Search Me

by Katie Ashley

  After I walked outside, the creak of the porch swing drew my attention. I squinted down the length of the porch. “Maddox, is that you?”

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  I walked over to him. “What are doing out here by yourself?”

  He shrugged. “I just needed some air.” He raked his hand through his dark hair before sucking in a deep breath. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

  “Oh, um, yeah. This really isn’t my scene.”

  Maddox grinned. “Why am I not surprised? You’ve always been too much of a goodie girl for parties and drinking.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t know anyone here, and the host of the party, very rudely, wasn’t around to make introductions for me.”

  He quirked a dark brow at me. “Is that right?”

  “Yes it is.”

  “What a bastard. Someone should totally kick his ass for being such a dick to such an amazing girl,” he mused.

  I grinned at him. “Yes, they should.”

  Maddox’s gaze roamed appreciatively over me. “Did you wear that smoking hot dress just for him?”

  Oh hell yes, I did. “Not exactly,” I lied.

  “Good. He doesn’t deserve a girl as fine as hell like you.” He shook his head slowly back and forth and then smirked up at me. “What a package you are, Lane. Sexy and sweet and bad and good.”

  I then waved the half empty bottle in my hand. “I dunno about being so good. I did have a wine cooler,” I protested.

  A teasing, but sexy, gleam burned in his dark eyes. “Ooh, you’re so naughty.” Leaning forward, he grabbed my arm. Electricity shot all the way up my shoulder before sending tingling feelings over my entire body. “All joking aside, don’t leave. Sit down a minute.” Maddox patted the wooden seat beside him invitingly. Of course, it wouldn’t have taken much for me to flop down next to him.

  The swing barely held the two of us, and I found myself practically in his lap. The heat from his body seared the bare skin on my thighs and arms. He reached over and grabbed two beer bottles off the side table. He handed me one, and reluctantly, I took it. “How about a toast since I’m leaving?”

  “Okay.”

  His forehead scrunched as he fought to find the right words. “How about, here’s to all the crazy shit we’ve done together since we were kids, and all the crazy shit we’ll do when I get back?”

  “Sounds good.” I clinked the neck of my beer bottle to his. “Here’s to our past and future,” I murmured before taking a dainty sip.

  Maddox snorted, causing me to jump. “Why don’t you get the stick out of your ass, prove me wrong for once and chug that thing?”

  Lowering my bottle, I gave him the stink eye. He knew I hated when he dared me to do something—it was usually the reason why I got into trouble when we were younger. Part of me wanted to tell him to forget it, that I wasn’t falling for his usual goading. The other part of me wanted to show him that I really wasn’t just a ‘goodie girl’, as he liked to call me, and that I could be the right one. It was especially important since it was now or never time with cementing our relationship.

  “Fine.” I tipped back the bottle and started draining the contents in long, foamy gulps. I got halfway through before my eyes watered, and my chest felt like it was going to explode. When my stomach lurched, I jerked the bottle away, spewing what was in my mouth over the floorboards. Before I could wipe my mouth, a burp rumbled through my throat and erupted from my lips.

  Maddox’s eyes widened before he burst out laughing. Mortification warmed my cheeks and neck as his body shook the swing in amusement. I dragged the back of my hand across my face and wiped my mouth. I was debating sprinting off the porch when Maddox thumped my back heartily like he would one of his buddies. “That was awesome, Lane.”

  “Oh yeah. Real cool,” I muttered.

  “No, I’m serious.” He then winked at me, causing my heart to flutter. “But in the future, I think it’s best if you sip slowly rather than trying to prove me wrong.”

  Without taking my eyes off his, I took a long gulp, shuddered at the taste, but then smiled sweetly at him. “Thanks for the advice.”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “Damn, I’m going to miss you.”

  My heart went from fluttering into a full gallop. We sat in silence for a few minutes just listening to the sounds of the party, and the heave and sigh of the swing. Finally, I cleared my throat of what seemed like a mound of sawdust. “You know you’re missing your party,” I said softly.

  Maddox shrugged. “It was stupid to have a party because I don’t feel much like celebrating.” After chugging the rest of his beer and tossing the bottle, he reached into the cooler beside him and got us both another one. As the sounds of the antics from inside the house grew louder, Maddox stood up and held out his free hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

  I extended my shaky hand to meet his. “Sure,” I murmured. I’m not sure how my trembling legs supported me, but after putting one foot in front of the other, I let him lead me off the porch and into the yard. When we’d reached the old oak tree at the far end of the yard, I guess Maddox felt we’d distanced ourselves enough from the house because he stopped.

  As I ran my fingertips over the seat of the worn swing, Maddox cocked his head at me. “Want me to push you like old times?”

  “I’m not sure it’s safe.”

  Maddox chuckled as he motioned for me to sit down. “You’re always so cautious, Lane.”

  “Fine. But I better not bust my ass in this thing,” I muttered as I eased down onto the wooden seat.

  His breath hovered over my earlobe. “If you hurt your ass, I’ll kiss it and make it better for you.” When I gasped at his blatant innuendo, he laughed. “Just teasing.”

  “I don’t know what I’m more shocked about—your naughty suggestion or the fact you might actually care that I got hurt. I mean, when we were kids, you always gave me hell if I cried when I got a cut or bruise.”

  Maddox grimaced. “Yeah, I was a big asshole to you most of the time, wasn’t I?”

  “Pretty much.”

  Pulling me back, he then pushed me forward in the swing. “Well, isn’t there some theory about little boys who treat little girls shitty to get their attention because deep down they’re really crushing on them?”

  I twisted my fingers tighter around the swing’s rope handles while I tried to still my erratic breathing. “There’s something like that,” I murmured. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught Maddox’s intense expression. Nibbling my lip, I contemplated whether now was the right moment to come clean with him about my feelings.

  Suddenly, an amused look came over his face. “Hey, remember that time we all went camping, and Maudie’s old hound dog broke into the cooler in the middle of the night and ate all of the hotdogs?”

  “The one you named Lane?”

  “That’s the one.”

  I giggled. “Yes, I remember it.”

  We then launched into an hour-long trip down memory lane. It wasn’t long before Maddox squeezed in beside me on the swing. By the time we were finished talking, I’d managed to polish off the rest of my beer. I was actually acquiring a taste for it, which for me was saying a lot. Of course, I was also starting to feel a little loopy, and the constant motion of the swing was making me woozy. I dug my toes into the dirt, stopping the swing.

  “You okay?”

  Bringing my hand to my head, I replied, “I will be when the world stops spinning.”

  “Uh-oh,” Maddox said. He stepped around the side of the swing. After he brought one of my arms over his neck, he used the other to scoop me up in his arms.

  “Oh my God, you don’t have to carry me! I’m not that dizzy,” I protested.

  “Yeah, but it gives me the chance to look strong and get to feel you close to me.” When I stared up at him, he winked. Since I liked where the conversation was going and I didn’t want the moment to end, I gave him a pleading smile.

  “Will you take me down by
the river?”

  “You don’t want to go back to the house?”

  I shook my head. “I just want to be with you. Well, I guess I should say alone with you.”

  Maddox’s dark eyes drank in my face for a moment before he bobbed his head. “Okay, but lemme run back to the porch for my cooler.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Maddox eased me gently onto my feet. When I started around the tree for the riverbank, he grabbed my hand. “Wait, don’t go by yourself.”

  “Um, okay, Mr. Paranoid.”

  He chuckled before trotting back across the yard to the house. From a distance, I watched him pound up the porch steps, wave to a few leaving partygoers as he grabbed the cooler, and then he jogged back to me.

  Once he returned to my side, we let the full moon overhead lead us down to the river. We then both plopped onto one of the old blankets Maudie had left on the bank. She usually came down to the river every morning with her coffee before doing her Yoga poses.

  “Damn, look at those stars,” Maddox remarked, craning his head to take in the sky.

  As a lightning bug lit up in front us, I motioned to it. “Remember how I hated when you’d catch those and put them in a jar?”

  Maddox grinned in the darkness. “You thought it was cruel because they couldn’t fly around with their fellow bugs.”

  I giggled. “I was always going behind you and setting them free.”

  With the same impish grin he had as a boy, Maddox asked, “You remember everything about us growing up, don’t you?”

  “Sure I do.”

  “Then you’re not going to forget me when I’m gone, are you?” he questioned.

  “How can you say something like that? I could never forget you.” I stared into his eyes, which showed fear for the first time I could remember. The alcohol in me made me act much braver than I felt. I grabbed his hand in mine. “I’ll pray for you each and every night, Maddox. You just have to stay strong while you’re away, and come back to us safe and sound.”

  He squeezed my hand tight. “Thanks. That means a lot.”

  “And I’ll be right here waiting for you when you come back.”

  Maddox leaned over and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I pressed myself against him, enjoying the way my body molded against his. Wanting even more of him, I dipped my head and started nuzzling my face against his neck. In all our years together, we’d never, ever been this close. The very thought sent a tingle ricocheting over my body, and I sighed with happiness.

  “Damn you smell good.”

  I laughed. “It’s just some vanilla lotion I threw on before I came over.”

  “I’d say you smell good enough to eat!”

  When I glanced up at him, he waggled his eyebrows and teasingly licked his lips. I knew he was waiting for me to die of embarrassment, but I didn’t. Instead, I drew on the liquid courage pulsing through my veins. I inched my face closer to his. My heart pounded in my ears as I whispered, “Why don’t you kiss me instead?”

  Seconds ticked agonizingly by as I waited for his response. His face was expressionless except for the desire burning in his dark eyes. He then leaned in and brought his lips to mine for my first real kiss. Sure, I’d had a peck or two from guys, but nothing like this. It was everything a late bloomer like me had always hoped and fantasized it would be—especially since it was with Maddox.

  When I felt the warmth of his tongue brush against my lips, I relaxed in his arms and tried to act like I knew what I was doing. As his mouth raged against mine, I fought the dizziness that threatened to overtake me. It felt like the world was spinning like a crazed game of Ring Around the Roses, and the only thing keeping me grounded was Maddox’s hands and lips on me.

  I barely noticed when Maddox shifted up on his knees before easing me onto my back. Involuntarily, my legs opened wider to allow him to slide his hips between them. When he started rocking himself against me, I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. Now I knew what everyone had been going on and on about when it came to sex and making out. Every inch of me scorched and burned like I was on fire.

  As Maddox’s teeth grazed my bottom lip, I brought my hands up to twist and tug my fingers through his dark hair. I don’t know how long we stayed like that—lip-locked with his hips furiously pumping against me and me clumsily raising my hips up to meet his thrusts.

  He tore his lips from mine and began kissing his way down my neck. When his fingers delved inside the top of my sundress, I wasn’t sure if I was completely ready for him to keep going. “Lane…” he groaned, his breath warming my chest against the cool, night air.

  “Hmm?”

  “I don’t want to stop…I don’t know if I can stop,” he panted.

  The weight of his words crashed over me, causing me to shudder. I hadn’t anticipated things escalating so fast. Even though my conscious told me that at sixteen, almost seventeen, I was still too young, I knew in my heart what I desperately wanted to do. I exhaled a ragged breath. “Then don’t.”

  Jerking his attention away from my breasts, he gazed up at me. “Are you sure?”

  I bobbed my head furiously. “I mean it. I want to be with you…” I swallowed hard. “I want you to be my first.” Heat scorched across my cheeks as Maddox continued to stare at me. “You’re leaving, and I can’t think of anything better I could give you than myself.”

  “You care about me that much?” Maddox questioned in a whisper.

  “Yes, I do.”

  Gazing around, his dark brows furrowed. “But out here?”

  I gave a quick nod of my head. “What’s more romantic than being out here with you under the stars?” Chewing his bottom lip, Maddox appeared to be in some sort of inner turmoil at my request, causing my heart to plummet into my stomach. “If you don’t want me—”

  “I just told you I didn’t want to stop, didn’t I?” When I didn’t respond, he added, “This alone should be enough to tell you how much I want you.” He pushed his erection against my center causing me to gasp. “Any guy with a brain would want to sleep with you.” He nipped my bottom lip before cutting his gaze to mine. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

  Warmth tinged my cheeks at his compliments. Maddox’s hands went to the straps of my sundress. He slid them off my shoulders to where the tops of my breasts were exposed. His finger then delved inside the lazy cups of my bra. I sucked in a breath as his thumb rubbed across my hardening nipple. His lips replaced his thumb, and I pinched my eyes shut from the pleasure. While he nipped and suckled at one breast, his hand began to caress the other. I was on sensory overload and couldn’t stop the harsh pants from escaping my lips.

  One hand left my breast to snake around my back. With little effort, he managed to unzip my dress. Rising up onto his knees, he eased my dress off, leaving me in my lacy bra and underwear. As his gaze roamed over me, I inwardly groaned. I never thought I would be getting to this state, so I was mortified to be sporting a red bra with black boy shorts.

  My mismatching underwear didn’t seem to bother Maddox. He still licked his lips as he appraised me. His hands went to the hem of his shirt, and then he tugged it over his head. My fingers itched to run over the muscles of his perfect chest. “You’re so beautiful,” I murmured.

  Maddox chuckled. “I think I’m the one who should be saying that to you.”

  I tore my eyes off his abs to meet his gaze. “Then tell me.”

  “Lane Montgomery, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever rolled around in the grass with.”

  Smacking his arm, I shook my head. “Way to ruin it.”

  He chuckled. “I love to tease you. I have since we were kids, and it’s never going to change.” He nibbled his way from my jaw over to my ear. “Believe me when I say that you’ve grown into the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on,” he whispered.

  When he pulled back to look at me, I squeaked, “You mean it?”

  “Mmm, hmm, and I can’t wait to see how beautiful you are naked.”
<
br />   I knew he wanted a rise out of me for his comment, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Instead, I eased up to a sitting position. Wrapping my hands around my back, I unsnapped my bra. As it fell away, Maddox watched me intently. With shaky hands, my fingers grasped the elastic band of my panties. In a quick move, I shoved them down my knees and over my legs. When I dared to look at Maddox again, he gave me a genuine smile. “Just as I thought…beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” I murmured.

  His hands went to his belt, and the next thing I knew his shorts were bundled into the pile with the rest of our clothes. I couldn’t help stealing a glance at his erection through his boxer shorts. I didn’t get to look too long because Maddox loomed over me, pressing me back down on the blanket.

  As his hand came between my legs, I squeaked, causing him to laugh. “I hope I’ll hear a different kind of noise out of you in a second.”

  When he slid one finger and then two inside me, I rewarded him with a moan. He worked his fingers in and out of me, causing the wetness between my legs to grow. “Oh..oh…God,” I whispered.

  “Say my name,” he commanded as his fiery breath hovered over my navel. He then kissed a burning trail down between my legs. My bended knees shook as he pressed them wider apart. “Maddox!” I cried when his tongue darted out and licked me. My hips involuntarily bucked up toward his mouth. I’d never felt anything quite like the sensation of Maddox’s mouth closing over my center and sucking and nibbling.

  When he plunged his tongue inside me, I came hard and fast. I shrieked and grabbed at his hair. “Oh Maddox…Oh yes, yes!” I cried out, not caring who heard me.

  “Easy baby, don’t take all my hair before the Army can,” he murmured against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs.

  “Sorry, it’s just…oh wow.”

  His laughter against my lower belly caused my stomach to clench. “You liked that, huh?”

  “I’ve never had one of those with someone.”

  With a lazy smile, Maddox quirked his brows “Ah, you’ve been taken care of business yourself, huh?”

  Heat flooded my cheeks. “Yeah,” I murmured.

  “I’m quite honored to give you orgasms, Lane.”