Orville Mouse and the Puzzle of the Last Metaphonium

by Tom Hoffman

  “I wouldn’t mind being a pirate. It seems like it would be kind of fun. I’d call myself the Dread Pirate Orville, but I wouldn’t hurt anyone or steal from them.”

  Sophia snorted. “You can’t be a dread pirate if you don’t capture ships and steal treasure.”

  Proto nodded emphatically. “And make your prisoners walk the plank, turning them into tasty snacks for the terrifying scaly monstrosities roaming the depths of this dark and mysterious otherworldly sea.”

  “First of all, I’m not going to make a mouse walk the plank, and second, this ocean doesn’t seem especially dark and mysterious. The only creatures I’ve seen are a few silver fish jumping out of the water, not exactly terrifying scaly monstrosities.”

  Proto continued. “From an ethical standpoint, if you refrain from pillaging and plundering, then the act of calling yourself the Dread Pirate Orville would at best be extremely misleading, and at worst an outright falsehood, quite unconscionable. I would suggest a more appropriate name, something like Orville the Friendly Pirate.”

  “I’m not calling myself Orville the Friendly Pirate! Just in case you hadn’t realized it, I have no intention of actually becoming a real pirate, I’m just saying it would be fun to ply the salty seas wearing a three cornered hat and a black eye patch, singing sea shanties with a crew of old sea dogs.”

  “Again, I’m confused by your choice of an eye patch as an accoutrement. Your vision is fine in both eyes, is it not? It seems illogical to cover up a perfectly good eye. Clearly, good eyesight would be an invaluable asset in the seafaring trade.”

  Orville looked helplessly at Sophia. “Is it me? Am I going loopy?”

  Proto let out a great staccato laugh. “Ha ha ha ha! I have hoodwinked you soundly. I was fully aware you had no intention of becoming a pirate, clearly understanding your musings to be nothing more than an idle daydream. My questions were purposefully confounding, part of my clever scheme to get your goat.”

  Sophia cackled, “Good one, Proto!”

  Orville glared at Sophia, about to give his undiluted opinion of Proto’s peculiar sense of humor when a voice rang out from the ship’s wheel.

  “Land ho, laddies! Look sharp, there lies the emerald beauty herself, the Isle of the Silver Ship!”

  Orville ran to the bow of the Sophia. “Sophia, Proto, come look! It’s a lot bigger than I thought it would be, and it has a huge mountain in the middle.”

  Proto scanned the distant isle. “It appears to be a jungle habitat, quite similar to the jungles of Periculum. The mountain you mentioned is unfortunately a volcano, much larger than Mt. Ianua.”

  Orville’s smile faded. “It’s all jungle? There’s a volcano?” He was remembering the huge carnivorous centipedes they had encountered deep in the jungles of Periculum.

  Sophia whacked Orville’s arm. “Not every jungle has carnivorous centipedes, and the volcano doesn’t look active.”

  Orville gave a weak smile.

  “Captain Tobias, why do they call it the Isle of the Silver Ship?”

  “Aye, a fine question, lassie, but one I have no answer for. Ye be on your own to unravel the dark mysteries of this lost land.”

  “Who lives on the island?”

  “Nary a soul, laddie.”

  “Why do you come here if no one lives here?”

  “Not once have I set foot on the emerald Isle of the Silver Ship.”

  Orville stared blankly at Captain Tobias. “You sail here all the time, but you’ve never set foot on the island?”

  “Aye, laddie, this bein’ Elysian, there’s the reason why.”

  Orville nodded, baffled by Captain Tobias’ cryptic reply.

  “Eyes in the boat, mateys! Furl the sheets, loose the halyards. Prepare to drop anchor!”

  The adventurers needed no further instruction. Ten minutes later the sails were down, the anchor dropped, the ship safely moored a hundred yards off the sandy white beaches of the mysterious island.

  “Good news, I don’t see any carnivorous centipedes enjoying a pleasant day at the beach.”

  “Lower the longboat, she’ll carry you to the shore.”

  Brother Solus and Proto released the lines, the ropes singing through the pulleys as the longboat fell, splashing into a gently rolling sea. They clambered down the rope ladder into the rocking craft. Proto set the oars in the locks, waiting for Orville and Sophia.

  “Captain Tobias, thank you so much for taking us here. We truly appreciate your kindness. We’re looking for a lost friend. We think she’s in the realm of the Shadow King.”

  “Aye, lassie, ’tis there ye shall find all things lost.”

  Sophia gave Captain Tobias a warm hug. “Thank you.”

  Orville shook paws with Captain Tobias. “Thanks for teaching us how to sail a ship. It was really fun, I won’t ever forget it.”

  “Aye, when the sea calls, a mouse shall answer, ’tis a truth undenied.” He reached into the pocket of his great blue captain’s coat, pulling out a worn old pocket watch, holding it up for Orville to see.

  “That’s a nice watch. Proto said you can use a pocket watch kind of like a compass if you line it up with the sun.”

  “Aye, ’tis so. The watch is yours now, laddie, a gift from an old sea captain, the captain who heard your call across the Great Sea.”

  “What?”

  “The watch is yours, ’tis the greatest treasure a mouse can ever know. Mark my words well, laddie.”

  “I can’t take it, it’s too much, it’s your gold pocket watch.”

  Captain Tobias pressed the watch into Orville’s paw. “There’s no more to be said. Into the longboat with you. On your way, laddie.”

  “Well, if you’re really sure.” Orville reluctantly slipped the watch into his pocket as he and Sophia climbed over the ship’s rail and down the rope ladder, taking their seats behind Proto.

  “Cast off, mateys! Until we meet again on the Great Sea!”

  Orville released the lines, setting the long boat free. Proto dipped the oars into the water, pulling away from the Sophia.

  Orville gripped the gold pocket watch given to him by Captain Tobias. How could an old watch be the greatest treasure a mouse could ever know?

  Chapter 22

  Isle of the Silver Ship

  Orville was the first to set foot on the island.

  “This is beautiful. I’ve never seen beaches like this, so white, and the sand is so soft. Look at all the seashells.” He stooped over and picked up several, tucking them into his pack, a gift for his mum. Brother Solus frowned, but made no comment.

  Proto pulled the longboat onto the beach, tying it securely to a gnarled jungle tree. “That will hold it until Captain Tobias returns.”

  Orville turned for a last wave to Captain Tobias and the Sophia, but stopped before he could raise his arm. He was staring at a vast and empty indigo sea.

  “The ship’s gone! It can’t be gone, he was just here.”

  Sophia scanned the horizon. A bright blue thought cloud floated out of her ear to Orville.

  “I just thought of something, the red book said the Mintarians who returned from the synthetic worlds told stories of creatures flickering out of nothingness, of long deceased friends and relatives appearing, great cities which came and went in a single day, and oceans where there had been none.”

  “That’s why Brother Solus didn’t know about the Great Sea! It wasn’t there before. It’s why he didn’t know how long the trip would take, because everything is always changing. Do you think he knows he’s in a synthetic world?”

  “We don’t even know if he’s real. Look at Captain Tobias, he was here and then he was gone, the Sophia was gone. Was he real?”

  Orville reached into his pocket. “I still have the watch, he must have been real.”

  “He seemed real when he was here. Maybe he’s back at Pier 29, sitting on the foredeck reading his newspaper and puffing on his big pipe.”

  “I hope so, I liked him a lot. There was something
about him.”

  Brother Solus’ voice rang out. “Enough! You are worse than a flock of chattering magpies!”

  Orville took a deep breath. How could one Mintarian be so annoying?

  “That trail goes into the jungle. Let’s take that, although I have no idea where we’re going. Maybe we’ll find a fishing village along the coast, one with boats.”

  “Captain Tobias said the island was uninhabited, but there could be an abandoned fishing village, something like Okeanos. At least now we know how to sail.”

  “And we have Orville the Friendly Pirate to guide us.”

  Orville laughed. “Avast, mateys, walk that scurvy Rabbiton off the plank into the deep blue!”

  “Come on, Dread Captain Orville, let’s find out why the universe brought us to the Isle of the Silver Ship.”

  The jungle habitat proved to be a steaming labyrinth of gnarled trees, vines, and dense undergrowth. Barring the swarms of buzzing iridescent yellow insects with long furry antennae, it did not appear especially dangerous.

  “Perhaps we shall encounter a nest of enormous electric vine lizards deeper in the jungle. I should imagine in such a sweltering and oppressive environment as this they would attain unprecedented size and ferocity.”

  “Thanks, now I have something to look forward to.”

  Sophia stooped down, examining the trail. “Captain Tobias said the island was uninhabited, but this path isn’t a natural formation, someone or something must have–.”

  Brother Solus’ voice cut through the air. “Your logic is fundamentally flawed, your understanding of Elysian equally so. Have you learned nothing since you arrived in this confounding world?”

  Sophia attempted a pleasant smile, but could feel her neck getting hot. Her understanding of scientific matters was seldom questioned, and Brother Solus’ insinuation rankled her badly.

  “How exactly is my logic flawed?”

  “You truly do not understand why the jungle trail is here?”

  “I merely suggested that animals created it when they–“

  “Wrong, wrong, and wrong again! The trail was not created by animals, or by any other form of jungle denizen, nor by creatures from some far distant world. The trail was created by you. This infernal ocean was created by you, the fishing village was created by you, the Elysian Inn, the books, Captain Tobias, the Sophia, all created by you. Elysian is a reflection of you and your inner thoughts. That is the deeper nature of Elysian.”

  “Which is why you didn’t know how long it would take us to reach the realm of the Shadow King. The journey is different for every mouse who takes it, each one creating their own set of obstacles, things they love and things they fear.”

  “You have surprised me. Perhaps there is hope for you yet, you appear to possess a modicum of understanding.”

  Orville did not like Brother Solus’ tone. “Sophia is the smartest mouse I’ve ever met. She knows more about science than anyone, and she’s traveled to a lot of different worlds.”

  Brother Solus’ face softened. “And in you it is readily apparent she has found a true and loyal friend. I spoke harshly, and for that I apologize. My point, simply made, is that the world of Elysian is like no other, it is a–” Brother Solus stopped, his stern demeanor abruptly reappearing. “Enough chattering about such things, let us proceed.” He turned sharply and strode down the jungle trail.

  The three adventurers walked along behind Brother Solus, Sophia keeping her voice low to avoid being overheard.

  “I’ve been thinking about the science behind Elysian. The physical matter in these synthetic worlds must be less dense than the matter in our world, more easily manipulated by our minds. The Mintarians who took refuge in the Metaphoniums’ synthetic worlds became powerful shapers without realizing what was happening. Whatever they feared or loved appeared in their world. It must have been terrifying for them, oceans and creatures and departed loved ones springing out of nothingness.”

  “That’s why Captain Tobias appeared after I wished for a crusty old sea captain.”

  “And why my caterpillars appeared. It’s possible our shaping skills may be far more powerful here than back in Muridaan Falls. Try shaping something really big, something you wouldn’t be able to shape back home.”

  “Okay, something really big.”

  Orville thought for a minute, then flicked his wrist. He gave a shriek, momentarily blinded by the brilliant flash of light that blasted out from his paw.

  Sophia’s paws were over her eyes. “What did you do?”

  “I tried to shape something really big, but all I got was a giant flash of light.”

  “What did you try to shape?”

  Orville gave Sophia a nervous glance. “Nothing, just something really big.”

  “Maybe I’m wrong, maybe Elysian doesn’t magnify our shaping abilities. Maybe the environment is only affected by our unconscious thoughts.”

  Brother Solus stopped abruptly, holding up one paw, bellowing out, “Orville Mouse! Is this your doing?”

  Orville jumped, looking anxiously at Sophia. “What did I do?”

  “I have no idea. Let’s go see what he wants.”

  The three adventurers hurried down the trail to find Brother Solus standing at the edge of a large clearing. In the center sat a long low building with glowing white walls, an elegant gold sign hanging above the entrance.

  Elysian’s Spectacular

  Cake and Pie Emporium

  “Orville?”

  “Whoa, it worked!”

  Brother Solus gave Orville a distinctly sour look.

  Orville darted over to the stately door of the Cake and Pie Emporium, eyeing the gleaming brass fittings.

  “Fancy. Looks opulent, very opulent.”

  “Opulent? Really? I thought you said you were done with your word for the day.”

  “I am done with it, opulent is just one of the many words I use on a daily basis.” Orville grinned, swinging the door open and stepping inside, the air heavy with mouth watering aromas of freshly baked cakes and pies. A fifty foot long display case spanned the room, sparkling glass shelves brimming with hundreds of exquisitely baked delicacies.

  “Creekers! Look at all those cakes and pies and cinnamon rolls and cobblers and–”

  “How hungry were you when you shaped this?”

  Proto gave a small sniff. “I suppose such baked goods might appeal to an unsophisticated palate, but I see nothing approaching the caliber of my tasty little cakes.”

  Sophia whispered, “Your cakes are the best, Proto. Everyone knows that. Nothing else even comes close.”

  A wide door behind the long glass counter flew open, a buoyant mouse clad in a starched white apron and tall chef’s hat striding out.

  “Welcome, my dear friends, to Elysian’s Spectacular Cake and Pie Emporium, home of the most irresistible pastries in this universe or any other. Please seat yourselves in preparation for a cake and pie extravaganza you will not soon forget. A most generous sampling of our fare will arrive shortly at your table. You are both welcomed and encouraged to try as many cakes, pies, or pastries as you wish, all at no charge.”

  “Now I know you shaped this place. No charge for all the cakes and pies you can eat?”

  Orville rubbed his paws together. “Mmm… it smells so good, I don’t know where to start.”

  Orville’s mouth was watering when the cheery chef appeared with an enormous tray of delightfully flaky treats balanced precariously on his shoulder, smoothly setting it down with one practiced fluid motion.

  “Bon appetit, my friends. Do let me know if there are any particular cakes or pies you are especially fond of.”

  “Do you have snapberry pies?”

  The chef waved his paw across the tray. “Snapberry pie happens to be our speciality, young sir. In fact, this entire section of the tray consists of our own snapberry culinary creations. You’ll find snapberry frosted cakes, snapberry pies, snapberry cobblers, muffins, turnovers, strudels, and even some exq
uisitely flaky snapberry eclairs with brimbleberry frosting.”

  Orville plucked a half dozen samples from the tray, setting them down in front of him. His eyes lost focus with the first bite of snapberry pie.

  “Soooo good, sooooo delicious.”

  Sophia watched as the cakes and pies in front of Orville disappeared one by one.

  “Mmm, yum, so good. I wonder what these are?” Orville pulled six more samples from the tray. “Oh, I love brimbleberry pie!”

  Sophia noticed the tray was still full, even though Orville had eaten more than a dozen pastries. She removed a plate of warm brimbleberry tarts, watching as another plate took its place. “It’s just like the books at the Okeanos Book Fair.”

  Orville made no reply, his mouth filled with three kinds of pie.

  “Orville, you’re going to make yourself sick. You should slow down.”

  Orville gulped down the pies, croaking out his reply.

  “Still starving, not full at all. So good, best pastries ever. Pie is so good.” He dropped his fork, grabbing pastries from the tray with both paws, piling them in front of him.

  “Use a napkin, you have pie filling stuck all over your fur.”

  “So good, can’t stop eating. Mmm… so tasty.” He shoved his face into a plate of snapberry eclairs, dreadful slobbery sounds filling the air.

  Proto nudged Sophia. “Perhaps he has had enough?”

  “There’s no perhaps about it.” Sophia yanked the plate of eclairs away from Orville. “You need to stop.”

  “What are you doing? These are the best eclairs ever, they have brimbleberry frosting!”

  “Orville, we have to go now. You’re going to get sick. This isn’t right, it isn’t like you.”

  “Can’t go yet, haven’t tried the strudel.” Orville grabbed a plate of warm beezleberry strudel. “Looks so delicious!”

  “Proto, help me get him out of here!”

  Proto picked Orville up like a furry sack of wriggling potatoes and carried him outside, setting him down at the edge of the clearing.