Orville Mouse and the Puzzle of the Last Metaphonium

by Tom Hoffman

  “What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? I never got to try the beezleberry–” Orville stopped, wincing in pain. He gave a low moan, grabbing his stomach.

  “I don’t feel good, I feel sick, really sick, I think I’m going to– ”

  Sophia jumped back. “Ewww! Not here!”

  Orville darted into the jungle. Ten minutes later a wobbly Orville returned. “Sorry, I think I ate too much.”

  Sophia watched the Cake and Pie Emporium fade to nothingness.

  Brother Solus’ lip curled at the sight of Orville’s pie covered face. “Slovenly behavior.”

  Proto pulled a colorful round tin from his pack.

  “Orville, would you care for some tasty little cakes?”

  Chapter 23

  Orville’s Bed and Breakfast

  Sophia held Orville’s arm, steadying him as the party of adventurers made their way through the sweltering jungle.

  “What exactly did you try to shape?”

  “A cake and pie emporium giving away free samples of the most irresistibly delicious baked goods in the universe.”

  “You probably should have left out the irresistible part.”

  Brother Solus stopped, looking back at the adventurers.

  “The path to the Shadow King is leading us to the volcanic crater. From this point on there must be no shaping. Wish for nothing, shape nothing. Everything is changing. Your lost friend is growing weaker by the hour.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “This is Elysian, that is how I know.”

  Orville eyed the rocky volcano, its craggy silhouette jutting up into a brilliant blue sky.

  “It’s really steep, a dangerous climb. Maybe we could just blink to the top.”

  “Have you not heard a single word I’ve said? No more shaping, no more wishing, and no blinking! We are approaching the realm of the Shadow King, this is not your safe little world of Muridaan Falls. If you attempt to blink to the top of the volcano, there is no telling where you might find yourself.”

  “Sorry.”

  Brother Solus took a long slow breath. “Orville, even though it may not appear so, I assure you I have your best interest at heart. I am uncertain why this is so, but it has become clear to me that we must rescue your lost friend and return her safely to Muridaan Falls.”

  “Thanks, Brother Solus. I’m sorry I shaped the Cake and Pie Emporium.”

  “What’s done is done. I suppose at one time I was young and impulsive, though such halcyon days are long forgotten.”

  Orville nodded even though he had no idea what halcyon days were. It was curious that Brother Solus could not remember his life before Elysian.

  As they drew closer to the great volcano, the reality of its staggering size was readily apparent.

  “Creekers, it’s way bigger than Mt. Ianua. How can we climb something that tall?”

  “According to my calculations the volcano stands precisely nineteen thousand and twenty-nine feet tall, almost twice as tall as Mt. Ianua.”

  “Is there any air up that high?”

  Brother Solus answered, “This is Elysian, there will be air to breathe. Of far greater concern is what we shall find within the crater.”

  Orville’s anxiety spiked. “What do you mean? What’s in there?”

  “I have no answer, but I am being drawn to the crater by a powerful and unfamiliar force.”

  “Um… maybe we should think about this.”

  “We have no choice, saving your friend is my last hope.”

  Orville glanced at Sophia. What did Brother Solus mean? His last hope for what?

  The adventurers forged on, Sophia studying the formidable slopes of the volcano. “We should arrive at the base by nightfall. We can set up camp, get a good night’s rest and start our ascent in the morning. We can’t shape climbing gear so we’ll have to improvise, maybe use vines for ropes.”

  Proto slung off his enormous pack, rummaging around inside.

  “Here it is, two hundred feet of stout climbing rope and an iron grappling hook.”

  Orville stopped in his tracks. “You have two hundred feet of climbing rope in your pack? And an iron grappling hook?”

  “One must be prepared for all contingencies.”

  “You don’t happen to have sleeping bags and a tent in there, do you? Maybe a picnic table?”

  “I am confused, is that intended to be a lighthearted humorous question, or do you believe it to be within the realm of possibility?”

  “Orville was making a joke, Proto. He knows you don’t really have a picnic table in your pack.”

  Proto threw his head back and let out a booming staccato laugh. “Ha ha ha ha! Excellent joke, I shall have to remember that one! You don’t happen to have sleeping bags and a tent in there, do you? Maybe a picnic table? Ha ha ha ha!”

  Sophia punched Orville’s shoulder. “Good one, Orville, you make the best jokes. The best.”

  Orville’s eyes narrowed. “Thanks so much, Sophia. You know how I enjoy making you laugh.”

  Seven grueling hours later the party of exhausted adventurers staggered to a halt at the base of the gargantuan volcano. Orville dropped his pack and slumped down to the ground.

  “So tired. What are we going to do without sleeping bags and a tent? There’s probably going to be a million bugs flying around. Hey, maybe we’ll find a nice little–” Orville stopped in mid sentence, his eyes wide.

  “Maybe we’ll find a nice little what?”

  “You should probably look behind you.”

  Sophia, Proto, and Brother Solus turned to see a lovely white stucco building with colorful flower baskets hanging from the eaves, a bright red sign above the front door.

  Madam Beasley’s

  Affordable Bed & Breakfast

  Free Maps of the Volcano

  Brother Solus whipped back around, his eyes riveted sharply on Orville.

  “Great merciful heavens, mouse! Was I not clear when I told you not to shape anything? Could you not grasp that one simple instruction?”

  Orville stammered, “I… I didn’t do it on purpose. I just thought it would be nice if we… umm… found a nice…” His voice trailed off into silence.

  “Nothing else! Keep your mind focused, pay close attention to your thoughts, choose them carefully. Your thoughts change the world around you.”

  “Sorry. I’m just wondering, though, since the bed and breakfast is already here, and it’s affordable, and they have free maps of the volcano, maybe we should spend the–”

  Brother Solus glared angrily at Orville. Sophia was trying not to laugh.

  “We will spend the night in your unfortunate creation and begin our climb at sunrise.” Brother Solus yanked the front door open and stepped inside, slamming it shut behind him.

  Orville grinned. “Maybe they serve dinner. I hope they have snapberry pie. I’m starving.”

  Chapter 24

  Madam Beasley

  “I wonder what Madam Beasley is like? My mum has a friend named Madam Beasley who grows all kinds of different violets. She makes yummy jelly from them.”

  Orville followed the others into the cozy interior of the structure.

  Sophia nodded her approval. “This is nice, much better than a tent. I like all the comfy couches, and those quilts on the wall are beautiful. I still have a quilt my mum made for me when I was really little. I used to bunch it all up and hold it, pretending it was her.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… you know.”

  “It’s okay, things remind me of her, that’s all.”

  Orville grabbed Sophia’s arm, his voice a low whisper.

  “At the desk, it’s her! It’s Madam Beasley, my mum’s friend. I’m sure it is.”

  Sophia turned, studying the bespectacled mouse seated at the front desk, currently engrossed in an open book.

  “She looks a little familiar, but I only met her once.”

  “I’ve seen her a lot, and that’s her.”

  The mo
use behind the desk looked up at the sound of voices. She peered over her glasses at the adventurers.

  “Orville Mouse? What in the world are you doing here? Is that your lovely friend Sophia?”

  “Um… what?”

  Sophia gave a friendly wave. “Hello, Madam Beasley, it’s so nice to see you again. You have such a lovely bed and breakfast. I love your quilts.”

  “How sweet of you to say so, dear. What in the world are you two doing here?”

  Orville managed to shake off the surprise of encountering Madam Beasley in Elysian, and was now intensely curious.

  “Hi, Madam Beasley, it’s nice to see you. How long have you had a bed and breakfast here?”

  “Oh, dear, let me think, the years do roll by, so hard to keep track. It must be ten years since I first opened it.”

  Orville was surprised by Madam Beasley’s reply. “You remember when you first came to Elysian?”

  “Indeed I do, it was the nicest dream I’d ever had, so pleasant, the volcano so fetching in the early morning light.”

  “The nicest dream you ever had?”

  “Yes, ever so nice, that’s why I decided to come back. Every night after I fall asleep I think about Elysian, imagining every detail of the bed and breakfast, and poof, here I am. I didn’t really make all these lovely quilts, I just dreamed them.”

  Orville was feeling dizzy. “Wait, you’re dreaming this?”

  “Of course, but it’s still so nice to see you and Sophia, even if it is just a dream. You make a lovely couple, you know. Your mum is so happy you found Sophia, and so proud of the fine young mouse you’ve become.”

  “You’re dreaming this?”

  Sophia rescued a very confused Orville. “It is a lovely dream, and what a wonderful view of the volcano you have, quite spectacular. The sign out front said you have free maps?”

  “Oh, yes, you wouldn’t want to climb up to the crater without a map, it would be ever so dangerous with all that dreadfully sharp volcanic rock. I’ve climbed it more than a few times and the view from the top is simply breathtaking, you can see the whole island from up there.”

  “You’ve climbed the volcano? Isn’t it dangerous?”

  “It’s not dangerous at all if you use the map. The stairs around the volcano take you all the way to the top.”

  “There are stairs going up to the crater?”

  “I dreamed those the first year I was here. I practice my yoga every day, and I’m quite fit, but I’m not as young as I used to be, and I certainly couldn’t climb a volcano like that without stairs. I also have my guests to think about, some of them getting on in years, and the stairs make it so much more enjoyable for them.”

  “What’s yoga?”

  “What’s inside the crater?”

  Madam Beasley furrowed her brow. “How strange, I can’t quite remember, isn’t that silly? I remember seeing something there, but I can’t quite put my paw on it at the moment. It will come to me, I’m sure. Now, how long will you be staying?”

  “Just one night, I think. We want to climb the volcano in the morning and take a look at the crater.”

  Madam Beasley gave a conspiratorial wink to Orville and Sophia. “No charge for dear friends like you, and I’ll even fix you a lovely dinner. You must be famished from your long hike through the jungle. I have a freshly baked snapberry pie, if anyone is interested.” She winked at Orville.

  “Mmm, snapberry pie.”

  “It’s settled then, I’ll show you to your rooms and give you time to freshen up before dinner. There’s a map of the volcano on each bedside table. So lovely to see you both, and I’m so glad you brought Proto with you, such a charming fellow, and everyone does love his tasty little cakes.”

  Chapter 25

  Reach for the Stairs

  “I’ve packed a wholesome lunch for your hike up the volcano, with a little extra snapberry pie for Orville. You have your maps?”

  “Yes, it looks simple enough, take the trail east for three miles, look for the silver stairs, walk up the stairs to the crater.”

  “It’s as easy as pie, you’ll have a marvelous time. This has been a lovely dream, so nice to catch up with you and Sophia. Do say hello to your mum if you can remember when you wake up.”

  “Thanks, Madam Beasley. You have a lovely bed and breakfast.”

  Brother Solus gave an exasperated groan. “If you’re quite done with the pleasantries?”

  Sophia paid no attention to Brother Solus, giving Madam Beasley a warm hug.

  Less than an hour later they stood at the base of a seemingly endless silver staircase winding around the volcano.

  “Creekers, we have to climb a nineteen thousand foot tall spiral staircase? That’s almost four miles high.”

  “Come on, Dread Pirate Orville, think of the wonderful view we’ll have at the top. Madam Beasley said you can see the whole island from up there.”

  “I wonder what’s in the crater? I hope it’s not scary, full of molten lava.”

  “It all depends. Keep a tight rein on your thoughts, I don’t wish to encounter another purveyor of pastries and pies.”

  Sophia poked Orville in the ribs. “Orville puts the ‘pie’ in pirate.”

  Orville laughed. “That was actually kind of funny.”

  “You don’t happen to have sleeping bags and a tent in there, do you? Maybe a picnic table? Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!”

  “Um…that was funny, Proto, but your timing was a bit off. We weren’t really talking about a pack or anything you could put sleeping bags in.”

  “I have calculated the number of steps to the top, arriving at a figure of seventy-two thousand and forty-nine steps. The volcano is nineteen thousand twenty-nine feet tall, and the stairs spiral around the volcano at a rate–“

  Orville groaned. “My feet hurt already and we’ve only gone up a few hundred steps.”

  “Two hundred and twenty-nine steps.”

  On step four thousand and twenty-one Sophia sat down with a groan. “My feet are killing me. Orville, how about giving me a nice foot rub?”

  “Sorry, the Dread Pirate Orville doesn’t give foot rubs.”

  On step five thousand and thirteen Orville stopped in his tracks. “Get down! I saw something moving behind that big rock up ahead, something red.”

  “Oh, dear, perhaps it’s a deadly mountainous variety of red carnivorous centipede. Not to belabor the point, but the only scary creatures we’ve seen on this adventure have been the blue pirates, and they were almost a mile away.”

  “The caterpillars were scary.”

  Proto blinked several times, attempting to compose a reply which would not hurt Sophia’s feelings.

  Orville hissed, “Shhh! Nobody move, I’m going to sneak up there and see what it is.”

  Step by step, Orville crept up the stairs, keeping as low as he could, being careful not to dislodge any small rocks or stones which might give him away. Inching his way forward, he peered around the huge rock.

  “Sophia! You’d better see this!”

  A minute later all four adventurers were eyeing a colorful sign hanging above a rustic wooden bench. Seated on the bench was Madam Beasley, looking quite lovely in a red and yellow flowered frock.

  Madam Beasley’s

  Complimentary Foot Rubs

  Madam Beasley gave Sophia a sympathetic smile.

  “Have a seat, dear. Put up those poor aching feet and I’ll give you a nice relaxing foot rub. There’s a pitcher of cold lemonade on that table, if anyone is thirsty from the long climb.”

  “Madam Beasley, how did you get up here?”

  “This is a dream, dear, I can be anywhere I want.”

  “That feels so good. Orville wouldn’t give me a foot rub.”

  Brother Solus’ expression was dour.

  Proto was frowning. Relaxing foot rubs on a perilous adventure seemed entirely inappropriate. “I’m beginning to think we won’t see any scary creatures at all, just bide our time while certain mice get relaxing
foot rubs.”

  Brother Solus sidled over to Proto, whispering in his ear.

  Proto’s eyes opened wide. “Oh, dear, are you certain?”

  Brother Solus continued.

  “How awful!”

  Brother Solus stepped away from Proto.

  Proto’s eyes were bright. “Oh my, how absolutely dreadful, quite terrifying indeed. It will be a miracle if any of us survive.” He rubbed his great silver hands together, his face wreathed in a wide grin.

  On step nineteen-thousand three hundred and twenty-one Orville plopped himself down on the stairs with a groan.

  “Can’t go any farther… legs burning… too tired… so thirsty.”

  “Oh no, I left my favorite blue socks back at the bed and breakfast. Orville, could you run get them?” Sophia gave a cackling laugh.

  “Very funny. We’re almost a mile up in the air and you’re making jokes. I didn’t get a nice relaxing foot rub like some of us did. Hey, Brother Solus, you were right, the air up here is fine, not hard to breathe at all.”

  “This is Elysian. Perhaps we should rest for a while. That lava tube looks promising, we could set up a rudimentary campsite in there, safe from the elements.”

  Proto tilted his head, studying the black opening.

  “It may not be a lava tube at all, perhaps residing within it is a nest swarming with deadly venomous mountain spiders.”

  “I feel a lot better now, not so tired.” Orville darted up the stairs.

  On step thirty-one thousand and fourteen Sophia sat down with a sigh. “That’s it for me. I need some dinner and a comfy sleeping bag.”

  Brother Solus looked as though he might drop. “If you insist. We can sleep beneath that big outcropping.”

  “Do you think it would be safe to shape sleeping bags?”

  Brother Solus closed his eyes, a pained look on his face. “You shape at your own peril. We are approaching the realm of the Shadow King. All the rules are changing.”

  Orville flicked his wrist. There was a flash of orange light and a leather shoe filled with soft moldy cheese blinked into existence, a dreadful smell filling the air.