The Royal Book of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER 12

  DOROTHY AND SIR HOKUS COME TO FIX CITY

  The afternoon went pleasantly for the three travelers. The road waswide and shady and really seemed a bit familiar. Dorothy rodecomfortably on the Cowardly Lion's back and to pass the time told SirHokus all about Oz. He was particularly interested in the Scarecrow.

  "Grammercy! He should be knighted!" he exclaimed, slapping his knee,as Dorothy told how the clever straw man had helped outwit the GnomeKing when that wicked little rascal had tried to keep them prisonersin his underground kingdom.

  "But, go to! Where is the gallant man now?" The Knight soberedquickly. "Mayhap in need of a strong arm! Mayhap at the mercy of someterrible monster!"

  "Oh, I hope not!" cried Dorothy, dismayed at so dark a picture. "Why,oh why, did he bother about his family tree?"

  "Trust the Scarecrow to take care of himself," said the Cowardly Lionin a gruff voice. Nevertheless, he quickened his steps. "The soonerwe reach the Emerald City, the sooner we'll know where he is!"

  The country through which they were passing was beautiful, but quitedeserted. About five o'clock, they came to a clear little stream, andafter Dorothy and Sir Hokus had washed their faces and the CowardlyLion had taken a little plunge, they all felt refreshed. Later theycame to a fine pear orchard, and as no one was about they helpedthemselves generously.

  The more Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion saw of Sir Hokus, the fonderof him they grew. He was so kind-hearted and so polite.

  "He'll be great company for us back in the Emerald City," whisperedthe Cowardly Lion as the Knight went off to get Dorothy a drink froma little spring. "That is, if he forgets this grammercy, bludgeonstuff."

  "I think it sounds lovely," said Dorothy, "and he's remembering moreof it all the time. But I wonder why there are no people here. I dohope we meet some before night." But no person did they meet. As itgrew darker, Sir Hokus' armor began to creak in a quite frightfulmanner. Armor is not meant for walking, and the poor Knight was stiffand tired, but he made no complaint.

  "Need oiling, don't you?" asked the Cowardly Lion, peering anxiouslyat him through the gloom.

  "Joints in my armor a bit rusty," puffed Sir Hokus, easing one footand then the other. "Ah, had I my good horse!" He expressively waveda piece of the giant's button at which he had been nibbling.

  "Better climb up behind Dorothy," advised the Cowardly Lion, but SirHokus shook his head, for he knew the lion was tired, too.

  "I'll manage famously. This very night I may find me a steed!"

  "How?" asked the lion with a yawn.

  "If I sleep beneath these trees, I may have a Knight mare," chuckledSir Hokus triumphantly.

  "Br-rrr!" roared the Cowardly Lion while Dorothy clapped her hands.But they were not to sleep beneath the trees after all, for a suddenturn in the road brought them right to the gates of another city.They knew it must be a city because a huge, lighted sign hung overthe gate.

  "Fix City," read Dorothy. "What a funny name!"

  "Maybe they can fix us up," rumbled the lion, winking at Sir Hokus.

  "Perchance we shall hear news of the valiant Scarecrow!" cried theKnight, and limping forward he thumped on the gate with his mailedfist. Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion pressed close behind him andwaited impatiently for someone to open the gate.

  A bell rang loud back in the town. The next instant, the gates flewopen so suddenly that the three adventurers were flung violently ontheir faces.

  "Out upon them!" blustered Sir Hokus, getting up stiffly and runningto help Dorothy. "What way is this to welcome strangers?" He pulledthe little girl hastily to her feet, then they all ran forward, forthe gates were swinging shut again.

  It was almost as light as day, for lanterns were everywhere, butstrangely enough they seemed to dart about like huge fireflies, andDorothy ducked involuntarily as a red one bobbed down almost in herface. Then she gasped in real earnest and caught hold of Sir Hokus.

  "Uds daggers!" wheezed the Knight. Two large bushes were running downthe path, and right in front of Dorothy the larger caught the smallerand began pulling out its leaves.

  "Leave off! Leave off!" screamed the little bush.

  "That's what I'm doing," said the big bush savagely. "There won't bea leaf on when I get through with you."

  "Unhand him, villain!" cried Sir Hokus, waving his sword at the largebush. The two bushes looked up in surprise, and when they sawDorothy, the Cowardly Lion and Sir Hokus, they fell into each other'sbranches and burst into the most uproarious laughter.

  "My dear Magnolia, this is rich! Oh, dear fellow, wait till Sit seesthis; he will be convulsed!" Quite forgetting their furious quarrel,the two went rollicking down the path together, stopping every fewminutes to look back and laugh at the three strangers.

  "Is this usual?" asked Sir Hokus, looking quite dazed.

  "I never heard of bushes talking or running around, but I confess I'ma few centuries behind times!"

  "Neither did I!" exclaimed Dorothy. "But then--almost anything'slikely to happen in Oz."

  "If these lanterns don't look out something will happen. I'll break'em to bits," growled the Cowardly Lion, who had been dodging half adozen at once.

  "How would we look--out?" sniffed one, flying at Dorothy.

  "You could light out--or go out," giggled the little girl.

  "We never go out unless we're put out," cried another, but as theCowardly Lion made a few springs, they flew high into the air andbegan talking indignantly among themselves. By this time, the threehad become accustomed to the changing lights.

  "I wonder where the people are," said Dorothy, peering down a wideavenue. "There don't seem to be any houses. Oh, look!"

  Three tables set for dinner with the most appetizing viands werewalking jauntily down the street, talking fluent china.

  "There must be people!" cried Dorothy.

  "One dinner for each of us," rumbled the Cowardly Lion, licking hischops. "Come on!"

  "Perchance they will invite us. If we follow the dinners, we'll cometo the diners," said Sir Hokus mildly.

  "Right--as usual." The Cowardly Lion looked embarrassed, for he hadintended pouncing on the tables without further ceremony.

  "Hush! Let's go quietly. If they hear us, they may run and upset thedishes," warned Dorothy. So the three walked softly after the dinnertables, their curiosity about the people of Fix growing keener atevery step. Several chairs, a sofa and a clothes tree rushed pastthem, but as Dorothy said later to Ozma, after talking bushes,nothing surprised them. The tables turned the corner at the end ofthe avenue three abreast, and the sight that greeted Dorothy and hercomrades was strange indeed. Down each side of a long street as faras they could see stood rows and rows of people. Each one was in theexact center of a chalked circle, and they were so still that Dorothythought they must be statues.

  But no sooner had the three tables made their appearance than bellsbegan ringing furiously all up and down the street, and dinner tablesand chairs came running from every direction. All the inhabitants ofFix City looked alike. They had large, round heads, broad placidfaces, double chins, and no waists whatever. Their feet were flat andabout three times as long as the longest you have ever seen. Thewomen wore plain Mother Hubbard dresses and straw sailor hats, andthe men gingham suits.

  While the three friends were observing all this, the tables had beentaking their places. One stopped before each Fix, and the chairs,after much bumping and quarreling, placed themselves properly. At asignal from the Fix in the center, the whole company sat down withoutso much as moving their feet. Dorothy, Sir Hokus and the CowardlyLion had been too interested to speak, but at this minute a wholeflock of the mischievous lanterns clustered over their heads, and atthe sudden blare of light the whole street stopped eating and stared.

  "Oh!" cried the Fix nearest them, pointing with his fork, "Look atthe runabouts!"

  "This way, please! This way, please! Don't bark your shins. Don'ttake any more steps than you can help!" boomed an important voicefrom the mid
dle of the street. So down the center marched the three,feeling--as the Cowardly Lion put it--exactly like a circus.

  "Stop! Names, please!" The Fix next to the center put up his knifecommandingly. Sir Hokus stepped forward with a bow:

  "Princess Dorothy of Oz, the Cowardly Lion of Oz."

  "And Sir Hokus of Pokes," roared the Lion as the Knight modestlystepped back without announcing himself.

  "Sir Pokus of Hoax, Howardly Kion of Boz, and Little Girl Beginningwith D," bellowed the Fix, "meet His Royal Highness, King Fix It, andthe noble Fixitives."

  "Little Girl Beginning with D! That's too long," complained the King,who, with the exception of his crown, looked like all the rest ofthem, "I'll leave out the middle. What do you want, Little With D?"

  "My name is Dorothy, and if your Highness could give us some dinnerand tell us something about the Scarecrow and--"

  "One thing at a time, please," said the King reprovingly. "What doesPoker want, and Boz? Have they anything to spend?"

  "Only the night, an' it please your Gracious Highness," said SirHokus with his best bow.

  "It doesn't please me especially," said the King, taking a sip ofwater. "And there! You've brought up another question. How do youwant to spend it?"

  He folded his hands helplessly on the table and looked appealingly atthe Fix next to him. "How am I to settle all these questions,Sticken? First they come running around like crazy chairs, and--"

  "You might ring for a settle," suggested Sticken, looking curiouslyat Sir Hokus. The King leaned back with a sigh of relief, thentouched a bell. There were at least twenty bells set on a high postat his right hand, and all of the Fixes seemed to have similar bellposts.

  "He's talking perfect nonsense," said Dorothy angrily. The CowardlyLion began to roll his eyes ominously.

  "Let me handle this, my dear. I'm used to Kings," whispered SirHokus. "Most of 'em talk nonsense. But if he grows wroth, we'll haveall the furniture in the place around our ears. Now just--"

  Bump! Sir Hokus and Dorothy sat down quite suddenly. The settle hadarrived and hit them smartly behind the knees. The Cowardly Liondodged just in time and lay down with a growl beside it.

  "Now that you're settled," began the King in a resigned voice, "wemight try again. What is your motto?"

  This took even Sir Hokus by surprise, but before he could answer, theKing snapped out:

  "Come late and stay early! How's that?"

  "Very good," said Sir Hokus with a wink at Dorothy.

  "Next time, don't come at all," mumbled Sticken Plaster, his mouthfull of biscuit.

  "And you wanted?" the King asked uneasily.

  "Dinner for three," said the Knight promptly and with another bow.

  "Now that's talking." The King looked admiringly at Sir Hokus. "ThisLittle With D had matters all tangled up. One time at a thing! That'smy motto!"

  Leaning over, the King pressed another button. By this time, theFixes had lost interest in the visitors and went calmly on with theirdinners. Three tables came pattering up, and the settle drew itselfup of its own accord. Dorothy placed the Cowardly Lion's dinner onthe ground, and then she and Sir Hokus enjoyed the first good mealthey had had since they left Pokes. They were gradually becoming usedto their strange surroundings.

  "You ask him about the Scarecrow," begged Dorothy. Everybody hadfinished, and the tables were withdrawing in orderly groups. The Kingwas leaning sleepily back in his chair.

  "Ahem," began the Knight, rising stiffly, "has your Majesty seenaught of a noble Scarecrow? And could your Supreme Fixity tell usaught--"

  The King's eyes opened. "You're out of turn," he interrupted crossly."We're only to the second question. How will you spend the night?"

  "In sleep," answered Sir Hokus promptly, "if your Majesty permits."

  "I do," said the King solemnly. "That gets me out of entertaining.Early to bed and late to rise, that's my motto. Next! It's yourturn," he added irritably as Sir Hokus did not immediately answer.

  "Have you seen aught of the noble Scarecrow?" asked Sir Hokus, andall of them waited anxiously for the King's reply.

  "I don't know about _the_ Scarecrow. I've seen _a_ Scarecrow, and asensible chap he was, hanging still like a reasonable person andletting chairs and tables chase themselves 'round."

  "Where was he?" asked Sir Hokus in great agitation.

  "In a picture," said the King. "Wait, I'll ring for it."

  "No use," said the Knight in a disappointed voice. "We're looking fora man."

  "Would you mind telling me why you are all so still, and why all yourfurniture runs around?" asked Dorothy, who was growing a littlerestless.

  "You forget where you are, and you're out of turn. But I'll overlookit this once," said the King. "Have you ever noticed, Little With D,that furniture lasts longer than people?"

  "Why, yes," admitted Dorothy.

  "Well, there you are!" King Fix Sit folded his hands and regarded hercomplacently. "Here we manage things better. We stand still and letthe furniture run around and wear itself out. How does it strikeyou?"

  "It seem sensible," acknowledged Dorothy. "But don't you ever growtired of standing still?"

  "I've heard of growing hair and flowers and corn, but never ofgrowing tired. What is it?" asked Sticken Plaster, leaning towardDorothy.

  "I think she's talked enough," said the King, closing his eyes.

  Sir Hokus had been staring anxiously at the King for some time. Nowhe came close to the monarch's side, and standing on tiptoe whisperedhoarsely: "Hast any dragons here?"

  "Did you say wagons?" asked the King, opening his eyes with aterrible yawn.

  "Dragons!" hissed the Knight.

  "Never heard of 'em," said the King. The Cowardly Lion chuckledbehind his whiskers, and Sir Hokus in great confusion stepped back.

  "What time is it?" demanded the King suddenly. He touched a bell, andnext minute a whole company of clocks came running down the street.The big ones pushed the little ones, and a grandfather clock ran sofast that it tripped over a cobblestone and fell on its face, whichcracked all the way across.

  "You've plenty of time; why don't you take it?" called the Kingangrily, while two clothes trees helped the clock to its feet.

  "They're all different," giggled Dorothy, nudging the Cowardly Lion.Some pointed to eight o'clock, some to nine, and others to half pastten.

  "Why shouldn't they be different?" asked Sticken haughtily. "Some runfaster than others!"

  "Pass the time, please," said the King, looking hard at Dorothy.

  "The lazy lump!" growled the Cowardly Lion. But Dorothy picked up thenearest little clock and handed it to King Fix Sit.

  "I thought so," yawned the King, pointing at the clock. At this,everybody began ringing bells till Dorothy was obliged to cover herears. In an instant, the whole street was filled with beds, "rollingup just as if they were taxis," laughed Dorothy to Sir Hokus. TheKnight smiled faintly, but as he had never seen a taxi, he could notappreciate Dorothy's remark.

  "Here come your beds," said the King shortly. "Tell them to take youaround the corner. I can't abide snoring."

  "I don't snore, thank you," said Dorothy angrily, but the King hadstepped into his bed and drawn the curtains tight.

  "We might as well go to bed, I 'spose," said the little girl. "I'm sotired!"

  The three beds were swaying restlessly in the middle of the street.They were tall, four-post affairs with heavy chintz hangings. Dorothychose the blue one, and Sir Hokus lifted her up carefully and thenwent off to catch his bed, which had gotten into an argument with alamppost. When he spoke to it sharply, it left off and came trottingover to him. The Cowardly Lion, contrary to his usual custom, leapedinto his bed, and soon the three four-posters were walking quietlydown the street, evidently following the King's instructions.

  Dorothy slipped off her shoes and dress and nestled comfortably downamong the soft covers. "Just like sleeping in a train," she thoughtdrowsily. "What a lot I shall have to tell the Scarecrow and Ozmawhen I get h
ome."

  "Good night!" said the bed politely.

  "Good night!" said Dorothy, too nearly asleep to even think itstrange for a bed to talk. "Good night!"