Insistent

by Kaylee Ryan

  “Oh, Lauren invited us over for dinner. We’re cooking out. I told her I would bring pasta salad, so I better get busy.” She drops a kiss to my lips, and I watch her as she saunters off to the kitchen. I would definitely call this living my best life.

  In the garden of the Better Living Assisted Living Home, Gavin has my hands in his as we face each other. I thought I would be nervous, but when I woke this morning in his arms, because neither one of us wanted to spend the night away from each other, a calm washed over me. I snuck out of bed to the bathroom and watched the video Gavin recorded of my mother. He sent it to me that night, and I’ve watched it several times.

  We had breakfast together and then I left for Lauren’s. All the women met there to get ready. They helped with my hair and makeup, and then the dress. It’s white satin with spaghetti straps that looks as though it was made to fit my curves. It’s long and drags the ground, but once I add my heels, it’s perfect. I couldn’t wait for Gavin to see me in it. And his face when I walked down the aisle is one I’ll never forget.

  Now here we are about to say “I do.”

  “Gavin, repeat after me,” the minister says. He proceeds to do as he’s instructed, sliding the diamond eternity band on my finger, giving my hands a gentle squeeze. The smile on his face mirrors my own.

  “Cassidy, repeat after me.” I, too, follow the traditional vows. I wanted something simple, quick, and easy, and that’s exactly what we’re doing. When I slide his black Tungsten ring on his finger, he mouths, “I love you,” as he pulls me a little closer. He knows what comes next and he’s ready for it.

  “By the power vested in me by the state of Tennessee, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

  The words are barely out of the minister’s mouth before Gavin has his arms wrapped around me, is lifting me off my feet and crashing his lips into mine. There are whoops and hollers and cheers of congratulations. Almost all of the residents showed up, even my mom. I stopped to see her before the ceremony, and she didn’t know me. But she did, however, congratulate me on my nuptials and thanked me for inviting her. I watched the video one more time before I walked down the aisle.

  “I love you, Mrs. McIntosh,” he says against my lips.

  “I love you too, husband.”

  “Fuck yes,” he whispers. “Say it again, baby.”

  “Husband,” I repeat, knowing that’s the only part he wants.

  Our friends come up and congratulate us and head toward the tent we have set up with a DJ and finger foods. It’s a small affair, and I could not have asked for more. Once we’ve said hello and received congratulations from all our guests, we head toward the tent. Just inside sits my mother in her wheelchair. I stop in front of her, and a tear slides down her cheek.

  “Cassidy,” she whispers.

  It’s a good thing Gavin has a firm grip on my waist, or I might have fallen to my knees at the sound of her voice. “Hey, Mom,” I say, not bothering to fight the tears. Everything else fades away. All I can see and all I can hear is her. “I missed you,” I tell her honestly.

  “You’re married.” She smiles. “I didn’t know, until the end. It reminded me so much of me and your father.”

  Kneeling, I take her hand. “I’m glad you’re here,” I tell her. I don’t know how long she’ll be lucid. “Gavin is a great man. I love him very much.” I feel his silent strength behind me as he rests his hands on my bare shoulders, giving me this moment with her.

  “Handsome too,” she muses.

  I laugh through my tears. “Very handsome. I love you, Mom,” I say, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

  “Oh, my sweet girl. I love you, too. Be happy, Cassidy.” She looks over my shoulder. “Young man, I expect you’ll take good care of my baby and future grandchildren?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he agrees. “Cassidy is my heart, Margaret.”

  She nods. “Go on, go visit with all your friends who came to see you.”

  “No. We’re good right here,” Gavin insists. “There’s nothing more important than this moment right here.”

  “Tell me about you. Where will you live?” she asks.

  I go on to tell her about the house and how we’re living on the same street as Gavin’s bandmates, who are more like brothers. I wave all of them over and introduce them to her. The girls have tears in their eyes, and if I’m not mistaken, the guys’ eyes are glassy, too. There is no beer because Stacy and Lauren are breastfeeding, Logan is pregnant, and I hope to be one day soon. So, it has to be this moment.

  “Let’s move you ladies to a table,” Gavin says. He steps behind Mom’s wheelchair and guides her to the nearest table. I take the seat next to her, and Gavin the one next to me.

  “There is so much I want to know. Do you plan on having kids? How is your job? Oh my, the list goes on and on,” she says.

  “We want kids,” I say. “Our home, it’s got six bedrooms.”

  “You plan on filling all those rooms?” she asks.

  “As many as she’ll let me,” Gavin chimes in. “We can add on if we need to.”

  Mom chuckles. “He’s a keeper. I always wanted more children, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. You are the light of my life, Cassidy.”

  “I love you, Mom.” I say it again because she’s lucid and she’s with me and this is my wedding day. I can’t seem to say it enough.

  “Work is good. I was worried at first since Gavin is my boss, but it all worked out in the end.”

  “That’s great, dear. What did you say your name was again?” she asks.

  My heart plummets, and I can’t fight the burn of the hot tears behind my eyes.

  “Cass, baby, I’ve got you,” Gavin assures me. “I’ve got you,” he says again, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

  “Margaret,” one of the nurses comes rushing over. “Would you like some cake?” she asks her.

  “Oh, yes. Congratulations,” she says to us as the nurse pulls her chair from the table and wheels her away.

  I turn into Gavin’s chest and let the tears fall. He doesn’t tell me it’s going to be okay. He just holds me, letting me work it all out of my system. “I’m glad she was here, you know. That she got to see us, and that she recognized us. It was more than I could have asked for. I just wish… Gah! I hate this disease.”

  “I know, baby,” Gavin soothes. “I hate it, too, but she got to see you happy. She got to see you in your dress, and she knows that one day soon she’s going to be a grandmother. We have to hope that somewhere down the line she’ll remember it all.”

  Before I can reply, I feel three sets of arms wrap around us. Stacy, Logan, and Lauren are hugging us.

  “We know this is hard, but there are things to celebrate today. Your mom got to see you in your dress and meet your husband,” Lauren says.

  “And you two have a wedding dance to take care of,” Stacy says.

  “Yeah, how else are we going to get our husbands out on that dance floor? We’re waiting for the two of you,” Logan informs us.

  “What do you say, wife? You want to dance with your husband?”

  “Yes.”

  “I told you I love that word when it falls from these soft lips.” He traces his thumb across my bottom lip.

  “Come on, lovebirds,” Stacy jokes, tugging on each of our hands to get us up and on the dance floor.

  We spend the next couple of hours laughing, dancing, and eating cake. Gavin even led my mom out on the dance floor. Cole, Kacen, and Tristan did the same with a few of the other female residents so she wouldn’t feel singled out. It was the perfect day, and I could not have wished for more on my wedding day. I have my husband to thank for that.

  It’s not even daylight outside and I’m wide awake. My wife and I got in late last night from our honeymoon in Fiji. It was a week filled with making love to my wife and lounging on the beach, one I am sure to never forget, and neither of us were ready to come back home. But today we head back to work. My wife insisted, stating sh
e’d taken too much time off recently. I had to get the guys to threaten to fire her for us to take our honeymoon. It’s going to take her a while to get used to the fact that she’s not just an employee now. She’s mine. All fucking mine.

  I’m on my side, head propped up on my elbow just watching her sleep as memories of her naked in the crystal-clear water runs through my mind. We stayed at a private beach, and we took full advantage. Sliding my hand under the sheet, I rest my hand on her belly. I can’t help but wonder if my son or daughter is growing there. Cass warned me that it could take a while, that she’s been on birth control for a long time and sometimes these things take time. I get that, I do. However, I have this feeling, deep in my gut, the same one that told me I couldn’t live without her, that tells me we’re going to be holding our baby very soon.

  Her eyes flutter open and a slow smile spreads across her face. “Morning.”

  “Morning, my beautiful wife.” I lean in and kiss her lips.

  “What time is it?” she asks, yawning.

  “Just after six.”

  “Why are you up so early?” Her brow furrows in concern.

  “I like watching you sleep,” I say, soothing her brow with my thumb.

  “Creeper,” she says with a laugh.

  “What, can a husband not watch his wife?”

  “It’s been over a week, Gav, how many times are you going to keep saying that?”

  “For the rest of my life. It’s an honor to call you my wife.”

  “Smooth talker.” She smiles. “Since we’re up, we might as well make some breakfast.”

  “You sleep. I’ll do it.” I move to climb out of bed.

  “I’ll help. No way am I falling back asleep now that I’m up.”

  “You can set your sexy ass on the chair and watch. I’m making you breakfast. Bacon and eggs okay?” I ask.

  “Who knew husbands could be so bossy?” she asks. “Yes, that sounds perfect.”

  “Not bossy, insistent, remember?” I wink. She’s told me repeatedly that I’m too insistent, but I can’t help that I know what I want, and it all revolves around her.

  I grab some shorts from our dresser and a T-shirt for Cass. We make our way downstairs and, just as I instructed, she sits on the island in the kitchen and watches me make us breakfast.

  “I forgot to tell you. I was texting with Stacy yesterday and told her that we would keep Riley for a few hours tonight so that she and Cole could go out to dinner.”

  “Good. We’re going to need some practice,” I tell her.

  “Gav, you know it could take months even years for me to get pregnant. Some people try and it never happens for them,” she says softly.

  “If that happens, there are plenty of babies out there who need loving parents, and a safe home to call their own, and we have one big enough to offer it to them. However, I can feel it, Cass.” I set our plates on the island and slide my hand under my shirt she’s wearing to rest it on her bare stomach. “I think it’s already happened.”

  “Oh, Gavin. I’m so afraid you’re going to be disappointed.”

  “Never,” I say firmly. “Do I want to see you growing with our child? Yes, I do. Do I want to know that I’m the reason for the changes in your body and be there when you bring this tiny human that we created into the world? Hell yes. But, if that’s not how it works for us, I still get to see you be an amazing mother. I still get to be a daddy and that’s what’s important.”

  “I love you, Gavin McIntosh.”

  “I love you, too, wife.” I grin. “Now eat up. Work is calling.”

  When we get to the office, Cass goes to her office while I go to the one that I share with the guys. It was hard for me to keep my distance before, always thinking of reasons to stop in and see her, ask her questions. Now that she’s my wife, it’s even harder. I just want to be next to her all the damn time.

  “When does this… fade out?” I ask Kacen, who is the only other person here right now.

  “When does what fade out?”

  “The need to be next to her. It’s fucking with me that she’s just down the hall and I’m in here. There’s something wrong with me, right? Some kind of weird attachment thing?” I ask him.

  He throws his head back and laughs. “Well, if there is, then I have it, too. Fuck, man, we all do. You see how we all are.”

  “You and Logan have been married the longest. You still feel this… need to be beside her all the time?”

  “Every hour of the day,” he confirms.

  “Well, at least I know I’m not losing my mind,” I say, running my fingers through my hair. “She’ll rip my ass if I bother her, though. I know she’s trying to get caught up from being off and she hated missing last week.”

  “Get used to it, man. They love us, but we’ve all picked some pretty independent ladies to walk through life with us. And just a warning, they will band together. The four of them will gang up on you. Trust me, I’ve been there. Even before Cassidy was your wife, she was close to mine. I’ve been on the receiving end of that. Just agree and all is good.”

  “I can’t say no to her, but thanks for the warning.”

  “Gavin,” Cass says from the doorway. “Would you mind telling me why the GMC dealer just called to tell me they’re running earlier than expected for my delivery?” she asks, hands on her hips.

  “Shit,” I mumble. “They were supposed to call me,” I tell her.

  “What exactly are they delivering?”

  “Well, your car is great, but you’re going to need something safer and bigger.” I glance down at her still flat stomach. “Hopefully soon, so I bought you a new car.”

  “Gavin!” she scolds me. “Really? Don’t you think we should have talked about this?” she huffs.

  Kacen is sitting at his desk grinning like a fool. Asshole. “Baby, it needed to happen. Your car is older, and even if we’re not pregnant right away, it’s safer for you.” I try to reason with her.

  “Okay, but we should talk about these kinds of things. What if I hate it?”

  “It’s a new Yukon Denali, fully loaded, you’re going to love it.”

  Her eyes light up and she tries to hide her smile. “Fine. But next time we talk about this, and what are we going to do with my car?”

  “We’re donating it.” I know this is something she will be happy about. “Someone who is struggling will get it. It will be a great vehicle for them to get back on their feet.”

  “You’re forgiven,” she says, then turns and walks away.

  “Good touch with the donating the car thing. She let you off easy.”

  “I was expecting more than that, too.” I grin. “We’ve got this married thing down,” I say, holding my fist out for him. He pushes his into mine as we laugh.

  I’m sure there will be many more disagreements, but there is no one on earth I’d rather argue with more. Not to mention tonight when we get home, we’re going to need make-up sex. Hell, I love married life.

  Today is our one-month wedding anniversary, and I’m officially five days late. I’ve kept it to myself, and even though I’m pretty regular, there’s still a chance that I’m just late. There have been a lot of life changes in the last two months, which could be the reason. I could also be pregnant. I’ve not mentioned it to Gavin. I’ve been waiting to see if Aunt Flow decides to visit, and she’s yet to arrive. It’s been five long days.

  In bed, Gavin’s head is resting on my chest as he sleeps peacefully. I decided that once I hit the five-day mark, I would tell him. I even slipped out to pick up lunch Friday and bought a few tests. You can’t take just one. Gavin and the guys were busy with Shattered Heart, working on writing some new material for their debut album. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but it’s hard. Gavin might be the one who’s always talking about us getting pregnant, but I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Mine was the perfect role model, and I want the chance to be just like her. I want to be a mother. I’m afraid to be disappointed, but I know these things take t
ime, just like I keep telling him. However, here we are one month later and I’m late. He said he had a gut feeling. Could he have been right?

  My plan was to let him sleep, but I have to pee and everything I’ve read online said that first thing in the morning is the best time to take the test for earlier detection. So I have to wake my slumbering husband and tell him what I’m doing before I pee down my leg. That’s what I get for keeping things from him.

  “Gav.” I run my fingers through his hair, and he moans softly. “Babe, I need to pee,” I tell him. If he doesn’t wake up, I can take the tests and let them sit, then wake him up. “Gavin,” I say again, this time shaking his shoulder.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, raising his head to look at me.

  “I have to pee,” I tell him.

  “Sorry, come back to bed,” he mumbles.

  I climb out of bed and rush to the bathroom. I barely get the first box of tests open, which contains two, before I pee down my leg. It’s awkward as hell, and I’m glad he’s still sleeping. I can only imagine his insistent self would want to be in here and that would make it even more awkward. Sure, he’s my husband, and he’s seen all of me, but this is… uncomfortable even for me.

  Capping both tests, I set them on the counter, then wash my hands. I refuse to look at them and am determined I’ll do it with Gavin. I don’t bother putting the other tests away, not yet. Instead, I make my way back to bed. Gavin is awake, his eyes hooded as he holds the blanket up for me. I slide underneath and snuggle up next to him.

  “I have something to tell you,” I tell him.

  “What is it, baby?” he asks softly.

  “I’m late.”

  “Late for what, Cass. It’s Sunday.”

  “My period, I’m late.”

  He sits up, causing me to fall back on the bed. “How late is late?” he asks, his eyes now bright and alert.

  “Five days.”

  “Five? Why are you just now telling me?” He jumps out of bed and rushes to the dresser, pulling out some sweats and sliding them over his slim hips.