Insistent

by Kaylee Ryan

  “What are you doing?”

  “Going to get us some pregnancy tests. I knew I should have bought some just to have,” he mumbles to himself.

  “Gavin.” I try to get his attention, but he rushes toward the bathroom, I assume to brush his teeth. Instead of trying again, I grab his T-shirt off the floor, slip it over my head, and follow him. I’m leaning against the bathroom door watching as he brushes his teeth. He has yet to notice the tests, but he will when he reaches for the towel. At least I think he will.

  He shuts off the water, drops his toothbrush to the counter, and reaches for the towel. He freezes and I know he’s seen them.

  “Cassidy!” he yells for me.

  “I tried to tell you,” I say, trying to fight my laughter.

  “Have you seen these?” he asks.

  “Nope. I took them and then left them on the counter to come and talk to you. You were out of bed before I could tell you I bought tests already.”

  He picks them up, then turns to face me. His face is void of emotion, and my heart sinks. That must mean they’re negative. “So you don’t know what they say?” he asks slowly. It’s like he’s preparing me for disappointment.

  “No. What do they say?” I ask. I brace my hands on the doorframe for support.

  He looks down at the two tests in his hands. “They say…” He looks up and smiles softly. “That we’re having a baby.” His smile grows wide. “Cass, a baby, we’re having a baby.” He rushes toward me. He has his arms around me and is swinging me around before I can process what he said.

  “Gavin, stop.” I laugh. He stops spinning but keeps his hold on me. “They’re positive?” I ask, needing to hear it again.

  “They are, both of them. How many did you buy? You want to take a few more? I can go get them, but these say Pregnant, Cass.”

  “It could be a bad batch, you know. False positives. Maybe I should take the others.”

  “Whatever you want, baby. I’ll go grab a couple bottles of water. You get the tests out and ready.” He sets me back on my feet, kisses me hard and fast, and rushes out of the room. I hear his feet thunder down the stairs. I look for the tests to see for myself and realize he must still have them with him.

  He’s back in no time and opens a bottle of water, handing it to me. “Can I see those?” I point to the tests.

  “Drink,” he says, pointing to the bottle in my hands as he passes me the tests in the other.

  He reaches for the box of the two tests I took and starts reading it. “Cass, this says that these are 99 percent accurate up to as early as five days late. We’re pregnant, baby.” He grins.

  “Let’s take these, and if we get the same result, we’ll call and make an appointment.”

  I down both bottles of water in about twenty minutes. About ten minutes after that, I have to pee again. I’m able to convince him, surprisingly, to let me pee on the sticks alone. I have a feeling if he were not still gripping the first two positive tests, I wouldn’t have gotten off that easily. Capping the tests and setting them on the counter, I wash my hands. Gavin hears the water turn on and comes into the room. “Five minutes,” he says.

  “Might as well be five hours,” I say, knowing this will be the longest five minutes of my life.

  “I can help with that.” He pushes me up against the bathroom wall. “We’re having a baby,” he whispers against my lips. He kisses me, his tongue lazily stroking against mine. His hands are cupping my face, and just like every other time, I get lost in him. The feel of his hard body pressing me against the wall, the softness of his lips, and his calloused hands that hold my face. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against mine. “I love you, Cass, so fucking much. I love you,” he murmurs.

  “You’re going to have to clean up that potty mouth of yours,” I tease.

  “Done. We can get a swear jar. Our kid will be the richest around.” He laughs.

  “Yeah, and the kid on the playground the other parents warn their kids about.”

  He throws his head back and laughs. “It’s been more than five minutes,” he says once his laughter is under control.

  “You look.”

  He grins and releases me to reach for the tests. “Hell fucking yes,” he says excitedly. “Baby McIntosh.” He grins, handing me two more positive tests.

  Tears prick my eyes. We’re having a baby. I’m going to be a mom. I wish mine were here so I could tell her. Maybe, maybe she’ll have another good day so I can tell her. If not, I know she’s with me, just like she said. She’s always with me. I’ll make sure my son or daughter knows how amazing she is. They’ll know her just as I did growing up. The her before the disease took over her life.

  Gavin kisses my neck. “We need to celebrate.”

  I look up at my husband and nod. I need to be close to him… the man I love, the father of my unborn child. He leads me back to bed and pulls his shirt over my head. Dropping to his knees, he kisses my flat belly. “I’m your daddy,” he murmurs. “I love you so much already.”

  Tears fall unchecked as he guides me on the bed and proceeds to make love to me.

  My wife is twenty weeks pregnant today and so fucking beautiful she takes my breath away. Her belly looks like she has a basketball under her shirt and I can’t keep my hands off her. I talk to her stomach all the time, letting my baby know how much I love them already. And my wife, it’s more than her belly I can’t keep my hands off. She’s sexy as fuck, and it might make me a pervert, but when I look at her and see her body changing with a piece of me and her, something we created out of love, I get hard just thinking about it.

  “Gav, you ready?” she calls up the stairs.

  We found out yesterday what we’re having, but we’ve kept it to ourselves until today. We went to visit her mom, but she didn’t recognize us. We still told her about our baby, and even though I know it hurts her, Cass handled it well. Today, we’re headed over to Tristan and Lauren’s for Zach’s first birthday. It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since he was born. So much has changed. We plan on telling everyone what we’re having since we’ll all be together.

  “The gift’s on the front porch,” Cass says when I hit the bottom of the steps.

  “You should have let me get it,” I scold her.

  “Come on, Gavin. I’m pregnant, not disabled. I can carry a gift bag with a toy drum set and a fire truck.” She laughs.

  “But you don’t have to with me around.”

  “Come on, you.” She grins and pulls the door open.

  I’m quick to grab the bag in one hand and her hand with the other. We walk down the street to Tristan’s place. “Get over here,” Logan says when she spots us. We make our way to the back patio. I set the gift on the small table with other packages and then pull a chair out for Cass. “You have to tell us,” Logan demands.

  “Tell you what?” I play dumb.

  “Gavin!” She smacks my arm.

  I turn to Cass. “You want to tell them?”

  “Go ahead,” she says, laughing. She knows it’s been killing me as much as it’s been killing Logan to find out.

  “It’s a girl.”

  “Yes!” Logan cheers. “Our daughters will be so close,” she gushes, rubbing her very pregnant belly. She’s due in a few weeks with baby number two.

  All the women pass out hugs, and the guys do as well. I’m still grinning, but I think that’s been my look since the day Cass said we could try to be an us. Now here we are married, with a sweet baby girl on the way.

  “Well,” Tristan says, “since we’re making announcements,” he turns to look at Lauren, and she nods, “baby Lewis number two is baking.” He pats Lauren’s still flat belly. Another round of cheers and congratulations are passed around with more hugs.

  “Well, damn.” Cole looks at Stacy. She just smiles and nods. Cole beams at her, then kisses her softly before looking at all of us. “The Hamptons will be adding to their count as well,” he tells us.

  Riley is under a year, around
eight or so months, I guess. I’m not surprised though. Cole has always been vocal about wanting more kids. We all have, now that we’ve found the loves of our lives.

  Hours later, I’m sitting on the deck listening to our wives talk about pregnancy and baby showers. Cass’s laughter reaches me, and I smile because of it. Today has been great. My boy Zach made out on gifts, and Tristan was stoked about the drums. Apparently, he tried to buy them, but Lauren shut him down, saying it’s a lot of noise until he is older and can learn how to play. I just shrugged unapologetically. I’m sure she’ll pay me back once our baby girl is born. I’m good with it. I have a strong suspicion that, just as it is with her mother, I’ll never be able to tell her no. I’m glad that Drew, Riley, and Zach are older than her. She’s going to need older brothers to protect her.

  “What’s got you so lost in thought?” Cole asks.

  “Just that I’m glad there are boys in the family to be the older brothers to my daughter.”

  “Or to steal her heart,” Logan yells over.

  “Woman!” I laugh.

  “It could happen,” Kacen says.

  “Yeah, I guess it could happen for your little girl, too.” I see it in his face; he didn’t think that far ahead, then again neither did I until his wife chimed in.

  He takes a long drink of water. “Sure, when she’s thirty,” he says, making us all laugh.

  “Nah, man. I’d be proud to have any of those boys be with my daughter, when she’s older of course,” I tell them honestly.

  “We were heathens,” Kacen reminds me. “Well, you guys were heathens, I was just along for the ride.” He chuckles.

  “That may be true, but like our fathers before us, we were raised to love our women and take care of them. I have no doubt that your boys will be the exact same way.”

  “Can we not talk about this?” Tristan says. “If we have a girl, she’s not allowed to date. Not ever.”

  “Hear, hear,” Cole chimes in.

  I can hear our wives laughing at us, but none of us care. Our topic switches to work, not because we’re overwhelmed and need to hash it out, but because music is in our blood.

  Hours later, we’re lying in bed. Cass is sound asleep and my hand is on our daughter. Soon it will be us, our little family that’s hosting birthday parties. This woman lying in my arms has brought so much to my life. I thank God every single day for creating the perfect woman for me. That’s my last thought before drifting off to sleep.

  I brace myself, grabbing the sheets as another contraction hits. “That’s a big one,” Gavin says, staring at the monitor that tracks my contractions. I love my husband, but I’m ready to strangle him.

  “Gavin,” I grit out.

  “What, baby?” he asks sweetly.

  “I can feel how big they are. I don’t need a fucking reminder,” I tell him, for what feels like the one-hundredth time since I’ve been here. My water broke about 1:00 a.m. and it’s now ten at night. Nineteen hours of labor and a husband who reminds me I’m having a contraction. I can feel that shit, trust me.

  “Sorry, Cass. Here, have some more ice chips.” He holds a cup and spoonful of ice to my lips.

  “I don’t want more ice chips.” My voice is a little harsher than what I intended but another contraction hits.

  “Here co—” I squeeze the hell out of his hand which shuts him up.

  “I think it’s time, Gav. I feel a lot of pressure,” I tell him.

  “Let me call for the nurse.” He reaches behind my bed and pushes the call button.

  The nurse strolls into the room and lifts my blanket to check on me. “Oh my, yes, I can see the head,” she says. “Hold strong, Cassidy. I’ll just get the doctor.” She jogs out of the room and yells down the hall, to I’m guessing another nurse to page the doctor.

  “I want to see,” Gavin says, pulling the blanket back and I smack him on the back of the head.

  “I need you up here,” I say through gritted teeth as another contraction hits. “I need to push,” I say, holding onto his hand for dear life.

  “Breathe, Cass. You’re doing great, baby. You ready to meet, baby girl?” he asks.

  “Cassidy,” Dr. Brown greets me. “How are you doing?”

  “Ready to push,” I tell him.

  A flurry of activity happens: my legs are placed in stirrups, a light is brought down from the ceiling, and then he’s telling me to push. “On three, Cassidy,” he says.

  On three, I push hard and the pressure is uncomfortable. I’m thanking my lucky stars for epidurals, even if I had to have two.

  “You’re doing great, Cass.” Gavin cheers me on. He’s holding one of my legs while the nurse has the other pushed up to my chest.

  “She’s crowning,” the doctor says.

  “I have to see this,” Gavin says, and this time before I can stop him, he’s looking past the blankets. His face pales and he steps back to me. “You’re incredible,” he whispers, his hot breath next to my ear. “I love you, Cassidy McIntosh. Thank you for giving me the greatest gifts of my life. You and our daughter.”

  “Cassidy, I need one more big push. Give it all you’ve got,” Dr. Brown says from between my legs.

  “Catch her, Doc,” Gavin warns him, making the nurse and doctor chuckle.

  “I assure you, Mr. McIntosh, your daughter is in good hands. On three, Cassidy, all you’ve got,” he reminds me. “One, two, three,” he says, and I bear down, chin to my chest, and push as hard as I can. Gavin and the nurse hold my legs to my chest and just when I’m about to give up, the pressure is gone and I hear her cry.

  “Healthy baby girl,” the doctor says. Gavin moves down to cut the cord, and they wipe her down and place her on my bare chest.

  “Hello, sweet girl,” I whisper through my tears.

  “Damn good job, Mommy,” Gavin whispers. “She’s beautiful, Cass. You did it.” His voice cracks.

  “You want to hold her?” I ask. He swallows hard and nods. The nurse helps transfer our daughter from my arms to his.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” he coos at her. “I’m your daddy. I’m glad to finally meet you.” He stares down at her, a look of pure love and awe on his face.

  “All right, Daddy. We need to take her and give her a bath and run some tests.”

  “Where are you taking her?” he asks, getting defensive.

  “We’re not leaving the room.” She points over to the corner where a station is set up. “We’ll be right over there.” He nods and reluctantly passes our daughter off to the nurse.

  Gavin buries his face in my neck and tells me over and over how much he loves me and our daughter. Hot tears spill onto my neck, and I can’t seem to prevent my own from falling. What seems likes mere minutes, but I’m sure is much longer, the same nurse is placing my daughter back in my arms and helping me try to nurse. Our little girl is a champ and latches on without an issue.

  “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful,” Gavin says softly, tracing his finger over her forehead.

  We block out the activity in the room and focus on our miracle. “She needs a name,” he reminds me.

  “Yeah, what are you thinking?” We both agreed to have names in mind, but we wanted to see her first. Meet her.

  “You go first,” he says.

  “I like Cora, for a first name.”

  “Cora,” he says, testing it out. “I love it. I thought we could give her your mom’s name, too. Margaret as a middle name.”

  “How about her middle name as Renee? Cora Renee McIntosh,” I say, putting it all together. “My mom’s middle name is Renee and was also my grandmother’s.”

  “Welcome to the family, Cora Renee,” he says, leaning in to place a kiss on her tiny head.

  Once she’s finished feeding, I pass her off to Gavin, and he settles into the chair next to my bed and snuggles her close. I watch as he unwraps her and counts all ten fingers and all ten toes. “I love you, Cora.” He looks up and his eyes find mine. “Thank you, Cass. For loving me, for being my wif
e, for this precious little girl. I can’t wait until we can do this again.”

  “Hold up there, Daddy,” I say, yawning. “Let me recuperate from this little angel first.”

  “Mommy needs to sleep,” he tells our slumbering daughter. “Rest, baby. We’ll be here when you wake up.” Reaching out, I place my hand on his shoulder, I just need to feel connected to them. It’s not long before my eyes are drifting shut.

  Cass left early this morning to go to the office. Shattered Heart’s first album is about to release, and she had a press release or something that she wanted to wrap up and get sent off. I told her I would stay and wait for Cora to wake up and then be in later. Little Miss had a rough night. She’s teething and it’s hard for her to sleep.

  At six months old, she’s the light of our lives. I never thought I would say this, but if we as a band Soul Serenade never tour again, it will be fine by me. I can’t imagine being away from them for that long. And to raise her on a tour bus… that’s not the life I want for her. I know without saying it the guys feel the same way. We’ve made enough money that our kids will never have to work a day in their lives, hell, their kids even. Now, we get to sit back and coast, raise our kids, fall asleep next to our wives. Nothing is better than that.

  I hear a whimper come through the monitor, telling me she’s waking. I’m already up and ready for the day; I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to shower with my sexy wife. I came back upstairs to watch TV until Cora work up. Turning off the TV, I head down the hall to her room. She’s in her crib, fussing and wanting to be held. I’m also sure she needs a diaper change.

  “Hey, sweet girl,” I say, reaching for her. Her little arms flap in the air in excitement. Her head full of curls—the same color as her mother’s—thick and blonde is sticking up everywhere. She reminds me so much of Cass my heart aches. As soon as I pick her up, she snuggles into my shoulder. “You had a rough night, huh?” I know she can’t tell me, but I do it anyway. I talked to her before she was born, no point in stopping now. Cass says it’s why she’s a daddy’s girl, so much so she refused to nurse, but when I offered her a bottle, she took it. She was three months old when that happened. After talking with the pediatrician, we switched her over to formula, and I gotta say, I love being able to feed her.