The Mirror of Kong Ho

by Ernest Bramah

  LETTER X

  Concerning the authority of this high official, Sir Philip. The side-slipperyness of barbarian etiquette. The hurl- headlong sportiveness and that achieving its end by means of curved mallets.

  VENERATED SIRE,--If this person's memory is accurately poised on thedetail, he was compelled to abandon his former letter (when on the pointof describing the customs of these outer places), in order to take partin a philosophical discussion with some of the venerable sages of theneighbourhood.

  Resuming the narration where it had reached this remote province ofthe Empire, it is a suitable opportunity to explain that this sameSir Philip is here greeted on every side with marks of deferentialsubmission, and is undoubtedly an official of high button, for wheneverthe inclination seizes him he causes prisoners to be sought out, andthen proceeds to administer justice impartially upon them. In the caseof the wealthy and those who have face to lose, the matter is generallyarranged, to his profit and to the satisfaction of all, by the paymentof an adequate sum of money, after the invariable custom of our ownmandarincy. When this incentive to leniency is absent it is usual tocondemn the captive to imprisonment in a cell (it is denied officially,but there is no reason to doubt that a large earthenware vessel isoccasionally used for this purpose,) for varying periods, though it isnotorious that in the case of the very necessitous they are sometimesset freely at liberty, and those who took them publicly reprimanded foraccusing persons from whose condition on possible profit could arise.This confinement is seldom inflicted for a longer period than seven,fourteen, or twenty-one days (these being lucky numbers,) except in thecase of those who have been held guilty of ensnaring certain birds andbeasts which appear to be regarded as sacred, for they have their dulyappointed attendants who wear a garb and are trained in the dexteroususe of arms, lurking with loaded weapons in secret places to catch theunwary, both by night and day. Upheld by the high nature of their officethese persons shrink from no encounter and even suffer themselves to bekilled with resolute unconcern; but when successful they are not deniedan efficient triumph, for it is admitted that those whom they captureare marked men from that time (doubtless being branded upon the bodywith the name of their captor), and no future defence is availing. Thethird punishment, that of torture, is reserved for a class of solitarymendicants who travel from place to place, doubtless spreading the germsof an inflammatory doctrine of rebellion, for, owing to my own degradedobtuseness, the actual nature of their crimes could never be made clearto me. Of the tortures employed that known in their language as the"bath" (for which we have no real equivalent,) is the most dreaded, andthis person has himself beheld men of gigantic proportions, whose bodiesbore the stain of a voluntary endurance to every privation, abandonthemselves to a most ignoble despair upon hearing the ill-destined word.Unquestionably the infliction is closely connected with our own ordealof boiling water, but from other indications it is only reasonable toadmit that there is an added ingredient, of which we probably have noknowledge, whereby the effect is enhanced in every degree, and the outersurface of the victim rendered more vulnerable. There is also anotherand milder form of torture, known as the "task", consisting either ofsharp-edged stones being broken upon the body, or else the body brokenupon sharp-edged stones, but precisely which is the official etiquetteof the case this person's insatiable passion for accuracy and hisshort-sighted limitations among the more technical outlines of thelanguage, prevent him from stating definitely.

  Let it here be openly confessed that the intricately-arranged titlesused among these islanders, and the widely-varying dignities which theyconvey, have never ceased to embarrass my greetings on all occasions,and even yet, when a more crystal insight into their strangely illogicalmanners enables me not only to understand them clearly myself, butalso to expound their significance to others, a necessary reticence isblended with my most profuse cordiality, and my salutations to one whomI am for the first time encountering are now so irreproachably balanced,that I can imperceptibly develop them into an engaging effusion, or,without actual offence, draw back into a condition of unapproachableexclusiveness as the necessity may arise. With us, O my immaculate sire,a yellow silk umbrella has for three thousand years denoted a fixed andrecognisable title. A mandarin of the sixth degree need not hesitate tomingle on terms of assured equality with other mandarins of the sixthdegree, and without any guide beyond a seemly instinct he perceivesthe reasonableness of assuming a deferential obsequiousness before amandarin of the fifth rank, and a counterbalancing arrogance when in thesociety of an official who has only risen to the seventh degree, thusconforming to that essential principle of harmonious intercourse,"Remember that Chang Chow's ceiling is Tong Wi's floor"; but who shallwalk with even footsteps in a land where the most degraded may legallybear the same distinguished name as that of the enlightened sovereignhimself, where the admittedly difficult but even more purposelessachievement of causing a gold mine to float is held to be morepraiseworthy than to pass a competitive examination or to compose apoem of inimitable brilliance, and where one wearing gilt buttons and anemblem in his hat proves upon ingratiating approach not to be a powerfulofficial but a covetous and illiterate slave of inferior rank?Thus, through their own narrow-minded inconsistencies, even the mostceremoniously-proficient may at times present an ill-balanced attitude.This, without reproach to himself, concerns the inward cause wherebythe one who is placed to you in the relation of an affectionate andever-resourceful son found unexpectedly that he had lost the benignantfull face of a lady of exalted title.

  At that time I had formed the acquaintance, in an obscure quarter of thecity, of one who wore a uniform, and was addressed on all sides as thecommander of a band, while the gold letters upon the neck part of hisouter garment inevitably suggested that he had borne an honourable sharein the recent campaign in a distant land. As I had frequently met manyof similar rank drinking tea at the house of the engaging countess towhom I have alluded, I did not hesitate to prevail upon this CaptainMiggs to accompany me there upon an occasion also, assuring him ofequality and a sympathetic reception; but from the moment of ourarrival the attitudes of those around pointed to the existence of someunpropitious barrier invisible to me, and when the one with whom I wasassociated took up an unassailable position upon the central table,and began to speak authoritatively upon the subject of The Virtues,the unenviable condition of the proud and affluent, and the myriads offire-demons certainly laying in wait for those who partook of spiced teaand rich foods in the afternoon, and did not wear a uniform similar tohis own, I began to recognise that the selection had been inauspiciouslyarranged. Upon taxing some around with the discrepancy (as there seemedto be no more dignified way of evading the responsibility), they wereunable to contend against me that there were, indeed, two, if not more,distinct varieties of those bearing the rank of captain, and that theythemselves belonged to an entirely different camp, wearing anotherdress, and possessing no authority to display the symbol of the lettersS.A. upon their necks. With this admission I was content to leave thematter, in no way accusing them of actual duplicity, yet so withdrawingthat any of unprejudiced standing could not fail to carry away theimpression that I had been the victim of an unworthy artifice, and hadbeen lured into their society by the pretext that they were other thanwhat they really were.

  With the bitter-flavoured memory of this, and other in no way dissimilarepisodes, lingering in my throat, it need not be a matter of conjecturethat for a time I greeted warily all who bore a title, a mark of rank,or any similar appendage; who wore a uniform, weapon, brass helmet,jewelled crown, coat of distinctive colour, or any excessive superfluityof pearl or metal buttons; who went forth surrounded by a retinue, satpublicly in a chair or allegorical chariot, spoke loudly in the highwaysand places in a tone of official pronouncement, displayed any feather,emblem, inscribed badge, or printed announcement upon a pole, or in anyway conducted themselves in what we should esteem to be fitting toa position of high dignity. From this arose the absence of outwardenthusiasm with wh
ich I at first received Sir Philip's extendedfavour; for although I had come to distrust all the reasonable signs ofestablished power, I distrusted, to a much more enhanced degree, theircomplete absence; and when I observed that the one in question was neveraccompanied by a band of musicians or flower-strewers, that he mingledas though on terms of familiar intercourse with the ordinary passers-byin the streets, and never struck aside those who chanced to impedehis progress, and that he actually preferred those of low condition toapproach him on their feet, rather than in the more becoming attitudeof unconditional prostration, I reasoned with myself whether indeed hecould consistently be a person of well-established authority, or whetherI was not being again led away from my self-satisfaction by anotherobliquity of barbarian logic. It was for this reason that I now welcomedthe admitted power which he has of incriminating persons in a varietyof punishable offences, and I perceived with an added satisfactionthat here, where this privilege is more fully understood, few meet himwithout raising their hands to the upper part of their heads in token ofunquestioning submission; or, as one would interpret the symbolism intoactual words, meaning, "Thus, from this point to the underneath part ofour sandals, all between lies in the hollow of your comprehensive hand."

  There is a written jest among another barbarian nation that these amongwhom I am tarrying, being by nature a people who take their pleasurestragically, when they rise in the morning say, one to another, "Come,behold; it is raining again as usual; let us go out and kill somebody."Undoubtedly the pointed end of this adroit-witted saying may be foundin the circumstance that it is, indeed, as the proverb aptly claims,raining on practically every occasion in life; while, to complete thecomparison, for many dynasties past this nation has been successfullyengaged in killing people (in order to promote their ultimate benefitthrough a momentary inconvenience,) in every part of the world. Thusthe lines of parallel thought maintain a harmonious balance beyond thegeneral analogy of their sayings; but beneath this may be found an evensubtler edge, for in order to inure themselves to the requirement of ahigh destiny their various games and manners of disportment are, with aset purpose, so rigorously contested that in their progress most of theweak and inefficient are opportunely exterminated.

  There is a favourite and well-attended display wherein two opposingbands, each clad in robes of a distinctive colour, stand in extendedlines of mutual defiance, and at a signal impetuously engage. Thedesign of each is by force or guile to draw their opponents into anunfavourable position before an arch of upright posts, and then surgingirresistibly forward, to carry them beyond the limit and hurl them tothe ground. Those who successfully inflict this humiliation upon theiradversaries until they are incapable of further resistance are hailedvictorious, and sinking into a graceful attitude receive each a goldencup from the magnanimous hands of a maiden chose to the service, eitheron account of her peerless outline, the dignified position of her House,or (should these incentives be obviously wanting,) because the chiefones of her family are in the habit of contributing unstintingly to theequipment of the triumphal band. There is also another kind of strife,differing in its essentials only so far that all who engage therein areprovided with a curved staff, with which they may dexterously draw theirantagonists beyond the limits, or, should they fail to defend themselvesadequately, break the smaller bones of their ankles. But this form ofencounter, despite the use of these weapons, is really less fatalthan the other, for it is not a permissible act to club an antagonistresentfully about the head with the staff, nor yet even to thrustit rigidly against his middle body. From this moderation the publiccountenance extended to the curved-pole game is contemptibly meagre whenviewed by the side of the overwhelming multitudes which pour along everychannel in order to witness a more than usually desperate trial of thehurl-headlong variety (the sight, indeed, being as attractive to thesepale, blood-thirsty foreigners as an unusually large execution iswith us), and as a consequence the former is little reputed save amongmaidens, the feeble, and those of timorous instincts.

  Thus positioned, regarding a knowledge of their outside amusements, ithas always been one of the most prominent ambitions of this person'sstrategy to avoid being drawn into any encounter. At the same time,the thought that the maidens of the household here (of whom there areseveral, all so attractively proportioned that to compare them in aspirit of definite preference would be distastefully presumptuous tothis person,) should regard me as one lacking in a sufficient displayof violence was not fragrant to my sense of refinement; so that whenSir Philip, a little time after our arrival, related to me that on thefollowing day he and a chosen band were to be engaged in the match of acricket game against adversaries from the village, and asked whether Icared to bear a part in the strife, I grasped the muscles of the upperpart of my left arm with my right hand--as I had frequently seen thehardy and virile do when the subject of their powers had been raisedquestioningly--and replied that I had long concealed an insatiable wishto take such a part at a point where the conflict would be the mostrevengefully contested.

  Being thus inflexibly committed it became very necessary to arrange awell-timed intervention (whether in the nature of bodily disorder, fire,or demoniacal upheaval, a warning omen, or the death of some of ourchief antagonists), but before doing so I was desirous of understandinghow this contest, which had hitherto remained outside my experience, waswaged.

  There is here one of benevolent rotundity in whose authority lie thecavernous stores beneath the house and the vessels of gold and silver;of menial rank admittedly, yet exacting a seemly deference from allby the rich urbanity of his voice and the dignity of his massiveproportions. In the affable condescension of his tone, and thediscriminating encouragement of his attitude towards me on alloccasions, I have read a sympathetic concern over my welfare. Him I nowapproached, and taking him aside, I first questioned him flatteringlyabout his age and the extent of his yearly recompense, and then casuallyinquired what in his language he would describe the nature of a cricketto be.

  "A cricket?" repeated the obliging person readily; "a cricket, sir, is ahinsect. Something, I take it, after the manner of a grass-'opper."

  "Truly," I agreed. "It is aptly likened. And, to continue the simile, agame cricket--?"

  "A game cricket?" he replied; "well, sir, naturally a game one would bemore gamier than the others, wouldn't it?"

  "The inference is unflinching," I admitted, and after successfullyluring away his mind from any significance in the inquiry by asking himwhether the gift of a lacquered coffin or an embroidered shroud would bethe more regarded on parting, I left him.

  His words, esteemed, for a definite reason were as the jade-clapperedmelody of a silver bell. This trial of sportiveness, it becameclear,--less of a massacre than most of their amusements--is reallya rivalry of leapings and dexterity of the feet: a conflict of gamecrickets or grass-hoppers, in the somewhat wide-angled obscurity oftheir language, or, as we would more appropriately call it doubtless,a festive competition in the similitude of high-spirited locusts. Towhatever degree the surrounding conditions might vary, there could nolonger be a doubt that the power of leaping high into the air wasthe essential constituent of success in this barbarian match ofcrickets--and in such an accomplishment this person excelled from thetime of his youth with a truly incredible proficiency. Can it be areproach, then, that when I considered this, and saw in a vision thecontempt of inferiority which I should certainly be able to inflictupon these native crickets before the eyes of their maidens, eventhe accumulated impassiveness of thirty-seven generations of Kongfore-fathers broke down for the moment, and unable to restrain everyvestige of emotion I crept unperceived to the ancestral hall of SirPhilip and there shook hands affectionately with myself before each ofthe nine ironclad warriors about its walls before I could revert toa becoming state of trustworthy unconcern. That night in my own upperchamber I spent many hours in testing my powers and studying moreremarkable attitudes of locust flight, and I even found to be withinmyself some new attainments of life-like agilit
y, such as feigning thecontinuous note of defiance with which the insect meets his adversary,as remaining poised in the air for an appreciable moment at the summitof each leap, and of conveying to the body a sudden and disconcertingsideway movement in the course of its ascent. So immersed did I becomein the achievement of a high perfection that, to my never-endingself-reproach, I failed to notice a supernatural visitation of undoubtedauthenticity; for the next morning it was widely admitted that a certainfamiliar demon of the house, which only manifests its presence onoccasions of tragic omen, had been heard throughout the night inwarning, not only beating its head and body against the walls anddoors in despair, but raising from time to time a wailing cry ofsoul-benumbing bitterness.

  With every assurance that the next letter, though equally distortedin style and immature in expression, will contain the record of adeteriorated but ever upward-striving son's ultimate triumph.

  KONG HO.