Don't Call Me Kid

by Popescu, Alina

  CHAPTER THREE

  "DID YOU FINALLY GET WHAT you wanted?" Taylor asked when I returned to Mom and Dad's. He crossed his arms over his chest, his permanent glare fixed on me.

  I didn’t know why Taylor hated me so much, or why he tried to steal things from me. Our parents' attention, trying to outplay my every win, Parker. He'd flaunted Parker again and again after my fifteenth birthday. He'd even been cruel enough to tell me he'd intended to break up with Parker after that weekend. But his being something I wanted had made Parker more appealing.

  I wondered if Taylor knew that had been only partly true. Unlike the other guys he'd dated, Parker had never seen Taylor as anything but exactly who he was. And Parker had loved him anyway. That acceptance and love had kept Taylor interested. It was why he'd married Parker. Deep down, I knew Taylor realized he'd had something precious. Yet he hadn't been able to stop himself from ruining it. I only wished he'd direct his lashing out at me and leave Parker out of it.

  "Yeah, sure, Taylor. I took him home and fucked him. You should at least know Parker better than that."

  His eyes turned into glowing slits and he snarled. "I do, little brother. I know him a lot better than you do."

  I shrugged and pushed past him. "Then you have absolutely no excuse for losing him."

  "I did not lose him!" He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

  I let myself move with the momentum and leaned against him, my chest out as I pressed forward. "Really? What then? You dumped him? Cause I fucking know who filed for divorce. And who tried to talk who out of it."

  Taylor smirked and pushed me back. He didn't have enough force, but I didn't want more contact with him than absolutely necessary, so I stepped back on my own. "He'll come back to me."

  I laughed, the sound strangled and pained. "Not unless you change. And even then, I doubt even you can fix that much damage. But please, keep flaunting the guy you want to move in with." I made air quotes, thrilled to see him flinch. "That will definitely convince Parker you want him."

  "Maybe I am just tired of him and decided to leave you my scraps."

  At the last minute, I opened my fist and slapped him across the face, sending him sideways. "He's not a piece of meat you throw around, Taylor. And even though he lowered himself so much as to date you, he'll never be scraps for anyone. But you know that already. You've lost the best man that ever graced you with his attention."

  I turned to leave, and Taylor throttled me. I raised my arms enough to protect my face. The heels of my palms took the brunt of it and I groaned as I exhaled. His bony arms had dug deep into my side and it hurt like a bitch. "Leave Parker alone," he shouted, spit hitting my face.

  "Fuck you." I pushed him away. "I won't abandon him after what you've done."

  "Van, the hero of the day." He laughed and extended his arms, doing a pirouette. "Watch out, world. He's going to right all your wrongs. Selfless to the bone."

  I shook my head, suddenly feeling exhausted. Every interaction with my brother drained me. "Taylor, you're my brother. You're messed up, but I love you. Enough to call your bullshit. But remember one thing. I will never stand by and let you hurt him again. If he's self-destructive enough to take you back, I'll be watching your every move."

  I closed the door on his vile comeback and searched for Mom. A hasty goodbye later, I ran out of the house, eager to leave all that tension behind. Fuck, I was glad I was moving back to my own place soon.

  ***

  Taylor's name flashed on my screen and I threw the phone on the couch, as far from me as I could. I didn't have time for his bullshit. I'd had a shitty week with my freelance work, dealing with long hours and stupid people. Now that it was over, I couldn't take a dose of my brother until I'd had a chance to unwind.

  My phone chirped with a flurry of texts, then buzzed on the couch as Taylor called again and again. After half an hour, I swore and picked it up.

  "What the fuck do you want, Taylor?"

  "Where's Parker?"

  I took a deep breath, then another. "How should I know?"

  "Aren't you all buddy-buddy? He's not at work. Hasn't been there all week."

  I leaned back, trying to relax and return my attention to the movie I'd been watching. "Or maybe he avoids you whenever you go there."

  "I thought of that, smart ass! He's not in. On vacation. Parker took time off work without being compelled."

  I rubbed my forehead and sighed loudly into the phone. "Can you blame him, Taylor? You've fucked up his life."

  He said something under his breath which I didn’t hear. "Just check up on him."

  I paused, mouth gaping open. Taylor never showed this level of concern. He'd never willingly ask me to spend more time with his ex. "What aren't you telling me?"

  "Nothing. Just talk to him."

  "Taylor, don't make me beat it out of you." I could hear the eye roll, but we both knew I was physically capable of it. And, when it involved Parker, I definitely would.

  "The health insurance company still has his old P.O. box address. I've received a letter from them, summarizing the medical services he's used recently. He's been in a few times."

  Parker never went in for anything other than mandatory yearly tests. And even then, he tried to dodge. He wouldn't voluntarily see a doctor unless it was serious. I cursed and held my phone away for a second. "Fine, I'll go see him tomorrow."

  Taylor hung up without another word. He was smart enough to know I wouldn't share whatever I found out.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  I KNEW I LOOKED LIKE crap. I'd failed to get any sleep after Taylor's phone call. I'd tried calling Parker, but he hadn't picked up. Now, as I hovered in front of his door, I wondered whether I'd been right to come here without a word from him.

  I took a deep breath and held it as I pushed the button of his doorbell. Its chime seemed too loud, making me cringe. Nothing happened, so I pressed it again, putting my ear to the door and trying to pick up some movement inside. I finally exhaled when I heard shuffling and quickly stepped back, trying to minimize my creepiness.

  The door opened slowly, and Parker stared blankly at me. His eyes half-closed, his hair a complete mess, he looked like he was about to fall asleep on his feet.

  "Parker, sorry. Did you get my text?"

  He grunted and waved me in, then dragged his feet to the couch in his living room. He pushed a pizza box and some other wrappers away and collapsed on it.

  "Are you okay?"

  He nodded and patted the seat next to him. I hurried to comply and the moment my butt hit the seat, he snuggled close, resting his head on my lap. "Cold," he murmured.

  I grabbed the quilt hanging on the side of the couch and covered him. Parker shivered and then relaxed.

  "Do you need anything? Should I call a doctor?"

  He shook his head, which looked weird with him curled up on his side like that. "Just need to rest."

  I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair. He made a pleased sound, so I kept going long after his breath had evened out. I don't know how long I stayed like that, massaging his scalp and watching him sleep.

  "What's the time?" Parker slurred his words as he woke up, stretching like a cat and pushing his head higher on my lap.

  "About noon," I said after checking my phone. "How are you feeling?"

  "Tired." He sat up and rubbed his eyes. I'd managed to make his hair a lot messier and he looked so sweet, I ached with the need to touch him more.

  "What are you doing here?" His voice was still heavy with sleep, but the words were crisper.

  "Came to check up on you. Heard you'd taken a vacation from work and I just had to see it for myself."

  Since the divorce, Parker hadn’t taken a free day for any reason. I had a hunch he resented holidays for forcing him out of the office.

  "Taylor." The name sounded like a curse on his lips.

  I nodded. No need to deny it.

  "Dad said he's been looking for me. What else did he tell you?"

&n
bsp; I squirmed as he pinned me down with his intense stare. I couldn't, not even after all this time, deal with this depth of scrutiny from Parker. "Said something about doctor's appointments."

  Parker sighed and patted my shoulder. "That explains you coming here. I'm fine."

  "Then tell me what the doctor said"

  Parker rolled his shoulders and moved his head from side to side. "Got a few dizzy spells at work. Dad forced me to go get it checked out. Extreme exhaustion, apparently. Doc said I should rest, and Dad made sure I listened."

  I smiled at his cranky expression. "Looks like you needed it."

  He shrugged and looked away. "Couldn't really sleep for the first few days. I did catch up on all the TV series I wanted to watch. And those I didn't. Then, something clicked, and I think I've done nothing but sleep and eat for the past few days. It's Saturday, right?"

  "Yeah. How about you shower, and I'll take you to lunch?" I looked around at the wrappers and beer bottles littered across the living room. "Something that's not junk food."

  He slumped and hung his head. "I don't have the energy."

  "You need the fresh air. Just do as I say."

  "Fine, kid. I'll shower and get ready."

  Kid. Every time he called me that, I felt a little bit of my heart shriveling up and dying. There was nostalgia in hearing the word, but my need for him to see me as a man always overpowered it. He was only four years older than me, for God's sake!

  I tried to relax as I waited for him to get ready, but I couldn't sit still. I got a garbage bag from the kitchen and started cleaning up. I moved from the living room back into the kitchen and sorted everything into recyclables and stuff to simply throw out, then took them to the appropriate bins on the ground floor.

  I knew this building by heart. Parker had inherited his apartment from his grandmother and he'd lived in it since college. Later, when he'd moved in with Taylor, they'd had to find a new apartment. This place wasn't posh enough for my brother. The little wanker was spoiled, wanted nice things and status, which he'd happily gobbled up when Parker's advertising job had supplied them. Then he'd tried to blame Parker's crazy work hours for his cheating. Bastard!

  The moment he'd filed for divorce, Parker had moved back here. He'd left the old place to my brother, but of course Taylor couldn't afford it on his own. He'd stayed in the same posh building but downgraded to a one-bedroom. He had expensive tastes, and he needed clothes and pricey cocktails more than he needed a spacious apartment. That's how I knew he wasn't going to move in with the kid he'd been flaunting. He wanted someone to provide for him.

  "Ready," Parker said when he returned to the living room. He looked around, taking in the tidier room. "Oh, man, you didn't have to clean up for me."

  I shrugged. "Take it as a thank you for all those times in high school my mother made you take care of me when I was sick." I didn't get sick a lot as a kid, but I did have a tendency to catch colds and flus. I was lax about how many layers I wore and never knew how to stay away from kids who spread germs around. Mom couldn't get sick, it would keep her away from her social life and she knew better than to delegate to Taylor, so the moment Parker walked into our lives, she'd asked him to care for her sick child. Being the nice guy he was, Parker had always done it without complaint.

  Parker rolled his eyes. "Then I'm buying you lunch."

  I'd invited him, but I knew he wouldn't budge. It wasn't worth fighting over it anyway. As long as I got him out of the house and made sure he ate properly, I could afford to lose one battle.

  "Where to?" Parker asked over the humming of his engine when we got in the car.

  I wanted a place that was close to a park. Maybe I could force a walk on him after we ate. "How about that Turkish place next to Lincoln Park?"

  His wide grin told me I'd hit jackpot. He loved anything Middle Eastern. Grilled meats, rice, carrot salad, it was definitely better than the junk he'd been consuming. He peeled out of the parking lot without another word, his smile still on.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I SPRAWLED ON THE BENCH next to Parker and rubbed my belly. "Don't think I can move anymore."

  Parker huffed and tried to reach me, but his hand hung limp. "Me either. Who's going to drive us back?"

  I sighed and closed my eyes, letting the warmth of the early afternoon sun wash over me. "We can sleep it off. Then crawl back to your car."

  He groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. "Don't even mention moving to me anymore. Binge-eating is a bad idea."

  We hadn't really binge-eaten, had we? We'd had two desserts each, but no shoveling food in our mouths to fill the emptiness inside. We'd savored it, right? That counted, didn’t it?

  "Maybe we should come here more often. Then we wouldn't be compelled to get everything on the menu."

  I could feel Parker's eyes on me. I let my head roll to my left and gazed back at him. He frowned, searching for something.

  "Thanks for today," he said. His words made no sense, not with his tense posture. He seemed upset somehow.

  "You wish I hadn't come by."

  He shook his head. "No, not at all."

  I reached out and ran my fingers along his frown lines. "Then why are you so tense."

  "I guess I am just trying to figure out why you'd care so much."

  Because I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Of course, I couldn't confess at a time like this. Or ever. "Just because my brother is dumb enough to push you out of his life doesn't mean I am too. I've known you for ten years and change, Parker. You were there for me more than my own flesh and blood. Of course I care about you."

  He smiled, his face relaxing a smidgen. "I keep forgetting you and Taylor have very little in common."

  I scrunched my nose. "Don't burst my bubble. I like to pretend I'm adopted."

  He chuckled, the faint shaking traveling through the old wooden boards of the bench, lulling me into a state of immense pleasure. "Fine, you are nothing alike."

  I latched onto that lie. I knew I looked like Taylor, although my features weren't as delicate. We had the same mouth shape, the same eyes. The same hair texture, although my cut did a fine job of hiding that and Taylor liked to dye his a darker color. We also shared my mother's impeccable bone structure. Growing up, especially in my teenage years, I remember wishing I at least had a different father, even if I loved my dad to pieces. I just felt the need to disconnect, something to separate me from Taylor and his toxic personality.

  "Hey, let's go for a walk around the lake," I said, regretting the suggestion the moment I stood up.

  Parker glared at me, his lips pressed into a grim line.

  "Come on." I extended my hand and motioned for him to take it. "You'll thank me when you feel less awful."

  "You mean after I kick your ass?"

  I took in his tilted head and the playful grin curving his lips. "Let's settle for walking off our monster lunch."

  Parker clicked his tongue. "You're no fun."

  I wiggled my eyebrows and smirked. "I could prove you wrong in a heartbeat."

  He looked at me wide-eyed, as taken aback by my flirty tone as I'd been. He recovered faster than me and bumped his shoulder into mine.

  "Really? Are you going to show me all your best moves?"

  I laughed, sounding ragged despite the effort of hiding my panic. "You wouldn't survive that, old man."

  ***

  "So, how is he?" Taylor puffed his chest, trying to scare the reply out of me. It was useless, I'd outgrown him long ago.

  "None of your business."

  "You little shit! I sent you there. You better spill or I'll fucking punch that grin off your face."

  I shrugged and leaned into the cupboards. He'd cornered me in the kitchen right after family dinner. Rookie move on my part, going anywhere on my own. "You could try."

  His nostrils flared with his furious breathing, his eyes burning imaginary holes into me. "Stop dicking around. Is he okay?"

  Deep down, under thick layers of s
elfishness and snarl, Taylor had been worried. I knew him well enough to pick up on it. I relented, despite my brain and heart screaming at me to say nothing. "He's fine. He just needed to rest properly."

  Taylor slumped his shoulders and nodded. "Good. That's good news."

  "Why the fuck did you ruin your marriage?"

  I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, but it was too late. The words had gotten out into the world and Taylor had heard them.

  He sneered, but I noticed the wave of pain hidden underneath. "Better than waiting until he left me."

  I stared at him, jaw dropping. I was pretty sure it had hit the floor. "What the hell are you talking about? Parker would have never left you."

  "One day he would have realized he could do better." Taylor ran his hand through his hair and winked. "Not this level of gorgeous, but better."

  Hot fury came over me, gripping me tightly. I had to do something, let it out somehow, otherwise I feared I'd implode. I grabbed his shoulders and turned us around, pushing him into the cupboards, cans and containers inside rattling. "You fucking idiot! Parker always knew exactly who you were. Are you so sure anyone else will love you?"

  Taylor's eyes darkened. "What the hell do you know about him? Or me?"

  I let go of him and staggered back. "I've known you all my life, Taylor. And I've been watching you two for a long time. You're an idiot if you think—"

  "Yes, I know you're a creep, drooling all over Parker. You've never had eyes for anyone else, always wanting what's mine!"

  Taylor's shout echoed in the kitchen. I wanted to lash out, hit back, but I couldn't. None of that was a lie. I was the little creep perving on his brother-in-law. I had wanted what Taylor had for the past ten years.

  I took a deep breath and held it in. Eyes closed, heart thundering, I tried my best to relax. I pushed the air out of my lungs, propelling hurt and shame out of me along with it.