Rules

by Doe, Anna B.

  Chapter Sixty-Three

  MAX

  Brook cries until there are no tears left to shed. I hold her the whole time, my heart aching for the broken girl in my arms.

  “Shhhh,” I murmur over and over again, my lips pressed against the crown of her head.

  After hearing all of this, the guilt I’ve been feeling is stronger than ever. I did this to her, to us. If I hadn’t acted the way I did, if I hadn’t thrown her out, she wouldn’t be so completely alone. She probably wouldn’t even have thought about getting an abortion, much less almost go through with it.

  “How am I supposed to look my baby in the eyes?” Brook hiccups softly. “How am I supposed to be his mother, knowing I almost killed him?”

  Her words make my knees go weak. I close my eyes, taking one deep breath in, before pulling her away so I can see her face. My throat is stiff, the words barely getting out from all the emotions going through me. “But you didn’t go through with it. Even when you were facing one of your biggest fears, even when you knew it would be easier that way, you didn’t go through with it.” My hands cup her cheeks, thumbs wiping away the tears. “That’s why you’re going to be an amazing mom, Brook. You’ve seen the worst of it, and you’ve survived it. And this baby will be the happiest baby in the world knowing it has you to love and protect it. You and me both.”

  “Max, you don’t have to…”

  I press my finger against her lips. “This doesn’t change anything.”

  “How can it not?”

  “Because I want you, Brook. I wanted you before, and I want you still. What I said earlier doesn’t change. This.” I look down at her still visible bump. My fingers itch to touch it, but I hold back. “This doesn’t change anything. When we were driving here, Andrew asked me why I was coming. Was it because of you or because of the baby.”

  Brook gasps, her mouth falling open in surprise.

  “We knew. Josephine went to Andrew’s house demanding to know where you were. She found the test, and she was happy to rub it in their faces. So we knew coming here that you might be pregnant. At the time, I didn’t have the answer. How could I choose really? I love you, but I also loved that baby. Real or not, I loved it. But when I saw you standing on that staircase as beautiful as ever and not really looking pregnant, to be honest, I knew it was you. Whatever happens, baby or no baby, it doesn’t matter. I’ll always choose you. Because I love you, Brook Taylor. I love your stubbornness, and I love your smart mouth, although most of the time it pisses me off. I love that I’m one of the rare people who can make you laugh. I love that I know parts of you that you hide from everybody else. You see the guy that’s hiding behind the mask and aren’t afraid to call me on my bullshit. I love how you challenge me and make me want to be a better man.”

  “Max…” Another tear slips down.

  “Come home with me,” I urge. “Come home with me and let me show you how good it could be. How good we could be.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “Why not?”

  “Brook Taylor died when I left, and it was for the best. I don’t know what’s happening with Josephine, but I’m sure she didn’t return the money she owed. Hell, she took my money and spent it on more drugs instead of paying off her debts. If I go back, people will come knocking on my door asking for it, and I don’t have that kind of money. Besides, I promised Andrew’s dad that I’d disappear if he gives me the money.” Her throat bobbles as she swallows. “Then there is Lia. I messed up pretty big with her before I left.”

  “Lia wants you back, Brook. We all do. And as for the rest… screw John Hill.” If I ever saw the bastard, I’d probably strangle him with my own hands. “He doesn’t get a say in this. He should have never let you leave. And the whole Josephine mess? We’ll give the guy money if necessary and get it over with.”

  Brook shakes her head, pulling away. “She’ll always want more. She’ll always get in some kind of trouble, and I’ll be left cleaning it up.”

  “I won’t let it happen.” I take a step forward, placing my hands on her shoulders. “But that’s not what’s bothering you, not really…”

  “I’m scared,” Brook admits, looking away. “I’m scared that something will go wrong and I’ll have my heart broken again.”

  Cupping her cheek, I make her look at me. “I can’t promise I won’t mess up, but I’ll try my best not to. What I can promise you is that I’ll do my best to make you happy. You and this baby will always be loved, always have a family and a home. Give me a chance, Brook, please. Give me a chance to prove to you what we could be together.”

  “You’re going off to college come fall.”

  “How do you feel about Boston?” I smile, brushing her cheek. “Because I sure as hell hope to have you come with me.”

  “Max, I…”

  “If you don’t know, it’s okay. Or if you don’t want to go. It’s your choice, and whatever you decide, I’ll support it. Come with me to Boston or stay in Greyford. I’ll do my best to be there. I can do my year at BU and try to transfer somewhere closer so I can be with you. There are possibilities, and you can choose whatever you think will make you happy.”

  “I think…” Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, and I can feel my body react to the movement. “I think I need time to think. It’s all too much.”

  “Then that’s what you’ll have,” I say, although it pains me. But she’s right. We came here today and put it all on her. It’s not right to demand she gives us all the answers now. “But please, come back with us. Come home.”

  I can see her uncertainty, her fear. It’s alive, almost palpable. She’s not blinking, not breathing, and neither am I as I wait for her to make a decision. To take a chance on me, on us. I know if she gives me a chance, I’ll do everything in my power to show her what we could be.

  Finally, she nods. It’s small, barely visible, but with my eyes glued to her face, there is no chance I could miss it.

  A smile spreads over my face instantly. Not waiting another second, I bend down and press my lips against hers. Something I’ve been dying to do since I saw her.

  I can hear her soft gasp at the first touch, her warm breath tickling my skin. Groaning, my hand slips to the nape of her neck, pulling her closer, my lips sliding over hers gently. The last thing I want is to scare her, but no matter what she thinks, Brook Taylor isn’t that easily scared.

  Her palms press against my chest, fingers digging into my shirt and pulling me closer. Our bodies bump together, pressed flush against one another as she opens her lips. I comply, my tongue sliding into her hot, wet mouth. Brook moans loudly, coming even closer if possible. I can feel her bump press against my stomach, a zing of awareness going through my whole body at the impact.

  Inhaling sharply, I break our kiss and pull back, looking down at our bodies still touching.

  “W-What’s wrong?” Brook stutters, confused. Not that I can blame her.

  “I-I…” I move my hands, letting them slide over her shoulders and down her sides, stopping on her waist. Moving away, I look at her. Her lips are red from our kiss, cheeks flushed. She worries her lower lip as I take in her body, my eyes stopping on her stomach.

  Brook straightens her shirt self-consciously. “I’m afraid I’m not what I used to be.”

  My head snaps up instantly, just in time to catch a flash of embarrassment on her face. Brushing a runaway strand of her hair behind her ear, I say, “You’re beautiful, Brook. Always were and always will be. That’s not why I stopped.”

  “Why did you stop then?”

  “Can I…” My eyes dart down, but I force them up, scratching at the nape of my neck. “Can I touch you?”

  My hand, still glued to her waist, grips her a little tighter. Green eyes grow wide in understanding, her mouth falling open. This time, I’m the one feeling embarrassed. After all this talk that I’m here for her, I can’t help but wonder about the baby. Since the moment she showed me her bump, I wanted to touch it, to feel this life
we created, and having her in my arms only intensified that feeling.

  Taking my free hand in hers, she slowly brings it down. My heart is beating so hard I’m afraid it’ll burst out. I look at Brook, not once breaking our eye contact as she lowers my hand, putting it on her stomach and placing her hand on top.

  I gulp hard, all the emotions assaulting me at once. Amazement, fear, worry, they’re all swirling inside of me. My eyes sting, vision growing hazy, but even then I don’t look away. Spreading my fingers, my whole hand completely cups the little bump.

  “Amazing, isn’t it?” Brook whispers, and I can only nod my head. “I still can’t believe that soon I’ll be able to feel him move, and then, in a few months, I’ll hold my baby.”

  “D-do you…” My throat is so dry I have to clear it before continuing. “Do you know what we’re having?”

  I could see it clearly. A little girl who looks just like her. A mass of wavy brown hair, impossibly green eyes, and that little smile that will have me wrapped around her finger.

  Brook shakes her head. “It’s still too early. The doctor said maybe on the next check-up, although I think I want it to stay a secret. But I have a feeling it’s a boy.”

  A shaky laugh bursts out of me. “Funny, I was just thinking we’re having a little girl.”

  Brook smiles, and I can feel my heart skip a beat. Not that long ago, I’d have given anything for one of her real smiles, and now that I have it, I know I’ll do everything in my power to keep it.

  No, she still hasn’t told me she loves me, although I know she does. And everything about us is so new, so fragile. But I’m not going to let it stop me. Brook is giving me a chance, and I’ll prove to her there is nothing to be afraid of.

  She’s mine, and I’m hers. I just needed her to realize that.

  Chapter Sixty-Four

  BROOK

  “Funny, I was just thinking we’re having a little girl.” Max laughs, and I can’t help the flutters spreading through my stomach.

  We. It’s not the first time he used the word when referring to the baby, but every time he does, my defenses lower more and more, my smile growing wider. For somebody who thought she could do it all on her own, I’m falling pretty fast.

  His eyes soften when he looks at me, the gray in his irises glowing bright. I’ve never seen him look at me like that before, and I couldn’t help myself but reach out to touch his face, the stubble covering his jaw gently scraping the tips of my fingers.

  My finger brushes against his lower lip, and I can hear him suck in air, the smile dying on his lips as tingles spread through my hand. I start to pull away, but Max doesn’t let me. He gently sucks on the tip of my finger, and I moan softly, unable to hold it in.

  I knew from reading some of the pregnancy books that some women are more sexually aroused during pregnancy, and for the first time, I get it. Having Max this close makes me all kinds of horny, and when he puts his hands on me, I can’t help myself. I want them all over me. Just the thought of it makes my core clench and heat pool between my legs.

  Max nibbles at my finger, the soft gleam in his eyes growing hazy. My hand that is still covering his on my stomach tightens a little, my mouth growing dry. He lets my finger pop out of his mouth, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

  My stomach clenches in anticipation. As much as I liked his previous kiss, I want more. So much more, and by the looks of it, he’s ready to give it to me. Moving closer, he slips his hand around the nape of my neck. His lips brush against mine softly, teasingly. I moan in protest, ready to throw myself at him if he doesn’t give me more, just as the door bursts open.

  “Are you guys done already?” Andrew yells from the back of the house. We can hear his loud footsteps nearing. Jumping apart, I stumble to get on my own feet, but Max’s hand grabs my upper arm, steadying me.

  “Please tell me you didn’t maul my sister,” Andrew says as soon as he catches sight of us.

  I’m sure I have to be a mess. My cheeks are flushed, and my lips still feel raw.

  “You maul my sister all the time,” Max points out as his hand slides down my arm, fingers interlocking with mine.

  “That’s not the same,” Andrew argues, curiously eyeing us.

  “I don’t see the difference.”

  Rolling his eyes, Andrew tips his chin in our direction. “You sort out your shit?”

  Max looks down at me, his fingers squeezing mine. Waiting for my answer.

  Taking one deep breath, I look between the two of them. The boy I love, although I’m scared shitless to admit it out loud, and the boy who shares my blood. “This will be one big mess,” I warn them.

  Andrew comes closer, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I don’t care. I already told you, it’s you and me, Brook.”

  My heart softens a little, another brick falling out of the wall I built around myself. When I found out about my connection to the Hill family, I didn’t even dare to think of what it would be like if Andrew ever found out. What, or if, we’d have any kind of relationship, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like this. Having somebody in my corner, somebody who’ll have my back no matter what.

  “Well…” My gaze darts to Max’s before it returns back to my brother. My brother. “It’s actually not just you and me.”

  His eyes go wide instantly, realization setting in. I set it on my stomach, the shirt flat against my belly. The bump is still very small, but I know it’s just a matter of time before there will be no way to hide it.

  “You’re pregnant…” he breathes, looking between my face and the bump. Pain flashes in his irises. Andrew pushes it away, letting the smile spread on his lips, but I’ve seen it and I can’t help but wonder how he must feel. After everything he and Jeanette went through... “You’re pregnant.”

  “Fifteen weeks.”

  Andrew opens his mouth, but no words come out. Shaking his head, he takes a step closer and pulls me in for a hug.

  We hold each other, probably longer than necessary, but I don’t mind it one bit. After all, we have a lot to catch up on.

  “Ready to go home?”

  I can feel my whole body tense. I’m not ready to go back—I’m not sure I’ll ever be—but I can see the yearning in both their eyes. They want me back. I’ve never been wanted before, never known what it’s like to have people stand in my corner and love me despite everything.

  Staying in Virginia would be so easy. I could be whoever I wanted to be without carrying the burden of the darkness from my past, but I know I can’t do it. Not now when I got a glimpse of how it could be if I decided to let people in.

  I could have a family. For the first time in my life, I could have a family of my own making. And not just me, but my baby too. It would be selfish to rob him of a father and uncle just because I’m scared.

  But even that doesn’t make it easier.

  Inhaling, I take a step back.

  “Let’s go home.”

  Chapter Sixty-Five

  BROOK

  “I’m not sure this was the best idea,” I repeat once again, my eyes glued to the road in front of us. We are a few minutes away from our final destination, and my inner panic attack is reaching its peak.

  The boys didn’t want to wait, and to be completely honest, I was sure I’d chicken out if we didn’t leave as soon as possible. So after I told them I’d go back to Greyford, I went to look for Mrs. Perry to explain what was going on. We practically chased the woman out of her own home so I could deal with my problems.

  When I was done, she nodded in understanding, but still offered, once again, for me to stay. Declining her offer, I went back upstairs to pack what little things I had, and after I arranged with Mrs. Perry to send my paintings to her sister, we were on our merry way.

  The trip that seemed so long the first time around seemed to pass in a flash now that we were going back. My nerves were all over the place, because apparently, Andrew was now living with Derek. A little tidbit they told me once we were already
in the car, and I agreed to stay with him.

  “We’ll check some apartments tomorrow,” Andrew promises once again.

  I didn’t have anything against staying at Derek’s particularly. I just didn’t like the idea of being a burden to somebody, but since there was no way I was going back to Josephine’s—not like they’d let me anyway—I didn’t have much choice. What I was actually scared of was seeing Lia. I saw Andrew sending a text to somebody when we stopped to eat, and knowing him, it was either Derek or Jeanette. Either way, the news will reach Lia.

  “You can always stay at my place,” Max says.

  Sighing, I turn my head to look at him. Instead of taking shotgun, he decided to sit next to me in the back. He wasn’t particularly happy when I said I’d stay at Andrew’s, but he didn’t insist much either.

  “I need time,” I remind him softly. “This is all happening so fast. When I woke up this morning, I was alone, thinking how I’d make do, and now we’re back in Greyford. Besides, you still need to tell you family about the baby.”

  This was just one of the things that had me worried. I didn’t have anybody to tell—well, except our friends—but there was nobody to disappoint. The same wasn’t true for Max. And while he insisted he didn’t care what his parents thought—on the drive home he caught me up on everything that had happened while I was away—I knew it was his anger talking.

  “I know.” His lips brush against the side of my forehead. “I just want you to know you have me. Whatever you need, I’m here. As for my parents, I think the sooner we tell them, the better.”

  I brush my hand over my stomach, the black tank top glued to my body. “Not like we can hide it for long.”

  “No hiding.” Max shakes his head. “I know we said slow, but I want everybody to know you’re mine.”

  “Why don’t you just write your name over my forehead and be done with it?” I ask dully.