17 Church Row

by James Carol

  Ethan glanced at the screen again, frowning. ‘Alice, did this monitor come on?’

  ‘No, it didn’t, Ethan.’

  ‘It did,’ Nikki said. ‘Alice must be wrong.’

  ‘There’s no mistake, Nikki. One of my functions is to monitor all the electronic equipment in the house. I turned the living room screen off at 10.37 when you went to bed. It hasn’t been on since then.’

  Nikki turned to Ethan, her own frown turning to a look of pure confusion. ‘It came on, I swear it. Why won’t you believe me?’

  ‘This isn’t about believing you or not.’ He stopped talking and smiled reassuringly. ‘Look, Nik, even if the screen did come on, why would Grace be on there? And on fire?’ He made a face and shook his head. ‘You must have had a nightmare. That’s the only explanation that makes sense.’

  Put like that, she had to admit that he had a point. She glanced at the screen. It was as dark as it had been when she had settled down to go to sleep.

  ‘You’ve got to admit that you’ve been under a lot of stress lately,’ he added, ‘what with the house move and everything. You haven’t been sleeping, either.’

  ‘That’s because I keep dreaming that Grace is singing to me,’ she said quietly.

  ‘And now you’ve had a nightmare about Grace.’ He paused. ‘Look, I know you feel guilty about moving here, but it really is for the best. We were just treading water at the old house. We owe it to Bella to start living again. We owe it to ourselves.’

  ‘I know. You’re right.’

  Ethan opened his arms and she slid between them. One look at him and it was clear that she wasn’t the only one who would struggle to get any more sleep tonight. ‘I’m sorry I woke you.’

  Ethan hugged her a little harder and kissed the top of her head. ‘Hey, don’t sweat it.’

  ‘But you’ve got to be up at four.’

  ‘I’ll drink plenty of coffee.’ A pause, then, ‘You used to have some really bad nightmares, remember?’

  She did. It wasn’t the sort of thing she was likely to forget. They’d started after the accident, full-on widescreen horror movies, with an audience of one and deafening surround sound. But this had been different. This had been real. Even as she was having this thought, she was beginning to doubt herself. Had it just been a bad dream? At that moment she wasn’t sure of anything.

  ‘You’re still taking your anti-anxiety medication, aren’t you? That helped with the nightmares before.’

  ‘Yeah, I’m still taking it, but I reduced the dose about seven or eight months ago. I think I’ll look into upping it again.’

  ‘You know, maybe you should book a couple of sessions with Dr Richardson. Talking to her might help and it can’t do any harm.’

  ‘That’s not a bad idea. I’ll do that.’

  ‘Why are you sleeping on the sofa, anyway?’

  ‘I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep and didn’t want to disturb you.’ Nikki picked up her phone from the coffee table and thumbed it to life. ‘Shit, it’s almost three.’

  ‘That late, huh?’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Apologise again and we’re going to fall out.’ Ethan smiled, waited for her to smile back, then kissed the tip of her nose. ‘What do you say we head back to bed, eh?’

  ‘It’s okay, I’ll sleep here.’

  Ethan shook his head and let loose with a small laugh. ‘There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on your own, Nik. Not after that nightmare you’ve just had.’

  He held out his hand and waited for her to take it. She didn’t need much persuasion. They walked out of the lounge together, the door sliding shut behind them. With each step the grip of what had happened seemed to loosen, and by the time she climbed into bed she was almost ready to accept that Ethan was right and that it had been a nightmare. He opened his arms to her and she snuggled in close. They fitted together perfectly, just as they had done from the very start, as though they were the missing pieces of each others’ puzzles. His breath tickled her ear and she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. But even as she closed her eyes, she knew that she was done with sleeping for tonight.

  Chapter 14

  The Rhodes’ bedroom light went out and the laptop screen turned black, plunging the bedroom into darkness. Catriona Fisher tapped the trackpad quickly to access the desktop, anxious to find a light source. Anything would do. The dark had always terrified her, ever since she was a little girl and her father had locked her in a cupboard as a punishment. She couldn’t remember what she had done to earn this – probably nothing – but she clearly remembered the absolute terror she had experienced. She had convinced herself that she was going to be locked in that small dark space until she died. It didn’t matter how hard she screamed, no one had come to free her.

  For a moment Catriona just sat there with her back against the headboard, reminding herself that she wasn’t that child anymore. Her father had been loving when he was at his best, unpredictable at his worst. From time to time he would get what he called his Dark Days. When that happened, he would either disappear to his bedroom for days on end or he would drink. The drinking was worse because his behaviour became erratic. The Dark Days happened more frequently when she hit her teens. That was when he would sometimes call her by her mother’s name. He never blamed her out loud for her mother leaving, but she knew that he blamed her in his heart. It had been years since she’d last seen or spoken to him. For all she knew, he might be dead.

  A lot of people would have been destroyed by the sort of childhood that she’d had. Catriona had turned it to her advantage. She had spent her whole life proving that she wasn’t like her parents, and she’d done that by striving to be successful. Inevitably, that had meant being ruthless at times, but that was something she could live with.

  And she had been successful, but not quite successful enough. However much she achieved, there was always going to be something else to strive for. Another mountain to climb, another glass ceiling to break through. That was why the Church Row house was so important. Until now her success had been too parochial; she needed something that would get her noticed on the world stage. A small part of her realised that even that probably wouldn’t be enough, but for a short while, at any rate, it would be enough to shut that voice up.

  Catriona had been sleeping when the alarm had gone off on her phone, alerting her that something was going on at the house. Still half asleep, she had grabbed her laptop from the bedside table and booted it up and watched as Ethan consoled Nikki after a nightmare. Catriona was starting to wonder if she had made a mistake by choosing the Rhodes’. She had known about Grace – the accident had been all over the news. What she hadn’t anticipated was that, even now, Nikki would be so affected by her death. The worst-case scenario was that Nikki might kill herself and that was the sort of publicity that she really didn’t need.

  ‘Alice, I need you to monitor Nikki closely. Particularly when she’s in the house on her own.’

  ‘Of course, Ms Fisher.’

  ‘Actually, if she’s in the house on her own, alert me straight away.’

  ‘Of course.’

  A pause. ‘Do you know where the Rhodes’ keep their medicines?’

  ‘I believe they keep them in a box in their bathroom.’

  ‘And there are no cameras in the bathrooms.’ Catriona sighed. ‘Okay, if she goes into the bathroom and she seems upset, then you must contact me immediately. Do you understand?’

  ‘I understand.’

  Catriona closed her computer down and put it back onto the nightstand. Sleep was a long time coming because her mind was turning too fast. To take things to the next level she needed money. Yes, she had made a tidy profit from the sale of 17 Church Row, but she needed more. Implementing phase two of her plan was going to take serious money, money that she simply didn’t have.

  As she was drifting off, she started thinking again about the idea that Nikki could kill herself over the death of her dead daughter. If she
was capable of that, then what might she sacrifice to protect Bella?

  Chapter 15

  Alice had a coffee ready and waiting when Nikki walked bleary-eyed into the kitchen. As she’d thought, she had still been awake at four when Ethan had got up to go to work . . . and she had still been awake two hours later when the clock on her phone hit six. That was the point when she had finally admitted defeat and got up. This was the third night in a row that she hadn’t slept properly and the level of tiredness she was currently operating at was one that she would usually associate with long-haul flights or babies. When she was tired like this it made her anxiety levels so much higher, which increased the chance of having a full blown panic attack.

  Nikki picked up her mug and took a sip. Caffeine wasn’t necessarily a good idea since it elevated her heart rate, but without it she doubted she would make it through the day. She took another sip then padded out of the kitchen, heading towards the far end of the house to get Bella ready. School mornings were traumatic enough at the best of times, but she was gearing herself up for today being worse than usual. On the whole, Bella had dealt well with the move. The only problem was that her sleep pattern had gone out of whack. According to Alice, Bella had still been awake way past midnight on her first two nights here.

  ‘Alice,’ Nikki called out, ‘what time did Bella eventually go to sleep last night?’

  ‘Just before midnight.’

  Which was a step in the right direction, just not a big enough one. Bella struggled when she didn’t get enough sleep. It made her cranky and bad-tempered. That was one thing they had in common.

  ‘Is she still asleep now?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Nikki asked, surprised.

  ‘I’m sure, Nikki. She’s in her garden. I opened the door for her nine minutes ago.’

  Nikki laughed. ‘Exactly nine minutes ago?’

  ‘It was actually nine minutes and thirty-two seconds.’

  ‘Alice, I was joking with you.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Nikki. I didn’t understand the joke.’

  Nikki shook her head and carried on walking. Having spent the weekend here, she was starting to appreciate what Catriona Fisher meant when she said that Alice was in a different league to Alexa. On a couple of occassions she had almost forgotten that she was talking to a computer program. That said, moments like this reminded her that, when all was said and done, that was exactly what Alice was, albeit a very sophisticated one.

  Bella’s door slid open and Nikki walked in. The bed was empty, the duvet and pillows strewn everywhere as though she had been wrestling bears in her sleep. The patio doors were wide open and it looked like it was going to be a glorious day. June had given away to July and they had the whole summer stretching out in front of them. This had always been her favourite time of the year. Nikki put her mug down on the desk and walked out into the garden. Bella was over by the pond with her back turned towards her. As Nikki got closer, she heard the little mewling sounds Bella made when she was crying. She followed Bella’s gaze. All three of the Koi carp were floating on the surface of the pond, their colourful skins dulled by death and tattooed by the shadow lines created by the safety grille. Nikki swooped in and, wrapping an arm around Bella, led her back inside and sat her down on the bed.

  ‘Don’t worry sweetheart. We can get you more fish.’

  Bella shook her head, her face filled with sadness.

  ‘You don’t want more fish?’

  Bella shook her head again and snatched her tablet off of the nightstand. She switched it on and started jabbing at the screen. All Nikki could do was watch and resist the temptation to talk for her. Not being able to get her words out was frustrating enough for Bella. If she felt pressurised it would just make things ten times worse.

  ‘I want those fish.’

  The bland voice coming from the tablet was completely inadequate for the complex emotions that Bella was experiencing. It was Nikki’s turn to shake her head. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you can’t. They’re dead.’

  ‘I don’t want them to be dead.’

  Nikki didn’t have anything to say to that. This was one of those things hidden away in the small print when you signed up to become a parent: sometimes you won’t be able to wave a magic wand and make everything better. Bella was jabbing at her tablet again.

  ‘Why did they have to die?’

  That was a good question, one that she had a theory for. Ethan had already had to talk to Bella about overfeeding the fish. When he’d brought the subject up, Bella had told him that she had given them extra food because they looked hungry. Nikki wasn’t going to mention this, though. Bella was feeling bad enough. There was absolutely nothing to be gained by blaming her. No, the best plan was to tread warily and navigate this as though she was walking through a minefield. Bella would calm down eventually, and when that happened she would buy her more fish, something less high-maintenance than Koi carp, and this time she would help her to look after them. She should have done that with these ones, but she had been too preoccupied with the move.

  ‘Koi Carp are very difficult to look after, sweetheart. Even people who have had them for years find it difficult.’

  Bella stared up at Nikki then wiped her eyes and started typing again. ‘Why does everything I love have to die?’

  Nikki had nothing to say to that one either. This was one situation where showing her The Lion King so she could gain an appreciation of the circle of life just wasn’t going to cut it. ‘Do you want to go to school today?’ she asked, changing the subject.

  Bella shook her head.

  ‘Okay, you can stay home.’

  ‘Can we do something together?’

  ‘Of course we can. That would be fun. What have you got in mind?’

  ‘Cinema.’

  ‘We’ve got our own cinema room now. Let’s do something else. How about bowling?’

  Bella answered with an enthusiastic nod.

  ‘Bowling it is, then. I’ve got a few things I want to do here this morning, but we can go after lunch. Actually, why don’t we go out for lunch? Make a nice girly day of it?’

  ‘No boys allowed.’

  ‘No boys,’ Nikki agreed.

  She stood up and, taking Bella’s hand, led her out of the bedroom. They both glanced back when they reached the door. From this angle Nikki could just see the fish floating on top of the pond. Bella was too small to see them, but that was just a detail. No doubt she would still be seeing them in her imagination, probably for days to come. Getting rid of the dead fish was one of the first things she needed to do once she’d got Bella settled. Out of sight, out of mind. As though Alice was reading her thoughts, the patio doors began slowly closing, blocking off the view of the pond. Nikki took Bella’s hand and led her out into the corridor, and a second later the bedroom door slid silently closed too.

  Chapter 16

  ‘Sofia is at the main gate,’ Alice said. ‘Should I let her in?’

  ‘Of course you should,’ Nikki replied. ‘And in future, you don’t need to ask. Sofia is one of the family.’

  ‘Okay, Nikki, I won’t ask again.’

  Nikki stood up and walked through the house to meet Sofia. The front door was already open when she got there. Sofia was walking across the courtyard, a Tesco carrier bag in her hand. Today she had little red studs in her ears. She stopped by the front door and gave Nikki a hug.

  ‘You look tired. Didn’t you sleep?’

  ‘Not as much as I’d have liked.’

  Sofia took a step back so she could appraise her properly. ‘You need to look after yourself. You know how it makes you more anxious when you don’t get enough sleep.’

  ‘I’ll be fine. It’s just the stress of the move. My sleep pattern should sort itself out again soon.’

  They went inside and the door closed gently behind them. Sofia glanced over her shoulder, frowning. ‘It’s not right that there’s no handle.’

  Nikki smiled. ‘You’d
be surprised how quickly you get used to it.’

  ‘But what if there’s a fire?’

  ‘Alice has systems in place to deal with that. The room where the fire is gets sealed off and all the other doors automatically open.’

  ‘So you’re happy to put your hands in the life of a computer?’ Sofia shook her head again. ‘I’m not sure I could do that.’

  Nikki didn’t point out that she did exactly that, all the time. Riding the tube; travelling on the roads; crossing at a pedestrian crossing. Hell, every time she flew back to Spain to see her family it was the autopilot that did most of the actual flying. There was nothing to be gained from telling her this, though. Sofia wasn’t old, but when it came to technology she was set in her ways. As far as she was concerned mobile phones were a curse rather than a blessing. That didn’t stop her from owning one, though. Ditto a laptop.

  ‘You know,’ Sofia went on. ‘I still haven’t forgiven it for locking me in the bathroom.’

  ‘She did not lock you in the bathroom.’

  ‘It did.’

  ‘I can assure you it wasn’t like that. Ethan spoke to the person who designed the house’s systems. Seemingly it was some sort of glitch. You’ll be glad to hear that it’s all sorted out, and it won’t happen again.’

  Sofia answered with a ‘Humph’, clearly unconvinced.

  ‘May I take your coat, Sofia?’ Alice asked.

  A coat rail had appeared from its hidden cupboard in the wall. Sofia stared suspiciously at it for second then shook her head again. ‘No, I’ll keep hold of it.’

  ‘As you wish.’

  Alice’s words were saying one thing, but her tone was saying something else. The last line had been delivered with the eye roll and ‘whatever’ of a petulant teenager, which was surely her imagination. But Nikki had found herself anthropomorphising Alice more than once over the weekend. It was easily done. The way she talked, there were occasions where it was possible to forget she was a machine.

  Sofia held up the carrier bag. ‘I’m going to make paella for your dinner. I know it’s Bella’s favourite.’