Just Joshing: A BBW Romantic Comedy (Short and Sweet Series Book 1)

by Evie Mitchell

  "Yes! A badass business woman verses a down-on-his-luck baker. Who will come out on top?"

  "We end with the bakery and chocolatier combining and-"

  "Chocolate hot cross buns!" Molly clapped her hands together.

  "You, Pecas, read my mind."

  We beamed at each other from across the table.

  "So, about that dat-"

  The airhorn blew, interrupting our moment. Lolly waved from the table she stood on, getting the crowds attention.

  "We now have round two. Those seated on this side," she waved at our section. "Go and take a seat at the table of those seated on this side." She waved at the other side of the room.

  "As for the rest of you, stay where you are. We're starting round two and then you get to decide who will be your final date! Don't forget to grab your new clipboards from the registration table. We'll begin in five minutes." She made a little fist pump action, yelling, "Let's get Speedy!"

  "Oh Lordy," Molly stood, looking strained once more. "This is what I imagine hell to be."

  "No, Pecas. Hell is less painful."

  She chuckled, heading off to the registration table.

  The next round went much like the first. A few crazies, some desperados, a couple of women that I would have dated in another life if not for Molly.

  The final horn sounded and I handed in my paper – the only name I cared about gracing my preference sheet.

  Make this count.

  Chapter Nine

  Molly

  I don't know what horrible acts I'd done in a previous life but tonight was definitely my punishment. If these were the best of the single men of New York, then sign me up to become a nun – I was done.

  Joshua Greenfeld

  I wrote his name down, handing it into Lolly. She gave me a massive smile.

  "It'll take me just three minutes to process these and I'll have your partner ready to go." She placed my sheet on the growing pile. Librarian handed over her list.

  "Loretta, I expect to be paired with my number one this time. Otherwise, I will be leaving that review."

  Lolly's smile turned brittle. "Elena, as I've explained before, the final dates rely on mutual pairings. If your interest doesn't feel the same connection, I can't pair you. I can't force anything. But, if you like, I can work with you separately to-"

  "No," Elena tapped her list. "I expect you to pair me." She turned on her heels, making a beeline for the toilets.

  "Gee," I lifted an eyebrow at Lolly. "She seems fun."

  Lolly sighed, looking down at the list. "She's been to thirteen of these events. Comes on too strong. I believe, firmly believe, there is someone for everyone. But somedays…" Lolly looked up, shaking off her pessimistic attitude. "It's just a matter of time, right? Maybe tonight's the night."

  "Maybe," I offered, forcing a smile. I felt strangely unsettled by Lolly's lack of winking.

  Imagine that.

  I made for the bar, searching out Josh's familiar hair. He stood off to the side, two glasses before him.

  "Is this for me?" I asked, reaching for the first.

  "Yeah, it's not your brew but it's not bad."

  I downed the whiskey in one hit.

  "Damn, girl." He grinned, holding up a hand for the barman. "Bad night?"

  "If your experience was even half as bad as mine, you too would be contemplating celibacy."

  "Nah," Josh leaned into me, comfortably resting his hip against mine. "I can't stand collars. And while black is a good look on me, I'm not into robes either."

  I sniggered, watching the barman pour me another glass. "Your mother would be happy though."

  "Priesthood or grandkids. They're my only two options."

  I raised an eyebrow, "what if you were gay?"

  "Again, priesthood or grandkids. She doesn't care if grandkids come from a wife, a surrogate or adoption. She just wants me to be happy."

  "And fruitful."

  "That too."

  We both chuckled. I ran a finger over the side of the glass, feeling strangely at ease with the silence between us.

  The airhorn blew, Lolly holding up a clipboard. "We have our pairings!"

  She quickly began to read them out.

  My tongue felt too big for my mouth. My palms and pits were sweaty and I could the pulse in my neck as Lolly called forward the couples then sent them on their way.

  Josh reached out, intertwining his fingers with mine.

  "Don't sweat it. I put you down." He gave my fingers a tight squeeze. "It'll be the date we tell our ki-"

  "Joshua Greenfeld." Lolly interrupted.

  "Wait. What?" Josh blinked, his gorgeous eyes looking startled as he stared at the woman smiling triumphantly at him.

  "Uh, there's been a mistake." Josh called, looking from his date – Librarian Elena – and back to me. He turned to Lolly. "I didn't put Elena down."

  Lolly's smile remained in place but looked a little brittle. "Yes, you did. We never get our pairings wrong!"

  "No, I-"

  "Josh," I whispered, seeing the embarrassed flush creep across Elena's face, her smile fading. "Just take her for a drink."

  He looked from me to Elena and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "This is not how tonight was meant to go." He squeezed my hand once more before heading to Elena.

  I waited for my name to be called, watching the couples' pair-up, feeling something settle in my gut that was at once both achingly familiar and strangely new.

  I wanted the date with Josh.

  I struggled to put a name to the feeling – it felt like a mix of resigned melancholy and blossoming hope. The familiar ache of wanting someone who I had little chance with, had settled deep in my gut. But the lump had merged with the hope that maybe, just maybe, he wanted me too.

  Josh and Molly sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-

  "Hey, looks like we're paired up." Eyepatch wearing Syd interrupted my musing.

  I offered him a weak smile, "looks like it."

  "Don't worry," he grinned. "You weren't first on my list either. I know this is just a casual drink."

  I blinked, a genuine smile now lifting my lips. "Oh really? And pray, tell. Where did I sit on your list?"

  "Sixth. But that's only because you're obviously into Mister Tall Dark and Handsome. I'm not normally inclined to go for guys but even I have to admit to being bi-curious if it involved him." Syd jerked his head at the bar, where Josh and Elena stood.

  I pressed hands to my cheeks, feeling the warm flush of embarrassment. "Am I that obvious?"

  "You?" Syd chuckled, "nah. Him? Oh, yeah."

  "Wait. What?"

  "Oh man, you didn't know?" Syd threw back his head, laughing uproariously. He calmed down a moment later, grinning and wagging his eyebrows. "The guy has it baaaaad. Practically salivating over you. After this, you should throw him a bone, let him take you out some time."

  I glanced back at the bar, looking at Josh with new eyes. "Huh," I shook my head, turning back to Syd. "So, who was your top pick?"

  "Elena."

  "Her?" I snapped my mouth shut, immediately embarrassed. "I mean… I'm sure she's nice."

  "She's not." Syd grinned, looking back over at the bar. Elena had taken the seat beside Josh, her hand rested on his arm, her body tilted towards his. "She's a complete bitch. Wants kids and marriage in the space of a year. Comes on too strong, cuts you dead if you say one wrong thing. She's uncompromising, cold and has absolutely no game."

  "Sounds… delightful?"

  He chuckled, turning back to me. "She's the only reason I come to these things. She wants everything I do, and the bonus is I get her. Her body is banging – even if she looks like a schoolmarm. One day she'll see me as a viable partner, and then I'm taking her to bed until she lets down those walls." His eye gleamed. "I can't fucking wait."

  "I…" I had no words. "Good luck, I guess?"

  "You wanna go double date with them? You get your time in with lover-boy, I'll drive Elena crazy. Win-win."
r />   I tilted my head, considering his proposal. "It'd be rude to interrupt, right?"

  He jerked his head at the couple. "She's about to go stage-five-clinger on his ass. No. We're doing him a favor."

  I chuckled. "Fine, lead on."

  He led me to the bar, grinning as Elena clocked us, her face darkening as Syd bounded to her side.

  "We've decided to double date." He declared, signaling the barman.

  "Excuse me?" Elena shifted on her stool, looking from me to Syd and back. "Is this a joke?"

  "Psh, nah. We're good." Syd answered as the barman arrived. "A jack and coke and," he nodded at me.

  "Just a coke, thanks." I answered, awkwardly hovering.

  Josh pulled out a stool, gesturing for me to sit. I perched on the rickety stool, slightly concerned at the wobble.

  "So, Josh." Elena turned back to him, a forced smile pasted on her face. "Do you own your own home or rent?"

  Josh's beautiful dark whiskey eyes flicked to me. "I own."

  "Mortgage?"

  "No," He didn't elaborate. The barman slid a glass before me.

  "I also own." Syd inserted himself into the conversation. "But the bank says I have a few years left to pay off."

  "Is it an apartment or townhouse?" Elena steadfastly ignored Syd, her grin how entirely too toothy and brittle for my comfort.

  "Well, I have an apartment on the East-"

  "Oh, that's a shame." She sat back, shaking her head. "Apartment's just aren't good for raising a family. No room to run around." She fiddled with her straw. "Have you thought about selling? Moving to a townhouse or perhaps leaving the city for somewhere with more room?"

  "Leaving the ci-? No." Josh shook his head.

  "I have a townhouse." Syd interrupted again, leaning closer to Elena. "Even has a car spot – not that I use it - and little courtyard garden. Picked it up for a song, flipped it over. Three bedrooms, one point five bath. I'm not planning on being there long-term though. Gonna sell it after I get married, move to the suburbs, settle down to have three kids. Want 'em to have a yard, a dog. Good clean air."

  Elena's head slowly turned toward Syd, here eyebrows lifting. "And what do you do exactly to make this amount of money?"

  Syd grinned. "IT, baby. The military paid for my education, but I've been out for a while now. Set up my own company. We build apps." He shrugged. "I can build them from anywhere in the country. I figured New York was a good place to start, then move on after."

  "Not Silicon Valley?" Josh asked.

  "Nah. Big businesses are here and in Washington. The majority of my clients are within walking distance from my house."

  "Huh," Josh nodded. "Makes sense."

  "You own your own business?" Elena asked, her body moving closer to Syd. I glanced at Josh, catching his grin.

  "I do." Syd reached in his pocket, pulling out business cards. "See?"

  She took one as he handed them out to us, lifting the slick black card to the light. Syd jerked his head at Josh, sending him a questioning look. Josh shifted, making room for Syd at the bar, letting him settle into the seat across from Elena.

  "You didn’t put that on your questionnaire." Elena frowned, tucking the business card into her handbag.

  Josh's hand settle on my back. I looked up, catching his wiggling eyebrows. He tilted his head towards the door. I nodded, quietly picking up my purse from the bar and slipping off my chair.

  "The questionnaires are bullshit. Who writes what they're really like on there?" Syd replied as Josh and I started creeping away.

  "I do."

  "Of course you do, baby. You're transparent. You lay it all out. It's what I like most about you."

  Elena's reply got lost in the noise of the bar as Josh and I shuffled towards the exit. He reached the door, holding it open, chuckling at our escape.

  "Well that was the weirdest evening I've had in a while." I laughed, pulling on my coat. My breath misted in the cool night air and I shivered, pulling mittens from my pocket.

  "Really? It's not that cold."

  I shushed Josh, grinning as I pulled them on. "You know I'm really a cold-blooded lizard person. I think there was a movie you once made that examined my origins."

  He groaned, slinging an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. We began to walk, where I had no idea.

  "I completely forgot about those home movies. I wonder if we still have them around somewhere."

  I tilted my head back, looking up at him. "We should dig them out. Bess and Pete are in a few of those. We could do a montage for their wedding."

  "Good idea. They're probably all at the summer house."

  "I could spare a weekend away." I grinned. "This lizard wouldn't mind warming up on the beach."

  "I'm sure I could find you a bedroom somewhere."

  We both grinned. The Greenfeld summer house held prime beach-front position on Palm Beach. I'd spent many fabulous days vacationing in the eight bedroom "modest" home. The yard held a swimming pool, manicured lawns, and a tennis court. The grounds were perfectly manicured and the beach always warm. Josh and Sam had roped us in from a young age, Pete and myself starring along with the neighborhood kids in whatever new adventure movie they'd written.

  "When do you want to go?" He asked, steering us around a pile of trash.

  "I'll check my calendar. Can I call you tomorrow?"

  He nodded, guiding me down an alleyway.

  I glanced around, frowning. "Where are we going?"

  "You'll see."

  I arched an eyebrow. "Should I be concerned? This is how scary movies start."

  Josh chuckled, "with speed dating followed by a quick escape?"

  "With a hot guy leading a young, innocent to her death."

  "I'm a hot guy, hey?"

  I dug my elbow into his stomach, laughing at his exaggerated reaction. "Hot guys can be serial killers."

  "You watch too much true crime."

  "True. But at least I know how to stay sexy and not get murdered."

  The alleyway exited onto another street. We walked a few blocks before reaching the end of a row of brownstones not far from Central Park.

  "Where are we?" I asked, laughing.

  Josh dropped his arm, shooting me a wink as he opened a little metal gate, gesturing for me to follow him up a small curved set of stairs to the stoop. He opened the double doors, holding them open. I entered the building blinking at the beauty before me.

  The entrance opened to 13-ft ceilings and ornate plaster moldings, a parlor sat on one side of the entry, a small coat room under a set of stairs took up half the hall. He led me through the rooms, pointing out the cherry wood flooring, tile inlays, the wainscoting, the original stain glassed windows.

  "Do you like it?"

  My heart warmed and I felt a strange sense of contentment as we walked through the home.

  "It's beautiful. How many floors?"

  "It's five floors, but has a subfloor with a screening room, so technically six." He shot me a grin over his shoulder. "I was on the fence but that really weighs in the plus column."

  "Are you renting this?" I ran fingers along the wood railing, following Josh up the stairs.

  "At the moment. I wanted to try before I buy."

  There was an elevator which we both ignored as he led me through the beautiful home.

  "This door leads to the master bed, but this is what I want to show you." He grinned, pulling open a door and gesturing for me to proceed him.

  I walked through, gasping as my eyes adjusted to the dim light. I walked to the middle of the room, taking in the gorgeous features.

  “So, what do you think?”

  I closed my eyes, breathing deeply through my nose, taking it all in.

  "You don't like it?" He asked softly.

  "Shhh," I replied, eyes still closed. "I'm smelling it."

  "What?"

  I opened my eyes, shooting him a large grin. "Libraries have a distinctive smell. And this?" I waved a hand around the room. "This is
some beauty and the beast level foreplay."

  The library was done in wood and plaster. The herringbone wood floors were covered by thick beautiful rugs with comfortable chairs, positioned just so, by the windows and fireplace. The giant picture windows had window seats built into their curve, pillows and a throw strewn about inviting you to sit awhile.

  This was my dream library, in my dream home.

  "What happened to your one-bedroom apartment?" He'd bought it when he'd first left home, letting Sam crash on the couch after my parents tried to force Sam to return to the family business.

  "It's time to upgrade. I love Brooklyn but I need a place to entertain execs."

  I ran fingers across the spines of the books, smiling as I recognized the classics in hardcover. "Are you going to buy it?"

  "I wanted a second opinion."

  "Don't." I sent him a saucy grin over my shoulder. "I want it."

  He laughed and a spark of… awareness? Warmth? Heat? Lit deep in my belly. I pushed it away, wrapping fingers around the ladder for the book case. "I can't believe you have a library with a ladder." I glanced over at him, putting one foot to the bottom rung. "You really have chosen the wrong woman for this job. You show me a library and I immediately lose all impartiality."

  He laughed, walking over, holding the ladder while I climbed. "You're going to do a swish, aren’t you?"

  "Oh, yes."

  I snagged a random book off the shelf and then pushed off, humming the beauty and the beast theme song as the ladder gently rolled across the floor.

  "This is such a cliché." Josh muttered, watching me with a smile.

  I winked, still humming, one arm outstretched, the other clutching a rung.

  "You need me to be Beast?" Josh raised his hands, pretending to snarl.

  "Oh, how scary you are." I threw a hand over my head, pretending to cower. "Don't eat me."

  Josh snatched me, lifting me off the ladder to place me on the floor. He pressed me back against the rungs, hands settling on my hips. My heart fluttered and I looked up, seeing him considering me, his eyes shadowed.

  "Do you want the truth or the mask?" He whispered. His thumb slipped under my shirt, brushing the skin at my hip. I shivered at his touch, goosebumps breaking out across my skin.