank him for his wisdom.

  Not ready to face the harsh light Lex shed on her history Emma muttered

  she needed a shower and walked up stairs to the room she was sharing with

  Kian. His master bathroom was made for unwinding from stress, and Emma

  wished she could hide out in there all night. With a look of longing towards the

  large bathtub she walked past to the shower in the corner. It was all stone tile

  with a glass door. Not surprisingly, modesty was not the main priority when Kian

  built it, he hadn't gone for frosted glass. Nudity was more accepted with shifters

  than in human society. Reaching in and turning the water on so it could warm up

  first, Emma walked over to the counter. Staring at herself in the mirror Emma let herself remember the picture of her mom that she had stared at so many times

  growing up. She looked so much like her. Aside from her eyes the rest was

  mostly the same. Wondering if that had anything to do with why another Decker

  man had fallen for that face. Shaking her head hoping to rid herself of all the

  doubts swirling inside of it, Emma stripped her clothes off and set them neatly

  into the hamper in the corner.

  The water was steaming hot when she stepping into the stream. Emma let

  it run over her head, the first of her tears mingling with it. Unable to hold the tide

  back any longer she sank down in the corner bringing her knees up against her

  chest, and sobbed. Murdered. Both of her parents had been murdered. Her Mom

  hadn't died in some accident of fate, she was forced off that damn road in