Rules

by Doe, Anna B.

  You’re worthy.

  Much good that did me.

  As I stare at her, waiting for the nail that will seal my coffin, I can swear I see a mist in her eyes. But whether it’s real or just a play of light, in the blink of an eye, it’s gone.

  Her hands, still holding on to mine, give me a tight squeeze. “What are you going to do?”

  My lips part on a soft gasp. I expected a lot of things, but this sure as hell wasn’t one of them. Stunned into silence, I feel the now familiar burning sensation in my eyes.

  Tilting my head back, I sniffle, blinking the glossiness away.

  I’m not going to break.

  And then I tell her my plan.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  MAX

  “What the hell was that, Sanders?” I stop at the end of the line, panting. “My grandma moves faster than you, and she’s been buried for the past decade! Again.”

  I see the looks the guys give me as I get back to the beginning of the line. Taking a puck from the side, I get in starting position and repeat the drill, pushing myself harder than before.

  There are three plastic cones on the ice. I circle each one of them and then switch to do a full circle on the outside to get to the goal from the other side. Jack, our goalie, is standing in the net, our gazes lock. I take a swing and shoot.

  “Dammit.” I lift my hands in exasperation. If I didn’t know Coach's watchful eyes were on me, I’d throw the damn stick.

  “If you keep shooting like that, we’ll have to warn them to raise the net over the top of the rink. Home runs don’t count on the ice,” Coach says dryly, but I don’t miss the look of disappointment in his eyes. Thankfully, I don’t have to look at it much longer, because he turns around and shouts, “What the hell are you all waiting for? We’re not done. Hill, you’re up.”

  * * *

  “What the fuck is wrong with you, Sanders?” Derek slides next to me just as I shut the door to my locker with more force than necessary, the metal rattling from the impact.

  “Just an off day,” I grit. More like off week, not that I’m going to admit it out loud.

  Like they need an explanation. They all have eyes.

  Dropping the last of my things into my duffle, I throw it over my shoulder, ready to get out of here.

  The locker room is quiet. Most of the guys decided to leave without showering since Coach kept us an hour longer than usual. We ran drills until our muscles were screaming for release and the sweat was dripping on the ice underneath our feet. Even then, he let us go reluctantly, making sure we knew the repercussions if we missed the morning skate tomorrow. With the biggest game of our lives just around the corner, I could understand where he’s coming from. But the fire I had in me for it, the need to win it all, it’s gone.

  I try to turn around to go, but Derek’s hand connects with the locker next to my head, preventing me from leaving.

  “I know a lot has happened…”

  “You don’t know shit, King,” I say, looking over his shoulder so I don’t have to meet his stare. “So why don’t you let it be.”

  “I’m not going to let it be. I know you’re scared. I know what happened with Jeanette messed with your head, but I need you out there.” He points in the direction of the now-empty rink. “The whole team needs you out there if we want to win this thing.”

  “It’s just a game!”

  How can he not see it? In the grand scheme of things, hockey is irrelevant. It’s just a game we play to keep the masses entertained for a few hours. To give them something to take their minds off of how shitty their everyday life is.

  “It’s our future!” His fist connects with the locker, making the metal rattle in the quiet room. “Dammit, Max!”

  He takes a few steps back, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “If you don’t get a grip in the next couple of days, you can say goodbye to your starter position.”

  I narrow my eyes at him, a pang of irritation springing inside of me. “Is that a threat?”

  “This is me knowing how Coach’s brain works. He’s not going to risk putting a cannonball in a game that could make or break us.”

  I know he’s telling the truth. In all honesty, I wouldn’t put myself in the game right now; I can’t blame Coach for doing the same.

  “Get your head in the game. We need you there, Max.”

  We stare at each other across the room, not saying anything. I know he means well, but I’m not sure I have it in me to be the person he needs me to be.

  “Derek?”

  We both turn in the direction of a tentative voice.

  “Lia?”

  She’s standing in the doorway, her red head barely peeking in, hand covering her eyes. “Are you all decent? I think I saw most of the team leave, but I’m not sure.”

  I notice a little frown between her brows before Derek’s back gets in my way, shielding her from my view.

  “We’re decent. What the hell are you doing here? It’s late.”

  “I waited. I need to talk to you.” She peeks around Derek to look at me. “To talk to you both.”

  The way she says it has the fine hair at the nape of my neck standing.

  “What’s going on?” The words come out of me quickly. All the scenarios running through my mind making my heart beat furiously. Is it Jeanette? Did something happen again?

  Lia’s sad eyes look at me, and for the first time, I see how puffy and red they are. She’s been crying.

  “It’s Brook…” I inhale sharply, my breath getting stuck in my throat. Fresh tears pool in Lia’s eyes. “She’s gone.”

  I don’t know what I was expecting, but this sure as hell isn’t it.

  “What do you mean ‘gone’?” I can see Derek frown at her. But not me. I’m standing completely still. Unable to move a single muscle.

  Brook is gone? Gone where?

  “She came to my house earlier today and said she forgot something.” Brown eyes settle on mine, almost pleading. “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

  Derek’s hand cups her cheek, drawing Lia’s attention to him. “What happened? What did she forget?”

  “Money. She was stashing money under the loose board in my closet. Said she needed a backup plan in case of an emergency.”

  “What emergency?”

  My head is throbbing with all the possibilities, making it unable to think clearly. What the hell is going on? Where is she?

  Lia shakes her head. “She didn’t want to tell me. We had a fight, and then she was gone.”

  She looks at me once again. “Max…” Her lip wobbles as she comes to me. “I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I never wanted to hurt you… I-I…”

  Gulping down, I close my eyes so I don’t have to see her face. Even without her saying the words, I know she knows. Brook must have told her.

  Dammit, Brook. The eerie stillness turns to anger, slowly, but surely boiling inside of me.

  She had no right. No right to go to Lia and say anything. It was none of her goddamn business.

  Lia’s small hands wrap around my still body, her tears dampening my shirt as she cries.

  “I-I didn’t know,” she hiccups. “I never wanted to hurt you; you have to believe me.”

  Pushing away the anger, I pull Lia in my arms, my hand soothing her messy hair as she sobs softly, her hands gripping my shirt. “Shh… it’s okay. You did nothing wrong.”

  “I should have known. Should have seen it…” Another heartbreaking sob rips out of her lungs. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  “I know.”

  Lifting my gaze, I see Derek looking at us. His shoulders are tense, lips set in a tight line. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for him not to come over and rip her out of my arms. If I were him, I’m not sure I’d be able to hold on to the control while the guy who was once in love with his girlfriend now has her in his arms, but he does it. Because this isn’t about me or him; it’s about Lia and her pain. The pain her best friend purposely
put her through.

  She pulls back, her hands still grasping me. Her long lashes are glued together, eyes glossy with unshed tears. “I do love you, Max. As a friend, and if for a second I suspected…”

  “It’s okay.” I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I know that. I’ve always known that. So you don’t have to be sorry about anything, because you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “You’re a good man, Max.”

  I chuckle, but there is no humor in it. “I don’t think people would agree with you right now.”

  “They’re fools.” Lia smiles, but it’s missing its usual light. “I always thought it was Brook.”

  My eyes fall shut, heart squeezing tightly, as image after image of Brook assaults my mind. All the feelings I didn’t want to name mixing with anger because of what she did. Anger and worry.

  What the hell happened, Brook? Where are you?

  I remember her coming to me the other day. Did something happen? Did she need me and I pushed her away?

  “Brook and I… things are complicated.”

  A loud cough interrupts us.

  “Now that we’ve sorted all the mushy stuff, can you please let go of my girlfriend?” Derek comes closer, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her away from me, but not before shooting a threat my way. “Before I break your arms for even considering touching something that’s mine.”

  We look at each other over Lia’s head. His gaze is hard, telling me all I need to know.

  Stay the fuck away from my girl.

  I nod my head in acknowledgment, letting my hands fall down and taking a step back. Whatever feelings I once had for Lia are now gone. They have been for a while. What I didn’t anticipate is this hollow feeling inside me. I can feel it growing, dark and overwhelming.

  “What are we going to do?” Lia’s soft whisper breaks me out of my thoughts. “I’m worried about her.”

  I look down at her troubled face. “Do you want to go looking for her?”

  She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t know where to start. Brook isn’t very forthcoming when it comes to her whereabouts. Even with me and I’m her best friend.”

  “We’ll figure it out.” Derek’s lips press against her forehead. “She couldn’t have just disappeared from the face of the earth.”

  My chest squeezes painfully. Worry—a feeling that by now has become my constant companion, especially when it comes to Brook. Even when she drives me crazy, even when I want to strangle her for her stubbornness, I can’t help but worry about her well-being.

  Did she leave for good? Or is she just hiding in that hole in the wall where she thinks she belongs?

  Either way, knowing Brook? I wouldn’t put it past her to do just that.

  As if she can read my thoughts, Lia voices my worries. “She’s good at hiding. She’s been through so much, she’s gotten good at it. Too good. If she wants to disappear…”

  Dread settles in my bones. Lia doesn’t have to finish her sentence for us to understand.

  If Brook wants to disappear, we won’t find her.

  * * *

  What the hell am I doing here?

  It’s dark, and the snow is falling heavily. Even though I just turned off the engine as not to draw unnecessary attention to myself, the cold slowly but surely has started to creep inside my car.

  My stomach rumbles loudly, and as I shift in my seat, I feel my stiff muscles ache.

  I was supposed to go home, get something to eat and take a hot shower to wash away the soreness in my muscles if I planned to play tomorrow, but I couldn’t escape this nagging feeling inside of me.

  Yes, I’m still pissed at Brook for doing what she did, but the worry I felt for her safety was overwhelming.

  As soon as I sat down in my car, the memory of Brook standing on my front porch the other day assaulted me.

  I need to talk to you.

  I could see the desperation in her eyes, the fear, yet I drove her away without listening. Without even giving her a second to explain.

  Was I part of the reason she left?

  Maybe if I wasn’t so stuck in my own ass, maybe if I’d have given her a chance to explain…

  A shadow stumbles down the street. It’s too dark to see who it is, but I can feel my blood buzz in anticipation as I watch the person near.

  Maybe it’s Brook. Maybe she didn’t leave, but just chose to stay away…

  But it doesn’t take me long to realize it’s not her. It’s a woman, older by the looks of it. She climbs the stairs of Brook’s building, almost tripping over her own feet on the way up. The only thing that saves her is the fact that she’s gripping the shaky railing like her life depends on it. I guess it does.

  In utter silence, I watch the building, trying to figure out which of the windows is Brook’s.

  Shame settles in my gut. I don’t even know which floor she lives on. What else did I miss? What else didn’t I bother to ask and she kept it to herself?

  Where are you, Brook?

  I don’t want to accept that she’s gone, but the sinking feeling inside of me begs to differ.

  Where are you?

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  BROOK

  Entering the sleek brick building, I take a moment to look around myself. Rich cream-colored walls are covered with paintings that even from afar look like the real deal and not some cheap copy. Expensive mahogany furniture is filling the small lobby: receptionist desk on one side with two leather sofas and a small coffee table on the other. A delicate chandelier is hanging off the ceiling, giving the whole room a warm look, although I can’t feel it. Everything in here is just too much. Over-the-top intimidating. Even the potted plants look like they were specially bred just so they could be put in this high-class office that belonged to the future mayor of this town.

  Taking a deep breath, my mind starts debating if this was a good idea as I walk toward the receptionist’s desk, but I shut it down before it can get out of control.

  This is the only idea I have. The only option. I wouldn’t be here if there was anything else to do.

  The young woman sitting behind the desk lifts her gaze to meet mine. She’s in her early to mid-twenties most likely. Her blond hair is curled in loose spirals, face covered in makeup that probably took an hour to apply and is more appropriate for going to the club than working in the office. Her white blouse, the only thing I can see behind a high-top desk, is unbuttoned, showing off her ample cleavage.

  “How can I help you Miss?” she plasters a smile on her red lips, but I can see the way her eyes take me in, judging me. With one swipe of her eyes over my frame, she deems me unworthy, a nuisance that doesn’t belong in this luxurious office.

  Honey, if you only knew…

  “I’m here to talk to Mr. Hill,” I say shortly, refusing to leave her an opening to send me away easily.

  Brown eyes pop out at my brisk, no-nonsense voice. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, but no words come out. Finally, she snaps it shut and looks down at her computer. I can hear her typing quickly, probably checking his schedule. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Hill’s schedule is full at the moment.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Then I guess he’ll have to make time…”

  Without waiting for her response, I turn around and walk down the hallway.

  “Miss, you can’t…”

  She starts running after me. I know because I can hear the clicking sound of her high heels following behind, but I’m faster. Wrapping my hand around the cool metal knob, I pull the door open.

  He’s sitting behind his big mahogany desk, phone glued to his ear as he goes over some papers. As soon as the door swings open, his head snaps up. His green eyes narrow in anger, but when he realizes who’s standing at the door, I can see them grow wide in surprise.

  “We need to talk,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the doorway casually. In reality, I felt anything but casual standing on the opposite side of the room from the man who is my
father. No, not my father, my sperm donor.

  In my eighteen years on this planet, I’ve never been closer to him, and if I didn’t need him, I probably wouldn’t even be here now.

  His throat bobbles as he swallows hard before speaking to whoever’s on the other end of the phone. “I’m sorry, George. I’ll have to call you later.” Then he hangs up without waiting for an answer.

  “I’m so sorry, Mr. Hill.” His secretary pants behind me. “I tried to stop her but… I’ll escort her out immediately.”

  Her hand wraps around my upper arm, but I pull it out of her touch just as he says, “Miss Taylor will stay. You can leave us now, Natasha.”

  Looking over my shoulder, I give her my best smug smile, before entering the room and closing the door in her face. The smile falls as soon as she’s gone, anxiety returning in full swing. What the hell am I doing? This was a mistake. One huge, stupid…

  “Why are you here?”

  Taking one deep breath to compose myself, I turn on the balls of my feet and face the man I came to see. He’s leaning in his black leather chair, his hands clasped on his stomach. His mask is back in place as he sits in his three-piece suit. His dark brown hair, streaked with grays, is still rich and neatly styled. A casual smile plays on his lips as those green eyes observe me carefully, almost like a predator.

  Observing him like this, up close, I can see some resemblance.

  Would I have noticed before? If I had ever gotten a chance to be close to him, would I have known he’s the guy who fathered me? The guy with whom I share DNA? Or do I see the resemblance now because I know who he is?

  “I need your help.”

  One eyebrow arches. “Do tell.”

  “I… I heard your conversation with Josephine.” I push a strand of hair out of my face, looking away. “I know she’s been blackmailing you. Threatening she’ll tell everybody you knocked her up and left her be. Threatening she’ll tell the world about me being your daughter, and with your political career just starting…”